#selfinflicted
How unfortunate
The bird flies yet sees no joy
Falls down, falling down
One hundred meters
Its wings remain by its sides
Goes down, going down
Seventy meters
The clouds and the ground too far
Glides down, gliding down
Just fifty meters
Grass isn’t any greener
Zings down, zinging down
Only twenty left
Eyes closed and body waiting
Comes down, coming down
Ten meters to go
Each blade of grass countable
Soars down, soaring down
Only ten seconds
Now only seven seconds
Crash down, crashing down
Five, four, three, two, one
The bird colors the ground red
Nothing but silence
4d ago
May 31, 2026 at 5:10 AM UTC
the heroes of
those action movies
from the 80s and 90s
always looked
so much cooler
with their split lips
and bloodied noses
than i ever could
as they faced off
against the villain
of the piece
bruised and aching
they would struggle on
regardless of pain
their success set back
but inevitable nonetheless
to be honest
i would love to see
one of those heroes
try to overcome
the villain
of my peace
i've had plenty
of nose bleeds
through the years
but most of them
self-inflected
Aug 30, 2023
Aug 30, 2023 at 9:54 AM UTC
mithridatism
the act of
poisoning until
you
are no longer
vulnerable
to you
to your
heat, heart, humor
taking you
piece by piece
until I can
stomach
you
whole
Jan 27, 2019
Jan 27, 2019 at 12:22 PM UTC
i'm a victim, no, a demon
poisoned by my own hand
can't rest from the voices
and high are their demands
so i live in ups and downs
guided by the whispers
i know i do this to myself
but i can't always remember
Nov 18, 2018
Nov 18, 2018 at 12:26 PM UTC
Each wilted word that fell from those thorny lips only bred despair. but. those piercing lips and sharpened tongue
which mercilessly cut others down
also cut itself to shattered bits
every. single. time.
Jun 20, 2018
Jun 20, 2018 at 6:43 PM UTC
Here I am bleeding again
Taken aback by mortal fear.
Staring at faith
Staged by hope--
Pouring rain on visceral cage–
The sound of deep
Calling to deep.
Repressed feelings buried by Time.
Epitaph reads on the forgotten Grave:
"Here lies the child now grown.
His hopes and dreams
Dashed to pieces.
This is where the child died."
I often hear the Mystic Keeper
Calling from night
And tradition calling from Artificial light
As I run through scorched Barren
Fields of doubt,
Walking barefoot over these Coals
Crouching low
To hide my eyes
As I run
And as I hide
From what has already been revealed--
The tombstone says it all.
When I am out on the water
Lost in the Channel fog
I often see fleeting glimpses of
White cliffs of hope
Like the white cliffs of Dover
Shining on the edge of Melancholy Sea.
But they often turn out to be
Withered white
Seeds of religious platitudes.
And then there is the ready Reflection
Of the looking glass
That often tricks the Beholder.
For in it truth is not seen.
What is seen is graffiti of soul
Hiding the crumbling
Cracks of age–
The threshold where
Sanity meets its end.
Isolation has become
A shining steel blade
Cutting deep
Into the heart of hearts.
Nothing lives after amputation.
Depending on emotional Prosthetics--
Phantom pain
When nothing is There.
But in the midst of these Devastations
I am learning to take--
Howbeit reluctantly--
The hand of trust and grace;
Allowing
Hope to build
A fortress for dreams…
Set boundaries better
Than no control at all.
Feb 28, 2017
Feb 28, 2017 at 10:48 AM UTC
Love poem
Never read
In a letter
Never sent.
Self-inflicted torment.
-- Eleanor
Jul 14, 2015
Jul 14, 2015 at 2:54 AM UTC
Sadly this woman with the biggest heart
Has to rip out her most loving thoughts
She must turn cold
For over her, people just rolled
She alway knew they would
But she still did what she could
She so desperately wanted to belive
That everyone that was truly in need
Would appreciate what she did
She had the faith of a little kid
She believed there was good in most everyone
But now with all of that, she was done
There finally was that last straw
Finally a line she had to draw
This decision was agonizingly painful
After this, she didn't know what she would live for, would she be able
The pain of this was greater then all that had came before
This killing of her own soul hurt so much more
Than what any human monster had inflicted
With this her heart would truly be restricted
She took the broken pieces of her being
Ground them to dust as tears down her checks kept steaming
She knew with this final self inflicted act
There would be no coming back
There would be no more love, no hope
If not for drugs, how would she cope
With one last sigh
One last cry
She pounded what made her, her to dust
She felt no other way out, it was a must
The chain that bound her to helping others just turned to rust
It broke and fell away
She wondered why on this earth would she now stay
For with all the good she had tried to spread into this wicked place
She sincerely thought it would be returned when difficulties she faced
Only to find
No other human would act as kind
Every single person she tured to
Only replied "what can I do"
"I would help, but I must put myself first"
Her loving heart made her feel so utterly cursed
So she decided that was it
No longer with the afflicted would she sit
No longer would she put others before herself
They could all fall off the ******* shelf
This decision was not freeing
It was gonna **** her completely, her fragile soul, her being
It was gonna break the ties that held her to this life
But when she need help, no one was there to end the strife
Now this woman with the biggest heart
Has to rip out her most loving thoughts
Now she is as cold and heartless as the rest
But look really hard, there is still the stain of tears upon her breast
Apr 19, 2016
Apr 19, 2016 at 4:21 PM UTC
There's just one thing I long to do to you.
