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#recruitment
Recruitment is a difficult job Surely, everyone knows that It is like chasing a target of 350 in 50 overs However, when you are hiring Investment Bankers The target remains the same But the pitch, which is a belter as of now Suddenly acquires a greenish hue And the ball starts swinging and seaming One mistake, and you are back to the pavilion Meanwhile, the asking rate keeps climbing Thus, the pressure keeps building Yes, that's how tricky Investment Bankers are At least as far as India is concerned However, European Investment Bankers are a different ballgame altogether The target continues to be the same As does the nature of the pitch However, now you have to chase the target in 40 overs!! Well, you decide to steel yourself To bat out of your skins And do manage to hit a few ***** out of the park However, your joy is short-lived As you go for one boundary too many Only to get caught at deep square leg More and more batsmen follow And try their level best To keep the required run rate under control But the wickets keep tumbling Meanwhile, your last hope, Hardik Pandya, arrives at the crease And takes the game by the scruff of the neck While at the other end, Virat Kohli stands strong And the pair manage to build a partnership of 100 However, the European I-Bankers end up having the last laugh As Virat gets run out While going for a quick single And Hardik goes for a maximum Only to get caught Just inside the boundary line By now, you know, as do the European I-Bankers That the game is well and truly up Unless a miracle happens Well, all you can say Is "Better Luck next time" Also, welcome to the world of hiring European Investment Bankers
0
Aug 1, 2023
Aug 1, 2023 at 2:43 AM UTC
Chasing European Investment Bankers
Recruitment is a difficult job Surely, everyone knows that It is like chasing a target of 350 in 50 overs However, when you are hiring Investment Bankers The target remains the same But the pitch, which is a belter as of now Suddenly acquires a greenish hue And the ball starts swinging and seaming One mistake, and you are back to the pavilion Meanwhile, the asking rate keeps climbing Thus, the pressure keeps building Yes, that's how tricky Investment Bankers are At least as far as India is concerned However, European Investment Bankers are a different ballgame altogether The target continues to be the same As does the nature of the pitch However, now you have to chase the target in 40 overs!! Well, you decide to steel yourself To bat out of your skins And do manage to hit a few ***** out of the park However, your joy is short-lived As you go for one boundary too many Only to get caught at deep square leg More and more batsmen follow And try their level best To keep the required run rate under control But the wickets keep tumbling Meanwhile, your last hope, Hardik Pandya, arrives at the crease And takes the game by the scruff of the neck While at the other end, Virat Kohli stands strong And the pair manage to build a partnership of 100 However, the European I-Bankers end up having the last laugh As Virat gets run out While going for a quick single And Hardik goes for a maximum Only to get caught Just inside the boundary line By now, you know, as do the European I-Bankers That the game is well and truly up Unless a miracle happens Well, all you can say Is "Better Luck next time" Also, welcome to the world of hiring European Investment Bankers
Continue reading...
43
In order to achieve results You need to work hard That should be easy enough to understand The difficult part, though Is how hard you need to work Especially when it comes to Recruitment You see, the nature of the profession is such That you can't predict anything Because everything depends on people And every individual is different and unique In his/her own and special way Thus, luck is very crucial When it comes to hiring people There are times When you work out of your skins And still fail to achieve the desired results Because luck is not on your side There are also times When you do the bare minimum of work that's required And are able to achieve positive results Because you are kissed by Lady Luck On both cheeks These contrasting scenarios are common When it comes to hiring Investment Bankers You spend the entire day calling people But very few show interest And apart from those who are not keen There are quite a few Who don't even bother to answer your calls Or call you back There are also some people Who say "I will think about it and get back" Either they get back with a negative response Or they don't get back at all That is to say, they just disappear!! Thus, you have to start all over again And since you also have tight deadlines You are forced to work almost till midnight And sacrifice a few hours of sleep as well Since you have to go to office the very next day And it does not end there Your work forces you to stay at office till 7 PM Almost an hour later than usual And to add insult to injury You get a mild reprimand From the security staff Of the business centre which houses your office For not leaving on time If you thought the worst was over Then you were wrong Because you are forced to work on Sunday as well In order to ensure That at least one resume is sent to the client At the start of the week to follow If only if you had some luck That is to say If even one of the candidates who had said "No" Had said "Yes" instead Then you'd have enjoyed a weekend free of work And got some valuable rest in the process For all your efforts of the previous week Yes, in order to achieve results You do need to work hard But how hard you need to work Is something that is almost impossible to answer When it comes to Recruitment Particularly when you are hiring Investment Bankers
0
Jan 24, 2023
Jan 24, 2023 at 11:38 AM UTC
How Hard Do You Need To Work?
