#relapsed - Hello Poetry

There I was Standing in the shower Blasting music till my ears went deaf Overthinking my life lately You really are useless aren’t you? You think what you say is really important? You think anyone actually likes you? *Youre pathetic* And there I was Standing in the shower Holding the razor blade up to my skin How do you do this? So I rubbed and rubbed and scraped and scraped Till I thought this is stupid I’ll just use the scissors Once I got out the shower There my arm was Long cut along my arm Bleeding and bleeding And stinging and stinging And there I was after almost 2 months of being clean 2 months of a promise to my girlfriend broken This feeling didnt feel bad in fact It felt refreshing I missed this feeling of pain and punishment I deserved it… Didnt I? There I was sitting in bed Staring at the cut Still stung still bled Talking to my girlfriend And as much as I need her comfort I can’t tell her I couldn’t tell her I couldn’t hurt our promise like that So there I sat Guilty and unhappy Watching my gf think we were clean together After ruining my long streak

0

Dec 19, 2025

Dec 19, 2025 at 12:49 AM UTC

giarose

no longer clean

There I was Standing in the shower Blasting music till my ears went deaf Overthinking my life lately You really are useless aren’t you? You think what you say is really important? You think anyone actually likes you? *Youre pathetic* And there I was Standing in the shower Holding the razor blade up to my skin How do you do this? So I rubbed and rubbed and scraped and scraped Till I thought this is stupid I’ll just use the scissors Once I got out the shower There my arm was Long cut along my arm Bleeding and bleeding And stinging and stinging And there I was after almost 2 months of being clean 2 months of a promise to my girlfriend broken This feeling didnt feel bad in fact It felt refreshing I missed this feeling of pain and punishment I deserved it… Didnt I? There I was sitting in bed Staring at the cut Still stung still bled Talking to my girlfriend And as much as I need her comfort I can’t tell her I couldn’t tell her I couldn’t hurt our promise like that So there I sat Guilty and unhappy Watching my gf think we were clean together After ruining my long streak

41

I promised myself, "I won’t go back." But here I am, Drowning in the same old track. It’s not just the cigarettes, It’s the way I loved you, And how you left without a word, Like you never cared, like you never knew. I keep coming back, Like it's some kind of sin, Trying to fix what's broken, But I never win. The smoke in my lungs, It’s the taste of you, Every time I relapsed, I thought you'd come too. But love’s a game that no one wins, And I keep lighting up, again and again.

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Dec 4, 2025

Dec 4, 2025 at 9:31 PM UTC

xlovzxx

love love love

I promised myself, "I won’t go back." But here I am, Drowning in the same old track. It’s not just the cigarettes, It’s the way I loved you, And how you left without a word, Like you never cared, like you never knew. I keep coming back, Like it's some kind of sin, Trying to fix what's broken, But I never win. The smoke in my lungs, It’s the taste of you, Every time I relapsed, I thought you'd come too. But love’s a game that no one wins, And I keep lighting up, again and again.

18

In the quiet of my room shadows creep A heavy heart a soul that weeps. Time ticks slowly like a fading light Each breath a burden each thought a fight. The mirror shows a face I barely know A reflection of pain a heart full of woe. Whispers of darkness fill the air A lonely echo a deep despair. The memories linger like ghosts in my mind Happy moments lost so hard to find. Friends and laughter now distant and pale In this heavy silence I feel so frail. I write my goodbyes on a crumpled page Words spill like tears a heart in a cage. I long for peace for a way to escape But fear grips my heart a tight aching shape. The stars outside seem to dim and fade A world without me a choice I’ve made. But deep down inside a flicker remains A whisper of hope amidst all the pains. I think of the love that I might leave behind The faces that cared the ties that bind. But the darkness is loud it drowns out the light And I’m lost in a tunnel no end in sight. I remember the laughter the warmth of a hug But shadows are heavy and the world feels so snug. I wish I could see the beauty out there But my heart feels so tired too weary to care. In these final hours I search for a sign A glimmer of hope a reason to pine. Yet silence surrounds me a blanket so cold I long for a story that’s yet to be told. So here I stand at the edge of the night With a heart full of sorrow and dimming light. But if someone hears this if someone can see Know that you matter and you’re not just like me. Though my journey is ending yours has just begun Hold on to your dreams face the rising sun. For life can be heavy but love can be found Seek it in shadows let hope be your sound.

