#proving
Still breathing
But gave up trying
Heart still beating
Though I feel I've lost my life
Living proof grief hits harder than dying
I don't want to stop trying
And yes, I'd love to stop crying
'Cause life can be so deflating
I spot the gleem of the razor edge
And it looks so inviting
Death defying
I stole this pale horse I'm riding
Wrath and vengeance shouldn't be so enticing
What will it take to get my life back on track?
Hell, has it ever been?
I'm...
I'm having trouble remembering
©2024
Mar 11, 2024
Mar 11, 2024 at 2:32 PM UTC
I was told I was nothing
Everyday between the beatings
I was locked outside
Given no love besides
Mental abuse to hold me down
Making me feel like nothing but a clown
All this through out my life
Still fighting with all my might
To prove that I am enough
Written by
Michael Matthews
Jan 22, 2023
Jan 22, 2023 at 5:59 PM UTC
I love you
I love you
I love you.
Please believe me.
I won’t say it but I hope you see it.
Dec 2, 2018
Dec 2, 2018 at 5:13 AM UTC
I’m the one who loves you oh so much.
The ones whose heart melts at your touch.
I’m the one who loves your love handles.
I’m the one who loves when you ramble.
I’m the one who loves all your flaws.
The one who wouldn’t judge you at all.
I love your laugh and your smile. I love your voice and love your style
But only if I could share, this love that’s truly there.
I don’t want fake so with my heart, don’t play.
I love you to the moon and back, I’m here to always stay
Because I’m the one.
Jun 16, 2017
Jun 16, 2017 at 4:03 AM UTC
I once heard a quote that said we fear rejection, we want affection.
It says we crave attention and dream of perfection.
When we are looking in the wrong dimension,
Because that dimension only goes in one direction.
But if you try something new with me we can end this temptation,
And we can start our new and special generation.
What we have is beyond anyone else’s imagination.
Take my hand and we can show an admiration in our own location.
We can go on a new road with our love, a clean slate.
Join me in our new location… Our true destination.
Jun 16, 2017
Jun 16, 2017 at 4:00 AM UTC
Is it Love or is it Lust when I give you my trust,
I tell you things that may scare you, but you always stay.
Is It Lust or is it Love when my emotions are unheard of,
I try to hide my pain from every person I see, but you saw the real me.
Is it Pain or is it Gain when you see my scars and I’m the one to blame,
I feel alone in my family tree, but you let me branch out and be free.
Is it Gain or is it Pain when you ask me to share my feelings with you,
There is always pain running through my veins, but you are what I’ve gained.
Is it Right or Is it Wrong when I tell you how I feel and the pain becomes real.
You don’t know how to feel or what to do, but you still say “I will always help you?”
Is it Wrong or is it Right when I put up a fight because I don’t want you to go,
I tell you the pain that’s unspoken and I’ve given you my trust token.
Is it meant, truly meant to be, you and I?
Are we truly meant to fly?
Jun 16, 2017
Jun 16, 2017 at 3:59 AM UTC
I know I messed up in the past, but I can be strong
I know I’m broken but know you’ve been fixing me all along
You picked up my pieces and glued them back together
We just lost a few pieces, but we can find them through gloomy weather
All the time I wish that you were here or I was there
And as long as this true love is something that we share
I will love you till eternity even through the despair
Because all this pain and hurt you have is something I can bare
You see, Eres mi eterno amor is what we always say
Because even through the bad times you know I’m here to stay
Because we always have this hurt and we always have this pain
But you can’t have a rainbow if you don’t have a little rain
Because even though we bring out the stress in each other
We also bring out the best like no other
Jun 16, 2017
Jun 16, 2017 at 3:55 AM UTC
It’s You because of your smile...
That makes me want to stay because you’re worth my while
It’s You because of your lips...
That collides with mine, and at that moment my heart does tricks
It’s You because of your eyes...
That makes me get lost in who you are because you’re the perfect prize
It’s You because of your hands…
As they intertwine perfectly with my mine and make my heart dance
It’s You, that’s true, it’s always been you. That’ll keep me going when I don’t want to.
It’s You because of your heart...
That makes mine skip a beat and my heart melts whenever you start to speak
It’s You because of your voice...
That makes me smile and feel comforted because you are always the best choice
It’s You because of your touch...
That makes me love being with you each oh so much
It’s You because of your Beauty...
That makes me think “I truly have to make her as happy as can be” it’s my duty
Yes, it’s you, that’s true, it’s always been you.
Jun 27, 2018
Jun 27, 2018 at 2:41 PM UTC
I know I can be happy, I know that this can work because in the beginning I was happy and I loved you then.
In the end, we’ll be together and I’ll be happy once again, because baby, I could never lose you, it would be the death of me.
I feel so free with you, you let me be free, be the real me.
You opened my eyes to my problems and helped me be true.
The world isn’t anything to me if I don’t have you.
You see, I’d walk for miles just to see your pretty smile.
And I’d give up forever to hold you for awhile.