In order to achieve results You need to work hard That should be easy enough to understand The difficult part, though Is how hard you need to work Especially when it comes to Recruitment You see, the nature of the profession is such That you can't predict anything Because everything depends on people And every individual is different and unique In his/her own and special way Thus, luck is very crucial When it comes to hiring people There are times When you work out of your skins And still fail to achieve the desired results Because luck is not on your side There are also times When you do the bare minimum of work that's required And are able to achieve positive results Because you are kissed by Lady Luck On both cheeks These contrasting scenarios are common When it comes to hiring Investment Bankers You spend the entire day calling people But very few show interest And apart from those who are not keen There are quite a few Who don't even bother to answer your calls Or call you back There are also some people Who say "I will think about it and get back" Either they get back with a negative response Or they don't get back at all That is to say, they just disappear!! Thus, you have to start all over again And since you also have tight deadlines You are forced to work almost till midnight And sacrifice a few hours of sleep as well Since you have to go to office the very next day And it does not end there Your work forces you to stay at office till 7 PM Almost an hour later than usual And to add insult to injury You get a mild reprimand From the security staff Of the business centre which houses your office For not leaving on time If you thought the worst was over Then you were wrong Because you are forced to work on Sunday as well In order to ensure That at least one resume is sent to the client At the start of the week to follow If only if you had some luck That is to say If even one of the candidates who had said "No" Had said "Yes" instead Then you'd have enjoyed a weekend free of work And got some valuable rest in the process For all your efforts of the previous week Yes, in order to achieve results You do need to work hard But how hard you need to work Is something that is almost impossible to answer When it comes to Recruitment Particularly when you are hiring Investment Bankers
Continue reading...
67
Failure hurts, no doubt Especially when you are in Recruitment A profession which depends on people As much as India used to depend on Sachin Tendulkar In the late nineties But you know what hurts more than failure? Imagine a T20 match Where your team has dominated From start to finish And still managed to end up on the losing side Due to a couple of bad ***** From your best bowler In the very last over Now, apply the same analogy to Recruitment You have put your heart and soul Into a particular mandate Done a thorough search, through various portals Called up as many candidates as possible Presented quality profiles to the client And lined up interviews one after the other Everything has been worked out To the tiniest detail However, at the eleventh hour The candidate backs out Thus, you have no choice But to start all over again And this happens not once Not twice Not even thrice But a frigging four times However, you are no ordinary recruiter You are a recruiter who possesses the heart of a lion Thus, you prepare yourself for the long haul Determined to do whatever it takes To close this mandate, once and for all And your efforts do pay off Or at least, they seem to For the client, it is a choice Between two worthy candidates However, as always, there is a hitch One of the candidates has started showing signs of cold feet While the other has to take a pay cut That too a big one This mandate now hangs on a knife-edge So, it is not failure that hurts the most But coming within an inch of success After months of hard work Only to have it slip through your fingers At the very last minute
0
Jan 4, 2023
Jan 4, 2023 at 11:30 PM UTC
What Hurts More Than Failure?
Failure hurts, no doubt Especially when you are in Recruitment A profession which depends on people As much as India used to depend on Sachin Tendulkar In the late nineties But you know what hurts more than failure? Imagine a T20 match Where your team has dominated From start to finish And still managed to end up on the losing side Due to a couple of bad ***** From your best bowler In the very last over Now, apply the same analogy to Recruitment You have put your heart and soul Into a particular mandate Done a thorough search, through various portals Called up as many candidates as possible Presented quality profiles to the client And lined up interviews one after the other Everything has been worked out To the tiniest detail However, at the eleventh hour The candidate backs out Thus, you have no choice But to start all over again And this happens not once Not twice Not even thrice But a frigging four times However, you are no ordinary recruiter You are a recruiter who possesses the heart of a lion Thus, you prepare yourself for the long haul Determined to do whatever it takes To close this mandate, once and for all And your efforts do pay off Or at least, they seem to For the client, it is a choice Between two worthy candidates However, as always, there is a hitch One of the candidates has started showing signs of cold feet While the other has to take a pay cut That too a big one This mandate now hangs on a knife-edge So, it is not failure that hurts the most But coming within an inch of success After months of hard work Only to have it slip through your fingers At the very last minute
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49
