#relatives
When I was 10, my father took me to the funeral of one of his friends I'd never met. I stood quietly in a corner, just waiting to leave, when a man walked up to me. He smiled sadly and said, "Enjoy your life, kid. Be happy... because I never was." Then he gently placed his hand on my head and walked away. Before leaving, my father insisted I say goodbye to the deceased. But when I looked into the coffin, my heart froze... lying there was the same man who had just spoken to me minutes earlier. From that day, I had trouble sleeping. I feared being alone, kept the lights on at night, and even saw a psychologist. Years later, I learned something that changed everything: the man in the coffin had a twin brother.
May 13
May 13, 2026 at 3:10 PM UTC
Dear PK, many happy returns
One of my coolest cousins
A gem of a human
Not to mention, a load of fun!
Dear PK, many happy returns
Very valuable, are all your suggestions
Extremely selfless by nature
Now a proud father
Ever a doting husband
Bro, you're too kind!!
Dear PK, many happy returns
I want to give you many thanks
For always keeping Shru happy
Your bond is so lovely!!
Dear PK, many happy returns
Sorry for the late wishes
Hope you had an amazing day
Your cheerfulness helps keep anxiety at bay!!
Dear PK, many happy returns
Not great, have been recent times
Hope Lady Luck soon kisses both your cheeks
You and your family deserve some peace
For you all, I'll keep praying
Quite hard, you've been working
May you finally reap rich rewards
On your doors, knock should success!!
Dear PK, many happy returns
On your side, am I always
Hope to see you in some time
Good night and sleep tight!!
Mar 15
Mar 15, 2026 at 11:58 AM UTC
It was Monday, June 20th, 2022. My (Yale) roommates and I are in Paris to see Olivia Rodrigo (in two days). But tonight, I was doing a favor for my great-uncle Remy. Taking my elderly great-aunt Yvonne to the airport.
In RL this all happened in French, but I wouldn’t do that to you - but just so you know.
“I’ve always thought of Anais as a granddaughter,” Yvonne said, too loudly, into my phone, which she had grabbed from me and I was afraid she would drop. She kept trying to hold it to her ear.
She smiled at me with her old lady dimples. “That’s sweet of you to say,” I lied. She doesn’t fool me. She’s not innocuous. She’s as mean as a snake and she doesn’t like ME at all. How did I end up doing this? I asked myself.
“No Aunt Yvonne,” I said as I gently moved the phone away from her ear. “This is a CAMERA call. Hold it out so they can SEE you.” She’s saying a final goodbye to Remy and letting a cousin know her arrival time. As the Facetime call ends, I pocket my phone with relief.
Lisa’s with us (I told her not to come) and she doesn’t speak French. So for her, this whole task is an awkward pantomime. Charles, our escort, drove us to Orly airport and he’s circling in wait to pick us up.
Yvonne walks at a glacial pace, and it took forever to clear security. Lisa and I have special tags allowing us to escort Yvonne to her gate. I offered to get her a wheelchair, but NOOOOO.
“We need to hurry –,” I began, but she interrupted me.
“Why are you wearing that skintight nothing?” she barked loudly, irritatedly, “if I had YOUR figure, I’d hide those tiny ******* (“minuscules seins,” in French, loudly). Heads turned as I flushed with irritation and she cackled like a witch.
It’s 8pm in Paris and 30.5°C (87°F). I’m wearing a sports bra and two tank tops. Sue me. I wasn’t planning on doing this at all. We were staggering slowly through the terminal when, like a gift from God, an Air France courtesy tram pulled up next to us.
“Get on,” I demanded, “or we’ll miss your flight.” She did - as slowly as humanly possible.
When we finally got seated at the gate, she sent me for bottled water, a sleep mask, a neck pillow, sugarless lemon drops and a Paris Match magazine. “Thank you, my dear,” she said upon my return, baring her teeth at me in what I suppose was meant to be a smile.
“You should come and visit me (in Libreville, Gabon, Africa),” she suggested, “I think there are things I could teach you."
