#sedative
_sensitive content_
I'm gonna get myself into trouble one of these days
I thought I wanted drinks
Maybe I want pills
I've always been drawn to anything that'll make my head foggy
Pull thick clouds into my mind
Slow my racing heart
Numb my body
I don't always get that
I have my various ways
I could easily ruin my life with drugs
It's enticing
Something better than having to live
Not without its own pains
But at least sometimes they'd go away
And it's then that I find myself
Wrapped in a foggy bliss
Nearly unable to move
Can't think
Barely breathing
And that's how I like it
I almost thought I'd die
The thought didn't seem to bother me
Not with my system flooded
With whatever it is I've decided to take
No... there's a kind of peace in deciding
You have nothing left to lose
Jan 26, 2021
Jan 26, 2021 at 8:41 PM UTC
You wanted me to “feel better”
I do feel better
After popping a few pills
It’s not Xanax, but it’ll do
I feel it slowing me down...
My eyelids grow heavy......
Why am I always wondering
What’s my limit?
What happens if I take a few more....?
I know... I know I just want to abuse something
And if it’s myself, even better
Mar 19, 2020
Mar 19, 2020 at 2:56 AM UTC
I feel dangerous
Hatred, anger, adrenaline
Racing through me
Maybe I’ll take some pills
And have a drink
Just for fun
Let’s see.
Mar 16, 2020
Mar 16, 2020 at 1:12 AM UTC
It’s funny how quickly
You can swallow pills
I wondering how daring I could be
How many before I sleep
I can feel them in my limbs
The looseness off my arms
Weight of my eyelids...
But it’s not enough
I’m not numb enough yet
I’m still awake
Put me to sleep
I don’t wanna be awake
I DON’T WANT TO BE AWAKE
They kept me from my knife
Little white pills won over metal
Cause I can’t remember what was wrong
Idk why I was upset
But idk
Maybe I’ll just cut myself anyway
Just to ******* feel it
Maybe I just want to
Maybe I just want to bleed
Maybe I’ll just take one more....
Then watch me bleed
Dec 16, 2019
Dec 16, 2019 at 1:32 AM UTC
I just took so many drugs
I hope they make me ill
I hope they make me sleep
Just... just let me drift away
I’ll be someone else
She said I could take another...
Why do want to keep taking more...
Dec 12, 2019
Dec 12, 2019 at 12:23 AM UTC
Dig your claws in me
While I lay imagining
What it is you see in me.
I’ll just wait til the morning.
Feel you empty me.
Guess that means that I fell flat.
Would you even tell me that?
I don’t know how much time has passed.
Hindsight stares at me,
As I stare into the night,
Breathe in unpleasant delights.
Just the thoughts make my skin crawl.
Replay all your words,
But there’s no way to take them back.
You tell white lies to black cats.
How many lives do I have have left?
I want to scream into the silence.
Repel your touch but I’m compliant.
I want to hate you but I’m biased.
No sedative.
Aug 20, 2018
Aug 20, 2018 at 4:19 PM UTC