#plumber
a corner cutting contractor does a lot of talking
with customers ignoring warnings from trades masters.
hope their pipes don't start knocking.
plumber's bills can inspire mostly gawking,
dickering downs after they heard from a neighbor:
a corner cutting contractor does a lot of talking.
we can put each dollar to a chalking
and it's clear, the fittings in their fervor.
oh did the pipes just start knocking?
hot water fast, the shower door is self-locking.
drifting off, at peace, and it couldn't be better,
a corner cutting contractor does a lot of talking.
faucets on and the water gives a rollicking.
it's an ear full, a face full. you'd need a life preserver.
after the pipes started knocking.
there's masters and jacks, then there's half-cocking
the caulking when sealing each hole on the outside of a structure.
a corner cutting contractor did a lot of talking,
then the pipes started knocking.
Nov 21, 2025
Nov 21, 2025 at 11:49 AM UTC
I was up to my shoulders
Down in the hole
uncovering waste pipes
Outside your home
I said please don't flush!
Stop up all your drains
I told you I'd know
I thought you were sane
The pipe was wide open
Some water came down
A few little turds
And some paper came round
I asked you twice more
One time per occurrence
Each time it was gross
But I got your assurance
We got the job done
But it sure was a ******
The moral of this poem:
Don't **** on your plumber!
May 15, 2021
May 15, 2021 at 12:33 PM UTC
Christ put me in a tomb
An abode for the soul
Forever cold
I fear the slumber
And a slender plumber
With his wrench and pipe expertise
The hold he may have
Solid grip
And strength
It could corrupt
Break
And maim me
I want to hide
Runaway
Decide
But I am trapped
Lost in the blaze
Of the plumber's gaze
Jan 25, 2018
Jan 25, 2018 at 5:47 AM UTC
As I sit here just chewing the cud
Nights lost and debauched with my friend Richard
Picking up that guitar as a kid from Cash Converters
He left me for the sun down under with the students and the surfers
E Minor through to a chord named A Sharp
Strangling that neck with fingers that don’t know where to start
I should have listened to Mr Hogarth for this career in its finest form
Rocking out on stage wow that would have been a storm
But it’s never too late to try and give it another go
Read music they say but I wouldn’t know my **** from my elbow
No, no, no, that’s not the attitude
I’ll plug this thing and never give up as someday I’ll fill those smoky rooms
I joined a band with 2 brothers and bassist of whom I did not know
Mill Hill practice every Sunday just thought I’d give it a go
But only one song and a commitment I could not keep it was always bound to fail
I’ll carry on solo still looking on but really just chasing my own tail
Work carried on as a plumber of which I never did really enjoy
But it paid the bills
A mortgage
A van
And a wedding on the horizon
All in sight except for that unseen tree which nearly stopped me from ever rising
Paraplegic is a word I had rarely ever used
you’re a ******* a **** I had said once myself how dare I have used that abuse
To be told you will never walk again is a shot that broke my heart
Don’t let it get you down be strong and try for a brand new start
The days go by at the start of this new journey
The loss of once friends and to gain some new is now what must ground me
A different perspective and a sharper humour has now unveiled
Hello new world you won’t get me down just watch this beast unravel
Taking the good with the bad and filtering through the ugly
A different ship to now set sail, get ready for this could get choppy
But as I say and always repeat, life goes on its just how you take it
This second chance given to me a bit lower down, but still determined to make it,
Hey Mr Wheelchair.
JJB
Jan 17, 2018
Jan 17, 2018 at 4:51 PM UTC
Roof of the sky leaks
A plumber looks for a tissue
In the duskiest summer
Aug 13, 2014
Aug 13, 2014 at 6:15 PM UTC