'Sure,' I thought, 'like how to get eaten by a lion.'
“I can’t,” I said, with feigned regret, "I'm in school,” (I wouldn’t go there if she lived with Timothée Chalamet).
I heard a familiar voice, and I looked up to see my Grandmère arriving with her usual entourage of 7 or 8 lackeys, a couple of frazzled Air France employees and two gendarmes.
“Yvonne,” she said, pointing to the two Air France employees, “these people will see to you. Say goodbye to Anais.”
“Goodbye dear,” Yvonne said in a fake, fragile voice. I gave Yvonne a half-hearted Paris bises (two kisses on each side) and my Grandmère shooed me away with a hand gesture and an impatient, “Go, GO.”
I’m afraid Remy’s in trouble.
Yvonne and her branch of the family are the slimiest people you could ever meet. They’re billion-heirs (not billionaires - billion-heirs) who (theoretically) stand to inherit handsomely when my Grandmère dies
(I am NOT in that grubby lineup).
They’re liars, cheaters and scoundrels who’d stab you in the face for an olive to put in their martinis. They're legal reasons my Grandmère has to put up with them from time to time - but every interaction is fraught with phoniness.
About fifteen minutes later, Lisa and I are in the car with Charles racing back to Paris for dinner with our roommates. As I texted them to expect us in 20 minutes, Lisa said, “I got bad vibes from that old lady - the way she LOOKED at you when you weren’t watching..”
“YOU,” I said with a chuckle, “are very perceptive!”
.
.
Songs for this:
Never Need Me by Rachel Chinouriri
Forever by HAIM
Mar 8
Mar 8, 2026 at 11:17 PM UTC
There are pearls
There are diamonds
There are sapphires
There are rubies
And then there is you
With a heart so pure
It cannot bear
To even wish harm to a fly
This is not flattery
It’s the truth
The bold and beautiful truth
Many see a cool, fun-loving woman
I see an exceptionally compassionate human
Who believes in second chances
And looks past the darkness
Which permeate certain souls
Because, in you, the light shines
You have so much potential
And of course, the will
To do anything that needs to be done
You’re gonna be a great person
Around you, are wonderful people
Your brother, Nikhil
Your parents
Akash, your spouse
For you, almost nothing is impossible
I said you’re gonna be a great person
But more importantly, you’re already an extremely GOOD person
God bless you, you incredible human!
Mar 5
Mar 5, 2026 at 6:12 AM UTC
I love you, dear brother
You’ve always been my big brother
Advising and guiding me
And supporting me
When I was at my worst
Coaxing and cajoling me
To help me bring out my best
An invaluable presence
Blessed with oodles of common sense!
I love you, dear brother
You’ve an interesting sense of humour
Initially, your so-called jokes never amused me
Now, they’re growing on me
You know how to comfort people
Not to mention, you’re very cool
During many a crisis
Never, do you swear or curse!!
I love you, dear brother
A lot of fun, we’ve had together
So many shared memories
On top of the list, is Eating Circles
Your family is extremely special
Sahana is such an angel
Though quite naughty
Kamal Bhabhi, ever so warm and friendly
Aarthi, the perfect big sister
A great conversationalist, your mother
Very jovial and dignified, your father
His loss still hurts a ton
Really, a beautiful human
However, remarkably strong you are
**** quick to move on
A thoroughly brave character!!
I love you, dear brother
And will be there for you forever
Please remain the amazing person you are
And let’s catch up sooner than later!!
Mar 2
Mar 2, 2026 at 2:11 AM UTC
Merry Christmas, dear sister
Your personality, I adore
A fun person to be around
And too gentle for your own good!
Merry Christmas, dear sister
None, for whom you don't care
A charming smile, you possess
Blessed with loads of sass
Can hold your own
In any situation
Seldom unhappy
And rarely snappy!!
Merry Christmas, dear sister
Always providing us cheer
Without you, the world's flat
You're so full of tact!!
