#selfinquiry - Hello Poetry

These knotted guts eject my pulsating heart, while I wait for my welfare to imminently crumble– I’m lunging from my vessel. I frantically survey for danger, but the culprits remain covert– I turn up empty on my basis. But failing to subside, I wonder… do the wires of my diagnosis wrap me in incessant neurosis? Or has conditioning to trauma trained my brain to fear? Regardless I remain engulfed by this looming devastation, and my neck constantly aches from looking over my shoulder.

0

Oct 22, 2024

Oct 22, 2024 at 10:42 PM UTC

FallingAwake

Hypervigilence

These knotted guts eject my pulsating heart, while I wait for my welfare to imminently crumble– I’m lunging from my vessel. I frantically survey for danger, but the culprits remain covert– I turn up empty on my basis. But failing to subside, I wonder… do the wires of my diagnosis wrap me in incessant neurosis? Or has conditioning to trauma trained my brain to fear? Regardless I remain engulfed by this looming devastation, and my neck constantly aches from looking over my shoulder.

17

I’m coasting through my life, Many chances unseen, Perfection or failure– I know nothing between. I’m afraid to attempt, Any new kind of feat, For risk of the unknown, Leaves my goals incomplete. Before an honest chance, I avoid and delay, Then I self-sabotage, Every step of the way. And I’ll only engage, If I’m sure I’ll succeed, Never taking a chance, So, my win’s guaranteed. This way I’m protected, But, I don’t dare to dream– For I’m broadly inept, With a low self esteem. Of course, I’m missing out, On any real progress, For this fear of failure, Never leads to success.

0

Oct 19, 2024

Oct 19, 2024 at 1:41 AM UTC

FallingAwake

Atychiphobia (Fear of Failure)

I’m coasting through my life, Many chances unseen, Perfection or failure– I know nothing between. I’m afraid to attempt, Any new kind of feat, For risk of the unknown, Leaves my goals incomplete. Before an honest chance, I avoid and delay, Then I self-sabotage, Every step of the way. And I’ll only engage, If I’m sure I’ll succeed, Never taking a chance, So, my win’s guaranteed. This way I’m protected, But, I don’t dare to dream– For I’m broadly inept, With a low self esteem. Of course, I’m missing out, On any real progress, For this fear of failure, Never leads to success.

24

It seems I don't know quite how to respond, To the pain present, within and beyond, So, my subconscious defaults to the lead, With habitual patterns, I proceed… Reliant on instincts and emotions, These primal pathways take me through motions, Now I’m acting rash, values misaligned, Hurting loved ones in this stressed frame of mind, All because I’m unable to pacify, My cortex, drenched in stimuli.

0

Oct 11, 2024

Oct 11, 2024 at 10:37 PM UTC

FallingAwake

Autopilot

It seems I don't know quite how to respond, To the pain present, within and beyond, So, my subconscious defaults to the lead, With habitual patterns, I proceed… Reliant on instincts and emotions, These primal pathways take me through motions, Now I’m acting rash, values misaligned, Hurting loved ones in this stressed frame of mind, All because I’m unable to pacify, My cortex, drenched in stimuli.

10

Are we only just a series of events - a lot of dates and deeds to check off and that says who you are? But, that happens again and again. The ones here now want to be here – chose to be here – have indeed chosen and arranged everything as it is just so. We’re all playing roles. All showing each other what we are. Who will you turn to in your greatest moment of need? They have all betrayed you as you have betrayed them. This is the way it’s set up for each one to see that only One Self is true and real. This is the only way. So, how far will you take it, my own heart and soul? To the ugly, bitter end believing the programming you’ve been given? Or, will you be what you are, rather than repeat sleeping through reality, and be free of the shackles of personality.

