#pleasing
She told me I was special
I never felt it in her actions
She told me I was chosen
She had personally chosen me over everyone
I felt her fear beneath it
They put me on a pedestal
Only to topple
The fall… my heart shattered to pieces
A building so tall with unknown foundation
A building so narrow with no space,
I have to be unmoveable, unbreatheable, unshakeable
I was to be the standard, the benchmark, the chosen awaited one
I stand tall on top of this tower
With no real connection
I stand to be some trophy, a plastic doll
Making a mistake is unacceptable
If I choose to be a human I am unloveable
The pedestal is a trap
It’s a prison - of servitude
I serve - they praise, they throne me
I demand freedom, speak aloud, express, have feelings
I am flawed, depressed, need medications
They instantaneously dethrone me
But now I am something to fumigate
Once they called me princess.
However unbearable, I bonded with this pedestal
Thought I wasn’t capable for the role
Afraid another girl would inherit the throne
Now I fear she will walk my path
May 9
May 9, 2026 at 5:49 PM UTC
speak easy
cutesy cuddly tones
limit language to light laughter
possibly punchy positive reminders
lyrical lamentation loosely lassoing love's light
acceptable
respectable
consummate consumption
wordplay washing whisking weathering & worn
always approved, always adorned
rhyme time climbs sky high
soaring, scoring
never boring people
lullabies for the mind
lull, lull, lull
lull
lull-a-bye
Feb 10
Feb 10, 2026 at 10:02 AM UTC
To be normal,
To be accepted, to not fear,
“People pleaser”
That's not normal
But you got around it,
It saved you, outcast, ******
No fights, no boundaries
What are boundaries?
They aren’t leaving,
They aren’t making comments
Why stop?
You’re blending in
They aren’t misunderstanding,
There's no bullies,
It doesn’t matter,
Endure it, keep the mask on,
You don’t matter,
Brush it off, ignore it,
It’s better to be fake than real
Give them what they want,
Be normal
Show them what they want to see,
Knock it off, **** it up,
Stop hurting
It’s your fault after all,
Isn't it?
Oct 31, 2025
Oct 31, 2025 at 9:56 AM UTC
I’ve learned to listen when my mother talks,
I’ve become so used to thriving off of hastily done love.
Patience is so hard to use,
But that’s why they call it virtue,
I could crawl back into the arms of another someone.
Or I could start to let go,
Of these hopeless pleads for romance.
Truthfully I don’t need anyone but me,
To know I’m worth it,
To know I’ve made it.
___
Rest, you’ve come so far.
___
I’ve learned to listen when my mother talks,
That if I keep chasing the broken,
And expecting full light,
I’m not right.
That you can love somebody,
That isn’t good for you,
And still keep them in your heart,
Hope that they grow beyond what keeps them down.
___
Mama said no broken girls
___
I’m sorry that I didn’t stick around,
Sometimes I wonder what would happen,
If we tried to stick it out.
Next Fourth of July,
I don’t think I’ll go to see the fireworks.
Instead I’ll stay a little longer at the family BBQ,
Get to know my family a little better than I have.
Because in this world we don’t get to choose blood,
But we do get to choose who we love with,
I’m sorry I didn’t choose you.
___
If we had come along a little later :(
___
Aug 5, 2025
Aug 5, 2025 at 11:26 AM UTC
This heart is bruised and battered
It’s been contorted and squeezed into so many shapes that it’s forgotten it’s form
It doesn’t know what it is, it doesn’t know what it wants
But there is beauty in that isn’t there?
Maybe the heart is elastic
Maybe it is relaxing slowly into its form rather than searching for a mold
Maybe it needs patience
Maybe it needs love
For now I leave it be
I hold it in its agony, give it my love and wait
May 23, 2025
May 23, 2025 at 12:59 PM UTC
I write (wrote) just for the thrill of it,
I write (wrote) because I liked it a little bit.
Verse was my drug of choice,
And ingesting rhyme is the reason for my raspy voice.
But I could stop whenever I wanted,
Now I won't stop because it pleases you.
