#sales
Every morning starts with great excitement,
A salesperson's heart, strong and vibrant.
With motivation burning bright, they hit the floor,
Hoping to close deals and always want more.
Pitch after pitch, they stand tall,
Facing rejections, but they won't fall.
Each "no" just makes them fight,
Determined to turn it into light.
Honesty in every word they say,
From their heart, they lead the way.
Adaptable, they face every storm,
Confidence is their everyday norm.
Through countless calls, they keep on,
Never giving up, always going strong.
Listening closely to hopes and fears,
They understand customers through the years.
With empathy as their guiding star,
They help buyers, no matter how far.
In every chat, they share a part,
A piece of their caring heart.
In the world of numbers, they find their beat,
A good pipeline makes their journey sweet.
Each lead is a treasure, shining bright,
In this endless chase, they find their light.
So here’s to the art of selling well,
A mix of talent and skills that excel.
In understanding, they find their grace,
And bring a smile to each customer’s face.
By
Sanji-Paul Arvind
Jun 20, 2025
Jun 20, 2025 at 4:08 AM UTC
Will she, won’t she
buy my Christmas wares:
If I work to sell me
will she take my snare?
The practiced pitter-patter
of my seller’s pitch
hangs in crisp cold air
and hopes to scratch her itch.
Her eyes dart to and fro
from one stall to the next:
the jingling coins’ fickle flow,
Christmas bells that leave me vexed.
Will she, won’t she,
see this heart that beats?
What if I add it free
to the sale of these sweetmeats?
Each moment wisps of tinsel
a-flutter in icy gales:
I fear her dismissal
as I grasp at just one more sale.
A spark of insight melts the ice
in a tiny warming breeze:
It’s not my wares I price,
but what I’m truly selling’s me.
Dec 17, 2024
Dec 17, 2024 at 6:16 PM UTC
Already back in class.
Wow, the Holidays went fast.
Wasn’t Black Friday great?
‘Bargains,’ make my heart race
and the Internet’s my kind of place.
I can dead-on shop this time of year,
shamelessly, without the fear
that someone will be judging me.
I make some ‘passing effort’ to be frugal,
that’s what ‘black Friday’ sales are for—and google.
I bought my suitemates those techie gifts, to guarantee,
that they’ll meet with their approval.
.
.
A Christmas playlist for this:
https://daweb.us/xmas/Christmas_21.mp3
Dec 2, 2024
Dec 2, 2024 at 1:10 PM UTC
Change Time
Do some reps miss the selling?
When they’re between call centre jobs
Not able to close a sale for B2B
Or get a Sirius XM radio upgrade
What of reps doing tech support
Fixing broken TVs and infra-red heaters
Same **** different shift on and on
Dial dial inbound joy call queuing
Sup call where’s your TL?
They’re MIA having a secret smoke
While the reps struggle on
This shift the same as before
Nothing new to learn here
They don’t wanna report in
But must or get sanctioned
They dream of a sales job
Actually being good at it
Getting top box metrix and sales
Walking with pride enjoying work
Looking forward to each shift
Not like tech support Hell!
Time for a change
Aug 20, 2024
Aug 20, 2024 at 11:11 PM UTC
Kookie
The job got really kookie
2 almost sales in a day
Both failed at the VT stage
1 was the wrong business name
Plus a scheduled meeting
1 was a customer sick of holding
Who chatted with his pal
The calls added to a prior 1
This cx wanted the service
On a future date not today
Call me back in a week
2 sales that never were
A 3rd if the cx still agrees
After checking 48 rivals
VOIP service is fierce
Getting sales is gold dust
Another day of bad juju
Tomorrow will be different
Will tomorrow soon come?
Aug 20, 2024
Aug 20, 2024 at 11:09 PM UTC
Bangkok Beasting
The Fake God is there with the other bosses
All having a powwow to decide what to do
We are dragged in there and lectured hard
The client wants more sales as do I
This you must do for June July and beyond
The target is 130 and you’ve just 18
You need a 1200 percent increase
Can you do this in 2 weeks yes or no?