After a thoroughly enjoyable weekend Which involved watching an animated science fiction thriller Followed by a Football World Cup Final Which turned out to be even more thrilling I had to face the dreaded prospect Of returning to work on a Monday Yes, the notorious villain of the week Which can ensure sleepless nights Even for the strongest souls Well, the day was actually not that bad To begin with, at least After a hot bath Followed by an even hotter cup of filter coffee Prepared by my dear mother, as ever I had a simple breakfast Consisting of a plate of chapatis Mixed with some rather tangy marmalade Thus, I was ready To face the grind of work Or at least, I thought I was The reality turned out to be as different As apples and oranges It started with a few phone calls However, the response was not flattering Thus, I headed to lunch In the hope of making some progress In the second half of the day However, I couldn't have been more wrong The phone calls failed to achieve their purpose As I was unable to obtain slots For the interviews to be scheduled Moreover, I was dealing with multiple stuff At the same time Which proved to be even more difficult Than obtaining a seat in one of the IIMs Time was playing a cat-and-mouse game with me The closer I got to him The more he would evade me As the hours flew by I kept meandering aimlessly Without achieving anything tangible By the time I finally got the hang of work It was already well past 6 PM And I felt as though I had wasted more time Than a certain Sunil Gavaskar had done In his infamous innings of 36 not out, off 175 ***** In the inaugural 1975 Cricket World Cup Thus, I was thoroughly relieved When the day finally ended Returning to work on a Monday Especially after a thoroughly enjoyable weekend Is never good Full stop
0
Dec 19, 2022
Dec 19, 2022 at 10:59 AM UTC
Returning To Work On A Monday
After a thoroughly enjoyable weekend Which involved watching an animated science fiction thriller Followed by a Football World Cup Final Which turned out to be even more thrilling I had to face the dreaded prospect Of returning to work on a Monday Yes, the notorious villain of the week Which can ensure sleepless nights Even for the strongest souls Well, the day was actually not that bad To begin with, at least After a hot bath Followed by an even hotter cup of filter coffee Prepared by my dear mother, as ever I had a simple breakfast Consisting of a plate of chapatis Mixed with some rather tangy marmalade Thus, I was ready To face the grind of work Or at least, I thought I was The reality turned out to be as different As apples and oranges It started with a few phone calls However, the response was not flattering Thus, I headed to lunch In the hope of making some progress In the second half of the day However, I couldn't have been more wrong The phone calls failed to achieve their purpose As I was unable to obtain slots For the interviews to be scheduled Moreover, I was dealing with multiple stuff At the same time Which proved to be even more difficult Than obtaining a seat in one of the IIMs Time was playing a cat-and-mouse game with me The closer I got to him The more he would evade me As the hours flew by I kept meandering aimlessly Without achieving anything tangible By the time I finally got the hang of work It was already well past 6 PM And I felt as though I had wasted more time Than a certain Sunil Gavaskar had done In his infamous innings of 36 not out, off 175 ***** In the inaugural 1975 Cricket World Cup Thus, I was thoroughly relieved When the day finally ended Returning to work on a Monday Especially after a thoroughly enjoyable weekend Is never good Full stop
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53
Recruitment is an utterly thankless job Especially if you are handling an Investment Banking role That too when working in a startup You spend hours and hours Searching frantically for candidates Who possess the requisite skills and experience Followed by days and days Speaking to a plethora of candidates Facing rejection after rejection Watching your own confidence nosedive After almost every conversation And then gritting your teeth and continuing to burn the midnight oil After you finally manage to share a few relevant resumes By the skin of your teeth You breathe a sigh of relief Knowing that your job is half done Everything runs smoothly from thereon Till the offer stage When the candidate decides to back out Having received a better offer elsewhere And you are back to square one However, you resume the search With a renewed vigour And put your heart and soul Into finding a suitable replacement Your efforts are duly rewarded However, misfortune strikes again The candidate develops cold feet And gets retained by his present company You have to go back to the drawing board, yet again However, you refuse to give up And work harder than ever Determined to be third time lucky Alas! Fate turns its back on you, yet again The client proves to be a tad too miserly Thus pushing your candidate away However, you continue to resist bravely Against all odds Determined to prove a point More to yourself, than anyone else However, history repeats itself For the fourth time in a row And you are left bruised and battered In the face of a year full of bad luck Which has brought you a record seven backouts And all you can do now Is to pray, and keep praying For 2022 to end as soon as possible Recruitment, is indeed an utterly thankless job
0
Dec 6, 2022
Dec 6, 2022 at 1:29 AM UTC
Recruitment Is An Utterly Thankless Job
