#raging
#
*Oh how you always end up
in my bed, when you are most hurt--
My hands on your gorgeous hips
as I pull you fully, down on to me..
A true descending.. into
the further-reaches of you
In to places previously untouched
As I hold you there
As if for an eternity
Till you are no longer
unable to feel me..
Until you are fully
able to feel me*
#
Aug 30, 2021
Aug 30, 2021 at 8:08 PM UTC
Sometimes,
Love is like diving into the raging river,
It keeps throwing you
into the cold and turbulent current
and you find yourself
being ****** into a whirlpool,
swirling down to the river bed
It scours out
the traits and traces of you
It tests your grit
everyday
and Everyday you find the courage
to dive again,
tread the waters
and just keep learning
to stay afloat...
Feb 22, 2021
Feb 22, 2021 at 8:33 AM UTC
We never have the essential answers, to the questions in our daily lives.
God takes the lead and remains in control.
God touches our hearts beyond wishes untold.
I know you’re hurting so very much; I want to help but I don’t know how.
This storm of yours is barreling toward you; sweeping you up and spinning you within.
You hide behind your strength for others;
but you my friend need someone too!
I can’t imagine, in my wildest dream the intensity
of your pain; the complexity of your damaged will!
To lose so many whom you love so dearly, has got to be
robbing your emotion.
When your insides feel like a drowning sorrow,
When your days and nights regret tomorrow,
When your eyes tear up behind their sockets,
(because you refuse to let your feelings show).
When you just don’t want to be the “old” you,
When you can’t see yourself making it through.
When you just can’t seem to gain any control.
When you feel like giving it all up for good,
When your pain and hurt is misunderstood.
Always remember what I am saying.
Dearest friend in “my whole wide world”,
Our Heavenly father is right by your side.
We have our pain and rock hard endings.
We have our trials and tribulations.
We have our moments of dis-repair.
We have our moments when we just don’t care.
But you serve a God who is all around you.
Holding you close in your raging storm.
You may not see it; you may not feel it.
But God is standing faithfully behind you;
waiting for you to Trust him and fall.
Jan 29, 2021
Jan 29, 2021 at 10:59 PM UTC
My eyes flick shut and time has passed me by
Your liquor and money had caught me in a high
There's something burning inside me now
Unaware I could have been pure til the rain
White dress draped around me like a chain
But no, I must tear you off my skin
Your words have made me doubt my own spirit
Bent me over like a punch to the gut
But you could not gauge the glow inside me now
I will drown you with fire, I vow
I am not water or a flower or a delicacy
I am a raging star, a wrathful beauty
And you will watch as I push you- you fall
Until all you are left is a mere regret
And I will have -in full- paid my debt
Jun 1, 2020
Jun 1, 2020 at 8:56 AM UTC
And I'll run until I can't remember
the weight of your hands on my hips
until I can smell your shampoo
and not wish to run my hands through your hair.
I'll run until I forget
what it was like to stand still and be held
so close to your beating heart.
Until that afternoon
where I was pinned underneath you
fades completely from my memory.
Yes, I'll run and scream and fight
until I can walk beside you
without a heart of lead carving ruts in my wake
without casting glances
and admiring your beauty.
I will rage and burn
until I can see a bougainvillea
without immediately hearing your voice;
your careful singing in my shower,
your laugh, your low, stolen whispers.
And I'll keep weeping and wishing
that there were no kisses to forget,
no notes to burn or keep,
no flowers that crumble in my grasp,
no shirts that smell like you,
no jigsaw hollows where you still fit perfectly.
Wondering how long it will be
before the songs don't make me think of you
before the kitchen is just the kitchen
and my bedroom is just a bedroom.
before I fulfill your wish
and we are just friends again.
Friends who once snuck off,
held hands,
talked at midnight,
shared a bed (albeit only once)
shared favorite memories,
played guitar in the dark,
laughed at their own shy ways,
almost kissed,
almost became more.
Almost made it.
I will grind myself to dust,
if only it makes it easy to swallow
the bitter break of a first love,
a stolen heart, returned only to shatter
in my grasp. We hugged quickly, spun apart
when all I wanted is to cry and hold you
the way a dying man clings to the lifeboat.
Feb 28, 2020
Feb 28, 2020 at 11:25 AM UTC
It’s hurting
I can’t make it stop
You can’t take away the pain
I want it to stop
But it keeps clawing at my heart
It keeps raging in my mind
It keeps rotting in my veins
So,
I let the drugs take away the pain
Nicotine flows through my veins
And I escape.
Jul 24, 2019
Jul 24, 2019 at 10:37 AM UTC
what a funny little thing.
stubborn, at most.
reckless, always.
plowing through
all the excuses.
raging and carefree.
not at all clueless,
but
decidedly
fearless.
Jun 22, 2019
Jun 22, 2019 at 12:17 PM UTC
i see the fire raging
in your belly
&
the steel gunning
down your back.
i will not run from the danger,
i want every piece of you.