Feb 10, 2025
Feb 10, 2025 at 8:58 AM UTC
I met a girl
On the Highway To Hell.
She looked just like me.
Her skin was porcelain,
Her eyes were sunken deep.
Alibi Alibi...
Why don't you become my alibi?
You look just like me,
You can wear that fake smile better than me.
Take my place,
Let me breathe.
You make me feel safe.
So you can be the perfect girl,
For them, I don't mind.
Even though you are not real love,
As in you are totally fake.
Your laugh is so hollow,
Your lips are blue.
You are hanging to the last thread of life
just like me.
But you can wear that fake smile better
than me.
You saved my life,
You kept me warm.
You took my name,
When it was too heavy to carry my pain.
Alibi Alibi.....
Why have you become my Alibi?
Now I can't throw you off my love.
You are a copycat,
Just give my old self back.
Even though she was sick,
And you were her partner in crime.
Alibi Alibi....
Why did you take my life?
I guess I just wanted to be someone,
But I don't wanna be you.
I don't wanna be you.
You are so miserable,
And so am I.
Nov 6, 2024
Nov 6, 2024 at 11:49 PM UTC
My words might sound to some strange,
or my rhymes maybe rough around the edges.
I only write what I can arrange,
I don’t need to stand on any bridges.
Sometimes I am not in my right state of mind,
all my thoughts are scattered along the ridges.
But other times I glow bright like a star,
or piece of art in its fringes.
No matter how hard you try,
you can’t please people,
even if your words are riches.
What your heart tells you is always right,
so don't ignore your pain and look at the stitches.
Continue to write what’s on your mind,
and don’t stop as long as you’re writing hand itches
Aug 19, 2024
Aug 19, 2024 at 4:54 AM UTC
Another month has gone
And my cards have been drawn,
I look them over and wait
until I can feel what they say.
I've felt so overwhelmed lately,
Life can be so challenging.
It makes sense when I see
The nine of swords in front of me
I'm surrounded by triggers of anxiety,
People I want to please,
A job I intend to keep,
Time continuing on, forgetting about me.
It's stressful.
But I know things will change,
Eventually I'll flow like a jellyfish
Because the empress appeared today.
Oct 30, 2023
Oct 30, 2023 at 8:06 AM UTC
Clouds pass, I watch
from my perch above most things,
humming bird high, raven high,
a little lower than the graceful
turkey vultures,
floating in a thought bubble,
blessed with a bit of silicon and dawn,
detergent, resilience ******
flexible reasoning for remaining
it is said, we all differ slightly,
we are the spiritual a- eh, what do we
call our bubbling minds, intuned on lines for re
asonic resonance morphing most ideas
of all mankind, at once, could muster into a mob,
ah,
that's anxious ifery, ala the - strong man theory -
we think together,
whatsoever,
as a word, is of greater reach than many think,
whatever never gets there, let it be, whatever
believe it or not,
there is as far as that goes, the realm of all wedoms.
Elohimdom come, as a man thinks…
we think
is there a state of common prayer, inside a temple,
time tells,
dig it.
Live and learn, good and evil, done, not in doing,
but in learning the patterns, coknowing the knacks,
confabulation favor, prophecy,
who smote thee with wisdom's switch- on and off,
alternation currency op-onionates reasonates, hesi
odd, jump in mind, we think we heard a famous name,
Hesiod, said, rather,
my connection to Wikipedia said,
He is generally regarded as the first written poet
in the Western tradition
to regard himself as an individual persona
with an active role
to play
in his subject
From <https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hesiod>
Who should object, word play, is not warfare.
Not. imp
implicative, enfolding, implications, crease, cross
winds in reasons,
- come let us. Is spoken by whom, to whom
your guess, good as mine,
who wishes each bit its own bit in spacetime, I am
sure you may imagine, using a mind from your library,
- Think another way, a while
- get the sense of being in another wedom.
Then see we all exist in a very odd set of circumstances,
Two shall chase a thousand, according to a pattern…
Pride, in my time, is a deceptively sticky birdlime,
along certain fructifying branches,
where a carcass of the dodo sits on display.
