#self-help
Where would you go,
Stopping I am not,
Go if you want to go,
Remembering me you are not,
As I'm not interested,
Wishing you quicker recovery,
Wherever you'll fall,
Caring I am not,
Just go if you wanna go.
Because lonelier you left me here,
You better need not to come ever,
I have earlier survived alone as well,
You weren't here near my deathlike bed,
There had been both of my parents,
Only expecting me as a robot in return,
And I found you absent when I needed,
Oh this is only the revelation of my life,
Such a fool I expected you to be my wife.
Now I can imagine what I was spared from,
I was spared from the splitter-splatter stuff,
And of course the kitchen's blitter-blatter bluff,
Because I am sure that I can prepare better food,
Much better than your fickle-minded self could,
Lovelier is my hand's company to my big head,
I imagine stuff and fantasize howsoever it feels fit,
And of course, I don't need your help for that,
I just go fap-fap, splitter-splatter & blitter-blatter.
Oct 24, 2016
Oct 24, 2016 at 5:34 AM UTC
Kindness
It is not hard to get lost in your own self-deprecation,
But this is easily remedied by re-evaluating the situation.
See your woes from the prospective of those causing you anguish,
And ask yourself, what has happened to them to make them so selfish?
Abolish Blame & adopt generosity of heart,
You’ll start to see a small act of Kindness is a good way to start,
Then adapt this gesture to reach out to others,
To strangers, friends, your sisters & your brothers.
By choosing to act in kindness and not with a selfish attitude,
You’ll feel your spirit lift & with it flies your selfish outlook and your low mood,
Your eyes will start to shine from helping another soul,
Because you simply stop thinking about you, and focus on all other individuals.
So, Be Kind, be brave, be honest & true,
and if you know your morals are good, you will certainly bring out the best of you.
Learn to love life and care for all living things you find,
Because the secret to happiness is simple, you only have to be kind.
May 28, 2016
May 28, 2016 at 6:07 AM UTC
Across lands of verdure and light, water and men,
Walked a young Lowyatar, and fear she induced,
Turned clouded and opaque, the arid sky,
As she blindly and slowly walked on and on and on- by and by,
Blackened promontories rose in seas around,
To the north, the west, the east and the south,
What her dry fingers touched deprived of life itself.
Blind daughter of death; blind daughter of Tuoni,
Sister in blood of Lemminkäinen's killer, sister of Tuoen Poika.
Unloved and untouched, Lowyatar weeped and searched,
Abandoned by her death-bringing family.
From cracked and dried and distraught lips she cried,
"Ukko, O Ukko, save me from myself, I beg of thee,
With what's left of my life, my passion, my love
I know only pain I know only death, I see nothing.
O Ukko, I wander hither and thither, northward and westward
O Ukko, I wander thither and hither, southward and eastward
Searching for acceptance and vivid color and life.
O Ukko, save me from myself and my name!"
Lonely is the young girl, priestess of plague, goddess of famine,
Alone for life, her eyes blurred with salt and water,
A twitch in a corner of her mouth, another twitch.
Love thyself, and thyself can achieve greatness,
Greatness through experience, through knowledge prior.
Yellowed and ground teeth emerge behind cracked lips,
Lowyatar, goddess of plague, whispers to Ukko,
"Ukko O Ukko, I have motive and purpose,"
An old oak tree withered and turned grey at her fingertips,
Towns, once merry and full of love, died as she passed them by.
Wars waged on, fighting for what's left of love and light,
Death of brothers and fathers, feeding the mighty Tursas,
Born again from the scent of blood on the dry ground,
Who rose from the dying sea to feed upon the victims war.
Across lands bereft of verdure, dead and broken,
Men and women and children sobbed in Lowyatar's wake,
Men and women and children bowed in Lowyatar's presence.
Lowyatar stood triumphant over dying lands,
Once a sobbing child, now queen of the earth,
Pale face hidden by black and matted hair,
She opened her eyes to see the world for the first time,
Across her face twitched a smile, then with a laugh she says:
"So created. So destroyed. Behold, god I am!"
