#poetryaboutloss
I see you, I think
when I need you most
climbing a bad day,
there you were
the very day after your birthday
robin on a birdfeeder
all will be okay.
Jan 23, 2022
Jan 23, 2022 at 4:56 PM UTC
Your small face smiles at me from
across the dining room
a dining room with a bed
the bed doesn’t have a frame and your blonde fringe
is
gone
too
cut off
when it started to fall out
I didn’t say the image fit
these days you can hardly move
and I forget for a second my own
losses
I only think of what’s coming
an inhale is stubbing my sternum on fibreglass
while it’s reinforcing some concrete
it’s all the same
I try to hold the past a little tighter
I felt it then
nothing
at first
and then all of a sudden in a burst
an itch
on the roof of my mouth
when I close it
something persistently
ingrown
it catches on a button a crease
a similar in relation smile
and then it is my turn
I smile and tell you
“I’m sorry”
you smile at me like you’re sorry
that I’ve come back to see this.
Jan 23, 2022
Jan 23, 2022 at 4:54 PM UTC
In my dream last night
someone said they'd seen you
I saw a strand of red hair
that I was being too optimistic to recognise as my own
there was nothing I could remember
it's really not much
and I know you're not coming back
but these moments give me something
something like some part of you still being here
even if it's just me
something like you'll turn around any second
something like you'll be back soon
(One day I'll be older than you were)
You turn to me
our eyes are the same
but yours are bigger with concern
you say
but... there's no connection
wringing your hands out
like a cloth you don't understand
a letter addressed directly
to my inner saboteur
an answer for everything
comes out of my closed mouth
suddenly an adult you weren't ready for
with a wry smile
isn't that the whole point?
I'm the thing that's still here
and I don't think you're stuck
up there
anymore
in the stratosphere
Jan 23, 2022
Jan 23, 2022 at 4:34 PM UTC