#punishment
I'm a good person, I swear
I hold my friends when no one's there
I give my heart, I give my care
So tell me why I'm ****** somewhere
I help the weak, I calm the cries
I wipe the tears from their hurt eyes
I tell the truth and try not to lie
Yet still I'm told I'm born to die
Because a book says who I kiss
Could cost my soul eternal bliss
As if my love is venom's bliss
As if her lips are empty
Because a verse, because a line
Because men claimed their God was mine
They taught me, love was some design
To drag my spirit out of line
They taught me every ache I had
Each broken thought, each season bad
Was proof that I was born to sad
Too wrong, too ***** weak, and bad
Religion took my tender years
And filled them up with guilt and fear
Made every mirror insincere
Tell me, "I deserve it here."
It taught me if I loved a girl
The gates of heaven shut and curled
Like kindness mattered less than words
Written to wound a softer world
It taught me that struggle was a stain
That hurt made me less sane
That surviving all that private pain
Still left me branded all the same
But I am not the sin they preach
I'm not the shame their sermons teach
I'm not the hell they love to reach
Whenever someone lives outside their speech
Im kind, Im human, I am real
I know what hurt people feel
And if their God would burn that still
Then maybe hell's more honest still
So if their heaven hates my heart
And tears soft souls like mine apart
Then let their holy judgment start
Religion made me hate myself
But I was good from the start
But I am kind, and I am true
I've lived through hell and made it through
If love like mine, they still undo
Then hell will have to make me room
Mar 22
Mar 22, 2026 at 8:35 AM UTC
Oh, my vivid memory—
there is no break in your whisper
You wake my ear each night.
Leave my mind alone…
I know my fate is set in stone.
I despise myself in broken rage;
no prayer can heal me, no breath of sage.
My body trembles now.
Through empty streets I drift, afraid.
***** money in my wallet—
a horrid crime, some might call it.
I thought it would free my soul, somehow;
But instead it hunts me down.
Sweet, untold mistakes I’ve made.
The fog creeps closer.
My heart hides behind a masquerade.
If the whisper will not forgive me,
how could I forgive myself?
Perhaps I
stand at the edge of my own judgment…
Would God forgive me?
Bless me?
Or laugh at my foolishness?
I scream and people see me—
dead inside,
Yet unmistakably alive
as the whisper begs me to
jump.
Mar 14
Mar 14, 2026 at 3:04 PM UTC
The breeze ran cold last night
Under raven duvet, memories went gray.
In empty hills where my desires lay;
Rain flooded my rationale insight.
I was cold even before the winds blew,
And rain came—an obligation too.
Aug 24, 2025
Aug 24, 2025 at 12:20 PM UTC
Insolent girl
Wicked girl
How stupid and silly you are!
Don’t talk back to me girl
Turn your back to me girl
It is I who chooses when to look from behind.
She’s a Harlet, a *****
A temptress, scarlet rag.
With no clothes, no prows,
No ears, nor rose,
what man would grant you his horse?
You went away, you played
You stole then stayed
And now with your fellows
you swing on the gallows stage.
Oh Mary what have you done?
Look upon the faces of those you took from,
And followers, boys, so young.
So short is life’s string
No more song will you sing
Just dancing in the company of crows.
Jul 23, 2025
Jul 23, 2025 at 4:24 AM UTC
The punishment,
Mental torture turning into thin red lines.
There's no one to punish me anymore,
So who should?
I look around
And see
Me.
Apr 3, 2025
Apr 3, 2025 at 11:01 AM UTC
Some nights, she calls for me still. I listen for the luring hum of her temptress chant, her bewitching ballad, her siren song. “Let us bathe together again under the clever moon,” she sings. “Let us join hands once more and we shall stain the night with truth!” Lady Justice beckons me nearer, but I turn my eyes to the sun. Though my spirit yearns for the atonement in her touch, my heart no longer kneels to her carnal call. I thank her for her mischief and I kiss her vengeful lips for the last time. Farewell, my sweet Goddess of Divine Retribution! I close my eyes, and when I open them again, she is gone— effervescent in the amaranthine midnight.
Mar 30, 2025
Mar 30, 2025 at 12:50 AM UTC
What have I done?