I said yes but if we don’t we are all ******
The client can pull out in September
Instead of renewing the contract
The Fake God said Brian you remember
Yes Boss I remember a year ago
We got the contract and must again
I don’t wanna be part of a failure
The other boss said the client can
Bill us 2 months higher rates if we fail
Do I move the account elsewhere?
The real boss asked in another beasting
As much as I dislike Fake God’s attitude
I respect his sales skills and drive
The ****** will take us all to Hell
The real boss will observe us all
Away we go in this B2B **** up
It certainly gave Brian writing material
Tho he wished he was still in Manila
And not being beasted in Bangkok
Aug 20, 2024
Aug 20, 2024 at 11:05 PM UTC
bad tl
a certain team leader/was obsessed with cash/bumping up his metric/any which was he could/legal or borderline illegal/the tales of his was known/he did it in six centres/greed and metric manipulation/not a good example of a good sup/when you meet this snake/watch him closely/he has no conscience/is good at his job/manipulating people and the system/see the car he drives/wears different trainers each day/i'd rather have nothing/than be like him
Aug 20, 2024
Aug 20, 2024 at 10:50 PM UTC
Freebies
Look how happy the reps are
Eating the free pizza
Given by the client
Some reps have 1 piece
Another ate 16 pieces
Talk about greedy!
Free coffee was given
As only coffee went with pizza
On a call centre night shift
Plus Pepsi cold 2 litres
Wish it was drink all you can
Don’t be selfish now!
Think of your team mates
You're on the account together
Nobody will be left behind
Or so they say in training
When nesting is passed
And production starts
It's obvious who makes it
Right now enjoy the free pizza
Given by the client
The new reps are happy
Will it soon change?
Aug 20, 2024
Aug 20, 2024 at 10:48 PM UTC
28 Users
It was only the 2nd work day of the month
He had exceeded the monthly sales targets
In just 2 days it broke all records
He got a 3 user sale on day 1
And on day 2 he got a 25 user sale!
The biggest user count in the account
It was like is this real?
Now he wanted more success...
Aug 20, 2024
Aug 20, 2024 at 12:46 AM UTC
Metallica Calls
The guy listens to Metallica online while taking calls off customers
His TL knows of this and lets him do it for the rep gets good sales
Each and every day 4 or more sales earning a nice incentive
Rewards and Recognition days are a breeze he sells the items
Coffee makers toasters microwaves rice cookers fridges etc
He could have his own kitchen wares distribution company
All due to top metrix while listening to Metallica online
Aug 20, 2024
Aug 20, 2024 at 12:44 AM UTC
Lick Not Bite
Where is the sale?
Hiding in the sky
Quick reach up
Get the sale now!
Poor agents no sale
Time for a meeting
Then coaching session
And call monitoring
Are they following?
Teach them then
Spoon feed them
So they get more sales
Aren’t outlying agents
With 0 or just 1 sale
With 7 or 8 or more
Poor little reps
Always stressed on calls
Pushed to extremes
Sales account joy!
Aug 19, 2024
Aug 19, 2024 at 9:23 AM UTC
NTE Yourself!
NTEs were given out each month
To the reps with low or no sales
In time there were no reps on the account
The Fake God was left alone
Just him and his support to call
They each wanted two fifty k a month
To do the work of ten reps
It was physically impossible
But they went for it and failed
Would they give NTEs to themselves?
Aug 19, 2024
Aug 19, 2024 at 9:21 AM UTC
Big Fat 0
The rep ended the year with 0 sales
There were 10 selling reps in total
9 got sales and 1 didn’t get any
The other 9 got between 1 and 11
Number 10 rep was pegged at 0
He got 7 sales in October
And 5 in November but before then
Both August and September were 0
Why are the rep’s sales up and down?