Merry Christmas, dear sister
Wherever you are
You **** boredom
I'm proud
To be part of your fandom
When I go to bed
To God, do I give my thanks
For your mere presence!!
Merry Christmas, dear sister
I'm sure you'll make a fabulous doctor
Merry Christmas again, and a Happy New Year
Love you to the core!!
Dec 24, 2025
Dec 24, 2025 at 8:43 AM UTC
A beautiful aunt, you are
Your heart, so pure
Killing people with love
To what you give
Just no limit
Your kindness, impossible to beat!
A beautiful aunt, you are
Your family, I absolutely adore
Sridhar Chitappa, a gem of an uncle
Then come Nithya and Nikhil
Both, amazing cousins
In their own unique ways
Your home, such a welcoming place
Moving us all to tears
Of the most unbridled joy
So much, to enjoy!!
A beautiful aunt, you are
Wonderful times, we've spent together
Chicago, Ireland, England
Paradise in every possible land
Wimbledon camping topping the list
Followed by World Cup cricket
At Edgbaston, a match to remember
Lake Michigan, we'd love an encore!!
A beautiful aunt, you are
For you, a lot do I care
A cook to **** for
And an even better driver
On the whole, a multi-talented person
And a thoroughly lovable human
Hope to catch up soon
May the Almighty bless you with many a boon!!
Sep 30, 2025
Sep 30, 2025 at 12:24 PM UTC
A very very dear aunt, you are
For me, deeply do you care
Always providing sound advice
You've made me quite wise!
A very very dear aunt, you are
Seldom, do you bore
Indulgent and strict at the same time
You manage to stay calm
In a variety of situations
Tremendous, is your patience!!
A very very dear aunt, you are
A few losses, you've had to suffer
However, forever have you been strong
Stopping at nothing
To get any sort of work done
With you around, can nobody feel alone!!
A very very dear aunt, you are
Almost like a second mother
Your home too, my second home
My quirks, you give not a ****
Because, you see the good in everyone
For me, a lot you've done
I'll always be grateful
You've helped me keep my cool
Whenever I've been under stress
Extremely useful, are your gifts!!
A very very dear aunt, you are
And will be forever
Soon, may we meet
Take care and stay upbeat!!
Aug 8, 2025
Aug 8, 2025 at 4:38 AM UTC
A very very dear cousin, you are
Always, have you shown me unconditional love and care
So lucky am I, to have you in my life
Been my bedrock have you, in times of strife!
A very very dear cousin, you are
All my rants, are you ready to hear
Really, are you patient to the core
Especially given that, off late I have been a bit of a bother
What all have you done for me, I am just unable to count
Truly do I love you as a sister, from the bottom of my heart!!
A very very dear cousin, you are
Interacting with you is such a pleasure
That I often wish the conversation never ends
Yes, greatly do I treasure our long calls and voice note exchanges
In recent weeks though, often have I tested your patience
However, I respect you loads
And I assure you that I will learn from my mistakes
And more importantly, act on my words!!
A very very dear cousin, you are
My heart beats for you, now and forever
Deeply, do I value your advice
In fact, have you helped me become a better person
Having you on my side is indeed a massive boon!!
A very very dear cousin, you are
So much, do I love your mother
So gentle, humble and understated, is your father
And Pradeep is so, so cool
Well, I love you all
Please do keep that smile on your kind face
And hope we soon meet, face to face!!
Feb 28, 2025
Feb 28, 2025 at 1:20 PM UTC
We share many beautiful memories
Because, are we beautiful brothers
From childhood to adolescence to adulthood
Our relationship has never been less than very very good!
We share many beautiful memories
Playing cricket on the streets
And of course inside the house
Making a mockery of cricket rules in the process
For example, a one-handed one-pitch catch
Could win you the match
Or even better, getting beaten would be considered out
However, best of all was book cricket
Where India would score a thousand runs
And the opposing team would be shot out for less than fifty runs!!
We share many beautiful memories
Playing many Cric07 matches
You teaching me the "D-shot"
Myself as Steve Harmison playing 400 ***** without a single attacking shot
Pitching the ball on the wicketkeeper's legs
For sure, would we have outraged many cricket lovers!!