0

Jun 25, 2025

Jun 25, 2025 at 8:36 PM UTC

liaAfterdark

Last Whispers.

In the quiet of my room shadows creep A heavy heart a soul that weeps. Time ticks slowly like a fading light Each breath a burden each thought a fight. The mirror shows a face I barely know A reflection of pain a heart full of woe. Whispers of darkness fill the air A lonely echo a deep despair. The memories linger like ghosts in my mind Happy moments lost so hard to find. Friends and laughter now distant and pale In this heavy silence I feel so frail. I write my goodbyes on a crumpled page Words spill like tears a heart in a cage. I long for peace for a way to escape But fear grips my heart a tight aching shape. The stars outside seem to dim and fade A world without me a choice I’ve made. But deep down inside a flicker remains A whisper of hope amidst all the pains. I think of the love that I might leave behind The faces that cared the ties that bind. But the darkness is loud it drowns out the light And I’m lost in a tunnel no end in sight. I remember the laughter the warmth of a hug But shadows are heavy and the world feels so snug. I wish I could see the beauty out there But my heart feels so tired too weary to care. In these final hours I search for a sign A glimmer of hope a reason to pine. Yet silence surrounds me a blanket so cold I long for a story that’s yet to be told. So here I stand at the edge of the night With a heart full of sorrow and dimming light. But if someone hears this if someone can see Know that you matter and you’re not just like me. Though my journey is ending yours has just begun Hold on to your dreams face the rising sun. For life can be heavy but love can be found Seek it in shadows let hope be your sound.

40

My heart is beating so fast Fast like fast Faster then fast The urge is to self harm 29/07/2020 Relapsed... My heart beated fast My mind acted fast

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Jul 28, 2020

Jul 28, 2020 at 9:36 PM UTC

Laibajustlaiba

Relapsed

My heart is beating so fast Fast like fast Faster then fast The urge is to self harm 29/07/2020 Relapsed... My heart beated fast My mind acted fast

8

Im on a soft spin Momma I let the devil in. Mother Mary pray for me, don't let Luther win. its a substance I replace, to get some feelings to swim. in my veins to my brains I love the way he sings. I fell again but not low, I'm able to swim.

0

Mar 31, 2020

Mar 31, 2020 at 9:51 PM UTC

Pearlsmoke

2020

Im on a soft spin Momma I let the devil in. Mother Mary pray for me, don't let Luther win. its a substance I replace, to get some feelings to swim. in my veins to my brains I love the way he sings. I fell again but not low, I'm able to swim.

9

One more sip, I promise, But my sips turned into gulps And I started reaching for bottles instead of cups. One more inhalation I said, But a stick was no longer adequate, So I began buying packs again. One more slit, I begged, But now my pale canvas is dyed crimson red And my drawers, full of rusted blades. To have grown and matured all alone. To have come so far on my own, But all of that seems to have been for naught. The nights start getting sombre once more and my mind begins its repetition of collecting cynical thoughts. A night of relapse Brings upon months of regrets. And I’m pushed back to square one All over again.

0

May 14, 2019

May 14, 2019 at 11:54 AM UTC

Asy07

Relapse

One more sip, I promise, But my sips turned into gulps And I started reaching for bottles instead of cups. One more inhalation I said, But a stick was no longer adequate, So I began buying packs again. One more slit, I begged, But now my pale canvas is dyed crimson red And my drawers, full of rusted blades. To have grown and matured all alone. To have come so far on my own, But all of that seems to have been for naught. The nights start getting sombre once more and my mind begins its repetition of collecting cynical thoughts. A night of relapse Brings upon months of regrets. And I’m pushed back to square one All over again.