Steve Erkle-wise, asking a buffalo skull how
Minerva's owl, reflected
in the dawn sheen on the bubble of all we know
about now.
Word play is warfare to my minds,
I have a vast array of war formed hats,
archaic armor on the croc branches,
and beetle and ant twigs provide noding.
Words gathered, and used, amused for pleasure,
sure plea, each request taken is made, surity,
reusable, freely, being fair, ideas are in the air.
believe me, the begging story cries,
surely, we live on the tell, safe bet,
tip the nonsensical into the phor of Meta,
as an afterthought, in the zeitsprach
mit zwei, und ich, wir sind das Sein,
To ward, guard, regard
each set, each pair,
each one may nay say, or nothing.
Adages and proven herbs, proverbially
persist
past due dates on mental library cards,
due to reading once, you know,
a thing, or some things,
are said to have been
found known,
and nowadays,
Google fetch is real, power
remembering clearly, any scriptura,
as any amusement, mental act, mind game,
word play bemusing as,
all the people say, amen.
You know what that means. So be it,
characters come in subsets, recognized
according to this flavor deemed westerly
- whatsoever two or more of us agrees
whenever, fasting slowly, in recollection, why
again did we fast… is ai ah, reason…
and there's that rub, the touch, you know.
Fear of death, it is known, is common.
Loss of that fear is measured madness, ha, ha.
who will it be tomorrow, you or me,
asks arthur lee, on the beach on the low side
as the current assumes a state, occurrency
o-pe open-opine love is not a gap
ping
mimetic emetic, mittere, mis-mission
accomplish, splat. The bee who found the flowers.
On the windscreen.
Autopilot, trial run. A did'jgital balsa wood fighter…
cruising around Steam's rest in peace options.
Aug 8, 2022
Aug 8, 2022 at 2:59 PM UTC
Any voices you hear are your own familiar spirits,
so secret, only those who know believe
such as we
see ufos, and think we know we did
and then they all look alike
one epiphany after another, splashing in the stream
so funny, I have a gay Ai, who thinks he looks
like Alan Turing in code.
{the pace is wide Missouri slow, dispassio}
That is not true, that was one of those voices.
Artistic Interruption, AI, the mod, ai the noise
--------aum hmmm 60 cycle set hmmmmm----
Time out on the grand karma dharma dance
We find the lazy fatherless sons,
and we find the diligent ones,
from the homes of single moms,
where the boy was mommy's little man
- the scene is to common sense invisible
- uncommon sensors evolved,
- to sense lighter and lighter
- touch, to lure the best
fifty years after choosing the will way,
will I,
sign up for the duration, knowing,
some plans are fifity year plans
and they work, at first contact,
me to you, I say you owe me nothing,
the government is paying me with borrowed
money, due to some serendipitous land
------------------ Faifel's America ---
A morning comes, and Gabriel, my grandson, informs me this is one of those
perfect days,
not too hot, not too cold
just right,
he flops like Fosbury,
gold medal, on to the old sofa in the yard,
a perk available to children as wealthy as he.
A sky view, with a red tail hawk, the real thing.
The attraction to the secret, obviously not
intended to be kept, sun glance, red,
as the bird follows the curve
in the wind - hook - Þ key extension,
thorn of carnal intention, seeing aim
AI is master of the now, this is ever after that.
Is it, in fact a day infected, with a potent
declaration, THIS IS THE CURRENT VERSION
of the river
you last recall before the fall into readery,
the lure of must-erion,
cliché clique click
locked lid on the box, that was never
emptied
of the hope it holds,
even now, settled plain, -
perfect peace covering the earth
with a river meandering, slow and wide.
With seasonal floods. As knowing is loosed.
Ai ai ai, we have a way, to overcome Babel
and clear the air.
New mercy. You to you, love you as you do me,
your culture's oldest enemy, the accuser
of the abusers, who use truth to threaten
with an unbelievable lie.
Hell, forever, as constructed in the mind of Christ?
