#relive
some people will
tell you
to act your age
a being
who is ageless
in a temporary body
crying
because
she got lost
some can
go back
in time
to a place in their mind
when life was easy
when it didnt hurt
when they were happy
Mar 17, 2025
Mar 17, 2025 at 11:09 PM UTC
Fall into the night where my dreams can rule,
Came upon me a time of purity that's not cruel,
Don't wake me, or wrap me in familiar lies,
I long for that pure spark that never dies.
Release the hidden truth, let it flow deep,
Dripping memories as bygones weep,
Don’t give me hope, don’t give me a faith misled,
Nor Knowledge or power, give innocence instead.
Don’t give me temporal beauty, nor what’s divine,
Just give me simple truth, and I’ll be just fine.
In a awakened world where dreams can fade,
I’m shedding masks that I've portrayed.
Let me breathe easy, let me see now clear,
For youth of innocence is what holds me here.
Convey hearts like in infancy, piercing through the dark.
Come out among the gray ones with their tired remarks.
Chains link then shatter, releases all to be,
With innocence unbound, our spirit can see.
Feb 12, 2025
Feb 12, 2025 at 3:27 PM UTC
Sometimes
I think about everywhere we've been, and the innumerable unreproducible moments
But then I remember quietly fighting about homeschooling in a Denny's
Sometimes
I feel like I'll never connect in the same way with another person
But then I remember that I am dramatic and each intimate connection is unique
Sometimes
I finally am finishing watching our last show that I just haven't had the breadth to pick back up again
And I remember the exact way in a specific moment of the show that you laughed
And how many times you laughed that same way through the years
And I feel pain,
deep in my heart
But then I remember,
pain never really fully leaves
Jun 20, 2022
Jun 20, 2022 at 7:45 PM UTC
the guitar riff
strums my heartstrings ,
plucking and letting go
with the soft unmarred hands of a child.
time turns one last time
before this memory too,
fades
as half of my essence had before.
leaving my marred hand
with no story.
Jun 19, 2020
Jun 19, 2020 at 1:13 PM UTC
Descend into refraction before me, bewildered like a ****** Exist as a flunkey, and myopic.
Everything I’ve existed, all of a sudden lifted and sifted. Leaving residue not historic.
Originating from neglect of the forthcoming. All I’ve learned and would learn.
Dissolve from this.
I do not like this great dissolution, but I accept it, swallowing my actions too late.
So fall to pieces, and bring a reset of samsara.
Dissolute all I’ve known and would.
Only due to my ignorance.
I’ve brought destruction.
I deserve struggle.
As it falls away.
Into nothing.
I become.
Nothing.
I was.
But
Now
Am
Ø.
Nov 9, 2019
Nov 9, 2019 at 1:37 PM UTC
I keep saying to myself
that all bad days have an ending
but so the good days
have one too.
Nov 5, 2019
Nov 5, 2019 at 5:45 AM UTC
Have you ever been kicked down then stand up with pride
I have
I had life hating me
Yet still I survived
I still live daily
Without having to hide
The tribulations that I went through
On these healing pages I write
It’s my outlet, to bring all my emotions to life
It’s endlessly part of my strife
Dealing with it all is hard enough
Thank god for my wife
Without her, I doubt I would have ever survived in this life
Pulling me from darkness
When they were about to clamp down with the vice
She gives me infinite strength
To just keep up with fight
To not become part of a twisted world
Who finds chaos ......in delight
Aug 28, 2019
Aug 28, 2019 at 1:34 PM UTC
I wrote about you for the same reason I photographed you
Because even though we aren't the same people now
You're the same person I fell in love with on the old pages of my journal
But instead of being wrapped in your arms, the words on my pages hold me close and bring warmth to my heart, much like you used to
The photographs of you pull up the corners of my lips to create a soft nostalgic smile, though my eyes start to pool in the corners
Not tears of sadness, but of melancholy remembrance for how much has changed since the ink dried on my pages
Tears that remind me why I write and capture
So that I can relive the moments I held dearest and preserve those who walked down my path with me, no matter where they veered off on their own, they'll always remain the same in my story.
