#rapping
My will is breaking, My body's shaking
My brain is screaming, forcefully gating
Myself to this heater, my classification is stuck at Keter
Falling further, faster, deeper
Is this all just one big dream, or
Is this a dark nightmare?
Or maybe the warm air
Around me's turned to red noise, static,
Fear response is automatic
If I don't move from this spot then I can't
Relapse this dark habit
I can't move
I can't breathe
I can't hold on
My brain's slipping
Thoughts of red lines across my skin
Consume my every waking whim
I'm shivering like it's December
As if I'm beneath the weather
But I'm not
It's real hot
Underneath this heated spot
I can't stop
I can't stop
Please forgive me if I walk
This twisted tightrope once again
Letting down all of my friends
Making sure that it's hidden
Until I can't keep it within
Anymore, it bursts through my psyche
Burning up from deep inside me
A lust for something frightening
And faster than lightning
I have got a blade in hand
Body moves without command
I can't help myself
I fight myself
For control of my flesh, and
My conscious SCREAMS at my defiance
Screeching, "how DARE you defy this?"
And I'm trying
Oh, I'm trying, oh God,
Please forgive my weakness
Thoughts are stronger than my will,
I feel like I'm falling ill,
Like if I keep on fighting I'll pass out, or worse, I'll lose the duel
I try to think of something
ANYTHING **TO STOP THIS HELL,
BUT YOU CAN'T ESCAPE YOUR MIND, AND
YOU CAN'T ESCAPE YOURSELF**
Stop it,
Please just stop it,
Can't you see how wrong this thought is
Your friends and family beg you not to hurt yourself, but honestly
You're just a giant coward
with no regard for health
If you can't fight through these urges, you won't make it by yourself
So you burden others with your struggle
As if that's stop this drug, you'll
Never survive on your own, 'cause
Your weakness is to the bone
***Only thinking of yourself,
A ****** up mademoiselle
Just keep writing, you lunatic
Maybe you'll wear yourself down***
No! That's not what being said!
Stupid voice inside my head
I'd rather DIE than lose control over my body and mind, instead
I'll rhyme with all my might, as
That's my only way to fight, and
It pushes you to somewhere you
Can't control my hands
My hands
This body is mine
And I'd tell you that you can't take what's not yours but then I realized
For the first time
The scariest reality
A truth I wish I hadn't seen
'Cause even though I hate and antagonize you,
You're me.
But I'm slipping, oh I'm slipping
And I can't seem to break free
I know I'm so close to breaking
Maybe letting go is more healthy?
No,
Not thinking that anymore
That thought goes straight out the door
Lock the handle, bar the windows,
Barricade the corridors
I won't let you reach me
If anything, I'll make you see
That becoming this parasite was the biggest mistake you'll make,
A petty biohazard, that's all that you are
A poisoned, greedy, harmful, needy thought and nothing more
***That's not true,
I'm part of you,
You can't hide from your own thoughts,
You're a monster, you're insane and
I'm just your entourage.
Don't act all high and mighty, like I'm doing a disservice
You said it yourself, you're a coward, you deserve this
So just quit your ********
You've been itching
For the pain and you know it
Sometimes you just need a push
A seed for you to start growing***
SHUT UP!
SHUT UP!!!
**I WON'T LISTEN TO YOUR LIES
YOU'RE A DEMON PLAYING TRICKS ON ME,
THE DEVIL IN DISGUISE
LEAVE ME BE, JUST
LEAVE ME BE,
FOR GOD'S SAKE, YOU'VE ALREADY WON
I'VE LOST MY FRIENDS TRUST, RESPECT, AND LOVE, SO
JUST UNDERSTAND I'M DONE!
I'M CURLED BENEATH A HEATER,
SPOUTING RHYMES TO KEEP MY SANITY
SO JUST LET ME SIT.**
You can't make it worse than this.
Feb 2, 2020
Feb 2, 2020 at 3:44 AM UTC
Who the hell you think are to be demanding me a poem?
Mozart of this art like all these written no-gimmick lyrics are my profession,
Woah, that flow's a shard piercin' you and while you're bleedin', I tell you a fine confession:
This is freedom of expression, this is me out of depression, physics is nowhere near a suggestion for reason behind the never-yet-reached depths of my perception.
Boy you be readin' these ill lines by a writer so sublime, you couldn't fathom or imagine what it's like to be behind the steerin' wheel of the high-paced drive up in my mind,
All these spitting free-verse like that's skilled, yeah sure but they're nowhere close to flowin' poems so potent it could blind,
You can play this like over to cope, you'll need to pause and rewind not one, two, three but at least four times.