I asked myself
Ten feets distance
Wasn't enough
Darkness is contagious
It eats you like a prey
But I guess it's late now
Apologies won't cut it
The silence was worth it
The pain is welcomed
That way it feels humane
It doesn't ****
The ones you love
I guess it finally
exploded
Mar 2, 2025
Mar 2, 2025 at 10:02 AM UTC
California is getting punished,
For something unapparent.
Because they have the breath of Hell,
Burning through their front doors.
So for the love of the west coast,
Somebody save Malibu.
Jan 10, 2025
Jan 10, 2025 at 2:21 PM UTC
I wish you were a better liar
Because I'm able to see right through
This half baked gaslight fire
"It's not me, it's you" you spew
Then sit back and admire
The hell you put me through
Knowing your favorite reaction's about to transpire
A knee **** wish for an end I feel is past due
Triggering thoughts that are dire
And when I think I've reached peak punishment
It's nothing new
To be kicked when I'm down
Pushing the bar ever higher
©2024
Nov 18, 2024
Nov 18, 2024 at 6:01 AM UTC
You make me itch
Like a wound half healed
I scratch and pick.
Sideling up to you,
trying to sneak back into love
I almost do.
keyword I
not you.
You make me itch
Now look I'm bleeding again.
Nov 14, 2024
Nov 14, 2024 at 9:51 PM UTC
I sat there, drained of hope,
Searching for a way to elope,
Wishing for the heavens to speak,
To let my punishment begin.
Take me to the Eternal Judgment,
To slave like a dog as penance for my sins.
I'll unveil the vices I hid through my skin.
Offer me that tragic death-
Good God, I'll give you my life;
Please demand a sacrifice.
Bring the whole realm;
Find something to feast upon,
The Darkest Shade of Sin;
As I point "I am right here"
There are no lords and kings,
When the ritual begins.
There is no sinful innocence than my unmarked misdeeds.
In the madness and tears:
Of my vivid death scene,
Only in the depths of my mortal coil;
My soul will find its clarity.
Oct 27, 2024
Oct 27, 2024 at 2:39 PM UTC
The scent of sin
Is ripe in man,
Yet the vision isn’t there.
The scent of sin
Rains burning sand
Yet the sinner fails to care.
The scent of sin
Consumes the land
For at nothing does it halt.
The scent of sin
Is spread by hand
For they build top pillars of salt.
Oct 5, 2024
Oct 5, 2024 at 9:44 PM UTC
Father God
Doesn't spare the rod
Or spoil
Any boi or goil.
Sep 17, 2024
Sep 17, 2024 at 3:25 PM UTC
Tried it
Can't do it
Can not be done
So it can't be undone, I'll prove it
Picture this for a minute
Picturesque hides what's not picture perfect
Don't run
It may pay off to listen to the verdict
Incompetent parents apparent
Cinderella's sisters type fit
Concrete clown shoes
Encased in discount mob cement
Bounced check
Inherited emotional debt
My symbolic account
Won't reveal, just conceals most of it
A Zeppelin wreck
Unnecessary resentment, no regret
I 86'd forgiveness
And I'm not looking to forget
The living, breathing embodiment
Of "The crime doesn't fit the punishment"
"Be wary the quiet ones"
I also embody that statement
I am what they meant
A broken degenerate
And no matter my efforts
It's as permanent as I get
I hope this clears things up a bit
©2024
May 22, 2024
May 22, 2024 at 12:16 AM UTC
If you don't mind Mr Betts,
Can I call you Mr Betts?
Yes? Great
Mr Betts,
I'm going to keep this brief
i'd like to go through a few Q&A's
Off the record as always
And no apologies
~~~
Have you ever tried not being a priick?
Or attempted to not mess up shhit?
Every feeding and helping hand,
Innocently presented,
Got bit
Your past can't always be the culprit
The future shouldn't be viewed as unimportant
That opens the door for thoughts of forfeit
Forced to be reactant
Bilt a bridge to get over it
The craftsmanship is always immaculate
Admired from entrance to exit
Then, in the very next moment,
There's always a head turn to confirm it
A ***** and Gomorrah double take to make sure the thing stayed lit
Though you've never turn to stone or **** a brick
It's not a one time incident
I'm sensing that punishment is no longer a deterrent
It isn't, isn't it?
The troubling news is...you guessed it
Everyone's reclaiming their investment
Or eating the cost, willing to take the loss just to be done with it
Setting a telling precedent of embarrassment
One with an abundance of resentment
All the while, this battle internal is constant
Brought on ironically by an antidepressant
Raging against tendencies of a suicidal mindset
It's crazy how ugly things tend to get,
Within a quarter of a heart beat minus a minute
In other words, it's instant
Good luck, you're gonna need it."