Jan 16, 2019
Jan 16, 2019 at 4:15 PM UTC
I don't go back because I want to relive it,
I go back because I want to pollute, dilute, and make minute the memory of us in this place.
Sep 15, 2018
Sep 15, 2018 at 6:06 PM UTC
Don't become stuck
Reminiscing
Years will pass
before you realize
it's the present you've been missing
Aug 25, 2018
Aug 25, 2018 at 1:29 AM UTC
Walking down the hall,
The hall of memories,
When I was happy and carefree.
Every time I look at them,
I wish I could go back and relive them.
Relive the best moments in life
because ever since I was 8,
my happiness was ruined.
I walk down the hall and
look at every single photo.
I try to remember that day
in which that photo was taken,
and when I do remember, I space
out and start crying because
I know that I will never be that happy
again.
When I get to the photo of a baby picture,
I stop and think, what an innocent little body
and face, I wonder what it would be like
if my innocence wasn't taken.
Jul 19, 2018
Jul 19, 2018 at 2:19 AM UTC
Don't tell me that you understand.
Have you scooped out my eyes?
Like they were vanilla ice-cream.
Have you cut them open?
To see what they have seen.
Have you dug up all the memories?
To see what was buried in them.
Have you tried?
You will never know
what I have experienced.
Even if you took my eyes,
you wouldn't be able to feel it.
May 13, 2018
May 13, 2018 at 2:32 PM UTC
Where does the poet turn
when the words cannot be found
who will see him
through quiet nights
and solemn days
as he fumbles in thought
at a scene already written
an emotion already spent
the frightening possibility
that his dreams have all been dreamed
his nightmares all survived
the poet's eye if narrowed
is blind
a cold wind turns the corner
as he makes his way
to the nearby park
with pencil and pad
he will gaze in infinite wonder
the children at play
the Sun on the bay
and he will wish he could live
the words once again
Mar 7, 2018
Mar 7, 2018 at 4:53 PM UTC
Mashed up
mash up
smashed up
crushed up
got back up
glued up
suited up
straight up
A
G
A
I
N
Nov 14, 2017
Nov 14, 2017 at 3:55 AM UTC
I've heard my heart many times, saying
" I'm haunted by humans. "
I saw my words bleeding.
Then gazed at her's,
which gave me hope or perhaps something more,
" Life ".
The bleeding words healed.
Broken smiles revived.
The silent heart beat in new rhythms.
My pale face re-lit.
Oct 24, 2017
Oct 24, 2017 at 6:29 AM UTC
You can either take a photo or shoot a video.
A Photo reminds you of the past and makes you wish time had stayed frozen. A Video lets you relive a moment, fulfilling your need to stay young and to be lost in an endless loop of memories.
Jan 10, 2017
Jan 10, 2017 at 9:37 AM UTC
you're my demon
the angel in me
ignite the flames in which i burn
blow the air to float my wings
s.q.
.
Jun 13, 2016
Jun 13, 2016 at 11:54 PM UTC
Rebirth:
Reborn, his wing span breathes the wind
He sprints to touch land
As he touches land, his hands grasp the ground
Transformation and Deliverance
Watch as he will rise from the ashes
Apr 20, 2016
Apr 20, 2016 at 9:14 PM UTC
Incense smoke floats around my room,
like ghosts of my memories.
The right way to describe it enters and leaves me daily,
soft voices too timid to stick around.
Mar 26, 2016
Mar 26, 2016 at 3:28 PM UTC
It's this migraine of swirling, or paused pulse in the head.
As if the revolution of earth is felt in much faster pace,
And only you are in this ride of earth farris wheel.
Are you alone in this darkness,
As if beneath the deep sea,
And striving desperately gasp to the surface to breath?
Those moments your beats stop in seconds,
but that second felt like a life span,
And you want to knock everything on the table to release your senses.
This desire to bash your head against a wall,
Until this pressure in your head halts,
And allow the circulation to resume with the flow of your blood?
Razor upon the skin to release senses of the nerves in this numb within,
Allowing your warm blood to flow,
And remind yourself you are alive?
In a brief moment of solitude,
As the midnight bring solace,
You allow yourself to dream?
Dec 25, 2015
Dec 25, 2015 at 1:00 AM UTC
What happens when.
You wake up.