Recruitment is an utterly thankless job Especially if you are handling an Investment Banking role That too when working in a startup You spend hours and hours Searching frantically for candidates Who possess the requisite skills and experience Followed by days and days Speaking to a plethora of candidates Facing rejection after rejection Watching your own confidence nosedive After almost every conversation And then gritting your teeth and continuing to burn the midnight oil After you finally manage to share a few relevant resumes By the skin of your teeth You breathe a sigh of relief Knowing that your job is half done Everything runs smoothly from thereon Till the offer stage When the candidate decides to back out Having received a better offer elsewhere And you are back to square one However, you resume the search With a renewed vigour And put your heart and soul Into finding a suitable replacement Your efforts are duly rewarded However, misfortune strikes again The candidate develops cold feet And gets retained by his present company You have to go back to the drawing board, yet again However, you refuse to give up And work harder than ever Determined to be third time lucky Alas! Fate turns its back on you, yet again The client proves to be a tad too miserly Thus pushing your candidate away However, you continue to resist bravely Against all odds Determined to prove a point More to yourself, than anyone else However, history repeats itself For the fourth time in a row And you are left bruised and battered In the face of a year full of bad luck Which has brought you a record seven backouts And all you can do now Is to pray, and keep praying For 2022 to end as soon as possible Recruitment, is indeed an utterly thankless job
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49
These are tough times As far as Recruitment is concerned Of course, Recruitment is never easy Especially when you work in a startup But a year like 2022 With backout after backout And consequently rework after rework Really takes the biscuit Here I am Without a single closure In the last ten frigging months And thus having my confidence shredded to pieces One would think That I badly need a break In order to recharge my batteries You, on the other hand Decided to add to the burden By assigning me, not one But three extra mandates Mandates that are not only difficult But also rather time-consuming And require dealing with a client That has tested our patience On multiple occasions And on top of that I have to come to office as well Of course, it is all smooth sailing As far as the onward commute is concerned Thanks to the ever reliable AC local The return, however, is a different ballgame altogether Because you always make me late Thus, I never manage to catch the AC local And by the time I reach home I end up hating you to the core You are lucky magic doesn't exist Because if it did You would have been dead a long time ago I would have seen to that Anyway, coming back to reality I have always been tolerant But, as my grandfather would say There is a limit to everything And if you are expecting me to work on Saturdays as well You are exceeding that limit And then I will have no choice But to leave, once and for all As I've already mentioned I have always been tolerant However, my tolerance now runs thin
0
Nov 4, 2022
Nov 4, 2022 at 1:51 PM UTC
I Have Always Been Tolerant
These are tough times As far as Recruitment is concerned Of course, Recruitment is never easy Especially when you work in a startup But a year like 2022 With backout after backout And consequently rework after rework Really takes the biscuit Here I am Without a single closure In the last ten frigging months And thus having my confidence shredded to pieces One would think That I badly need a break In order to recharge my batteries You, on the other hand Decided to add to the burden By assigning me, not one But three extra mandates Mandates that are not only difficult But also rather time-consuming And require dealing with a client That has tested our patience On multiple occasions And on top of that I have to come to office as well Of course, it is all smooth sailing As far as the onward commute is concerned Thanks to the ever reliable AC local The return, however, is a different ballgame altogether Because you always make me late Thus, I never manage to catch the AC local And by the time I reach home I end up hating you to the core You are lucky magic doesn't exist Because if it did You would have been dead a long time ago I would have seen to that Anyway, coming back to reality I have always been tolerant But, as my grandfather would say There is a limit to everything And if you are expecting me to work on Saturdays as well You are exceeding that limit And then I will have no choice But to leave, once and for all As I've already mentioned I have always been tolerant However, my tolerance now runs thin
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49
After hours and hours Days and days Weeks and weeks And months and months Of sheer hard work You would have hoped To achieve at least one closure In a year That has been disappointing at best And abysmal at worst With backouts becoming as common As India beating Pakistan in a Cricket World Cup However, Lady Luck disappoints you For the third time in a row As the sheer miserliness of your client Pushes your candidate away And it is ultimately you Who ends up being the loser But that's not the worst part The worst part is Having to start all over again With a rather limited pool of candidates Still, it is not in your nature to give up Especially after having come this far So, you make a concerted effort To find fresh candidates And after a lot of searching Followed by a lot of calling You finally land a good candidate But the client rejects him in a flash Undeterred, you continue searching However, the already limited pool of candidates Starts shrinking rapidly And just when you're about to lose hope You manage to find a decent profile However, the client rejects this as well Quicker than the speed of light And with every rejection Your confidence dips Slowly but surely Until you can stand it no longer And scream at the top of your voice "Investment Banking Hiring Is Not For Me!"