He doesn’t know and does his best
He would have 2 or 3 but they VT failed
Verification Team issues out of his hands
He will try to close his Dec ones in Jan
He’s determined never to be bottom with 0 again
Aug 19, 2024
Aug 19, 2024 at 9:08 AM UTC
Managers’ Monday
The agents dial the leads and opportunities to try to get sales
One rep has 77 manual dials and no more
Another had 47 manual dials plus 340 outbound dials
Others have similar numbers none under 200
The 88 rep got beasted off his sup for laziness
And was made to promise to step up and do more calls
Each agent had to count then report the call numbers
The TL added them to a data sheet to review
And pass it to the Managers who managed all this crap
Their TL had to explain the discrepancy in call numbers
Each agent knew it was a futile childish process
The bosses all had access to the agents’ diallers
All they had to do was filter and tally the calls
The agents grumbled it was a stupid pointless act
Did they know the bosses were testing them?
To see how they would react under pressure
And having to deal with stupid pointless orders
Which were all recorded real time on the system?
The bosses liked games and numbers so were fine
With this little exercise that highlighted one lazy rep
He would be triple beasted and fired if he did it again
It was Managers’ Monday and all deliberate
Aug 19, 2024
Aug 19, 2024 at 9:00 AM UTC
Power Mad
The power mad manager threatened to fire the worker
Who made a customer’s account so he could get the sale
This never happened for the manager saw it happen
Cancelled the new account almost fired the worker
Never said well done for using initiative or adeptness
He was power tripping made an example of him
Nobody will create a new account without my Yes!
Even if it slows the sales process down to half
I will make the account send me the details
I hope you all learned a lesson here or else
Lose your jobs for I’m in charge ok?
Aug 19, 2024
Aug 19, 2024 at 8:50 AM UTC
Kaput Scripted
The top boss carved the account up some more
He put in place an extra step so no duplicate accounts were made
This was fine in the managers’ eyes an extra layer of a layer
And it created work for a back office guy making those accounts
It was his job to do it not the call centre agents
If they made a new account they got beasted and fired
It was easy to create a new account yet full of risk
Send the details to your TL and then in the form
So back office has it and will make the account
The account will be made and sent to your TL
Who will reassign it to the rep that made the call
No double accounts no confusion yet more stress
Adding to the wait time while the rep does compliance
Completes a needs assessment vets the customer
Sends a promo approval to his TL who sends it
To the manager who sends it to the client
All the while the patient customer holds like a fool
When all this is done and the account is sent over
The closer calls the VT team who complete the sale
If the DM has funds on a working card all is fine
If any step fails the whole thing collapses
What a nice time for me to be endorsed
To a different version of my old healthcare account
No more sales on a failing B2B account
Aug 19, 2024
Aug 19, 2024 at 8:47 AM UTC
That Crap
Same old **** on the account
Divide and conqueror defeated in battle
Wait till the account folds
Client pulls it out we can't wait!
All reps reassigned or leave
Something better than this
We are not made for this moment
We deserve better will be greater
Unless you want us to be depressed
And cry like puppies the account failed
There's more to life than sales
B2B outbound cold calls
Hey buy our service make us rich
At first we believed till we woke up
It's the same crap as the rest
Just dressed up differently
What we do next will be better
Cos we ain't doing that crap!
Aug 19, 2024
Aug 19, 2024 at 8:37 AM UTC
Move It
Let the bosses deal with the ****
It’s what they’re paid for
Why should we concern ourselves?
We have our own demons to slay
There are other opportunities out there
Not just their cheap scandalous account
Let’s move on get something better
Away from their hostility mind set and vices
I plan on being an astronaut
What about you?
Aug 19, 2024
Aug 19, 2024 at 8:35 AM UTC
Blessed are the sign makers
for they shall do overtime
social distancing notices
and warnings galore…
means extra work
for those who hope to inform.
Reflecting the changes
in a mixed up world…
There’s serif, sans serif, cursive,
leaded, kerned, font smoothed, curled.
Helvetica, Univers, Futura & Gill
Classic fonts urging you - Stand Still!…
Don’t cross that line…
Follow the science… Divine!
Do the 2 metre 2 step
the 1 metre Shimmy…
The retailers are back
saying Gimme, Gimme, Gimme.
Women want to shop…
Blokes just want to be blokes
and stand outside!
It’s a sign of the times folks…Stay Out!
Onside!
Goal!!!