Jan 23, 2019
Jan 23, 2019 at 12:32 PM UTC
these silhouettes strolled across, through the creaking bridge,
walked on it as if they didn't notice the noise,
stepped on it like they knew which path to take next,
but one thing they knew was that they had to cross over
without knowing it would break and took them down
and fed them to the raging waves below.
Jan 11, 2019
Jan 11, 2019 at 8:12 AM UTC
She was a raging inferno,
Touch her and perish,
A roaring inferno,
Burns your soul to ashes.
As she raged against the dying light,
Crazy, I craved only for her,
Praying she would go gentle in the night,
My eyes blazed for her like a meteor.
Within me, her anger raised sensual emotions,
With my gentle love, I desired to tame her,
That was my firm resolution,
And one day,on her lava soil would bloom our little flower.
Oct 5, 2018
Oct 5, 2018 at 6:10 AM UTC
Guys like broken girls
because they are no pillow princesses.
They are raging animals in cages
waiting for any bite
of raw meat they can put their claws in.
Aug 5, 2018
Aug 5, 2018 at 5:48 PM UTC
Dancing under this beautiful moonlight
My wings brought us high as the mountains could reach;
Listening to the songs of the wind whispering in our ears;
As the stars illuminated us with its light
And through our hearts beats in unison
Our love grew strong as time passed;
For I looking in your ever green eyes shines
Our memories, our histories of hardships
Like raging waves of ocean's wrath upon us;
Like you looking in my ever violet eyes
Brings back memories of how we hold our hands
Under those cherry blossoms in spring's time
Of the time we survived the stormy seas;
Of us looking up in the night's sky starry view
And of us looking through our own breath in the winter's cold night
Like you said "you are my darkness and i am your light"
It is a fate of two lovely souls of opposites
Truly one and extraordinary yet never old;
Yet the story of our love was heard from the heavens and hell
Eldest, my master, the God of Gods was disgraced;
Hades, your father, the king of the underworld was disgusted;
For I an angel, a guardian of Eldest's kingdom
Fell in love with the darkness' son;
Our love caused chaos and wrath in the heaven's peace;
And made hell burn a thousand times its self in anger;
Eldest, whom was displease, cast my death
Upon my soul and separated us with his command
Like I, a flower dying with its own roots
Withered and had slowly losing its own life;
Yet as we stand forth and supported each other
Our hearts connected even after death's command
As the reaper stand and awaits to take your soul,
To take you back to the place you belong;
There is nothing we could do but accept this inevitable
As our beating crimson heart cries silently;
For even the Wraths and the Gods do us apart
Our fathers and masters hated this love;
Like the night meets the light at dawn;
Our souls will find its way back in each others arm;
Even us can not cease this burning desire
To never let go of our ties;
In this world or in our illusions
It is our story worth dying with;
Even the history goes on, we shall live in eternity
As the story of the night that meets the light at dawn.
Jul 25, 2018
Jul 25, 2018 at 6:28 AM UTC
The world spins
It spins and spins
We never question
Or doubt or fear
What would happen
If it suddenly halted
We are too busy
Walking and talking
Loving and hating
To think about words
That we don't want to hear
The end is inevitable
My sorrow grows
It grows and grows
I never question
Or doubt or predict
What would happen
If it suddenly stopped
I am too busy
Sulking and sobbing
Raging and ranting
To think about anything
That could be a bit joyful
Happiness is invisible
Nov 29, 2017
Nov 29, 2017 at 10:46 PM UTC
They began to ask me,
"Do you remember?"
My mind floods with my own idiosyncrasy
As I become a raging storm center.
They must know about a past mistake.
I break into a cold sweat,
And await the full blast of my creeping headache.
I have only one thing from this life I do not regret.
When I looked into those eyes,
I found my long-lost joy.
Though if this is love, I must be wise;
When my heart gets involved, I'm like a target to destroy.
Mar 13, 2017
Mar 13, 2017 at 1:27 AM UTC
There were clouds in her eyes,
From dreams she longed to share.
But instead rain fell from her open skies,
In rolling drops called tears.
She held on to all her dreams, for fear,
That no one would ever really steer,
Their planes into her stormy life to see,
Her land, her skies, or her deep blue sea.
When she once opened up herself to show
The world she had let inside her grow,
The ships and planes all turned away.
All cowards, fearful of a little rain.
However, over time it all evaporated.
That lonely rain got cloaked.
By plane's that were wreaked,
And their black puffs of smoke.
Her eyes no longer held that thunderstorm.
But instead they have changed form.
Now behind her eyes rests a burning forest,
That engulfs everything with an ember- a promise.
She isn't that fearful girl anymore,
Who wanted people to come in and explore.
Now, instead, she is a raging, flowing wildfire,
Who will never again cry
For those who run from her attire.