0

Aug 13, 2021

Aug 13, 2021 at 1:51 PM UTC

Billie_Marie

shackles of personality

Are we only just a series of events - a lot of dates and deeds to check off and that says who you are? But, that happens again and again. The ones here now want to be here – chose to be here – have indeed chosen and arranged everything as it is just so. We’re all playing roles. All showing each other what we are. Who will you turn to in your greatest moment of need? They have all betrayed you as you have betrayed them. This is the way it’s set up for each one to see that only One Self is true and real. This is the only way. So, how far will you take it, my own heart and soul? To the ugly, bitter end believing the programming you’ve been given? Or, will you be what you are, rather than repeat sleeping through reality, and be free of the shackles of personality.

21

Allowing the story to be told Along the spiral path of time Deeper and deeper along the blooms of the rose You keep unfolding Coming home to yourself the dance beckons you further asking for your honesty, vulnerability, humility Be brave, take the first step, journey to the bridge between the finite and infinite to the dark fertile void of possibilities into the light of their existence An embodiment of creation Feeling more alive within every fold of emotion, every texture, every taste on the spectrum, every sound imaginable, smells like a field of wildflowers tickling your senses simultaneously encompassing their juxtaposition whole and complete unto themselves No labels What it means to be human To feel so deeply yet be prone to numbness To be exposed to the elements yet have a compass to find your way back to the beating anchor that guides you The infinite love that animates you Allowing the story to unfold Not always doing what you're told Not knowing what that even is then welcoming clarity like the brightest sunrise after the darkest hour Sometimes lost then found anew Learning how to tell the difference between resonance and dissonance And the balance that helps it all make sense Using a little of each, sparingly, carefully, distilling beauty from the crazy cacophony So many paths leading to the same destination yet only one rings true at a time Surrendering to the wisdom Innate, embodied the dance goes on to a different tune Are you willing to explore? Do you have a hunger for more? What drives this desire? An unexplainable longing to be among the possibilities A chance, an attempt, a try Unprecedented perhaps that's why Co-creating something new A different perspective A fresh point of view Journeying within to see that you are a cosmic reflection of all that is wanting to know itself as your life, reflected back as me Reflections in a lake We are all mirrors for each other Beauty unbounded Words are limited in describing this You merely scratch the surface of your experience Yet they propel you like guides to the unseen realms To see without eyes To hear without ears Following the music of your soul Answer the call Here and Now What will you discover?

0

Oct 3, 2020

Oct 3, 2020 at 11:51 PM UTC

alena-simonian

The Spiral Path

Allowing the story to be told Along the spiral path of time Deeper and deeper along the blooms of the rose You keep unfolding Coming home to yourself the dance beckons you further asking for your honesty, vulnerability, humility Be brave, take the first step, journey to the bridge between the finite and infinite to the dark fertile void of possibilities into the light of their existence An embodiment of creation Feeling more alive within every fold of emotion, every texture, every taste on the spectrum, every sound imaginable, smells like a field of wildflowers tickling your senses simultaneously encompassing their juxtaposition whole and complete unto themselves No labels What it means to be human To feel so deeply yet be prone to numbness To be exposed to the elements yet have a compass to find your way back to the beating anchor that guides you The infinite love that animates you Allowing the story to unfold Not always doing what you're told Not knowing what that even is then welcoming clarity like the brightest sunrise after the darkest hour Sometimes lost then found anew Learning how to tell the difference between resonance and dissonance And the balance that helps it all make sense Using a little of each, sparingly, carefully, distilling beauty from the crazy cacophony So many paths leading to the same destination yet only one rings true at a time Surrendering to the wisdom Innate, embodied the dance goes on to a different tune Are you willing to explore? Do you have a hunger for more? What drives this desire? An unexplainable longing to be among the possibilities A chance, an attempt, a try Unprecedented perhaps that's why Co-creating something new A different perspective A fresh point of view Journeying within to see that you are a cosmic reflection of all that is wanting to know itself as your life, reflected back as me Reflections in a lake We are all mirrors for each other Beauty unbounded Words are limited in describing this You merely scratch the surface of your experience Yet they propel you like guides to the unseen realms To see without eyes To hear without ears Following the music of your soul Answer the call Here and Now What will you discover?