0
Oct 28, 2022
Oct 28, 2022 at 9:55 AM UTC
Investment Banking Hiring Is Not For Me
You have no idea Absolutely no idea About the amount of work That goes into closing a position Especially if it is an Investment Banking role Scouring portal after portal In order to hunt down the right candidates Making call after call And subsequently facing rejection after rejection However, as we all know "There is always light at the end of the tunnel" So, you somehow find a way Yo snag some decent candidates Who may not be "perfect" But fit the role well, nevertheless When the closure ultimately happens You heave a huge sigh of relief Knowing that your hard work has paid off However, there is a twist in the tale The candidate receives another offer Which turns out to be more lucrative Than the one provided by your client And he gladly takes it Therefore, you are back to square one Of course, backouts are common nowadays So, you work harder than ever Determined to turn things around And your efforts are duly rewarded However, just when you are sure That nothing can go wrong this time The candidate develops cold feet And chooses to stay in his present company instead Boom! Just like that Your hard work has gone down the drain, yet again But you refuse to give up Believing that it will turn out to be a case of "third time lucky" However, as always, you are wrong This time, the candidate is genuinely interested But the client is too stingy Thus pushing the candidate towards taking up a better offer And you are left in the lurch, as ever The only difference being That this time, there will be no comeback
0
Oct 21, 2022
Oct 21, 2022 at 9:03 AM UTC
A Tale Of Backouts in Recruitment
You have no idea Absolutely no idea About the amount of work That goes into closing a position Especially if it is an Investment Banking role Scouring portal after portal In order to hunt down the right candidates Making call after call And subsequently facing rejection after rejection However, as we all know "There is always light at the end of the tunnel" So, you somehow find a way Yo snag some decent candidates Who may not be "perfect" But fit the role well, nevertheless When the closure ultimately happens You heave a huge sigh of relief Knowing that your hard work has paid off However, there is a twist in the tale The candidate receives another offer Which turns out to be more lucrative Than the one provided by your client And he gladly takes it Therefore, you are back to square one Of course, backouts are common nowadays So, you work harder than ever Determined to turn things around And your efforts are duly rewarded However, just when you are sure That nothing can go wrong this time The candidate develops cold feet And chooses to stay in his present company instead Boom! Just like that Your hard work has gone down the drain, yet again But you refuse to give up Believing that it will turn out to be a case of "third time lucky" However, as always, you are wrong This time, the candidate is genuinely interested But the client is too stingy Thus pushing the candidate towards taking up a better offer And you are left in the lurch, as ever The only difference being That this time, there will be no comeback
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43
After a rather enjoyable holiday During which I had loads of fun Playing my favourite mobile video game Reading an Agatha Christie ****** mystery And last but not the least Having a long afternoon siesta I was ready to resume work Even if it meant going to office Which involved a long commute By the dreaded Mumbai locals Well, getting to Dadar was not an issue However, it was then That my troubles started There was a wait of ten minutes Followed by a bit of chaos As I barely managed to board the train Getting thoroughly squeezed in the process By the time I reached office I was drenched in sweat The second summer of Mumbai Having well and truly begun Things did not improve As I started work I was really hoping That my hard work over the last few days Would eventually pay off However, I was in for a shock With every call I made My confidence nosedived As candidate after candidate Failed to pick up the phone Those who did respond Were either not interested Or didn't possess the requisite skills After a rather welcome break In the form of an excellent lunch Packed by my mother I was hoping to turn things around However, the status quo remained And by the end of the day I had drawn a blank As far as my CV count was concerned Thus, it was quite a relief To leave the office behind And return to home sweet home Of course, there was the small matter Of the return commute To be taken care of And once again, Fate showed its hand As Dadar continued to be the centre of chaos And I kept missing local after local While waiting for an AC local That eventually never showed up Thus, I was forced to board an ordinary local instead Thankfully, it was all smooth sailing At least until Ghatkopar arrived And I was squeezed once more This time though, it was brutal Luckily, the next stop was mine And the icecream that I had At a shop just outside the station Was sufficient compensation For whatever damage Ghatkopar may have caused Mental as well as physical After a rather uneventful auto ride I was home at last And I must admit That however good or bad the day may have been It has at least given me the inspiration I needed To write this poem
0
Oct 6, 2022
Oct 6, 2022 at 1:07 PM UTC
A Rollercoaster Of A Day
After a rather enjoyable holiday During which I had loads of fun Playing my favourite mobile video game Reading an Agatha Christie ****** mystery And last but not the least Having a long afternoon siesta I was ready to resume work Even if it meant going to office Which involved a long commute By the dreaded Mumbai locals Well, getting to Dadar was not an issue However, it was then That my troubles started There was a wait of ten minutes Followed by a bit of chaos As I barely managed to board the train Getting thoroughly squeezed in the process By the time I reached office I was drenched in sweat The second summer of Mumbai Having well and truly begun Things did not improve As I started work I was really hoping That my hard work over the last few days Would eventually pay off However, I was in for a shock With every call I made My confidence nosedived As candidate after candidate Failed to pick up the phone Those who did respond Were either not interested Or didn't possess the requisite skills After a rather welcome break In the form of an excellent lunch Packed by my mother I was hoping to turn things around However, the status quo remained And by the end of the day I had drawn a blank As far as my CV count was concerned Thus, it was quite a relief To leave the office behind And return to home sweet home Of course, there was the small matter Of the return commute To be taken care of And once again, Fate showed its hand As Dadar continued to be the centre of chaos And I kept missing local after local While waiting for an AC local That eventually never showed up Thus, I was forced to board an ordinary local instead Thankfully, it was all smooth sailing At least until Ghatkopar arrived And I was squeezed once more This time though, it was brutal Luckily, the next stop was mine And the icecream that I had At a shop just outside the station Was sufficient compensation For whatever damage Ghatkopar may have caused Mental as well as physical After a rather uneventful auto ride I was home at last And I must admit That however good or bad the day may have been It has at least given me the inspiration I needed To write this poem
Continue reading...
