#selfdoubts
My heart stopped at
an early age.
When i started thinking,
What i can be?
Will they like it?
Will they like me?
My own voice got lost,
in the noise of others.
My soul was singing in symphonies,
which my mind cant compose.
No one called out my name.
Neither do I.
It took me a long time ,
to listen to my inner songs,
calling out my name.
It was a moment of epiphany,
Which warmed my cold heart,
Stirred my soul.
And elated me above my fears and scars.
My MISTAKES and ME from my yesterday,
My SCARS and ME from today,
And the WISER ME from tomorrow
are now making up the brightest stars
in the constellation of my life.
Sep 28, 2018
Sep 28, 2018 at 9:55 AM UTC
Do they think I am ugly?
Do they feel I am dumb?
Am I hopeless? Am I stupid?
Am I worthless? Am I ****
Do they even like me?
Or are they just being nice
Questions like these
Went daily through my mind
I acted like I ain’t afraid of anything
Like I am just being myself
Though inside I felt miserable
Like a cobweb on a shelf
On this very face of mine
I have put masks for years
Hiding all my insecurities
Hiding all my fears
I pretended to be
Someone I am not
A girl who looks pretty
A girl they think is hot
I kept putting on these masks
Till they became a part of me
As slowly and gradually
They grew to reality
But lately I realized
I was losing my soul
Living in a fake world
Growing up a hole
I didn’t have any idea
Who I actually was
When I came to terms with that
The masks began to fall
And as the masks fell one by one
There was a different girl underneath
A girl who could face her demons
And believe in herself
This was a journey with many hills
And sometimes it was ok to be in a valley
A mask may help to’ fake it ‘til you make it’
Until you start living your own poetry
May 23, 2018
May 23, 2018 at 5:27 AM UTC
catch me, catch me as i flee
cause i wont stop running
till i'm free
grab my head
and shove it down
make me beg till i drown
beat me, beat me till i bleed
don't stop swinging
until you break my creed
tear every shred
of humanity in me
till i beg for your mercy
cage me, cage me for i am not free
i am not the man
i used to be
i am broken and ruined
chained down
for being rotten
abandoned my faith
filled with hate
and my soul is stained
answer me, answer me please
can i hope for redemption
and return as one of your creation
Sep 26, 2015
Sep 26, 2015 at 1:32 PM UTC