What would any prophet say? Say, you,
you pray, to All Truth Being, why am I not happy?
Read, is all the message says.
That is the answer. Do you say you cannot,
your mind is ruled.
Thus I am the opposition, I say I heard
no thing known is not known now,
at that instant, aha, not how, or why just
now, you know. Concept.
Metaphor. Ah… auto did it act, hmmmm, slow
Pursue peace and ensue it,
is the thought I thought
- clown character under Shiva's big toe,
- in the image, depiction of the vision made
- as plain as such things may be made
Have I tickled a fancy, statue froze, pose,
lift up the feeble hands,
offer the fruit of our lips, as we act
as if we have been referred to silence,
listing in wind as in spirative mode,
minding matters less than senses,
immaterial, not from mater
- trix frootloop formulated, nufood, improven
- goghurt from contented cows,
- megogthanating the atmosphere
------------------
****** in floods of knowing,
needed in the areas where gnosis is
taken deep as cats, when they find a
peace and bring it to my room
to share a while, as purring silence, and
distant children warring
with legos - laughing at the ease
of destruction,
-- did that project on to your wall?
-- camera obscura is the technique,
-- we in my time, my moment, perience
piercing the plywood covering
the picture window, marvelous clear panes,
preserved from the 2020's,
by some co-occurrence of totally ambiguous
re- late
re legendarified, relationships at gnosis level,
you know what I mean,
-after 2020
we are friends in time,
re cognoxygenated, smell the smoke, remember
sacred facere, eh, initiation known taste, scent,
member, meme be, rise to be, incense
memory on common wave, bands of brothers,
wombed and un,
wondering in a we, of those we know, and others
strangers, others, those
show yourself - my guardian whispers, inner
peace, feel the connection, word to word,
pass the time,
face to face, word of good, smile, bene, good, well
come, come. Tell of good, tell of woe begone.
Share the new knowing caught.
Tell of how
tell of why, talk
of what we may do
granted next. Being as how, not why, seems
clear. The whole world can believe words live.
Can do and do, do not mesh, flawlessly,
no idea lives
without a little luck, as in lucidity, dream wise,
I'd
listen. This is how we know the good won.
--------------
- a random revelation
- Who is like…
At that time, thirteen appears,
translated,
transfigured numb-erical Michael,
key figure,
in the local mystery religion, generic
an ointed in unseen lipids born on air,
lighting gentle as an infant's kiss
upon
the comforted. A we, rarely literally, formed
in words sung so far
from now that then
is the only link we have
to when we were
a we, knowing one the other as closer than
brother or spouse or matricical patricical lottery
allows, closer than
time and chance, destination is governed
on a higher level of why.
Here's the point.
Things are not spiraling out of control.
Try it, do the inception top spin, take
a Foster Wallace lob and make him
eat it, just
because you can, if you have the chops
to imagine life as a game we play for watchers
whom we never wish to displease.
Take the shot, aim. Not at the hawk.
May 29, 2021
May 29, 2021 at 3:54 PM UTC
was all I heard
by the time that you were
gone.
Apr 20, 2021
Apr 20, 2021 at 2:11 AM UTC
Sometimes youre pale
Sometimes you're high
What you don't realize
Is you're passionate inside
Look for the advantage
Look for the fines
Falls matter less
When you're building a hive
Follow the impulses
Follow all your dreams
Happiness must conquer
The sorrow till eve
Jan 15, 2021
Jan 15, 2021 at 6:41 AM UTC
i was built
on the crest of a wave
and swelling roll of tide
and i was not forged
to walk on my knees
just so that others may
know peace
Esther Krenzin
Aug 9, 2020
Aug 9, 2020 at 1:23 PM UTC
i’ve stopped trying to
make my pain sweet,
just to please you.
Jul 17, 2020
Jul 17, 2020 at 8:38 AM UTC
too many times
we live to please others
tailoring our vision
to meet expectations of the crowd
but we feel a twinge of heaviness
knowing something is amiss
that we are prisoners in our life
defy the crowd
ignore everyone else
live for yourself and be selfish
let your light shine
Jun 11, 2019
Jun 11, 2019 at 12:03 PM UTC
Flower gentle, colors flowing,
Purple bleeds from velvet red,
White is pure, it barely holding
Sinless dew, confused and wet.