70
What do you really want from us? We've been working our arses off For hours and hours Days and days Weeks and weeks Months and months And we've faced numerous obstacles along the way Obstacles placed by the market By the candidates to whom we've been speaking And by even yourselves!! In spite of all these hurdles We've done our best To ensure that you get the right people For the requirements you've assigned us However, the way in which you reciprocate our actions Is bewildering, to say the least As far as decision-making is concerned You're even worse than Hamlet! You reject a lot of quality resumes Without any rhyme or reason You change your requirements As per your whims and fancies And then cry foul When you lose a few good candidates Due to your inexplicable actions You put roles on hold at random And keep the best candidates on tenterhooks Waiting for an interview that'd never happen And then blame them for dropping out eventually You demand resumes at the speed of a cheetah And provide feedback at the speed of a tortoise All in all, you ensure that we tear our hair out By its very roots Every waking moment of our lives In order to satisfy every whim of yours But will you truly ever be satisfied? Let me ask you again What do you really want from us?
0
Aug 29, 2022
Aug 29, 2022 at 11:53 AM UTC
What Do You Really Want From Us?
Returning to work After a rather enjoyable weekend Is hardly something to rejoice about Especially when you are handling Recruitment And particularly when you work in a startup A startup that supposedly gives you freedom Freedom for the employer, that is To keep nagging his employees From time to time But not freedom for the employees To work as per their convenience You feel like a balloon Pressed on all sides By the boss, candidates and clients One false step And Boom! you are back to square one And left with a mountain to climb At the speed of light You know, though, what's the worst part? It's the uncertainty Whether it be in finding relevant resumes Or speaking to a bunch of candidates And trying to convince them Or, if you do somehow manage to convince someone Waiting for him/her to share the CV Is like watching that infamous innings of Sunil Gavaskar In the 1975 World Cup It kills you from inside Such that, you just can't wait For a miracle to happen Which involves the client Uttering the magic words "This position is temporarily on hold"
0
Aug 16, 2022
Aug 16, 2022 at 8:41 AM UTC
Returning To Work After A Rather Enjoyable Weekend
Hiring For Investment Banking roles Is like wading through a swamp At first, it may appear as easy As winning the French Open is, for Rafael Nadal Since there is a decent pool of candidates Waiting to be tapped into However, as the old cliche goes Appearances are deceptive There are numerous pits In the form of various factors That influence the interest levels Of each and every candidate Such as, the job location The salary The bonus payout The appraisal cycle The scope of the role The reporting manager The brand And most importantly, the work culture It requires a truckload of skills As well as a fat lot of luck To maneuver your way through the swamp And successfully avoid these pits Which lurk in the shadows Waiting to catch you unawares One slip-up, and you may lose a candidate Every time that happens You'll find yourself sinking into the mud Slowly, but surely The harder you try to escape The deeper you end up sinking By the time you find that "perfect candidate" Your face is all that will remain above the surface And the only thing that can save you Is the client uttering the magic words "This position is now on hold"
0
Jul 15, 2022
Jul 15, 2022 at 12:38 PM UTC
The Swamp Of Investment Banking Recruitment
Why does trouble always have to come in twos and threes? As it is, I am in Recruitment Which is itself a rollercoaster life Through the peaks and troughs of Hell For all my hard work I get a few scant rewards Which are like a few drops of water In the mighty Pacific Ocean And turn out to be as ephemeral As the life of a mayfly Just as I am dealing with all this My wisdom teeth decide to crash the party in style Bringing chaos and mass destruction From all sides The dentist takes one look at my mouth And confirms my worst fears The wretched wisdom teeth have to go There is no escaping it Moreover, it has to be a surgical extraction Why does trouble always have to come in twos and threes? On the D-Day My head is spinning madly My brain is on overdrive And I find concentrating on work more difficult Than even predicting the stock market However, to my pleasant surprise The surgeon is so calm and reassuring And the process is so smooth That is, apart from the pain induced by the anesthetic injection That I get a feeling as if all my troubles have ended However, I could not have been more wrong After a few hours The effects of the painkiller begin to wear off Slowly, but surely Eating food feels more awkward Than a conversation between a boy and a girl Who have just broken up And to cap it all Talking isn't exactly pain-free either I might've enjoyed a bit of rest today But come tomorrow, I need to get back to work Which involves a truckload of calls And as per the dentist I shouldn't talk too much However, as far as Recruitment is concerned There is no such thing as "too much" Why does trouble always have to come in twos and threes?