We share many beautiful memories
My unnaturally high-pitched laugh during the beginning of my teens
You having to explain cricket rules to me all over again
Though I had not REALLY forgotten
The hilarious Yelagiri boat incident
For hysterics, did I have some kind of talent!!
We share many beautiful memories
Listening to AR Rahman songs of the glorious late nineties
Before you converted me to a Harris Jayaraj fan
And more than a decade later, a Santhosh Narayanan fan!!
We share many beautiful memories
You and Shreeja teasing me multiple times
About the "Gulmohar Malare" song
Thanks to this, YouTube did I start watching!!
We share many beautiful memories
Playing the game "20 Questions"
Involving cricket as well as Harry Potter
Having multiple debates on Harry Potter
Comparing the movies with the books
This would go on for hours!!
We share many beautiful memories
Having multiple get-togethers with our relatives
Watching cricket matches at Ranga Periappa's house
Getting treated to Sizzling Brownies at Opal Inn
And can I go on and on
However, as per my idol Dr. Meena Kandasamy's advice sage
A poem has to stop at some stage
So, Dear Bro, hope you enjoyed reading
As much as I enjoyed writing!!
Feb 25, 2025
Feb 25, 2025 at 3:28 AM UTC
There's this certain feeling
That only some can give
Hurting instead of healing
Leaving you to question how you live
Why am I always out of place
Always wrong, no matter how hard I try
The shame bright on my face
As I choke down the need to cry
Every argument drains me
Leaving their smiles smug
How I wish they'd hear my plea
Instead of brushing my pain under the rug
Why can't the see this calm is fake
How each insult hurts more and more
Why can't the give instead of take
Isn't that what family's for?
Oct 8, 2024
Oct 8, 2024 at 9:17 AM UTC
At 0 one sees the universe in the womb
From the stars above to the ancient tombs
Eating what mother finds best for us both
Everyone hasn't met you, yet you still bring hope
From 1 to 5, you learn to survive
Stay away from that stove! Don't run with that knife!
Mommy seems tired and daddy always plays
But just say the magical words and you'll always have your way
From 6 to 10, everything is sudden
You start school; you try to be cool
You're no longer allowed to get your clothes muddied
And you won't always need mommy when you go to the pool
From 11 to 12 you start fearing high school
Final years in primary, getting closer to your destiny
You start seeing crushes, as you drool
And wonder what's so cool about that word you learnt ******
13, standalone, a bridge between know it all and human
Running around before the arcade closes to join your legion
Pimples all around, hair growth is profound
You seem a quiet kid, yet around crowds you become loud
Everybody judges you, and your crush won't play your games
You seem too deep into school, don't bunk? You must be lame!
14-16, From the bitter to the "sweet" 16
Depending who you ask, it's the best years of your life
Though many say that about your 20s
Missed an opportunity? There'll be plenty.
Comfortable being uncool, you're just a teen
You don't need others' opinions or their strife
17 to 18, from youth to young adult
You start hating your friend group, it's all their fault!
Why were you a blabbermouth? Keep your words in the vault!
Slow to speak to a crush, but overexposing like a bolt
Everyone already applied. Should I take a gap year?
Nobody is saying goodbye. Why am I in tears?
19. Might as well not even be a teen
Your back hurts, your spleen,
Uni said No, and college is pricy
I'm playing with my future. This is getting dicey.
20, never smoked, drank or kissed
Everything here seems amiss
College is for adults yet this feels like extended high school
Lecturers complain students flirt with them, students complain lecturers are on them
Who's lying? Who's right? Why does that one kid always wanna fight?
21, almost there, special year, conquering fears
Grandma died? I might have to repeat?
Passed the module but granny passed away
There's still so much I wanted to say
This isn't about me, I have to get payed
Too much is on the line. I'll get off my seat and wipe my tears
21! You're an adult now!