This is be that sick spittin' raw **** you aint heard on the radio,
This be that thick **** masculinity half gentleman half wild-lion ROAR and make those ladies hoes,
This be the new age slim shady yo, basic rappers way too slow, Mumble rapping on a track and reading **** like BABY PRO,
Na **** that mainstream **** dawg this be that underground vicious ****
Boy I've been slitting throat downtown before rap ever was for the ***** *****
I'm that middle-school rap era, where gangsters could mean black but also Vinnie Paz, shout-out to the most-feared real-deal Gladiator straight from that Sicily pit,
I love Paz for his delivery, flow and anti-gimmicky lyrical potency like no other G that's hit that's hit the scene,
I love Tech for the flow man, Em for the show and love Minaj for puns and Hopsin for being the pioneer or bringing REAL RAP back, he's a cunning industry player but **** HE GOT FLOW. Chris Webby for the raw masculinity-vibe progressive **** spreading those vibes getting the world to hear his messages,
I love Bugzy and Devs and a little Wiley doesn't hurt,
Grime Scene's a beautiful off-shoot of rap that unlike mumble crap is an old beautiful tree that grew straight from the dirt,
Imma leave it here, let me on this site so your ***** can squirt,
If you're a guy you'll wish you were me but turnin' me down's buryin' what you know be that legit **** that like a Phoenix'll rebirth.
Dec 17, 2018
Dec 17, 2018 at 12:59 PM UTC
Mirror mirror on the wall
Tunnel vision on the flaws
In the scale of things it’s unimportant
So no talking but it’s still an intrusive thought
Tried hard to correct it
But nothing was effective
No-one else seemed so obsessed with it, things were desperate
Until the voice crept in
I can help you, trust me, you’re ready
It seemed dangerous
But it said to have faith in it
The secret is to just be empty
Didn’t know if it was wise to listen
But what could it hurt to try?
P1:
And at first it was working
But then things were emerging
Cracked lips and Tired eyes
I’m hungry with no appetite
I’m shivering and shaking, and I tell myself it’s fine, but
You can’t fool your body, you can only fool your mind, yuh
Empty
I just need to be empty
Hide from anybody who’ll prevent me
Just fill up on water and shame
No, I’m not hungry, I just ate
I’ve developed a taste for this
Endure the neverending ache
Convince myself I’m in control and it’s not
All that voice that makes me sick
C:
Inside it’s empty
Ana- I know it’s wrong
I’m looking but I can’t see myself
Inside it’s empty
Ana- I know it’s wrong
But it’s so hard to stop it alone
V2:
Been getting even worse
All the days begin to merge
Just a blurry haze and now it’s
Almost second nature to ignore the urges
Can’t trust my own nature
Every calorie a failure
Gotta push the intake down every day
‘Cause the voice comes back to say
You want to eat? Bite your tongue
Don’t want to stay an embarrassment
just have to stomach it
They don't know what you want
A tug of war against common sense
don’t wanna believe that I’ve overstepped
P2:
But it’s so overwhelming
And I hope no-one can tell
‘Cause the numbers keep decreasing
This ordeal is becoming routine, check
Arms back neck thighs **** it in and Pinch my sides
The scales are betraying me, the mirror is a lie, yeah
Numbers
It all comes down to numbers
I know it’s wrong but
Just because you know you’re colorblind
doesn’t mean you can see the colors
Fine, I admit I’m addicted
But the hunger feels good, how do I quit this
I know I could die, I’ve seen the statistics
But the voice is with me through thick and thin
Bridge:
I can reach out
To someone not like me
If you ask for help it doesn’t make you weak
I can reach out
ignore what the voice tells me
I can help my mind learn to trust my body
*Credit to JaidenAnimations & Boyinaband
Jun 10, 2018
Jun 10, 2018 at 1:56 PM UTC
When words fail,
And your eyes tell you how you feel.
Like how I love a little fairy tale,
Or when the world disagrees.
You're someone I never thought,
Who will change me.
Someone like me,
Someone you never thought you could be.
Rhymes flow out of me,
Like everything is just a memory,
But memories with me,
Are also worth remembering.
May 3, 2018
May 3, 2018 at 9:55 PM UTC
your voice flows like
warm honey, smoothing
all the pain away
other times it has
lemon undertones,
an elusive something on
the tip of your tongue
Oct 9, 2015
Oct 9, 2015 at 11:17 AM UTC
Fireworks thunder like
Stars long gone,
And I’d remembered
Something Grandpa once said –
“The world’s a wonder,
But home will always be
Home.”