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Jun 28, 2022
Jun 28, 2022 at 12:51 PM UTC
Why Does Trouble Always Have To Come In Twos And Threes?
Why does trouble always have to come in twos and threes? As it is, I am in Recruitment Which is itself a rollercoaster life Through the peaks and troughs of Hell For all my hard work I get a few scant rewards Which are like a few drops of water In the mighty Pacific Ocean And turn out to be as ephemeral As the life of a mayfly Just as I am dealing with all this My wisdom teeth decide to crash the party in style Bringing chaos and mass destruction From all sides The dentist takes one look at my mouth And confirms my worst fears The wretched wisdom teeth have to go There is no escaping it Moreover, it has to be a surgical extraction Why does trouble always have to come in twos and threes? On the D-Day My head is spinning madly My brain is on overdrive And I find concentrating on work more difficult Than even predicting the stock market However, to my pleasant surprise The surgeon is so calm and reassuring And the process is so smooth That is, apart from the pain induced by the anesthetic injection That I get a feeling as if all my troubles have ended However, I could not have been more wrong After a few hours The effects of the painkiller begin to wear off Slowly, but surely Eating food feels more awkward Than a conversation between a boy and a girl Who have just broken up And to cap it all Talking isn't exactly pain-free either I might've enjoyed a bit of rest today But come tomorrow, I need to get back to work Which involves a truckload of calls And as per the dentist I shouldn't talk too much However, as far as Recruitment is concerned There is no such thing as "too much" Why does trouble always have to come in twos and threes?
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Am I a human being? Or am I a robot? You assigned me five mandates Three of which, are more difficult Than even clearing the IIT-JEE And even the remaining two Pose a considerable challenge Though far from insurmountable Nevertheless, what makes you think That I have the capability The skills And the stamina To successfully pull off such a mammoth task? Am I a human being? Or am I a robot? You expect quality You expect speed And you expect numbers At the same time Is this not like having the cake And eating it too? Am I a human being? Or am I a robot? I am working on five mandates And racing against time Every single day In order to send a couple of resumes For each mandate No matter how hard I try I always end up falling behind That too by a mile What makes you think That I can successfully handle even three mandates Let alone five? Let me ask you again Am I a human being? Or am I a robot?
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Jun 21, 2022
Jun 21, 2022 at 11:37 AM UTC
Am I A Human Being?
There are times When you work your hardest When you burn the midnight oil Yet, it is not enough Because, the pile of work besides you Grows taller and taller Till it outgrows Mount Everest As you process this And arrive at a decision That the first thing to do Is to take a nap In order to clear your head And ensure your mind is fresh You receive a call From that hated client Your nemesis-in-chief For years and years A client that has pushed you To the very brink On a number of occasions A client that has kept you on your toes Only to pull the rug from under your feet At the eleventh hour As you take the call You hope against hope That they are bringing good news But your hopes are brutally dashed As they inform you With apparent smug satisfaction That your candidates Who have been interviewed After more than a month of inaction Are all rejected Thus, you have to start all over again And **** Just like that All those months of hard work Have gone down the drain And that is not all This is merely an addition To the gargantuan pile of work That lies on your desk As you take another look at it You feel ready to pass out To all those who've read till here This may come as a shock However, the reality is This is just a day in Recruitment
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Dec 14, 2021
Dec 14, 2021 at 11:09 PM UTC
A Day In Recruitment
For days and days Weeks and weeks Months and months You work the hardest you can You burn the midnight oil You sacrifice a lot of things That you hold dear Whether it be cricket Whether it be mobile games Whether it be online shows Whether it be exercise, even! After all your sincere efforts You are surely bound to think That success would follow you However, you are in for a rude shock Far from being rewarded with success You are instead punished With failure after failure As your efforts go down the drain One after the other Until all you are left with Is a massive pile of zeroes A reflection of your  rejection By the candidates By the clients And, last but not the least By your laptop itself! Recruitment is such a devil
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Nov 30, 2021
Nov 30, 2021 at 10:49 AM UTC
Recruitment is such a devil
Another day goes by When you work your hardest And yet, you are left with nothing To show for your hard toil All those hours you spent Searching for the right profiles All those hours you spent Calling as many candidates as possible Another day goes by When the world of Recruitment Lures you into its ***** With a lot of false promises Only to grab you In a vice-like grip At the eleventh hour And try and choke you into submission In the same way An anaconda coils itself Around its hapless prey And squeezes it to death Another day goes by When you toil away Like there is no tomorrow Searching for candidates In every nook and cranny But, with every candidate It is the same story They are not interested Not for this particular client A client which calls itself "mid-market" But is actually rather small Some candidates are quite friendly Some are just polite Some, downright rude And others don't even bother To pick up their phone The bottomline is This client just won't sell And as yet another day goes by I wonder what have I done To deserve such an unwanted burden Upon my hapless shoulders