22-24, Graduated, got a job, I wouldn't know much about this field
Many say you grow into it, others say you never yield
Alcohol still tastes bitter, a high school crush keeps in contact?
Maybe I truly am better off. Lost friends and family, but I'm still intact
25, the frontal lobe developed
My ideas have finally enveloped
Many at this age are married, have kids, even grandkids
You sit at home, can't afford your own, you can't open the mayo jar's lid
It is amusing to consider that this is regarded as a quarter of your existence.
everything changed, and you stayed persistent
Birthdays don't matter anymore and you can do whatever
But you're old now? And can't chase childish endeavours.
Run it back. Where did we get lost?
How much would it cost to do it all over again?
To apologize and hug that friend
Tell that dead relative that you're sorry
Tell everyone your story
Live a little, once more
Aug 7, 2024
Aug 7, 2024 at 11:13 AM UTC
I love you, dear brother
And for you, will I always be there
Always, have we been close
Right from our school days
Playing a lot of street cricket
Having loads of entertainment
In the form of masala movies
Listening to AR Rahman classics
Debating on Harry Potter-related topics
Playing carrom and chess
The list used to be endless!
I love you, dear brother
So much fun, have we had together
As children, teenagers, adults
Indeed, have we had many a memorable moment
Playing cricket inside the house
And creating a fair amount of chaos
Racking up highly unrealistic totals in book cricket
Going up to the terrace in the evening
And in the process, watching bats
A fair amount of travelling
Especially when it came to trains
Playing the game "20 Questions"
In regards to both cricket and Harry Potter
Going on talking and talking till the wee hours
On a variety of topics
Seriously, were those days epic!!
I love you, dear brother
For me, have you always been there
Advising me from time to time
Always managing to stay calm
Whenever have I gone on ranting and ranting
Taking time out for me while working
Being a shoulder to cry on
Checking on me often
Bringing out the best in me
Not to mention, I'm sure you will agree
It was thanks to you
That I became such an ardent fan of Harris Jayaraj!!
I love you, dear brother
You are going to have an exciting future
So happy am I, for you
Now, is a treat due
Soon, will we meet
Wish you all the very best
And may God bless you
With a truckload of love, happiness, peace and prosperity!!
May 29, 2024
May 29, 2024 at 8:17 AM UTC
Dear Nithya
Wish you a very very happy birthday!!
I am sure this birthday will be that much more special
Given the momentous event that is going to happen
An event that will change your life for the better
Well, I've known you since I was a kid
Though we haven't met frequently
Nor have we spoken a lot
But I've always been fond of you
You are a very nice person
Very warm, friendly and jovial by nature
You bring a lot of cheer
To everyone around you
Not a single moment with you
Can ever be called "boring"
You are so witty
That the Sorting Hat will scream "Ravenclaw!!"
The moment it touches your head
Also, you are very sensitive
And care deeply about your family, cousins and friends
We've had some great times
Whether it be India, US or Ireland
Coming to Ireland, you were an excellent tour guide
The incredible views of the Pacific Ocean from the Cliffs of Moher
Continue to give me goosebumps to this day
And Glendalough Upper Lake was nothing less than Paradise on Earth!!
Finally, I shall never forget the moment
When we had the finest Irish beer, at Temple Bar
Then, as far as US was concerned
The cruise on Lake Michigan was absolutely unforgettable
As were the views from Hancock Tower
Not to mention, the picnic we had at the Chicago Bean!!
Anyway, coming back to you
I hope you have a day to remember
Wish you loads of love, happiness and merriment
And may the Lord bless you!!
Aug 11, 2023
Aug 11, 2023 at 1:02 PM UTC
You are not exactly a sibling of mine
However, you are my sister
And that's all that matters, according to me
What would I do without you?
I rant and rant
Knowing that you are an amazing listener
And a shoulder to cry on
However, it is providing sound advice
Where you are really in your element
Not to mention, you don't beat around the bush
Nor do you sugarcoat things
Both of which, are qualities that resonate with me particularly well
Moreover, you always offer a fresh perspective
Whether it be work or personal stuff
Best of all, though, you are ice cool
I seriously don't know how you manage to do it
Because, in these two months, I've been behind you
And there hasn't been a single week
When you haven't been subjected to a barrage of messages
Would I have taken such liberties with you
If I weren't sure how you would react?