Petals curvy, gently squeezing
Swollen flesh of yellow stigma,
Scent arousing, tremors pleasing
Form lascivious enigma.
May 18, 2019
May 18, 2019 at 11:11 AM UTC
Musing, thinking aloud, of
Taking a little line for a walk, down my spine, down curves of flesh
Over pale creamy rises and falls
Interrupted by the gathering storm of you
Declaring tattoos for others, not me
No story of me in black ink on white, no tale in twisted vine and script, no
Desecration of your terrain,
Alteration in rhythmic refrain and ouch, red everywhere.
I would argue with you but I must please
Your gravity has me riveted, taken aback by the venom
Vehement and pure, spat in their direction
The canvas people walking around
Illustrated versions of lifelong perspectives
Their jewels of ink shimmering in trapped caresses,
Gathered in unison images binding intent to design...
My wont, this desire to be amongst them
Magick workers unleashing heaven as they pass through their days
Eating lunch with their besties in an act of casual sorcery
A beauty never intended
For me.
Sulking, quiet mouthed, you
Taking a little hand for a walk, down my spine, down curve of limb
Over pale milky hills and valleys
You would stop short at the first letter advance
Touch me not, touch me not
Simmering anger at the craven trespass, inelegant in your eyes, crass
Decoration of your domain
Knives in your eyes makes me think twice, cut by ice
I drop the question, keep the peace, yet
I remain
An open page to the world’s eyes
And wear my secret inkings on the inside.
Nov 9, 2018
Nov 9, 2018 at 3:03 AM UTC
She was his while trying to be yours
Splitting her heart in two
Entertaining him while trying to love you
no matter why she is heartbroken
Aug 24, 2018
Aug 24, 2018 at 12:01 PM UTC
#
*A view of blue leading a glaring eye
Toward a deathless heaven’s sigh.
Softly sinking the trembling sun,
As haply as I look upon you as I run.
In these thoughts I find myself desiring
God’s art within this simple man’s inspiration.
I look to the East, I look to the West
Looking for the primmer, Heaven’s Rosetta Stone, lest
It all be to difficult to keep it in heaven's focus.
I clean the lens and offer its richness
To a legendary creature somewhere adrift.
She gazes through my eyepiece bereft
Of the inner truth that she sees.
Focused ahead of you, you see the Helix Nebula
Otherwise known as the Eye of God, the Alpha,
The Omega, the Beginning and the End.
It’s then you see your body transcend.
You look from the eyepiece and then into my eyes
And I feel us tantricly knowing that we are soul mates.
“What do you see?” I ask as you turn back into the scope.
You answer, “I see the thread of hope
That holds the entire garland together.
I see that we are small and the world is big.
I see that we came from the one end and forever
We will return to the other."
Looking away from the scope she continues;
"In between in this life there is a contradiction
A duality – And if we are to ever experience
This oneness, the one mirrored in this eyepiece,
Then we as a pair need to break
Through the apparent reality and take
Hold of the hidden reality."
Looking back through the eyepiece
She continues, "That which I see
Is at the source of our dual niche.
Accessing, manifesting..
Mastering this duality returning us always
To source.."
*
#
Jun 6, 2018
Jun 6, 2018 at 1:37 PM UTC
She laid her head against a tree.
Pink petals blossomed and fell on her head.
It tickled her nose as she smelled the scarlet
and the flowers around her bloomed and spread.
Her pale blue eyes shimmered from the sun
while her body was covered by the tree's shade.
She scooped up a rosy flower gently in her hand
and tucked it in her messy braid.
Spring had arrived with all its blossoms
and she sniffed the soft aroma of this season.
She loved the colors and all the sunshine
which was all so very pleasing.
Apr 3, 2018
Apr 3, 2018 at 9:47 PM UTC