#relieving
spells of spelling hissy fits,
is relieving or reliving the
for-the-word
that the brain searches
to no avail,
a distraughting travail.
and you know what it is
that destroys you,
peacefully by piece-fully,
destroys, be-fiddled
befuddled,
we huddle up
with my the legislative of my
body-parts,
each an equal state,
under my federal jurisdiction,
that no one needs to obey,
they all renegade from the
obvious
and,
the answer plain,
*in the reliving,
there is no relieving,*
no rescue mission,
on the way,
nope,
no rescue for this
poet losing his
own way
Oct 23, 2025
Oct 23, 2025 at 5:55 PM UTC
One of the most
Painful and
Heartbreaking
Things to hear
But most relieving
Mar 15, 2018
Mar 15, 2018 at 7:53 PM UTC
i hate to be graphic and upsetting, but i need to write this. please refrain from reading.
first thing on my mind is
harm
what i feel like i deserve is
pain
it is not even a coping mechanism to me anymore
it has become routine
i fixate on it
i need to do it
i have to or else
i cannot bear to be myself
in my cold skin
i can't even look in the mirror
i'm a ******* monster
the slow sensation on my arm
is relieving and reassuring
that i am still deserving of it
i remember when i was 13
and i grabbed my weapon
and ran to my room
shut the door
turned out the light
sat down on the floor
and wept
if only i had known
what i was getting myself into
fast forward 5 years
and i am still there
on the floor
the reaction from my mother when i confessed
shocked me and took me by surprise
how could you be mad at me
i thought to myself
but now i realize why
i was her masterpiece
never to inflict harm on myself
and there i was
ruining what was hers
my skin
it's always there
most times a burden
other times a sign of resilience
a reminder of my monster
my corrupt side
of low self-esteem and self-worth
that i seem to never gain back
i won't ever hide it
i won't ever get rid of it
because i can't
i am not proud
most people say i'm a pathetic fool
crying for attention
desperate for others to see
but no one ever notices
and it lets me know
that it will always be
my little secret
a habit that was once by choice
but now by force
i wonder if i will ever grow out of it
like they said i would
years ago
i have accepted the fact that
i love it
and will never let it go
Nov 3, 2015
Nov 3, 2015 at 10:29 PM UTC