The answer is a resounding no
Moreover, not only are you cool with it
You also come up with solutions
For each and every problem
As I write this, things are looking up
And in no small part due to you
I'm extremely grateful to God
For giving me a sister like you
As I said earlier, what would I do without you?
Jun 27, 2023
Jun 27, 2023 at 1:22 PM UTC
It was Monday, June 20th, 2022. My roommates and I are in Paris to see Olivia Rodrigo (in two days). But tonight, I was doing a favor for my great uncle Remy. Taking my elderly great-aunt Yvonne to the airport.
In RL this all happened in French but I wouldn’t do that to you - but just so you know.
“I’ve always thought of Anais as a granddaughter,” Yvonne said too loudly into my phone, which she had picked up and I was afraid she’d drop. She kept trying to hold it to her ear.
She smiled at me with her old lady dimples. “That’s sweet of you to say,” I lied. She doesn’t fool me. She’s not innocuous. She’s as mean as a snake and she doesn’t like ME at all. How did I end up doing this? I asked myself.
“No Aunt Yvonne,” I said as I gently moved the phone away from her ear. “This is a CAMERA call. Hold it out so they can SEE you.” She’s saying a final goodbye to Remy and letting a cousin know her arrival time. As the Facetime call ends, I pocket my phone with relief.
Lisa’s with us (I told her not to come) and she doesn’t speak French. So for her, this whole task is an awkward pantomime. Charles, our escort, drove us to Orly airport and he’s circling in wait to pick us up.
Yvonne walks at a glacial pace, and it took forever to clear security. Lisa and I have special tags allowing us to escort Yvonne to her gate. I offered to get her a wheelchair, but NOOOOO.
“We need to hurry –,” I began, but she interrupted me.
“Why are you wearing that skintight nothing?” she barked loudly, irritatedly, “if I had YOUR figure, I’d hide those tiny ******* (“minuscules seins,” in French, loudly). Heads turned. As I flushed with irritation, she cackled like a witch.
It’s 8pm in Paris and 30.5°C (87°F). I’m wearing a sports bra and two tank tops. Sue me. I wasn’t planning on doing this at all. We were staggering slowly through the terminal when, like a gift from God, an Air France courtesy tram pulled up next to us.
“Get on,” I demanded, “or we’ll miss your flight.” She did - as slowly as humanly possible.
When we finally got seated at the gate, she sent me for bottled water, a sleep mask, a neck pillow, sugarless lemon drops and a Paris Match magazine. “Thank you, my dear,” she said upon my return, baring her teeth at me in what I suppose was meant to be a smile.
“You should come and visit me (in Libreville, Gabon, Africa),” she suggested, “I think there are things I could teach you.” This is like that gingerbread-house invitation we read about as children.
“I can’t,” I said, with feigned regret, "I'm in school,” (I wouldn’t go there if she lived with Timothée Chalamet).
I heard a familiar voice, and I looked up to see my Grandmèr arriving with her usual entourage of 7 or 8 lackeys, a couple of frazzled Air France employees and two gendarmes.
“Yvonne,” she said, pointing to the two Air France employees, “these people will see to you. Say goodbye to Anais.”
“Goodbye dear,” Yvonne said in a fake, fragile voice. I gave Yvonne a half-hearted Paris bises (two kisses on each side) and my Grandmèr shooed me away with a hand gesture and an impatient, “Go, GO.” I’m afraid uncle Remy’s in trouble.
Yvonne and her branch of the family are the slimiest people you could ever meet. They’re billion-heirs (not billionaires - billion-heirs) who (theoretically) stand to inherit handsomely when my Grandmèr dies (I am NOT in that grubby lineup). They’re liars, cheaters and scoundrels who’d stab you in the face for an olive to put in their martinis. They're legal reasons my Grandmèr has to put up with them from time to time - but every interaction is fraught with phoniness.
