#scatology
Are you ever so full of it
That you need to flush
Halfway through a dump?
That's where we are with Trump.
Mar 27, 2019
Mar 27, 2019 at 9:38 AM UTC
I take umbrage
At comparing
The POTUS
To a lying piece of crap.
I've experienced crap, lots of it!
Usually brown, with no comb-over.
So POTUS **** is an unfair analogy.
Now, a moniker like
Faeces Face fits,
And stinks to the high heavens.
Nov 17, 2018
Nov 17, 2018 at 2:31 PM UTC
I've used them on my windows
To see the clear outside,
If I read the Op-eds,
I shudder, shuttered and hide.
I've spread them 'neath my plates and cups,
My shelves all neat and tidy;
But the headlines made it clear to me
My glass is more half empty.
They had a place in the litter box
For **** to scratch and squat;
I laid them round my garden plants,
They made fine insect traps.
Rolled and twirled they'd start a fire,
I could fold them into hats.
They cleaned the grease from BBQs,
And they're safe to pick up glass.
Crumple them for packaging,
They work as school book covers;
Add water and some flour,
To shape papier mache lovers.
Fold seeds in them to germinate,
Then use them for compost;
There's many ways to employ
Your Times and local Post.
But I won't subscribe to Dailies
For the felling of our trees;
And yet I miss my papers,
And the ways they worked for me.
But when enthroned,
You'll hear me grouse,
*There's no **** paper in this *********
My cell works well to scroll and swipe,
But it's only good for a virtual wipe.
Sep 15, 2018
Sep 15, 2018 at 12:49 PM UTC
Every Easter
I get the flu;
All my systems
Are shutting down;
Everything exits
Chocolate brown.
Apr 5, 2015
Apr 5, 2015 at 10:01 AM UTC
Chocolate in,
Chocolate out;
Eating chocolate
Makes me doubt
The lease I have
With Hershey.
But I'm not
In a hurry,
I'll sit here
And not worry.
I'll give a wipe
Then scurry
For another bar.
But my gut's feeling's
I won't get far.
Apr 2, 2015
Apr 2, 2015 at 8:03 AM UTC