#relateable
I am a warrior.
tell me that I am not,
and you will have some fiercely chosen words hurled at you
butnotdirectlyatyoubecauseimnotgoodatconflict.
you see
i have fought many a doubter,
kept at bay
without ever being a shouter.
mostly.
but, I am a warrior,
i go to war every day.
fighting against the overarching flames
entangling me in its’ depth.
forcing me to pry its' grasp away from my throat
giving me just enough air to say 'good morning.'
'I’m fine.'
Feb 1, 2020
Feb 1, 2020 at 2:23 AM UTC
I sit still every day,
Well I mean my mind does,
Anticipating for things
that may not ever come.
My social anxiety has
Twisted it’s venomous
Thorned rose around my
Otherwise unsullied mind,
Poisoning it, cursing it,
Making it unable to communicate,
Having me draw immense suffering
From the excruciation of socialization.
But yet it gives me intensified
deprivation of such activities.
Sometimes I wait for what will never come,
And with each passing minute,
The thorns grow larger as well as sharper,
Getting a larger hold on my ****** up mind.
Dec 26, 2019
Dec 26, 2019 at 12:36 AM UTC
the
thoughts
in my
mind
float
around
until they
come
together.
Feb 19, 2019
Feb 19, 2019 at 10:00 AM UTC
My day ****** Walk down the street and flash smiles at familiar faces. Deep down though you feel that its nothing. People walking past, keeping up their appearance, never letting down their guard or letting people know their true self. No one walks past really caring how your day went, what you are going through, or what is motivating you to keep going. They walk past flash their fake smiles and keep on with their day because just like your day, their day ****** too. It seems like we are on a hamster wheel never-ending, continuous, and just draining. Each day we get on and wear ourselves out, for what? Searching for answers, seeking purpose, guarding our emotions, and hiding our true selves. Why can't we just open up? Why not just let loose and just say whatever, who cares, eff it, because in the end does it really matter? Do the small talk and the fake smiles really make a difference for other people in our lives? Or are we putting on appearances that are unnecessary and relentless and simply just exhausting? We must make other people's days while our days **** day in and day out. We don't need a world full of Oscar the Grouches, but why can't we just try to be real and find true human connection. The more we seek this, the less happy we all become, so why not just stop acting and start being real, so you can help other people realize that their is possibly a light at the end of their tunnel, just like their could be for you. Who knows, your sucky day could just be the start of something great, or not...but you won't know until you push through and make it your journey, your adventure, your week, your day, or even just your little moment. So when you think your life ***** know that issa mood. -ZZ
Nov 15, 2018
Nov 15, 2018 at 2:53 AM UTC
My mistake
Was loving you too hard.
My regret
Was never telling you
That I needed love back.
Oct 20, 2018
Oct 20, 2018 at 10:08 AM UTC
My mind is calm and clear
I don't have anything to hear
Just the warmth on my back
My demons don't give me flack
Thirty minutes of peace in mind
Slowly fading as the gears grind
For a moment I am not depressed or sad
I'm not overwhelmed or mad
Just satisfied that I got the will to not cower
To simply get up, and shower
Sep 28, 2017
Sep 28, 2017 at 9:04 PM UTC
"Not interested. "
"We're sorry but we're not hiring at this time. "
Getting that email
Again and again
Is why i write this rhyme.
What am i doing wrong?
Did i really offend or upend someone?
Why do i keep getting my hopes up?
How do i find the audacity to hope,
Again then i get dumped on like a truck?
Unemployment *****
Jun 12, 2017
Jun 12, 2017 at 9:22 AM UTC
That line in the sand
Overlooking the warm and welcoming sea
I walked up to the line and stared at it intently
And in those moments a war was waged within me, my head and heart both taking opposing sides
Here I'll relay as much of that intense conversation, from beside the battle lines
Brain: we shall not cross that line! For who knows what could be waiting on the other side!
There could be crippling danger or possible injury! Diseases and financial ruin could lie across that line!
And my heart took those sentiments in kind, and then responded with the following reply
Heart: we must cross this line! Not knowing is part of the thrill! And you're right we could be hurt crossing over to the other side! But that's part of life so just chill! There could be Love and adventure, wealth both in money and in experience and enjoyment of our surroundings! We've starved in life for too long and it's time we move forward by boldly leaping and bounding!