About fifteen minutes later, Lisa and I are in the car with Charles racing back to Paris for dinner with our roommates. As I texted them to expect us in 20 minutes, Lisa said, “I got bad vibes from that old lady - the way she LOOKED at you when you weren’t watching..”
“YOU,” I said with a chuckle, “are very perceptive!”
Feb 6, 2023
Feb 6, 2023 at 3:38 PM UTC
when the therapist asked
about my family history,
I gave her a history lesson.
I told her that growing up,
my house was a war zone.
I don't remember
what year it was, but eventually
the house collapsed into itself.
that trauma left me scared and hurt
with nowhere to go.
my mother moved out first.
she moved straight into
a life of addiction, and then
she found a new house
in the form of a jail cell.
my father also began
to call a jail cell his home.
he moved into the newspaper,
and then into the database of the
national *** offender registry.
now, we have separate houses
and conflicting beliefs.
we don't share anything
besides that story
and our DNA.
I couldn't tell her
about my family history,
because I don't
have parents anymore.
I have no family.
all I have is history.
Oct 19, 2020
Oct 19, 2020 at 5:12 PM UTC
if I die,
I know that my eulogy
would be read aloud
by my biological family
with tears in their eyes
and sad, solemn voices.
it’s scary to think
that if I die,
my eulogy would be read
by the same people who
once wished for my death.
Oct 19, 2020
Oct 19, 2020 at 11:25 AM UTC
Limericks I - Relatives and Relativity
The Cosmological Constant
by Michael R. Burch
Einstein, the frizzy-haired,
said E equals MC squared.
Thus all mass decreases
as activity ceases?
Not my mass, my *** declared!
###
Ass-tronomical
by Michael R. Burch
Relativity, the theorists’ creed,
says mass increases with speed.
My (m)ass grows when I sit it.
Mr. Einstein, get with it;
equate its deflation, I plead!
###
Relative to Whom?
by Michael R. Burch
Einstein’s theory, incredibly silly,
says a relative grows willy-nilly
at speeds close to light.
Well, his relatives might,
but mine grow their (m)asses more stilly!
###
Time Out!
by Michael R. Burch
Hawking’s "Brief History of Time"
is such a relief! How sublime
that time, in reverse,
may un-write this verse
and un-spend my last thin dime!
###
Time Back In!
by Michael R. Burch
Hawking, who makes my head spin,
says time may flow backward. I grin,
imagining the surprise
in my mother's eyes
when I head for the womb once again!
###
Keywords/Tags: limerick, nonsense, light verse, humor, science, theoretical, physics, relativity, relatives, family, time, space
Apr 7, 2020
Apr 7, 2020 at 12:30 AM UTC
i opened my eyes
i open my eyes
i will open my eyes:
i realized
i realize
i will realize:
* nothing is worth more than family *
TO MY DEAREST ONES:
MY SON NICHOLAS:
fan of dragons, buburacker, properer schelm, the best that happened to me. you are becoming me and yourself
i have been changing through you
indescribable love is in me for you my son.
MY DAUGHTER EDEN:
this verse is about the delight in your cheeks when you're smiling baby
one day i looked into your eyes for a long while this was our closest moment so far
indescribable love is in me for you my daughter
BEZA:
i truly apologize for all the bad things you had to deal with during my active dependency
you're a good mother: god bless you. i love you.