©2024
Apr 15, 2024
Apr 15, 2024 at 1:08 PM UTC
knowing full well
the pain it causes
and the knowledge
that it will only
make it worse
i still bite
and pick and pull
at that jagged edge
of my finger nail;
more often than not
the finger is left
bleeding and aches
for so long after
Mar 25, 2024
Mar 25, 2024 at 9:22 AM UTC
Listen...
If this goes down like the Christians are sayin'...
Ain't no one getting in and god knows it
That ash hole loves it
He's super into punishment
That and judgment
Those two seem to be his favorite
Bringing true enjoyment
So arrogant he wrote it down,
A confession in print
It's obvious no pastor is oblivious,
There's just a willingness,
A complete lack of acknowledgment
They preach benevolent
All I read is maleficent
All I see is a battlefront
A holy deficit
How he treats his creation,
Love and compassion destructively absent
It's an embarrassment
Secondhand, none from firsthand involvement
Unless you think abandonment is an accomplishment
Or fraudulent is some kind of complement
Yeah, I've read it
I wouldn't have taken it public
It's a narcissistic story of sin and atonement
Punished for the failure of a first experiment
Because one decided to be disobedient
Now ungodly pain will accompany pregnancy,
Fuuck the pregnant
Punishment doesn't fit the crime,
But don't question it
That's how it had to be,
But I don't understand that argument
Does the almighty have a limit?
They say no,
There's nothing he can't do
So,
This is exactly how he CHOSE to do it
And when it comes right down to it,
If this shiit I hear is legit,
Let's see if he can feel regret
Will we
Get any
Apology
For this kind of "heaven sent" treatment
Force it to admit to all of it
Even if it takes an eternity,
I'll have all of eternity to do it
©2024
Mar 16, 2024
Mar 16, 2024 at 6:36 PM UTC
It's simple...
There's no heaven, there's no hell,
Only good and evil
Atrocities carried out by people
One of the biggest cover-ups is under the steeple
...and even still,
Just to shiit and giggle a little,
Let's say da bible is factual
Then heaven is empty & hell is full
No one can live up to that mantle
Not a single soul
And if you do, by some miracle
Don't forget about his branding of a sin original
I'm not getting tossed in hell
To burn eternal
Because I couldn't unravel
Some self fulfilling riddle designed to be impossible
And as a whole
"Where the Fuuck've you been?" That's all we'd like to know
I'll go one step further, I want him held accountable
As the trinity or individual
I can't wait to ask questions that make a "GOD" uncomfortable
To watch him back track and stutter a little miiiiiiiiiiight be worth it all...
...okay, here we go...
©2024
Mar 5, 2024
Mar 5, 2024 at 4:00 PM UTC
I mean, it's kinda funny
The punishment for life is the death penalty, that's literally the only true guarantee
Alterations void the warranty and there's no return policy, which I guess if fine honestly
But you can only rotate the tires so many times before it no longer matters
A crash will become eminent and just like the windshield, your future also shatters
No one's looking for a clock with a erratic tick and a broken tock
A polished **** advertised with a tiny sign as a shiny rock
Occasionally found screaming at nothing as frustration fills the body and muddies the mind
A full breakdown, stuck behind a roadblock, this time one of your own design
Trained by history to take every word heard with a pinch of salt
Cold and bitter, but is it by default?
Is it truly all my fault?
...why was I in such a hurry to be an adult...?
I'm gonna go make a fort and sort this all out
©2024
Mar 1, 2024
Mar 1, 2024 at 8:17 PM UTC
I awaken mornings feeling upbeat,
Praying my prayers set like concrete.
But No!
This repetitive routine has no soul.
Perhaps I'm praying wrong.
Perhaps He prefers a song,
A Hallelujah chorus
To **** of the Anti-Christ.
(but the Creature lives... it ***** up all our hopes).
I'll pray again tonight:
***Now I lay me down to sleep.
And pray that God won't willfully keep
That blakened spot he calls his soul,
Dispatched to Hell for our repose***.