May 5, 2016
May 5, 2016 at 9:37 PM UTC
tell yourself you are fine i know you’re lying
start becoming a positive force in someone else’s life
because you know you cannot be your own.
when she calls tell her you’re the happiest you’ve ever been
she was the one holding you back,
you did not know what unhealthy relationships were until
her.
the one who told you everything she could never possibly love about you
and how you needed to change yourself
for her.
not because you needed to get better
not because you knew you weren’t happy
because she couldn’t see you sad and **** you at the same time.
because when you cried she didn’t know how to say sorry,
for the times she said your favorite poet was stupid
for the times she rolled her eyes at something you said,
for the times she ignored you for somebody else
it’s your fault remember,
if you weren’t like this everything would be fine.
because some weeks were good
you felt like everything had fallen into place,
you were happy and she loved you again,
then that week would be over,
you were sad again,
if you weren’t like this everything would be fine
but
you wouldn’t change yourself for love.
that was your problem
she was not a good enough reason to be happy,
because you saw her more as a therapist
than as your girlfriend.
and she saw you as a project,
one she could never finish.
you knew you were more than a project,
you wanted to be happy
but there was no reason to be.
not even love was enough.
but then you learned it never can be,
because if another person is the only reason you want to be able
to breathe in the summer air,
laugh until your lungs hurt,
and cry happy tears,
you want to get better for the wrong reasons.
Feb 21, 2016
Feb 21, 2016 at 10:53 AM UTC
I don’t always want
To hit a home run
But I always want
To be in the game.
I don’t always need
To be the big star
But it’s nice if they all
Remember your name.
You can’t make a touchdown
Every time you play the game.
But, suit up and show up
You’ll be glad you came.
I know I have blown it
More than once before
But that is the reason
We have for keeping score.
We add up the averages
And when I do the math
I find trying my best
Is taking the right path.
It does no good to give up
Without even the one try.
You prove to yourself
You’re a ‘go for it’ guy!
If you think this is rah-rah
You are absolutely right.
What good is getting beaten
Without even a fight?
If you think this is a metaphor
You are correct once again.
How can you win the race
If you never even begin?
You can’t make a touchdown
Every time you play the game.
But, suit up and show up
You’ll be glad you came.
It does no good to give up
Without even the one try.
You prove to yourself
You’re a ‘go for it’ guy!
Jan 25, 2016
Jan 25, 2016 at 3:41 PM UTC
When you’ve had enough
Of maniacs and hustlers,
Of fakes and phonies
And smooth talking hucksters
It’s time to pull back
And sort through the weeds
To find the flowers
And see what you need.
Not what you want,
That’s something different.
If your needs aren’t met
Life can get belligerent.
You need breath and water
And some other great stuff
Or you stop living a lot
And that is rather rough.
Once we move from needs
The rest are all your wants
And you can live without them
Despite all your rowdy taunts.
How many times have you heard
I need coffee when I wake up?
That is a case of your want
That comes in a handy cup.
Or, I need to buy cigarettes
But that isn’t really true.
You don’t think you’ll die without
I mean, not really, do you?
Or, I need some ice cream now
Or a cruller or two or three.
That doesn’t sound fatal
Unless you do that daily.
So, the best thing you can do
For your one and only body
Is to try your best to keep
The thing from getting shoddy
By separating the things
That your body best deserves
And realize that ignoring wants
Does nothing but get on nerves.
With that clearing of your head
And setting of new priorities
The Big Things of the day
Turn into pesky minorities.
Suddenly you see that you
Can choose who to ignore
And then see what you need
And need for nothing more.
Jan 20, 2016
Jan 20, 2016 at 11:36 PM UTC
I'm getting up, out of bed
I'm staying hydrated, letting sadness leave my head.
I started paying closer attention to my health
I started seeing value in mental wealth.
I'm initiating change
I'm feeling good, that's strange.
I think my life's super bright and,
I think I'm taking my future by the hand.
Whoa.
Is this what it feels like, to recover from depression?
I could get used to this.
Jan 15, 2016
Jan 15, 2016 at 2:08 AM UTC
**If you asked me where my life was a year ago, it’d probably come as a shock when I said I was looking for death in a ******* fueled euphoria at endless parties, hoping every person who asked, “Are you okay?” would save me from myself.
If you asked where my life was a year ago, I would say that a lot of days were hazy because Xanax was the best way to forgive and forget, and at that point, my body hurt without it.
If you asked me where I was a year ago, I would tell stories of how I left my abusive boyfriend just to become my own abuser, and how I left far more marks and scars on myself than he ever did.
If you asked me where I was a year ago, I’d mention how heartbroken I was and how badly I searched for love at the bottom of endless liquor bottles, and how I never quite stayed awake long enough to see if even a glimmer of love was there.
If you asked me where I was a year ago, I’d tell you I spent a week or two very sick trying to get the drugs out of my system so I could see the sadness in my parent’s eyes disappear when they looked at me.