MOM and DAD:
i am made of you and i've been given a lot by you, my parents
TO MY DEAR ONES:
maria and barbara (believers like us)
christoph z. (the man with a great taste in music)
CHRISTOPH R. (wise and pervaded with love) & sandra
ELIAS (try to quit the gaming, young brüderle)
alin & valerie (the twins)
uncle günther (try to reduce your pod smoking much love)
aunt susanne (meet me on christmas much love)
andreas (all best to your mother, may she rest in peace)
cousin tina & lance (blessings by god and shem; an inspiration)
aunt marlies & uncle teddy & and their dog billy (empathy is the best medicine to live a good life)
aunt lotte (have never met you but would like to)
if i have forgotten anyone, please forgive me
God bless all of you
you are my family
MUCH LOVE
ICH LIEBE EUCH
YOURS
MAX a.k.a. MIKEY
Feb 7, 2020
Feb 7, 2020 at 6:20 AM UTC
The relative I am most fond with
I could never thank you enough
for everything that you've done for me
Forever standing by my side
Picking me up when I am down
And making me laugh more than anyone ever has
You are always there to listen to my troubles
And give me the advice I need to hear
I can tell you everything without the fear of judgement I might silently receive from some of my friends
You've helped realize what kind of person I was becoming
And showed me how to break through that wall that was visible to everyone but me
The one that held me back from everything I've ever needed
I know you are enduring some things that only time could heal
You've moved your whole life to this small town
At first it didn't impact you
This is what we've been hoping would happen for so long
But then it hit
And everything slowly became a reality
I can't help but to feel guilty for not being able to help you
You always claim that you're okay
That me listening is enough
And as I write this poem
I realize that just might be true
Again, thank you.
Mar 22, 2018
Mar 22, 2018 at 1:53 AM UTC
I wish I could say something good
About growing old and dying.
For sixty years I had a great relationship
With Mum,
But then that demon Dementia brought her
Living Death.
She thought in the end I’d
Betrayed her,
“Allowing her to be put in a home”.
And then, to rub it in,
She was allegedly abused and badly bruised
By evil members of staff.
Mum passed away
Two months later.
The last time I saw her
She was waiting to be taken to the loo
As I was ushered out.
We all grow old,
Gradually fading away,
Tormented by Diabetes, hypertension
And strokes.
Full of arthritis
And gammy knees.
The list of ills goes on,
No proverbial light at the end
Of the tunnel.
So all I can say is live for
Now.
Make the most of our Share of Time.
Take comfort in passing on the baton
To the likes of Jacob
My great nephew.
Teach him and his peers
As well as we can
To take care of The Earth
A **** sight better
Than we have.
Try to Improve ourselves,
Keep growing
Every single day.
Keep learning
Experiencing
Living
As long as we can.
Paul Butters
© PB 8\1\2018.
Jan 8, 2018
Jan 8, 2018 at 8:21 AM UTC
Christmas with the family
everyone, is there
even our cousin Bertha
causing trepidation, fear
I'll have some eggnog
You under the mistletoe
Our cousin comes to greet you
I think it's time to go
Her mustache always tickles
I avoid her, best I can
tell her, I've up and moved
now living in, Iran
I thought I was safe
Iran she don't believe
She grabbed and kissed me from behind
Now I have to heave
Not on me you wont!
Dashing for the door
*** she's right behind me!
with hairy lips, abhorred!
I tripped and fell you see
Right on top her cat
She dragged me back by my hair
And on top me she has sat
I can only imagine
the horror, twixt her thighs
the smell, and the feel, senses reel
just before, you die
Die I wished so fast
The stench was really ripe
Mystique about kissing cousins
All it was, was hype
Now if our cousin resembled
in any way, shape, of form
Taylor Swift in stockings
I'd definitely, perform
But she is really hairy
And just shaved her head
I think she's looking to get married
But I'd be better off dead
She can marry you!
I think that I'll go gay
with no other escape
that's how, I'll have too stay!
Leave me here alone
I see how you roll
I'm heading out of town
Can borrow some money for tolls
We'll run and we'll hide
in seedy, dank motels
she'll never find us
hiding just south of hell
Hell no she won't
Until she dies
Cuz she's done this before
With other related guys
TMI, and ***
things I don't want to know
she's closer to you, than ever to me
you should be, her next beau
The party is over
The lights taken down
Old cousin Bertha
Is sporting a frown
High and low
she's searched everywhere
we made it too hell
she's not going there
Dec 22, 2017
Dec 22, 2017 at 10:53 AM UTC