And the fireworks still thunder,
But I’m the star long gone,
As I’d remembered
Something my son once said –
Innocent and earlier mirror’d,
His eyes were all that’d speak,
“Please.”
So now, I knock, atop the “thunder”
Calloused oak ‘fore, “father,”
As I discover, come echo’d only answer –
Whispers brought the cold, and the scent
Orchids wrought, “tell him to hurry;”
Once and an only gasp I’d hear too late.
Aug 25, 2015
Aug 25, 2015 at 10:45 AM UTC
Inspiration from making amazing quotations
The nation's defending its life with its shields
But the swords are all rusted the kingdom's been busted
and the ******* are bathing in gold that they steal
While the people are lying their babies are crying
their rhythm is dying 'cause heartbeats are gone
But they carry it trying to stop themselves crying
as they can't do nothing but watch on and on
As the bankers get richer the poor men get poorer
the ones in the middle are learning to steal
Where before they just borrowed now they got new sorrow
but still they don't know that they ain't down at heel
They think they are poor so they vote in the richest
just hoping the ******* will keep them in funds
While the genuine destitute lie in the street
and the taxes are funding those twats' cummerbunds
There's a baby who's crying not just 'cause she's some brat
who ain't got no ice cream she's dying of cold
Yes it happens in streets prob'ly near where you live
it isn't just something in stories of old
There are people out there in the gorbals and barrios
the projects the banlieues the hoods and the schemes
Where their lives are the ghetto there is no way out
but to hope or to rap or to wing on a dream
They ask why you ain't reading you try but it's killing you
trying to provide for a family of two
When your mother's alone lying slumped on the sofa
and work w-w-working is all you can do
When the **** do you think I'm supposed to be doing
this **** that you say I cannot live without?
If you listened to lyrics from songs you disparage
you might start to feel an iota of doubt
They're intelligent, eloquent, more so than you
with your old boy school accent and ballot box blue
Can you rap, can you rhyme, can you keep it in time
can you tell of the **** that your family's been through?
No you sit in your office and scoff at the people
who spend their whole lives in a world that is real
They don't give a **** if you judge them or not
but they just want to shout at you
FEEL, ****** FEEL
Jun 23, 2015
Jun 23, 2015 at 11:54 AM UTC
Back to the scrawling pad
a cheap red notebook
wide ruled, with the perforated pages in it
in case I wanna punch one out easily
Those moleskin daze were measly
Thinking I'm creative and potent
but spending two years
to fill those tiny pages
Please, help me
reinvent the feel and manifest it
to real, accomplishment
Songs, verse, or vice grip words
to change a nation with
- to start a new nation with
Bokonon Bhikkhu
hurling Pikachus down from Mt. Olympus
land on the concrete with lemming splat
Get the metaphor?
I don't. Make your own up
I just an absurdest
A poor boy humming Queen
and writing rap atrocities
Nah, the rap "apocalypse"
minus all the apostrophes
Write so much anything anyone says
from now until oblivion
was just quoting me!
Jan 4, 2015
Jan 4, 2015 at 12:38 PM UTC
High off love,
Rich estate.
Feeling so high,
I suffocate.
Foolish cries
Its's too late
Your truth; lies
won't escape.
Love is a pain,
so is Fate.
Up side down,
******* Great!
Smoked all night,
staying up late.
Your tidal waves
neighbors wake!
You get yours,
give or take.
Gotta walk up
running late.
It's 8,
did it again,
before I ate.
Won't happen again,
I'm already late
lets just wait.
Giving me strength,
testing my fate.
we ain't friends,
Love, turned hate.
it all depends.
you coming back,
never too late...
Great.
"Yes" today,
but that was,
Yesterday,
another day.
Today, you don't
feel that way.
leaving you alone,
go away!
Changed mind, like
every other day.
Its your fault,
I'm this way!
leave me alone,
No, stay away!
Where you going?
don't walk away.
I love you...
Fine! be that way.
to be honest;
Hate you anyway.
Broken hearts; broken records -
let them play.
Either that, or
watch'em slip away.
Pulling you in
to get pushed away.
Screaming things
I shouldn't say.
Words digging deep,
getting carried away.
X's crossed out,
pages thrown away.
You did this.
I did that.
Try the other way?
It doesn't matter,
matter of fact.
Trying to stay,
But, you over react.
2 holes in drywall,
imagine that.
through heart break,
we fight back.
I'm falling apart.
keep pushing back.
10 steps forward
I'll be right back.
staying on course,
running off track,
this is so wack!
Blocking my flow,
that's bull-crap.
Just focus, and
before you know.
I'll get it back.
May 6, 2014
May 6, 2014 at 9:42 AM UTC