Feb 19, 2024
Feb 19, 2024 at 1:12 PM UTC
I don't mock the prison that is religion I unapologetically hold up a mirror to it
I call it's bull shiit with the confidence to challenge the pulpit with nothing pre writ
I fear no holy punishment, don't acknowledge your judgement
And you can miss me with that covenant, I didn't have any part in it
I don't agree with what it represents and how gods "followers" use this religious content
Explain to me how this isn't viewed as a crime syndicate
Call him down here for one sec, clear this up with the public
The fact that nobody's done it only exposes some of the slight of hand, silver tongue magic
Turns suspect real quick, I've lost any and all respect
Your guys not the guy, I don't buy the lie
If any of 'em believe in what they say and read, they should be in a panic
Basically, if believers believe then they would live life far different
And be open to conversation instead of jumping straight into argument
©2024
Feb 5, 2024
Feb 5, 2024 at 7:21 PM UTC
From day one, from the moment I was given one, my compass has had a faulty magnet
Why was that written into my script?
And why didn't I get a say in any of it?
Shouldn't I have been given a manuscript?
Explaining, for one thing, why I have to combat life and everything that comes with it?
How would you go about it?
Can't I just shrug it off, maybe let some shiit slip?
My path doesn't always need to be backlit
Certainly not by the ember of my burnout that fell from orbit
The punishment never fit the crime but I still submit that most of the claims are, in themselves, counterfeit
But I didn't quit in a panic
Not every life is a good investment
So I made the corporate decision to forfeit
Call it an early retirement
The more fitting term is a forced exit
©2024
Jan 17, 2024
Jan 17, 2024 at 3:15 PM UTC
Lips sealed, forced quite
One rivet, two rivet
There we go, three otta do it
Last step here is to blow both eardrums with a dangerous harmonic
Ah, there we go, perfect
But I forget
This negativity comes from a resident
One living rent free from infancy in my attic
And amidst my constant panic
I barricaded the wrong side of the door by accident
Now help can't get in to stop the punishment
AND
I'm trapped inside my head with a lunatic
Obviously this is problematic
Hear no evil, see no evil but the mind is never silent
A silver tongue tyrant, my downfalls conduit
I know it knows I'm on to it
But a relic like toxic thoughts doesn't give a shiit
I've proven I can't go toe to toe with it
My wins are really just me escaping THE moment
It can return to being a problem at ANY moment
It never fights fair, super over dramatic
Big signs posted, "Bipolar, Beware", looking post apocalyptic
Wait, how many are against me in here? I thought "me Vs the world" was more just symbolic
Ritualistic hunter and the hunted, predator and prey, animalistic
Unapologetic
No one ever sees the bouts, to barbaric to air it
Try to grin and bare it but it's apparent
I can no longer dodge, duck, dip, dive and dodge the bombastic rhetoric
And I've literally just locked myself in with the traumatic and away from the public
I don't feel safe in here with myself and don't know what to do about it...
©2024
Jan 11, 2024
Jan 11, 2024 at 5:29 PM UTC
This is it,
Punishment.
Yea, yea, yeah,
It was understandable,
At first,
You were young,
Love was new,
Well unfamiliar love,
Or attraction,
That's a better word,
All you knew was looks,
Short kings don't go far,
No one wants a twig,
All you had was looks,
A cute face,
A nice voice,
Nice teeth,
Until 5th grade...
When you lost the gates,
The world free to explore,
The world inside your mouth,
A free pass,
Eh I just won't smile.
How long without smiling,
It's fine you have a smirk,
One you can easily change,
Flirty,
Doubt,
No worries you found something,
Wrestling,
Well there was that temporary pause,
In highschool my sophomore year...
When I dislocated my shoulder,
Giving me another worry,
Without a smile,
Now without an arm,
Crazy!
Eh just another change,
Slowly losing confidence,
Yet forcing a change...
That leads us to now,
As an adult,
The man formed from it all,
The trauma,
The lost confidence,
It all formed an odd one,
Someone who writes it all,
Because any sight of you,
Well a beauty,
But now things happen...
To where I react,
Oddly,
Feeling of a swollen tongue,
At the sight of a beauty,
Or whoever my mind seems so,
The sudden freezing of my eyes,
Lost thoughts,
Unable to approach,
The hardest feeling to fight,
Yet I have been unable to do so,
I can only do things,
All in passing,
Hopefully you catch on,
Please do...
A punishment!
The closest I can get,
Words amongst each other,
With you in mind,
You within the words...
Aug 18, 2023
Aug 18, 2023 at 4:55 PM UTC