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#selfevaluation
when I say I want to run away please take me seriously when i say i feel alone please reassure me i am not lately I am trapped like a dog inside myself no love gets past this cage I don't deserve it anyways the voices yell and my doubt lends an ear when I joke this is it I'm going to leave!   simply tell me don't? please, stay awhile? Wake me up to the harsh reality that people care and I am not alone. when they show up for you, and you open the door isn't that all the reassurance you need? Tell me don't be silly and ask them to chase after you because it is only your doubt that will follow
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Sep 7, 2018
Sep 7, 2018 at 12:32 AM UTC
don't leave me be
One day. One day, there will be a rapture. There will be a mighty roar and the Earth will rebel against the sky And the floodgates of hell will open. One day, our lives so small against the dawn of life itself Breaks upon the night destruction and Death. One day all will be broken as we have broken the bread And our blood will stream into a mighty ocean That covers the sun forever Bringing Death in its wake and Death in its part One day the line between life and death will blur And all will be cast in the shadow of our own actions One day.
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Feb 6, 2020
Feb 6, 2020 at 2:14 PM UTC
One Day
This girl has a mask, trying her best to be great and different She own a lot of compliments from people, her happiness depend on it. And she loves attention more than cheetos
0
Feb 13, 2018
Feb 13, 2018 at 9:55 AM UTC
Who is she?
It's been a while since my heart first fluttered for you. and although (I hope) you'll never see these literary lines laid out for sake of my youthful embarrassment being whisked away I'm here with motives of sincere resolving. Boxes lined: | | beautiful | | forgiving | | purest heart of red I assume as usual that my reaches are always non-existent just as any romance thrown my way, but re-evaluation and stipulation are turning my blanks to realizations of life liberty and the pursuit of happiness your eyes still shine with golden flecks but the soul embroidered in the lining of your silouhette shines brighter than most..... so please stay permanent and don't let my impulsive writing scare you Blonde Haired Boy i do adore you. with open arms of friendship check-boxes |x| all of the above signed sincerely, lots of love
0
Oct 23, 2017
Oct 23, 2017 at 5:43 PM UTC
Prologue to the Blonde Haired Boy
You could learn a lot about yourself in a year, I know that's a cliche statement, A given if I should be so bold But it's something that I haven't thought about till the end, I learned that I have a tendency to hold onto things that won't hold me back in return, That I desperately want to love And that the lines you cast don't always lead to something at the moment, I learned that time doesn't heal all wounds And the truth is always the best policy even when it hurts, And it does. I learned that I have two ears and one mouth for a reason Speaking doesn't always have to take your lungs for it to send a message, and that words have volume, You have to listen to be a leader And I hate it when people in charge can't hear how wrong they are sometimes, You can learn a lot about yourself in a year, I learned that my freedom comes with a cost My love should never come with pre requisites And that my love tends to be acted out  rather then spoken, I learned that I don't like to be rushed But I enjoy being fast I go at my own pace even when every one else would rather walk with the crowd. I learned that acting drunk can make friends really quickly And that some people are intimidated by things they don't understand Do I scare you? I'm seventeen years old, My name is of Hebrew origin and means The Lord remembers Gilbert means bright promise And my middle name means maker of arrows I have lived  six thousand five hundred sixty eight days (at the time this was written) And while I've been alive I've truly been learning how to die, I lean on the side of danger and enjoy testing my boundaries. I've learned that the eyes are the window to the soul and if you follow someone's gaze it may reveal things you didn't want to know. I learned that monsters are scary because they are human and anyone is capable of evil I learned that I'm afraid of becoming somebody I'm not and losing the people I care about I've learned that you can also find miracles in the messes and but you have to look at the bad sometimes to see the good I don't like being the reason people are gone, and I would go to the four corners of this round world to gain the forgiveness of someone. I **** at math I have a short attention span and I like to focus on things that aren't noticed most of the time. Like that wall over there I've learned that moments are worth more than gold Everything happens for a reason Love is irrational I need to keep my friends close because time moves quickly Keep your eyes open Forgiveness is hard but so is accepting your wrong I've learned to not believe in coincidences, I've learned that it's not my place  to judge others and every good gift and perfect gift is from above Friends are the reason you can't have nice things And the truth always comes out now matter how much you try to hide it I've learned how to say just enough that it won't get me in trouble Scars are tattoos with better stories I guess you could say I'm tatted I've learned a lot in a year A week is full of treasures Friends are every where you just have to look And you are friends of mine You could learn a lot in a year I know it's a cliche statement I've been bold enough to say so
