#platypus
The Platypus
(a limerick for adults, teens and older children)
by Michael R. Burch
The platypus, myopic,
is ungainly, not ******
His feet for bed
are over-webbed,
and what of his proboscis?
The platypus, though, is eager
although his means are meager.
His sight is poor;
perhaps he’ll score
with a passing duck or ******
Keywords/Tags: limerick, double limerick, humor, light verse, nonsense verse, platypus, ****** duck, proboscis, nose, beak, feet, webbed, flippers, eyes, eyesight, sight, vision, myopia, myopic, animal, nature, ****** erotica
The Mallard
by Michael R. Burch
The mallard is a fellow
whose lips are long and yellow
with which he, honking, kisses
his ***** boisterous mistress:
my pond’s their loud bordello!
Dot Spotted
by Michael R. Burch
There once was a leopardess, Dot,
who indignantly answered: "I'll not!
The gents are impressed
with the way that I'm dressed.
I wouldn't change even one spot."
Stage Craft-y
by Michael R. Burch
There once was a dromedary
who befriended a crafty canary.
Budgie said, "You can’t sing,
but now, here’s the thing—
just think of the tunes you can carry!"
Ballade of the Bicameral Camel
by Michael R. Burch
There once was a camel who loved to ****
Please get your lewd minds out of their slump!
He loved to give RIDES on his large, lordly lump!
Clyde Lied!
by Michael R. Burch
There once was a mockingbird, Clyde,
who bragged of his prowess, but lied.
To his new wife he sighed,
"When again, gentle bride?"
"Nevermore!" bright-eyed Raven replied.
Other Limericks
The Better Man
by Michael R. Burch
Dear Ed: I don't understand why
you will publish this other guy—
when I'm brilliant, devoted,
one hell of a poet!
Yet you publish Anonymous. Fie!
Fie! A pox on your head if you favor
this poet who's dubious, unsavor
y, inconsistent in texts,
no address (I checked!) :
since he's plagiarized Unknown, I'll wager!
"Of Tetley's and V-2's" or "Why Not to Bomb the Brits"
by Michael R. Burch
The English are very hospitable,
but tea-less, alas, they grow pitiable...
or pitiless, rather,
and quite in a lather!
O bother, they're more than formidable.
Mar 8, 2020
Mar 8, 2020 at 11:22 PM UTC
compared me to
an
platypus
think she
just likes
toughing
them
last
three letters
she felt the word
hydrophobic tingling
on
an
count me in you poem
type
of
feel
she made me feel
as
an
mere
pebbles
in
an
vision
we turn
her into
an
older
pebbles
platypus
in
an
hydrophobic dream
screams miss hydness
?
...
..
.
Jan 19, 2018
Jan 19, 2018 at 9:35 AM UTC
gently
while
we
sleep
he
kisses me
into an dream
his arms hold me
his body enters me
gentle he is over
and
over
gently
he kisses me
?
...
..
.
Jan 17, 2018
Jan 17, 2018 at 9:38 AM UTC
Uncle, Uncle, I can't take anymore
Uncle, Uncle, I'm already on the floor
I've already said Uncle, so give me some slack
Universe please, stop jumping on my back
Stop with your antics, your constant attacks
You let me progress, just to be taken aback
Once again you have left me weeping at the door
Once again you have shaken me to the core
Uncle, Uncle, I can't take anymore
Uncle, Uncle, I'm already on the floor
I've already said Uncle, so please let me up
I don't want to drink anymore from wrath's flowing cup
I'm tired of being the platypus, your little joke
Tired of the agonizing feelings, you leave me here to choke
Once again I'm drowning, as you hold my head under
Why is it my life you choose to plunder
Uncle, Uncle, I can't take anymore
Uncle, Uncle, I'm already on the floor
Aug 15, 2016
Aug 15, 2016 at 10:56 AM UTC