#psychatric
Yiska slits
her thin wrist
-broken glass
in a bin
in the ward
what a find-
the blood comes
plentiful
beautiful
she reckons
sitting back
in the bath
of water
motherly
and warming
reddening
but a nurse
on duty
looking to
tell Yiska
the doctor
wanted her
finds her there
in the bath
drifting off
and blood soaked
EMERGECY
SUICIDE
the nurse yells
up the ward
-locked up ward
those who are
mentally
unstable
are caged here-
I am in
the main lounge
looking out
the window
snows falling
some robin
perches there
on a branch
Yiska said
earlier
she'd make it
out of here
one way or
the other
there's a rush
of nurses
and a quack
follows up
half way through
-I'm guessing-
his breakfast
there's egg yoke
at the side
of his mouth
poor Yiska
so depressed
no way out
she told me
but I guess
watching the
brave robin
sitting there
that there is
if you look
really hard
to get out
out somewhere.
Jun 5, 2015
Jun 5, 2015 at 2:38 AM UTC
Up at dawn
I wander
to the lounge:
Yiska's there
standing by
the window,
curtains drawn,
looking out
at the snow.
The other
patients are
still asleep
or drugged up.
I walk up
behind her
hold her waist.
O it's you,
she utters,
thought it might
be Beatle
John Lennon.
He couldn't
make it he
asked me to
come instead,
I whisper.
Second best,
she replies,
couldn't sleep?
Not that much,
I reply,
are you down
for the old
ECT?
I'm told so,
she utters.
So am I,
I tell her.
I look out
at the snow
still falling,
kiss her neck.
She turns and
kisses me
on the lips.
How's your wrist?
I ask her.
****** sore,
she tells me.
Well you did
go cut it
twice over,
I utter.
You can't speak
so have you,
she replies.
She lights up
cigarettes
for us both,
and we go
and sit down
on the old
white sofa.
We could here,
but the nurse
might see us,
Yiska says,
just our luck
bit like the
ECT
room last time.
That was close,
I whisper,
be funny
in that room
today, us
almost in
the throws of
having ***
on one of
the narrow
beds in there.
Yiska smiles,
almost caught;
wonder what
she'd have said
if she had
caught us there.
Hard to think
but the look
on her face,
I tell her.
We sit there
smoking in
silence now,
snow falling
softly down
on the trees
and the ground.
Aug 8, 2016
Aug 8, 2016 at 2:14 AM UTC
It is dark
early dawn
I can't sleep
so wander
from my bed
on the men's
dormitory
to the lounge
passing by
the night nurse
who's sitting
in her room
writing up
her report
can't you sleep?
she calls out
I walk back
to her door
and peer in
no I can't
thought I'd go
to the lounge
have a smoke
watch the snow
falling down
did you now?
aren't you on
sleeping pills?
still wake up
I tell her
she muses
looks at me
have to see
if the doc
will increase
the dosage
she replies
then Yiska
comes behind
puts her arms
around me
early bird
she whispers
kisses my neck
soft warm lips
not you too
the nurse says
have to see
the doctor
about both
of you two
put Benny
down Yiska
go and sit
in the lounge
and cool off
both of you
the nurse says
so we do
wander up
to the lounge
and go stand
by the large
lounge window
watch the snow
coming down
on the trees
and the grounds
below us
and the fields
beyond that
how calming
it all looks
Yiska says
like a big
Christmas card
I reply
we light up
cigarettes
and stand there
holding hands
two lost souls
on the bridge
of a slow
sinking ship
removing
cigarettes
then kissing
with passion
lip to lip.
Mar 25, 2016
Mar 25, 2016 at 3:15 AM UTC
The psychiatrist had just left.
Nima sat in a chair
by the window
staring out.
Where were you
this weekend?
A voice said
from the doorway.
Nima turned,
and saw her mother
standing there,
stiff in her black dress suit,
hair permed to a neat pile.
Out with a friend,
Nima said.
Her mother entered
the side ward.
Which friend?
Her mother said.
You don't know them,
Nima said.
Them more than one?
The mother said,
walking around
the small ward,
eyeing her daughter,
taking in the thinness,
paleness.
A friend,
one singular,
Nima said,
looking away,
avoiding her mother's
stern stare.
Male or female?
the mother said,
her voice stiff and hard.
Nima sighed.
Does it matter?
They let you out
with just a friend?
The mother stood opposite
her daughter;
I will asked what
they think they are doing
letting you with just anyone.
He's not just anyone,
Nima said,
he's from the church,
he's helping me.
Her mother raised
an eyebrow.
Where did you stay?
Nima sighed,
some place
for church people,
Nima said,
quiet place.
I know when you lie,
her mother said,
where did you really go?
Nima stood up,
and walked away
from her mother.
Aunt's place
while she's away,
Nima said.
Who did you sleep with?
The mother said.
Nima gazed at her mother,
a friend,
she said,
someone I like,
and who cares
about me.
The mother sat down
and sighed,
I hope he does,
her mother replied.
May 9, 2016
May 9, 2016 at 3:08 PM UTC
Yiska said
the whole scene stank
I don't want
to be stuck
in the locked ward
another day
my bandaged wrist
stings like hell
she said
the big nurse eyed her
the radio was playing
some Beatles' song
come walk with me
I said
away from the others
so we walked along
the passage
along by the showers
and bathroom
and cupboards
for sheets and such
slept badly
she said
groans and moans
of others
that Scots woman
jabbering the night
the night nurse
doing **** all
about her
just saying
it's her alcohol
wanting its feed
I held her hand
she squeezed it
if there was a place
I would right now
just ******* do it
I wasn't sure
if she meant ***
or slitting her other wrist
or maybe both
we came to a locked door
and turned around
and walked back again
a nurse came to us
where are you two going?
she asked
Hell and back
Yiska said
she gazed
at our joined hands
where were you two
last night?
she said
sleeping in our beds
I guess
I said
you weren't there
when I looked
she said
Yiska said nothing
but peered past her
best get back to the lounge
breakfast will be
brought up soon
she said
she turned
and walked off
I gazed at her
swaying walk
the black and white
uniformed behind
holding my eyes
we parted hands
as we entered the lounge
her hand fell by her side
I sat by her
on the sofa
and waited for breakfast
to come
listening to the radio
and the other patient's
soft hum.
Dec 4, 2015
Dec 4, 2015 at 3:25 AM UTC