I’d do anything and give it all up to make you feel better.
As long as it ended in me having you forever.
When I’m with you I’m comforted and then I feel safe, but when I’m without you I honestly have no place.
You’ve always made me feel powerful, useful, and needed.
You always bring me up through the bad when I’m down and defeated,
But as my mind spins, I begin to think and what would you say?
Would you say you feel the same way I feel day after day?
I want you to stay, but I’m scared of what you will say because the hurt I have caused you in my mind will never go away.
You’ll always be my sunshine through the good and bad.
You’ll be my moon to light the darkness when I am sad.
As you are always there for me to save the day.
Whenever you feel alone know that I’m here to stay.
Jun 27, 2018
Jun 27, 2018 at 2:39 PM UTC
She said to me, “I feel like I’ve lost you.” because lately, I haven’t been there, I’m just fading away.
It’s like I went off the road that leads to nowhere, but I’m being fooled, thinking that one day I can reach ‘nowhere’ even though I’m already here.
You’ve lost me in the Jungle of Fear… Fear that I won’t get out of the Jungle so I hide away in a tree, never having the courage to leave.
Because I don’t want to be a memory that you think about in vain
I don’t want to fall into the box of your old heartbreaks and hurt
I don’t want you to fear trust in me, I don't want to cause you pain, I don’t want to be to blame when things are never the same.
You’ve changed. I’ve changed, but I am still stuck in this tree.
Waiting for you to set me free, but we are green people, we can’t just cut the tree down.
There was never a way down, but there was a way up.
You seem to fear the tree because there is not a safe way down and you climbed the tree before and was disappointed.
Will you be disappointed again or will we make it to the end?
Would it be better if I get out of the tree? Then can we be free?
Will you help me down to the ground?
Or let me fall?
Jun 27, 2018
Jun 27, 2018 at 2:36 PM UTC
But I am clueless… because you have given me no clue on what to do and I feel worthless
But quotes and books tell me to be hopeful, but you aren’t here so hope is gone so how do I cope?
Because when you are gone, it feels so wrong, and I just don’t want to go on
And the pain goes on and on and on and on until I struggle to breathe and I choke
I choke on all this pain I’m been given because to them it’s just a joke
Because my mom is alive, my dad is alive, my sisters, my cousins, my family, they’re all alive
You see, to you, I haven't’ seen struggle, not like the others, my dad left me as a kid, but I still have my mother
My mom doesn’t know about the pain, none of my family knows about me being in this game of life, but not knowing how to play
But people have different sizes, types, and kinds of struggle because of our different perspective because I see a 3 and you see an E
I can see a stick in the grown and you can see a tree, I can see an S and you can see a snake, but that doesn’t mean my answers are fake
There are so many ways to interpret words, sayings, things, beings, the world,
Impossible says I’m possible, can’t, take away the “t” and says can
You see I go on and on about my pain and how I am one and alone and others don’t believe me
That doesn’t mean when I talk about this pain I have, it’s not true, but it is okay because you don’t want to deceive me
I will never give up because that one person I want to believe me, is you
I will forever try to find a word for us... two.
Apr 26, 2018
Apr 26, 2018 at 4:34 PM UTC
But I’m running, I’m running, I’m running down this lonely road… full of sorrow
I’m sprinting, I’m sprinting, I’m sprinting, trying to make it to tomorrow
But it feels like I may never make it to the end. Why do I feel so small, Small like an ant,
But I want to feel tall, strong, confident, hopeful, satisfied, alive
Words I don’t ever understand or feel because alive says live and I’m not living, yet I haven’t died, I have only survived, but I promise you I’ve really tried. But I’m so fried. I’m too tired… I’m just not wired… right. But I still right. That’s why I’m here tonight
Do I really need you to help me, like a friend or do I need more? Is that how I can face my fears and be strong for… once in my life?
The feelings. The feelings I have inside, I just bottle - up and really try to hide
This pain that’s running through my veins, it’s driving me insane
So tired of this game, But who is there to blame, because it’s not me!
No, I finally see it’s not me. Just wait and see. You’ll see. The true person I’m meant to be
That true person is who I am when I am with you, the comfort and love I get,
Before you came into my life I just wanted to quit, but I don’t know what love really is, but you say you love me, seems pretty legit.
Something I don’t get from my family tree, because with them I can’t branch out and be free
But how do I tell you this all without scaring you away, you say you will stay forever, but tomorrow is always a new day
What will stop me from telling you the wrong thing, or telling you too much to make you break, is it a mistake to give you all of me
You say we are one, but we are two, but then you go away, and what can I do, are we friends, best friends, lovers?
I don’t know, but when I am with you, it is like no other, but why do you go? Why do you tell me to stop talking about so much pain?
Why do you not know you are the reason for cleansing this pain through my cold blue veins?
You left. You stop talking to me. Not only did the floodgates open for the tears to keep flowing, but the pain came crashing too
How do you I truly make us two, why isn’t there a word for two?
Apr 26, 2018
Apr 26, 2018 at 4:34 PM UTC
Lust.
