#restricted
I'm a big fish in a small pond
I dream big
I see strong
I dig deep
To find what's wrong
Bring it to the surface
Where it belongs
To be processed
and addressed;
Reclassified
To bring me closer to success.
Jul 22, 2021
Jul 22, 2021 at 3:26 AM UTC
Mummified me tight in her web,
she finds it funny
that my eyes are left open.
I shake
but I cannot listen
and I cannot scream
and she stares until
my heart is broken.
she whispers and I read her lips:
"I am fate,
and you were held firm in my clutches
ever since man has fallen.
"Lay, watch, and twitch
and remember my dear,
every breath you take is testimony
that you were chosen."
May 1, 2020
May 1, 2020 at 10:44 PM UTC
My feet are above the ground,
Like a rocket ship with nothing in the way,
I take off,
And I keep going.
I just keep going...
No longer restricted by the confounds of flesh,
By birth and by death.
I leave behind who I was, and now I’m I am.
Apr 11, 2019
Apr 11, 2019 at 8:46 PM UTC
I can not do what you do
so I sit on the sidelines and watch.
I see you dance and clap
and all I can do is scream!
Must I mention, it is not joy.
It is for a change so I can be the same.
Oct 22, 2018
Oct 22, 2018 at 11:54 AM UTC
An ability we can't explain,
the ability to feel our love.
To feel it still even through pain,
what a gift it is, or so it was.
Before we forgot and squandered,
loosing it to the infinite.
Before we rationed and excluded,
basking it in pride.
Before we took the reins and pulled too tight,
what once was boundless...now out of sight.
Mar 27, 2018
Mar 27, 2018 at 9:20 AM UTC
eyes peel open
my nostrils tingle
as the smells of soil and sweat
permeate the air
the heat is unbearable
breathing shallow
movement restricted
I only wish to wipe the sleep
from my eyes
*who would prevent me
such a simple request?*
anxiety billows for
a brief moment
surrendering complacently
as the frequency of
my rising chest
slows
I sense my sightless eyes
dimming
resting shut
I am so tired...
Sep 10, 2016
Sep 10, 2016 at 5:03 PM UTC
The hands that haven't held
The legs that haven't walked
The skin that has never felt
The eyes that couldn't see
The ears that couldn't hear
I owned the mouth that never spoke,
filled with words hidden behind lips
that filled my throat
but, I couldn't speak
the last and only thing I felt
was the awful feeling
of being choked
whenever I spoke
I was creature with no energy
just like a flower with no petals
I wasn't able to bloom
I wasn't able to grow
- Kaya
Jul 4, 2016
Jul 4, 2016 at 3:20 AM UTC
Sadly this woman with the biggest heart
Has to rip out her most loving thoughts
She must turn cold
For over her, people just rolled
She alway knew they would
But she still did what she could
She so desperately wanted to belive
That everyone that was truly in need
Would appreciate what she did
She had the faith of a little kid
She believed there was good in most everyone
But now with all of that, she was done
There finally was that last straw
Finally a line she had to draw
This decision was agonizingly painful
After this, she didn't know what she would live for, would she be able
The pain of this was greater then all that had came before
This killing of her own soul hurt so much more
Than what any human monster had inflicted
With this her heart would truly be restricted
She took the broken pieces of her being
Ground them to dust as tears down her checks kept steaming
She knew with this final self inflicted act
There would be no coming back
There would be no more love, no hope
If not for drugs, how would she cope
With one last sigh
One last cry
She pounded what made her, her to dust
She felt no other way out, it was a must
The chain that bound her to helping others just turned to rust
It broke and fell away
She wondered why on this earth would she now stay
For with all the good she had tried to spread into this wicked place
She sincerely thought it would be returned when difficulties she faced
Only to find
No other human would act as kind
Every single person she tured to
Only replied "what can I do"
"I would help, but I must put myself first"
Her loving heart made her feel so utterly cursed
So she decided that was it
No longer with the afflicted would she sit
No longer would she put others before herself
They could all fall off the ******* shelf
This decision was not freeing
It was gonna **** her completely, her fragile soul, her being
It was gonna break the ties that held her to this life
But when she need help, no one was there to end the strife
Now this woman with the biggest heart
Has to rip out her most loving thoughts
Now she is as cold and heartless as the rest
But look really hard, there is still the stain of tears upon her breast
Jun 26, 2016
Jun 26, 2016 at 6:07 PM UTC
Constricted
Restricted
Bound
Helpless
Four fears remaining constant
May 9, 2016
May 9, 2016 at 10:15 PM UTC
Suffocation isn’t always hand on neck,
Squeezing, pressing down,
Blocking off air death.
Suffocation is the man with his tie tightened around his tender neck
Every morning 5 am
He is told he needs to work hard (and overtime) to feed his family
Does he not care about them?
Whittle his soul down to a single strand of consciousness,
Again and again,
Exhausted, stressed
Failing relationships,
Doesn’t speak to parents,
Hasn’t seen wife in 3 weeks
But work, yes bills, more important.
Work till you die,
Profit first everything else second.
Suffocation is the student,
Hand squeezing pen,
Eyes shut,
Failed another test,
She didn’t have time to study,
Deadlines,
Homework,
Projects,
overwhelming,
pushing her down,
tries to scream fails can't breathe,
silent cries for help unnoticed,
passion for learning depleted cold and dark and alone,
anxious, trembling, when will the next test be when will the next failure come when
suffocating dying restricted.
not always hand on neck restricting.
