#schitzophrenia
A constant rumble has found itself trapped in the back of your thoughts.
To you,
This is normal.
They've always been there,
The voices,
But now they're growing louder.
You can hear their words.
They can show you things.
Things no one can see
Things that aren't really there
And you listen
You follow his orders
He's the one in charge, right?
"Take the pills,
Grab the knife,
Bite the gun."
Do not question him.
The others become angry
They tell you what you really are.
"A waste,
A disappointment,
Useless."
And so you listen.
You're lead to the bathroom
Where the screams crack mirrors
And your ears will bleed.
"Taste gunpowder...
You will free them,
They will be happier."
One shot is heard.
Then a laugh.
He has won
Again.
And a new voice is heard in the crowd.
Mar 30, 2015
Mar 30, 2015 at 5:01 PM UTC
I DONT WANT PEOPLE
TO THINK
THEY HAVE TO
DEAL WITH ME
JUST BECAUSE
YOU ARE MY FRIEND
I UNDERSTAND
YOU WANT TO HELP
BUT YOU ******* CANT
AND THATS ALRIGHT.
I CANNOT HELP FEELING LIKE THIS.
DO NOT FEEL USELESS
WHEN I AM;
BREAKING DOWN
AND ALL YOU CAN SAY IS
‘Its going to be okay’
BECAUSE THATS ALL
YOU CAN DO,
ENCOURAGING WORDS
ARE ENOUGH;
YOU ARE TRYING
TO HELP.
I DONT WANT
TO BE YOUR PROBLEM
IM NOT ANYONES PROBLEM
BUT MY OWN
.
I DONT WANT PEOPLE
TO FEEL
WORTHLESS
JUST BECAUSE;
THE CHEMICALS
IN MY BRAIN,
ARE NOT RIGHT;
OR IM JUST HAVING
A BAD DAY,
AND I NEED SOMETHING
TO TAKE MY MIND
OFF THINGS.
SOMETHING TO EASE
THE FEELING.
DONT SAY SORRY
THAT YOU CANNOT FIX ME;
AS YOU WATCH ME
INHALE CIGARETTE SMOKE,
FILLING MY LUNGS
WITH POISON THAT
NUMBS MY BRAIN
FOR A WHILE.
IM SORRY
IM SO COMPLICATED,
IM SORRY IM NOT OKAY
(I’m sorry I’m shouting)
BUT THIS IS HOW
MY MIND SOUNDS,
ALL THE TIME
AND
I CANNOT FIND QUIET;
EVEN IN THE DARK CORNERS
THE CRACKS OF MY SKULL
AND THE CREVICES
OF MY BRAIN
Apr 28, 2014
Apr 28, 2014 at 5:42 PM UTC