It means to have a strong desire and attachment to something, someplace, or someone
Well, that is how I feel with you, so what does it mean?
When I am with you, the cliches just come flowing in
Because your eyes glitter like the stars we watch at night in silence.
Your smile glows like the sunrise, I want to watch as we grow old.
Your body runs smoothly like a slow song, OUR slow song.
It is as if the world told me that your beauty was too much for everyone else so you chose me.
I think I am falling in lust with you because when I lust, it is true.
So was I meant to just lust, or love you?
Should we be in lust forever, is that so bad?
Aug 13, 2017
Aug 13, 2017 at 11:48 AM UTC
I was all alone, just me, just one
You see alone, alone has the word one and there is only one of me and only one of you
But what word means us and has the word two because I don’t want one alone, I want us the two
I have tried so hard to find the word because I want you, and I want us, and I want true, and I want two
How about the word Artwork? That has the word two
Does it work, because you are a work of art and I work hard to find our word with two
Trustworthy! That’s it, right? It has the word two, and I trust you, but do you trust me…? I don’t know
Paintwork… It has the word two, but it also has the word pain and then there is the word outwork
And I feel outworked, trying to find the word that has two, to prove to you, my love is true, and that’s all I want to do
But why isn’t there a word for two?
Aug 8, 2017
Aug 8, 2017 at 9:47 PM UTC
proving
misconstruing.
hearing
sneering
fearing
weary.
Jun 14, 2017
Jun 14, 2017 at 3:04 AM UTC
I've wanted to do a lot of things.
I want the experience and that thought attracts me to almost doing it. Even the bad things of life and I've always talked myself out of it. But what if I didn't?
This is being human.
You are attracted to things. You want experience. You want to live and be constantly assured that you are, be that by feeling things intensely like the rush of ****** or the strangling of someone. Or hearing heavy breathing in the middle of the night. Or classical music so strong it makes you cry. Or deep conversations with your uncle and cousin about religion and life at three in the morning. Or smelling something like fresh baked bread you made with your grandmother or the smell of an aired out house that brings back childhood memories or the smell of your lovers skin that is tangy and a little something else.
You must constantly satisfy your senses to prove to yourself that you are alive.
Jun 2, 2015
Jun 2, 2015 at 3:42 PM UTC
Regurgitating secrets
onto sleek marble flooring
through the endless hall,
echoing in thier ears
like a broken record; repeating
and jumping back to
start it again.
Starting like the fresh blood
pumping into my veins
and out the cuts on my hands
that hole in my head
and down the side of the knife
impaled between the north and south
of my core *****
The so called "key" to living.
torturing us, wanting us to "love"
wanting us to "hate"
wanting us to pretty much "want".
But what do i know?
I'm just another writer
aiming for success
trying to decipher the
broken logic of lust and love
of trust and friendship.
TRUST?! is that what we need?
To make this world
actually rely on another
to possibly
help with thier troubles
and discover the other?
Or if trust was real
and there was no such thing
as a backstabber,
i wouldn't be in this hall
lying face first
in a pool full
of ****** lies
and truthful *****
Aug 30, 2014
Aug 30, 2014 at 1:51 PM UTC
There was a song,
I recall like a drug.
From my childhood,
yet faintly lost at sea.
It was a sweet song.
A whistle?
A sweet song indeed.
It was a humming,
and a hemming.
And I sway to the long,
for that old sweet song.
The song that shut
sweet child eyes.
The song that could
disguise bad times.
The song filled with warmth,
to soften my ice.
The song that calmed pain,
proving the existence of 'truly nice.'
This song from way low,
to the day I now know,
is my..heart
my..sky
my lu-lu-lullaby
May 9, 2014
May 9, 2014 at 10:14 PM UTC
What's given
Can be taken
Life constantly mending
The rules that are continually bending
Our troubles from alarm
From people trained to bring harm
Now do we live to love
Find ways to rise above
Or cave into
The things we think we'd never do
Lose the things we came to be
Never knowing what we could truly see
Rough patches through the dark
Even though we've all been given an ark
Some choose to live that path
Living in a continual blood bath
Using hate to make us feel provin
Living a life that's not worth livin
It's easy to just give up
And get obsession and disrupt
But I beg of me come away
To shine on and shine today
I beg of you to do the same
Do not let the darkness bring you shame
Move through life with a great light
Something that will eventually shine bright
I know it's hard when dark destroys
Trying to fool you with all it's mental ploys
But your are strong
You'll learn to prove life wrong
Or maybe right
Cause life could be bright
I say to you with great haste
make sure to go out and give life a taste
Cause it's worth the time
do not commit the crime
Stop abandoning your morals
And begain to remove your quarrels
Life will transcend
It's only around the bend
Don't give up I beg of you
They say couple people make it only a few
But I believe if we all really tried
That everyone will make it before they all have gone and died
So I say to you be the ones who tried
And give up the you who once lied
Apr 7, 2014
Apr 7, 2014 at 9:35 PM UTC