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Aug 11, 2021
Aug 11, 2021 at 12:34 PM UTC
Another day goes by
Recruitment without Naukri Is like a cobra Stripped of its venom A tree without leaves A musician without an instrument A Mutton Biryani without the mutton A laptop without a battery I can go on and on But you get the gist, right? Recruitment without Naukri How does it even work? Of course, there are other portals LinkedIn, Monster, Indeed TimesJobs, Shine, Updazz Dice, Hirist, Instahyre But do they even come close To matching the pin-point accuracy The sheer amount of detailing The refreshing practicality And finally, the user-friendliness That Naukri brings to the table? The answer to that, unfortunately Is a resounding no Recruitment without Naukri? Can it be managed? As mentioned earlier There are other portals But will your boss be ready to pay For any of them, apart from LinkedIn? The answer to that, unfortunately Is again a resounding no Recruitment without Naukri Coupled with a miserly boss Is like chasing 350 in 50 overs On a seaming wicket at Leeds All your hard work at the nets Goes to the drain As you keep trying to hit boundaries And end up getting clean bowled instead Ultimately, the loser is not the client Not the boss either It is you, and only you
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May 20, 2021
May 20, 2021 at 2:22 AM UTC
Recruitment without Naukri
What do you know, really? About the midnight oil I burn About the sacrifices I make About the long waits I endure As you find numerous excuses To delay my salary and incentives About the pain I endure In order to share resumes on time Even as my stomach muscles burn What do you know, really? About what goes in my work About the amount of time I spend With my eyes glued to the screen Searching every nook and corner For the ideal candidate Even as my eyes protest vociferously About the calls I make Hoping to convert every one of them Into a successful lead But instead ending up in rejections Even as the pressure mounts on me To find at least two good resumes By the end of a long day A tedious and totally exhausting day What do you know, really? About the various situations I have to deal with in my life About the efforts I put in To ensure that work is not affected At any cost, whatsoever About my Asperger Syndrome And the difficulties it puts me in Whether personal or professional The list goes on and on You may be a Founder And me just a team member But as far as my ordeals are concerned What do you know, really?
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Mar 19, 2021
Mar 19, 2021 at 12:20 AM UTC
What do you know, really?
As every day begins My heart beats with anticipation With every call I make There is a spring in my step However, all good things come to an end As the day wears on The white clouds fade away And are replaced By monstrous, jet black clouds With every call I make My shoulders droop My eyes lose their lustre My hands begin to shake My voice begins to falter As the rain of despair begins My mind loses its focus I lose all sense of direction The pile of work on my desk Grows taller and taller Until it outgrows Mount Everest Just when I begin to think That things can't get any worse My boss cranks up the pressure To such a level That my heart beats faster and faster I begin to splutter and choke My mouth begins to foam My face starts turning blue With a rapidly shaking hand I stagger towards my water bottle Tripping and almost falling on the way Eventually, with a supreme effort I manage to prise the bottle cap loose As I take a gulp of water I spill a few drops on the floor Very slowly and steadily My breathing begins to return to normal But not before my heart is filled With a deep desire To hear the three magic words "You are fired"
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Jun 10, 2019
Jun 10, 2019 at 10:46 AM UTC
Recruitment Kills
Being a recruiter is never easy Hours and hours of research To identify the right people Followed by a truckload of calls Every time a candidate says no It is you, who loses The client piles on the pressure Your boss keeps on nagging you Like a fly that constantly buzzes around your table While you are having lunch Your confidence collapses Like a house of cards When you pick up the phone Your hands shake Your face is filled with drops of sweat Your heart beats faster than ever You hastily key in ten digits As you click on 'Dial' You wait with bated breath Counting from one to twenty As your call is received You mumble and stammer The other person snaps "Wrong number" And bangs the phone You smack yourself on the forehead How could you make such a silly mistake? As you dial the right number You summon every last ounce of your courage As the candidate answers In a bored and haughty voice You introduce yourself in a suave manner As you take him through the job Your smooth talk is interrupted With a rude "Not interested. Thank you" This opens the floodgates For more and more rejections Until you are left, with nothing to do But to pick up the pieces of your broken heart Being a recruiter is never easy
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Apr 1, 2019
Apr 1, 2019 at 11:57 AM UTC
Being a recruiter is never easy
A first exclamation Is it an approximation? Of my imagination Spoken determination We are all in delusion Sinking possibilities Acting on this activation A brain improvisation A flowing dedication Mounted city destination Lacking in co-operation Mounted evaluations Investing the cognition Is not the only direction? Embracing the investigation My convergence recruitment Not even words uncovers The layered entrenchment Sunken lost in introversion A day dream of absolution
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Mar 13, 2016
Mar 13, 2016 at 12:31 PM UTC
Daydream of Absolution (Additional Spoken Audio)