18

It's late at night; I'm supposed to be dreaming I want so badly to go into the bliss of unconsciousness I can't bring myself to I've let a river of red flow once again while sloppy rain drops created puddles I've done it again; its all my fault

0

May 2, 2019

May 2, 2019 at 11:46 PM UTC

Blackbirds_Song

Again

It's late at night; I'm supposed to be dreaming I want so badly to go into the bliss of unconsciousness I can't bring myself to I've let a river of red flow once again while sloppy rain drops created puddles I've done it again; its all my fault

5

Tonight I am scared I hear voices They dont like me Tonight I think about all my insecurities The things I’ve done to be loved The lengths I would go to feel wanted Tonight I soak myself in hot water Hoping to drown out the regrets I hold Blinding myself from reality with steam Tonight I pull the covers over my head flushing out the rays of light that are supposed to comfort me Tonight I look at the moon I wonder how many people are like me Whoever is just know I’m sorry Tonight I took one step forward And a million steps back I took my pills to sleep Tonight I relapsed

0

Jul 30, 2018

Jul 30, 2018 at 6:02 AM UTC

luisidek

Relapsed

Tonight I am scared I hear voices They dont like me Tonight I think about all my insecurities The things I’ve done to be loved The lengths I would go to feel wanted Tonight I soak myself in hot water Hoping to drown out the regrets I hold Blinding myself from reality with steam Tonight I pull the covers over my head flushing out the rays of light that are supposed to comfort me Tonight I look at the moon I wonder how many people are like me Whoever is just know I’m sorry Tonight I took one step forward And a million steps back I took my pills to sleep Tonight I relapsed

17

This is the second time now that you have left me. Abandoned, alone, asking myself why. Why am I such a creep? Why couldn't I keep you? This is the second time now that you have hurt me. Emotionally and physically inflicted pain on my self. I've relapsed.- And it's not your fault. Do I just sit here and cry and drown in my own pathetic pity, Just to be hauled up again by you telling me I'm pretty. I shouldn't rely on your compliments to make me happy. You make me happy. Avoiding you is the worst thing I can do. Shut my door and scream "who made me feel this sad?!" And the answer is you. I don't want it to be you. We're all fixated on finding the one, but What if my one has another one? I remember the second time you played for me, The piano piece as beautiful as your big blue eyes That My hobby was to stare into as you talked about nothing, Hoping that one day we would be something. How foolish of me to fall in love With the girl I couldn't go a day without thinking of. Now all the songs that you play, sound as minor as my brain. And because I love you so much, no one can take away that pain.

0

Jun 1, 2015

Jun 1, 2015 at 12:03 PM UTC

jenna-morcombe

E-minor

This is the second time now that you have left me. Abandoned, alone, asking myself why. Why am I such a creep? Why couldn't I keep you? This is the second time now that you have hurt me. Emotionally and physically inflicted pain on my self. I've relapsed.- And it's not your fault. Do I just sit here and cry and drown in my own pathetic pity, Just to be hauled up again by you telling me I'm pretty. I shouldn't rely on your compliments to make me happy. You make me happy. Avoiding you is the worst thing I can do. Shut my door and scream "who made me feel this sad?!" And the answer is you. I don't want it to be you. We're all fixated on finding the one, but What if my one has another one? I remember the second time you played for me, The piano piece as beautiful as your big blue eyes That My hobby was to stare into as you talked about nothing, Hoping that one day we would be something. How foolish of me to fall in love With the girl I couldn't go a day without thinking of. Now all the songs that you play, sound as minor as my brain. And because I love you so much, no one can take away that pain.

24

I binge on poems: Poems about broken glass And broken people. I allow myself A missed meal, A forgotten snack. How innocuous, The blissfully ignorant Rumble of my stomach. But I don't starve, Oh no- I was a puker. My greed takes over In the haze of smoke And the smell of his cologne. I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine. I'm too fat To be sick, Really.

0

Aug 12, 2014

Aug 12, 2014 at 8:14 PM UTC

pyxell

Not Quite Sick

I binge on poems: Poems about broken glass And broken people. I allow myself A missed meal, A forgotten snack. How innocuous, The blissfully ignorant Rumble of my stomach. But I don't starve, Oh no- I was a puker. My greed takes over In the haze of smoke And the smell of his cologne. I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine. I'm too fat To be sick, Really.

21