My minds fed up;
Frustrated.
I want to give you a *******
Facelift!
Staring at yourself
have you ever seen-
Your face so beautiful?
Have you ever been replaced
While watching it all go down?
I can't erase you from my mind
I can't controll the way I feel
Your memory
Consumes me
Like the cancer that you are.
I can't erase-
Or turn back time.
I'm so ******* sick from this
DEPRAVITY
CONSUMES ME
time to **** this ******* *****
This times for real *****
Deep breath in!
Beauty...
It's only skin deep!
And so is my knife,
I'll erase you!
This times for real now
So let's begin!
Maybe it's always been me...
It's all in my mind,
I'll replace you.
REPLACE YOU!
IT'S ALL IN MY MIND [I'LL REPLACE YOU]
Jan 30, 2016
Jan 30, 2016 at 3:53 PM UTC
Voices, voices is all I hear
They tell me to come over here
I silently say no
Then they turn into crows
Nitpicking on my skin
Leaving marks of my sins
They laugh and laugh
Their laughters turns into wraths
They throw me against the wall
Feeding me pain like its a brawl
But I don't fight back
All my willpower were taken into a sack
The voices are winning
I am losing
Then you whispered into my ears
Saying to stop drowning in your tears
You lend me your hand
And said we'll fight the voices as we firmly stand
They're gone
Whistling to a mortifying song
You too, soon disappear
I start to fear
I try to feel my way out
But there's no way out
You stole the key
Closed me in the darkness
Taunting me, shoving me into the walls
My heart cracks and out he crawls
He lends his hand
I reached for it but it dissolved into sand
He fades away into my past
I'm free at last.
Sep 2, 2015
Sep 2, 2015 at 5:07 AM UTC
It's growling at me
With its emotionless eyes
As my fears grow, it starts to see
It's growling with all its lies
Black as the devil's soul
Creating a never endless pain
A dead wicked ghoul
Stuck like an unremovable stain
It taunts and laughs wickedly
It spitted out, "You're weak just like your mother."
I spatter out bitterly
But it doesn't seem to bother
Bickering, bickering for who's right
The lies connected my fate
No longer do I see the light
I'm no longer in the zone, going mentally insane
"Let me out!," I shrieked
But it smiled and escaped
I'm no longer within the breach
I'm all caged.
Sep 2, 2015
Sep 2, 2015 at 4:00 AM UTC
She is a chaotic mess
Who is a genius yet makes no complete sense
She is weak but willing to fight the war
She constantly asks herself, "How long and how far?"
How long until the storm ends?
When will her thoughts finally be her friend?
Because inside, it's a monstrosity and it's killing her with curiousity
Consumed in her chaos, in her little paradox.
Sep 2, 2015
Sep 2, 2015 at 3:48 AM UTC
Knowing what I did
I can't go on
I've killed myself
And watched
As I decay
Watched as the
Blood flowed
Watched as I
Died in pain
How do I live
If I'm already looking
At my own body
Apr 28, 2014
Apr 28, 2014 at 2:18 PM UTC
You told me that you were fine
But I knew you never said that
You'd always answer, "Wonderful!" or "Great!"
I knew the place you were at.
There was something in your mood
The way you held yourself
It was obvious that you were bothered
But what was behind feeling depressed?
I tried to go on as if I hadn't seen
That one look in your eye
But I couldn't act the happy way I do
When you looked like you wanted to cry.
I was afraid that you would start
To pour it all on me
But that was unhealthy, because I knew
I couldn't be your one and only.
I didn't want to pull away
You'd know and wonder why
Our connection and our friendship knew
The meaning of every sigh.
I couldn't ignore what was bothering you
This you couldn't outlive
So I just held you as you breathed
Knowing that was all I could give.
I'd seen your scars in the past
You'd told me what they were
But I knew there was something deeper within
That made you feel impure.
I wouldn't pursue the subject of your pain
That I knew was inflicted by you
I'd keep you in my prayers, and someday
You'll find a love that's true.
Apr 14, 2014
Apr 14, 2014 at 2:23 PM UTC