Sometimes, it's the restriction of the mind;restriction of the soul.
Apr 10, 2016
Apr 10, 2016 at 8:49 AM UTC
I feel constricted
Like the buds of flowers closed at night
The eyes watching me
And trembling at the sight of me
Because I've been worn by the chains
And not the other way around
My soul's been twisted and churned
And ground into a fine powdered sand
The fear is crippling
It consumes
It devours
It leaves me stripped of all I once was
And of all I wanted to be
Until I feel empty inside
A hollow wisp
Of someone I once admired
Mar 1, 2016
Mar 1, 2016 at 9:31 PM UTC
The doors were shut again.
Inside, Wendy could hear him typing. The click and clack sounds of a typewriter had grown monotonous to her, a never-ending drone, so unlike a human heartbeat.
Jack said, “Wendy, let me explain something to you. Whenever you come in here and interrupt me, you’re breaking my concentration. You’re distracting me. And it will then take time to get back to where I was.”
She placed her hands up on the doors and put her ear to the wood, listening.
Click and clack, click and clack.
Jack said, “When you come in here and you hear me typing, or whether you don’t hear me typing, or whatever the **** you hear me doing; when I’m in here, it means that I am working. That means don’t come in.”
Jack asked, “Now, do you think you can handle that?”
Wendy liked to believe the best sound in the world was the sound of creation. Jack favoured the clatter of typewriter keys. Wendy preferred the sound of laughter.
Wendy wondered, with all this typing going on, if she could still keep her place in his heart.
Feb 17, 2016
Feb 17, 2016 at 6:56 PM UTC
I am always in solitary confinement:
Just me, in my body, with a vague yet distant
Presence of others
Feb 13, 2016
Feb 13, 2016 at 9:32 PM UTC
**Nothing in this world
hurts more than
being bound to someone
who wants to remain boundless.**
Feb 11, 2016
Feb 11, 2016 at 4:04 AM UTC
I can't fly without feathers
So why are you putting me in tethers
I can't swim without fins
And still your sticking in the pins
And pulling off that little dolls limbs
Like right out of the fairytale grimms'
Your vicious as hell with that voodoo doll of twine
You made in my image so it would be mine
I constantly feel the shivers run down my spine
I don't understand why you keep me here entrapped
And leave all of our potential so untapped
Instead you think I must be kidnapped
It's trust that you're so desperately lacking
Wish you would just relize it's not me that's been slacking
Jan 28, 2016
Jan 28, 2016 at 11:19 AM UTC
Can't even join the
rat race
Lonely, sitting here
caged.
Jul 16, 2015
Jul 16, 2015 at 3:58 PM UTC
In my world people will not have to stop themselves from saying "I love you" to others no matter their gender or relation to me, because if I love them as a person, then I love them none the less.
You see now in days, we as people give no love. It is feared.
Opposite genders feel uncomfortable hugging one another, need to say making any physical contact at all.
Why is showing love so limited and why does it feel like love is not okay?
We as people must pick and choose who we can verbally say "I love you" to.
But I love every one!
Old, young, man, woman, shy, loud, weak, strong, beautiful, ugly.
I love them all!
I love that I am not alone on this world and that I met you.
We are all God's children, so why not act like sisters and brothers.
If I like someone, I LIKE THEM!
Why should I be afraid to show compassion, THIS IS WHAT WE ARE MADE FOR!
We are living creatures who require physical contact, affection and LOVE from both MEN and WOMAN.
Have you ever noticed when you DO hug the opposite *** it feels so GREAT, so COMFORTING yet so AWKWARD?
When you tell some one I love you, even if they may not be super close it feels good to say yet odd?
That is because we need love as people just like we need food.
Men need love!
They too need to be told they are handsome, they too need to be hugged and comforted when they cry be told everything is okay.
&
Women need love!
They too need to be told they are beautiful, feel cared for and comforted when they feel hurt.
We need each other, so why does society put a large wall in comforting one another, having inoccent connections and bonds with people of the opposite *** and race?
So why is showing common love so limited and restricted, why is love not okay?
Sep 22, 2014
Sep 22, 2014 at 8:49 PM UTC
trying to find the right words,
words that mask or conceal,
my mind immediately flashes to
an aspect of life that little can be revealed.
green leaves, peekaboo rays of light
through the shade of an old oak tree,
such things are familiar,
easily relatable, and bare nothing about me.
i don’t want the world knowing,
what goes on in my head, so
i’ll write about nature
when I’m forced to pick up a pen.
but someday, i want to share myself with someone,
let them know the inner workings of my head.
but right now, i’m not ready,
i share scenes of nature instead.
and i’ll continue to write about the birds hopping along sidewalks
and squirrels dancing among the brush,
until i can open up to others,
do away with my hush.
Jul 28, 2014
Jul 28, 2014 at 3:07 AM UTC
Lost; stuck
Free me
shackles wrapped
clenched
suffocating
not even near
but far
drive away
rearview mirror,
you wash away
I waved farewell
spinning
turning
endless
fly and.
go.
get.
you ask me why
or how
answerless I remain.
putting the pieces
together
and apart
Riddles;
I solve,
Let myself know myself
But fearing
questions’ answer
for knowledge
Knowing knowledge
Knows no bounds.
Sometimes there are
tears
but smiling
floating
mysteries
solved
slowly
simply
unraveled
and still shackled
but breaking
free
And one day I will be
in the sky,
wings spread
to sunset:
I’ve found it.
Apr 19, 2014
Apr 19, 2014 at 7:45 PM UTC