50

The mind makes this hand strike this head as if to say - See! I am here and you have to listen! We invite all sorts of ugliness in to protect us from who we think we are and employ others to help with the job knowing nothing What am I writing? Doesn't matter - I am always writing I wish to go to a place where the mind cannot go - where the mind does not matter and the mind couldn’t help even if it wanted to Much better to let things go - fall to sideways - than to keep fighting Life just goes that way anyway, right? The mind - roving, moving - always looking for next Eat smoke drink blah-blah repeat Little agitated thoughts come - shouldn’t this - must do that Poke, poke and prodding along To where? Like the poor cow - to my death I can smell the blood same like she could I turn - try to turn away from the death they bring - eyes mad with fear - humanity’s disease But the walls are close - so close Didn’t we make it this way? For security and comfort and to keep us all moving in a straight and steady line? A lineage of unbroken sleeping zombies drunk on our own separated imaginings The world you see shrinks smaller You start to touch the edge of panic Yet steady in the storm and no long feel it Yet see it go rushing past and leave you where I am. Yet still and I see the mind throwing up moments setting up forms for my perusal wasting its time For what? Isness minds no time Why some times I get hooked? It’s just this world - no need for fear I am free Did you think to make me believe I was the worst? Ego - mind all deceit and trickery Yet, I see you Will I take you again to yet another life - some other dream No this time is done This mind is set aside for no person This mind is made for only bliss

0

Aug 4, 2020

Aug 4, 2020 at 12:22 PM UTC

Billie_Marie

yet still and I see the mind

The mind makes this hand strike this head as if to say - See! I am here and you have to listen! We invite all sorts of ugliness in to protect us from who we think we are and employ others to help with the job knowing nothing What am I writing? Doesn't matter - I am always writing I wish to go to a place where the mind cannot go - where the mind does not matter and the mind couldn’t help even if it wanted to Much better to let things go - fall to sideways - than to keep fighting Life just goes that way anyway, right? The mind - roving, moving - always looking for next Eat smoke drink blah-blah repeat Little agitated thoughts come - shouldn’t this - must do that Poke, poke and prodding along To where? Like the poor cow - to my death I can smell the blood same like she could I turn - try to turn away from the death they bring - eyes mad with fear - humanity’s disease But the walls are close - so close Didn’t we make it this way? For security and comfort and to keep us all moving in a straight and steady line? A lineage of unbroken sleeping zombies drunk on our own separated imaginings The world you see shrinks smaller You start to touch the edge of panic Yet steady in the storm and no long feel it Yet see it go rushing past and leave you where I am. Yet still and I see the mind throwing up moments setting up forms for my perusal wasting its time For what? Isness minds no time Why some times I get hooked? It’s just this world - no need for fear I am free Did you think to make me believe I was the worst? Ego - mind all deceit and trickery Yet, I see you Will I take you again to yet another life - some other dream No this time is done This mind is set aside for no person This mind is made for only bliss

64

Each day hundreds of cells die And hundreds resurrect - those who Compose my body, my self. Thus, I change each moment, bit by bit Without realisation - a continuous transformation. Each cell that composes my body -Living and Dying- Is as much as heir of my existence As any other. A collection of all cells Makes what I 'am'. The thought that holds onto a desire of immortality- Amidst a continuous flux of birth and death Is perhaps what 'I' am.

0

Jan 31, 2020

Jan 31, 2020 at 3:29 AM UTC

arh367

Awareness

Each day hundreds of cells die And hundreds resurrect - those who Compose my body, my self. Thus, I change each moment, bit by bit Without realisation - a continuous transformation. Each cell that composes my body -Living and Dying- Is as much as heir of my existence As any other. A collection of all cells Makes what I 'am'. The thought that holds onto a desire of immortality- Amidst a continuous flux of birth and death Is perhaps what 'I' am.

14