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Jan 8, 2016
Jan 8, 2016 at 11:59 PM UTC
What I've learned
You could learn a lot about yourself in a year, I know that's a cliche statement, A given if I should be so bold But it's something that I haven't thought about till the end, I learned that I have a tendency to hold onto things that won't hold me back in return, That I desperately want to love And that the lines you cast don't always lead to something at the moment, I learned that time doesn't heal all wounds And the truth is always the best policy even when it hurts, And it does. I learned that I have two ears and one mouth for a reason Speaking doesn't always have to take your lungs for it to send a message, and that words have volume, You have to listen to be a leader And I hate it when people in charge can't hear how wrong they are sometimes, You can learn a lot about yourself in a year, I learned that my freedom comes with a cost My love should never come with pre requisites And that my love tends to be acted out  rather then spoken, I learned that I don't like to be rushed But I enjoy being fast I go at my own pace even when every one else would rather walk with the crowd. I learned that acting drunk can make friends really quickly And that some people are intimidated by things they don't understand Do I scare you? I'm seventeen years old, My name is of Hebrew origin and means The Lord remembers Gilbert means bright promise And my middle name means maker of arrows I have lived  six thousand five hundred sixty eight days (at the time this was written) And while I've been alive I've truly been learning how to die, I lean on the side of danger and enjoy testing my boundaries. I've learned that the eyes are the window to the soul and if you follow someone's gaze it may reveal things you didn't want to know. I learned that monsters are scary because they are human and anyone is capable of evil I learned that I'm afraid of becoming somebody I'm not and losing the people I care about I've learned that you can also find miracles in the messes and but you have to look at the bad sometimes to see the good I don't like being the reason people are gone, and I would go to the four corners of this round world to gain the forgiveness of someone. I **** at math I have a short attention span and I like to focus on things that aren't noticed most of the time. Like that wall over there I've learned that moments are worth more than gold Everything happens for a reason Love is irrational I need to keep my friends close because time moves quickly Keep your eyes open Forgiveness is hard but so is accepting your wrong I've learned to not believe in coincidences, I've learned that it's not my place  to judge others and every good gift and perfect gift is from above Friends are the reason you can't have nice things And the truth always comes out now matter how much you try to hide it I've learned how to say just enough that it won't get me in trouble Scars are tattoos with better stories I guess you could say I'm tatted I've learned a lot in a year A week is full of treasures Friends are every where you just have to look And you are friends of mine You could learn a lot in a year I know it's a cliche statement I've been bold enough to say so
Continue reading...
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Dear Me, You're a liar... A fraud... A fake... You think that words can always fix what it is you have done not thinking about the affect your words have. Was there ever a time you stuck to your word...? I didnt think so... Tell me this, You have said you will be there, that you will never leave... So what was this morning? What was last night or the morning before? How can you sit there and tell yourself AND HER that you wont leave, that youre there when we all know youre not... You left this morning, you broke her, you ruined her mood, her day... you left How does that make you feel? You said you would stay with her till she slept but at 1 you gave in when you recieved no replies...her internet had died and she stayed for you...she stayed till 5...but you left You are a liar... Can you forgive yourself? Cause I dont Sincerely... me
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Jun 10, 2015
Jun 10, 2015 at 6:29 PM UTC
Dear Me #2
A brush to stroke my oil paints, **layer upon layer of saturated color** it never dries, for I never wait. because art is never finished! ...and maybe that isn't true, I just know my own accounts of what I go through: //////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////// **I never seem to get the product to match the painting inside my head.** I keep painting... keep stroking, long after everyone I know might as well be dead. I try to force my vision out of my head. But it is so perfect and the canvas hardly yields a picture that is worth it, so I paint words and sounds instead.
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Nov 29, 2014
Nov 29, 2014 at 7:27 PM UTC
My Obsessive Compulsion To Create
She’s walking this lonely road Her passion turns to coal The madness is taking over The love thing is getting old Her heart starts to shatter As her truth start to unfold Never realize she was selling her youth For her gold Her tattoos match her personality They tell her they love her but here comes reality She’s a *** she’s a **** she’s a masterpiece   But Picasso couldn’t live to stroke that catastrophe -jeffrey A
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Oct 13, 2014
Oct 13, 2014 at 9:31 PM UTC
lost girl