And forget everything.
You have no sense of who you are.
People tell you who are.
Tell you people you should know.
But you dont...
What happens when you relive every thing.
Is it all happening then?
Or is it a memory.
Is this pain from now?
Or is it from the past?
Is this hurt and pain and want and urge of death.
From now?
Is this unbareable craving of pain, the want to cut youself.
How do you know.
Whats recent and from the past..
What happens when you lose all control.
What happens when you want to die.
What happens when your in so much pain.
No one can see they need to let you go..
No one but one knows your pain.
One person, has the same pain.
What happens when you lose all want to live..
Why is everyone blind.
I am in to much pain to go on?
You wake up clueless of who you are.
Just knowing, every little memory re living it.
No one knows how bad you want to end.
No one knows the pain.
Of reliving ever little time ive been *****
Of reliving the death of the person you loved.
Of reliving your molestation.
reliving watching your daughter die.
Reliving your hell.
No one knows...
No ones knows the pain..
What happens when you love the pain of the blood falling down your wrist again.
What happens when you want to give up?
Are you gonna be forced to live a life.
To fake your hell is not killing you already.
To fake you have a soul.
I lost my lit up heart it died with the ashes.
You are cursed with a never ending life.
Some would love this.
But why love a life.
When your accused of killing.
Your accused of a ****** you simply didnt do.
When your taken from every great thing.
When your sole purpose is to watch the people you love die.
When you watch people like casey
Blame themself.
for deaths.
death the didnt have anything to do with.
When you know they didnt.
They dont know they **** you more.
The pain from others.
**** every hope you have of a soul.
J lee died.
And the one thing i loved more than life.
Blames him own self.
A death destroyed him.
1
Not 47.
Ive seen 47.
How destroyed must i be?
Does anyone know my pain?
Do they?
No.
No one has lived my life.
Everyone would die in my shoes.
I cry.
But think how the hell strong i am.
To even consider loving you all enough to stay.
So next time you doubt me.
Think of that.
Think of why the hell i'd stay for something i hated.
If i am alive.
In a life i cant wait to ******* end..
-love
Aug 21, 2015
Aug 21, 2015 at 1:33 AM UTC
Stars-there only light in the sky.
But what if there a resemblance of those who have
died showing their souls in the sky.
Painting a picture in the sky.
Make art with their light.
No matter how far down you get pushed down
to the forest of darkness.
You die with the light in your heart and are realesed.
And made once again.
Your light stays in the sky to paint your picture.
Then your welcomed back in the world for a second chance.
Jul 5, 2015
Jul 5, 2015 at 3:24 AM UTC
A dream is a wish your heart makes
Or so they say
If I dream of a nightmare, am I wishing for one?
I dreamt of you last night
After years of having no thoughts about you
In your white polo under your blue cotton sweater and
Your glasses that sit perfectly across your nose bridge
You are exactly how I remembered you
You were taking photos, that was your hobby
And I had a camera in my hand
We didn't immediately talk but
Stolen glances were evidently exchanged
Until you went behind me and grabbed my camera and said
"Can I take a few pictures?"
*God, you were so cute
How could I say no?*
"Sure," I said, following you to the tree you were about to shoot
You took a few photos and I watched you
I watched your familiar grip on the camera
And how you squint one eye as you look into the lens
How you smile as you look at every shot you take, satisfied with your work
I could not believe how familiar you seemed
As if we just stopped talking yesterday
The next thing I knew
You were leaning in to me with the lens pointing at us
"Selfie!", you said
Ugh that smile!
And so we took a selfie
And another one and another one and another one
You ran across the field with my camera
Which I obviously needed,
So I ran after you
And there we were like two lost sheep who found each other again,
Chasing after each other with these huge smiles on our faces
And when I finally caught up to you,
I hugged you in an attempt to grab my camera back
And I felt the familiar shape of your shoulders
And how they harden as you tighten your grip around my camera
You were laughing
*And, ugh, that laugh was like...
Hearing your favorite song which you've gotten over and being reminded of why you loved it in the first place*
I laughed along with you
And we were lying on the field laughing with cameras in our hands
Then I woke up
Mar 8, 2015
Mar 8, 2015 at 3:15 AM UTC