If you asked me where I was a year ago, I’d tell you that my mental health dilapidated, and that I spent a night swallowing pills until it landed me in the hospital. I’d tell you that I unfortunately didn’t meet death that night and mourned over the loss of my sanity and what could’ve been.
Now, if you ask me how I am today, I’ll tell you that I still get very sad, and there are still days I want to die; However, I’ll also say that I am clean, and my parents are proud, and I found very healthy love, and I found myself. I’ll say that I realize the gasp of air you get when you finally come up from drowning is the best feeling, and things get a bit brighter.**
Jan 2, 2016
Jan 2, 2016 at 3:50 AM UTC
i have fallen so hard
i have hit rock bottom
i have been on a spiral that takes me only downwards
i have been invisible, for as long as i can remember
i have isolated my soul
i have tried to let myself give up
i have stayed six-feet underground, mentally
i have been choked with despair
i have been swallowed by nerves
i have been consumed by fear, my mind and body withering
i have been torn into pieces, paper thin
i have been ripped off my opinion, my bones crying to be heard
i have been broken down into tiny fragments, each embedded on paper
i have left my thoughts everywhere;
in people, in books, in songs, in journals, in the rain,
but here i am-
i am on my way upwards
i am collecting the bits and pieces, i will not try to connect them
i am carving my path towards my dreams
i am being heard, i am a voice worth listening to
i am a part of someone
i am a part of something
i am growing
i am accepting
i am learning
my mind will be reborn, my body and soul surrendered to faith
my thoughts untangled, my feelings splattered like paint
my spirit is no longer blank-
i am no longer a hole, i am whole.
Oct 24, 2015
Oct 24, 2015 at 1:04 PM UTC
I look through my window,
When the day falls asleep,
And silence prevails on the busy city.
Then the night turns restless.
I look through my window,
And wonder of the secrets...
The world beholds in its heart.
And could hear the sounds of adventure.
I look through my window,
And find myself into deep blue sea;
Standing on a peak amongst the clouds;
In a quest to discover the undiscovered.
I look through my window,
To return to the reality of life.
I go to sleep with the hope...
To fly off the window, one night.
Oct 23, 2015
Oct 23, 2015 at 5:45 AM UTC
To love life, a gift from Creation
Is a duty we too easily forget
Misunderstood is the wonder
Lost in suffering, is the gratitude
But friendship with life, is so
Essential to finding beauty
Learning like a child, so fundamental
In our ability to appreciate circumstance
And paramount, in the capacity
Of limited creatures to choose free-will
And exercise their soul, in blossoms
Of experience, in honest affections
In pure becoming, that’s the philosophy
No trials can censure love out
There are these holy attractors
These metaphysical magnets of bliss
They are quantum fuel for the sensitive
Not only to be sensitive to suffering
But sensitive to virtue, open to kindness
Giving and receiving, without judgement
Participating in harmony spontaneously
God knows you are apt to enjoy suffering
But to make it a habit would be an absurdity
Make love the habit you base your life upon
To walk a golden path with a smile
To find your dreams on a sunlit assertion
That your life is what you believe it can be:
Life is a perception of how you reinforce the positive.
Oct 27, 2014
Oct 27, 2014 at 7:22 PM UTC
I may not have the perfect body,
Or a simple mind,
But someone thinks I'm beautiful,
Sensitive and kind.
They recognize the pain I hide,
I never have to share it,
For he already knows,
All the reasons that I have,
For feeling terribly low.
What, after all, is perfection?
A simple question of shape, style and complexion?
A vanity deep inside of everyone?
Seemingly the option would be to walk away,
No-one ever does, they will always stay,
In this endless circle of misery,
Cementing it, creating awful history.
I know otherwise just what perfection is,
It's the same in my eyes as in his,
Not what we wear or how we look,
We're changing the writing in the history book.
For perfection is quite simple,
Really, it's very achievable,
For you may not be skeletal,
He will still think you're beautiful,
You may be unstable,
And stuck with a label,
But he won't care as long as you're able.
To love without question,
Support his dreams,
In turn he will love you,
And sew up the seams,
Of your broken soul and tormented mind,
He'll help you release,
All of your kindness,
Your sensitive side,
He'll take away the blindness.
He'll allow you to see,
Exactly who you are,
That to him, you are perfection,
His beautiful shining star.
Copyright© 2014 Jasmine Bryony Holmes
All rights reserved.
Oct 18, 2014
Oct 18, 2014 at 9:22 AM UTC