I guess, like two face I'm in two minds about my situation
But I'd rather consider my options and move decisively than run blindly in like LEEEEROOOYYYYYY JEEEENNNNNKINNNNS
Aug 7, 2016
Aug 7, 2016 at 1:43 AM UTC
Allow me to rant like a vulture with no carrion, I'm carrying a burden that's stiffer than Shinsuke Nakamura revolving around something simple, my job.
Now let me start of by saying I like my job, it's simple and pays a decent wage
But I'm incensed at myself, it's a never ceasing rage
Because it's natural to want out of the nest, but dear old mom's job market is phasing out
And I'm caught between her and my own nagging self doubt
Because I want to move away, have my own Corner of the earth
But every time I want to get serious about this ambition I think of her being physically or financially hurt
So I'm stuck in a position that makes no sense
Maybe, just maybe that's why I'm incensed
Jul 15, 2016
Jul 15, 2016 at 12:29 AM UTC
I remember a time when the world was just a babe
Innocent and untouched by man
The rolling ever green hills shimmered in the sun as morning dew clung to each blade of grass
A certain kind of serenity comes from the silence of humanity
Aug 17, 2015
Aug 17, 2015 at 9:57 PM UTC
I'm not trying to end my pain
Just bleeding through my pen.
A white page for the dark days,
And a little paper for my wet eyes
My beating heart a kick for this sad song, words burning paper only to be put out by tears
When I write , I tell you a story, of how good will finally take the glory.
Then I'll see a smile crack as you read,
Because you also write to take away your misery
Jun 22, 2015
Jun 22, 2015 at 7:26 AM UTC
So you see,
I've been lost my entire life.
With never ending pathways,
I'm scared to choose,
Not knowing where each leads.
There's too many paths
I'm not sure what to do.
Because you see,
I've been lost in these pathways my entire life.
Apr 29, 2015
Apr 29, 2015 at 10:54 PM UTC
Eyes brighter than the sun that acts as my heat in this cold world,
the smiles on their faces,
their loving embraces,
locked in each-others arms;
I'm tangled in the limbs of roughed-skinned trees and faceless barks.
A slap in the face from the wind is my kiss on the cheek,
their shelter is the roof above their head,
mine the endless blue sky.
Blue is all I've ever known.
I feel blue, I see blue,
faces turn into oceans at the sight of me;
they turn cold, they get scared, they rush at me like strong waves.
I cannot swim, I am drowning beneath the body [of water]
I have admired and adored.
My fantasies and dreams shoot at me with guns and sharp objects;
the one who could've understood me
was protected by those who think they understand him;
I can no longer keep running into the ocean
just to be continuesly thrown back to shore.
He throws me out to sea,
but yells at me when he steps on the sharp pieces of me.
I am only a shell;
I am fragile.
You're yelling at me for hurting you,
you're the one who hurt me.
(NJ2015) All Rights Reserved
Mar 24, 2015
Mar 24, 2015 at 10:37 PM UTC
Arrogant fool across the land
Holds powers in his hand
And rules the weaklings with a sword
Telling them your say must not be told
Killing whom he wishes to ****
Making his people believe it's a daily drill
But some fine men always rebel
Filled with desire to end this hell
Gathering as many people as they can
Driven by their desire to have a free life span
They decide to attack the rotten one
Ending this misery that he calls fun
They destroyed the palace walls
The lair of the corrupted finally falls
The rotten king never put up a fight
For he was just bark and no bite
Nov 5, 2014
Nov 5, 2014 at 11:01 PM UTC
“Depression does not always mean
Beautiful girls shattering at the wrists
A glorified, heroic battle for your sanity
or mothers that never got the chance to say good-bye
Sometimes depression means
Not getting out of bed for three days
Because your feet refuse to believe
That they will not shatter upon impact with the floor
Sometimes depression means
That summoning the willpower
To go downstairs and do the laundry
is the most impressive thing you accomplish that week
Sometimes depression means
Lying on the floor staring at the ceiling for hours
Because you cannot convince your body
That it is capable of movement
Sometimes depression means
Not being able to write for weeks
Because the only words you have to offer the world
Are trapped and drowning and I swear to God I’m trying
Sometimes depression means
That every single bone in your body aches
But you have to keep going through the motions
beacuse you are not allowed to call in to work depressed
Sometimes depression means
ingnoring every phone call for an entire month
because yes, they have the right number
But you’re not the person they’re looking for, not anymore"
Sep 2, 2014
Sep 2, 2014 at 11:14 PM UTC