Sep 24, 2016
Sep 24, 2016 at 1:57 PM UTC
You could find someone better, trust me I'm someone who hides their feelings beneath their sweaters I'm a distanced person who spaces out even in the moments that are most important. My anxiety keeps me from saying the things that I want to blurt out so badly but cannot because of the words that others will slap down on me. Trust me I'm not someone to stand beside. Toxicity engulfs me often I'm barely pushing through this sticky path that was created out of hate my anxiety is always entertained do you not understand the pain that these people have caused me to feel!?
Insane.
I always thought I was, because my thoughts often turned from happy to horrific once something bad had been said, well what did you expect?! For me to be perfectly happy afterwords and forgive you as if you had never meant the words that twisted and slurred around in my mind, holy **** it's about time you learned your place bullying is not something that can be accepted so easily so stop doing it for ***** sake I cannot begin to describe the way I hated myself for so long! I'm damaged even now from back then and it's been so long! I know you don't give not one single **** It's depressing really, how empty I had and have felt because of you..
Let me try to define this kind of pain for you since I know you'd never be able to handle the things that went through my mind after what you had caused me to feel. You see I have always been trapped inside of a shell, even when I was very young I was shy but you made it a point to deny it's all in my mind you said to me a billion times but did you know that I was dreaming of dying, drowning, suffocating, nearly injuring myself as the tears would fall down. I was a suicidal case thanks to the things people had forced me to endure you thought it was funny but would you still if you knew how violent I had become towards myself?!
Just try to imagine now, you have a child and will probably have more what will you say to them when they come rushing in through the door, their angering tears slapping down against the floorboards as if they were raindrops will you let them know you were not a victim!? I bet you will lie and tell them something to confide in I hope for their sake you do because if I knew that my parents caused others to feel such ways well ******* I bet I'd have went insane knowing I was living in the same house as a perpetrator. How could you do that, mother!?
Aug 1, 2015
Aug 1, 2015 at 9:32 PM UTC
There are things about me
that nobody knows.
Which can't be said
through a poem or a prose.
The wars I have fought
and the ones I still fight
behind these walls
never see the light.
I have lost my life
many a time
and have been brought back
through reason and rhyme.
It is cold and harsh
in the battlefield.
Words are my weapons
and my shield.
Everyday is a battle
behind these walls.
Silence is the response
to my cries and calls.
I am lonely
and I am scared.
I remind myself that
nobody cared.
The trick is not
to let anyone know.
To hide your emotions.
Don't let them show.
It hurts so much.
But I am brave
and I remind myself
love is all I crave.
Yet, it never ends,
the war behind these walls.
Not unless, of course,
one of us falls.
The wounds and scars,
they never heal.
Misery is all
I ever feel.
It tears me down,
part by part
until there's nothing left
of my weary heart.
It shatters my spirit
but no one shall know.
The war behind these walls
shall never show.
Jul 12, 2015
Jul 12, 2015 at 6:05 AM UTC
You tried taking us down but you missed
I tried but I really can't put up with this
Your hair, your eyes
your face, your lies
your breathing
it's annoying me
you say you're sorry
it doesn't show
you tell your story
but we all know
it ain't true
so here's what we're gonna do
we'll turn on the black light
so they can see your stains
it's high time that I fight
and clear up my name
go and look pathetic for the rest of your days
but under the black light we all know that you're fake
you tried to fool us but it didn't work
and you tried seeking sympathy but it only got worse
you spin your lies
like you're spider
you twist the truth
just like a lawyer
but we know you now
and this is how it's gonna go down
we'll turn on the black light
so they can see your stains
it's high time that I fight
and clear up my name
go and try to make us look as bad as you could
but I assure you you'll miserable for good
Mar 8, 2015
Mar 8, 2015 at 9:38 AM UTC
So shy and little you seem
raging and violent you are
a huge ball in constant motion
what a noisy star you are
yet so small and peaceful to gaze at
so shiny and beautiful you make the sky
Nov 12, 2014
Nov 12, 2014 at 8:59 AM UTC
The sensuous drool from the luscious lips
Dripping on your chin, and confluence
At the ***** where, eternal love resides
The glistening stream of consciousness
Only the two conscious souls are waiting for
To take a leap of faith, and drenching the souls
With the crystal clear consciousness of love
Where passion resides at the bottomless bed
Entwined like the eel, slithering to further depths
Exploring the pearls of sensuality, cocooned in shells
Hidden away from the worlds, only for the One to
Take away all the spoil, the bandit of the heart
Who uses the sword, with not the intent to ****
But he uses it deftly to rip open more passion
Leaving the mermaid wanting for more
She is still unsatiated, and the game has just begun
Gasping for breath, underwater,
In synchronization like the ballet, they both emerge
For a while, oblivious of the world
Concerned only about the treasures, deep down
And together they dive down, again,
The bandit is always eyeing the treasure to be exploited
Ready to drown, along with treasures of the heart
© Amitav (Radiance)
May 17, 2014
May 17, 2014 at 1:21 PM UTC