However many trades hit the economic wall
the signmakers & writers out there, they’ll outlive us all!
Blessed are the sign makers!
Jun 29, 2020
Jun 29, 2020 at 4:48 AM UTC
the annual gift-giving hectivities
in advent time
when we are
supposedly
expecting the birth of our savior
defy traditional ideas
of quiet meditation
drowning the sense of wonder
with relentless jingles for super discount sales
of things neither we
nor anybody else
really needs
even though they suggest we
and whoever we give those goodies to
would be beyond the moon
somehow
Christ
in spite of all this
gets born
Dec 22, 2019
Dec 22, 2019 at 9:13 AM UTC
the United Nations
ever and again call to raise billions
to help countries devastated by war
or other mostly man-made catastrophes
I suggest we operate by the causality principle:
the countries who sell all those arms
and military support to the warring parties
or leave the natives no land to grow their own food
simply use the money gained from their sales and appropriations
to help the refugees they created
build up all the cities their weapons destroyed
provide a living for the farmers whose lands
have been sold to agrobusinesses
pay for the education of all the children
unable to have schooling
reconstruct the societies their greedy actions destroyed
sounds like a fair proposal
doesn‘t it??
Apr 5, 2018
Apr 5, 2018 at 3:17 PM UTC
For the low low price of just being within' earshot,
the conversation analyst will run a full diagnostic on your conversation.
You know how that perfect comeback
feels, three weeks after
You didn't say it?
In training, representatives for Inbound sales listen to recordings of their own phone calls and critique them like Art majors in a studio class.
Our conversation analyst.
Looks at you like a shoe on the wall.
Unlike the psychology major, the conversation analyst will never share his results.
He'll just judge you.
Silently.
He doesn't speak.
His fourth grade english teacher taught him that the carpenters house is never finished.
She was referring to her husband, the carpenter, not finishing the renovations on their new home, but the conversation analyst heard it as a metaphor, and adopted it as a universal truth.
Much like a painting controls the path your eye travels the canvas, or the scientific process that goes into composing music,
the way you build rapport is one of those things that people don't realize can be an art form until they wittness it professionally.
Our conversation analyst considers himself Socio-passionate.
Which amuses him, when he deducts points from your conversation for not empathizing correctly.
Or not giving effective compliments by asking a relevant question afterwards.
The conversation analyst is not always mute. On special occasions such as first impressions he is a fine conversationalist.
You can meet the conversation analyst for the first time, as many times as you want.
If the carpenters house is never finished.
The conversation analyst
exemplar at listening,
Will never hear you.
Feb 5, 2018
Feb 5, 2018 at 6:26 PM UTC
*I don't want to sell,
anymore...
I wish not to have sold at all.
Religion is useless...
Spiky-Hats, pointy-things, death.*
*I am not a salesman,
for Death.*
Jan 2, 2018
Jan 2, 2018 at 11:13 PM UTC
Early morning, they scuttle around, looking for some junk that no one has yet found.
Look another bright orange sign, slam on the brakes maybe we will make it on time.
Read the sign. Follow endless arrows. Some little punk changed the direction of these arrows.
We drove for an hour, Grandmother said keep going, we will find it, I know it has great offerings.
Tireless efforts the sun has now set. Grandmother was determined to still find this treasure nest.
As annoyed as I was, I would give her the endless days of driving around looking for those junk sale signs, if I could have just one more day.
Now she rides above me as I wander from sale to sale. Stopping only at the ones I know she would have wanted to.
I silently shop through others junk. Talking to her about each item I rummage through thinking of her.
My garage is full of boxes of other peoples stuff as I keep on buying all the junk you thought was just.
I learned much from you. Making money on this stuff. I love you dearly Grandmother for the lessons you taught.
Nashoba copyrighted 2017
Jul 27, 2017
Jul 27, 2017 at 12:32 PM UTC
she is a carafe of reverb
that broach a top in quarters now
this tray makes her wedding day
while her make up dries her tears
with skins regale there with the bells on
as her blossom is newly squib
Jul 15, 2017
Jul 15, 2017 at 8:36 AM UTC