#personalgrowth
***
Still That Boy
There once was a lad sat in Carlton town,
By an old oak tree where he’d often sit down,
Not lost in a daze—
But deep in his plays,
With whole other worlds spinning round.
I saw myself brave with a sword in my hand,
A knight riding strong through a faraway land,
Fighting dragons and flame,
For honour, not fame,
Doing things only dreamers had planned.
Then I’d turn to the sea with a shift of the day,
A pirate now sailing wherever I may,
Through storms I would steer,
With no sign of fear,
Captain of all in my way.
Travelling farther again—past the stars I would roam,
No longer on earth, no longer at home,
Through galaxies wide,
With courage as guide,
Finding places no one had known.
But I never stood there on my own in any fight,
There were others beside me, steady and right—
A wizard so wise,
A warrior who’d rise,
And a healer who carried the light.
Together we faced whatever would come,
Dark forces, hard roads—we never would run,
Each strength played its part,
Head, hands, and heart,
And somehow the battles we won.
But life has a way of quieting dreams,
Or making them smaller than how they once seemed,
I thought I’d outgrown
The worlds I had known,
And left them behind— merely dreams.
Till a time in my life when I felt off my feet,
Unsure of my path, not steady or sure,
And I reached back inside
Where those old voices hide,
And found the boy was still there.
Those heroes I made weren’t just in my head,
They were lessons in how I should walk where I tread,
Be brave when it’s tough,
Be kind when it’s rough,
Stand firm in the words that I said.
I picked it back up—not the sword, but the way,
Not the ship, but the choice of how I would stay,
Facing life as it came,
Still playing the same old game—
Just with real things that come each day.
Because truth is, that lad never really left me,
He still sits by that oak where the world used to be,
And when I write lines,
It’s his voice undermine—
Still shaping the man that you see.
Not a knight, not a pirate, not lost up in space—
Just a man trying hard to stand in his place,
With a bit of that fire,
That old, quiet desire,
And a boy— still writing truth through his voice.
Apr 15
Apr 15, 2026 at 7:54 AM UTC
— Navigating Life —
***
Life is a journey,
not a straight road but one that turns;
we learn to accept the detours
as they guide us forward
forward into the busy noise of life,
where everything feels rushed and unclear;
yet in the middle of it all
we can still find calm moments
moments held in fragile hearts,
beating alongside brave souls;
a quiet balance between struggle and strength,
where we learn to keep going
going along life’s winding path,
filled with love, joy, and sorrow;
each step tells a story
and shapes who we become
becoming someone through change,
because life grows through new seasons;
in endings that lead to new beginnings
and lessons that teach us to let go
letting go, we find ourselves again
on the same winding road;
life is a journey that continues
and we still choose to embrace the detours
By Paul Baldry (LongJohn)
Mar 29
Mar 29, 2026 at 7:26 AM UTC
I’ve turned into a person
who smiles at heartbreaks,
becomes silent when angry,
and still chooses to prioritize others over myself—
not because I am strong all the time,
but because I am learning how to be.
Apr 2
Apr 2, 2026 at 10:35 AM UTC
— Learning as We Go —
***
We move through life with open hearts,
dancing through moments we don’t fully understand,
understand that even in uncertainty we are guided,
guided by something deeper than we can explain.
Explain the shadows and we begin to see their meaning,
meaning found in the lessons they quietly hold,
hold onto them and they begin to shape us,
shape us as life shifts like changing seasons.
Seasons turn and we learn to let go,
go forward into days we did not expect,
expect storms to come and test our strength,
strength that asks us to become the calm.
Calm in the middle of all that rushes around us,
around us are small moments waiting to be noticed,
noticed in the simplest and quietest ways,
ways that remind us where beauty truly lives.
Lives are shaped by paths we’ve yet to walk,
walk them and we discover who we are becoming,
becoming through change we cannot avoid,
avoid nothing, because it all helps us grow.
Grow like a flame that flickers in the dark,
dark only until its light begins to show,
showing us that even the briefest moments matter,
matter enough to guide us along the way.
— By Paul Baldry (LongJohn) —
Mar 29
Mar 29, 2026 at 7:21 AM UTC
I Am My Mother’s Daughter
Growing up, I used to say I wasn’t my mother’s daughter.
I saw the resemblance between us, and I hated it.
I hated it because I never got to know the younger version of her.
To me, she had always just been “my mother”.
I never imagined her as a young girl.
Never once thought she had been my age before.
I acted as if she had never been
”just a girl”
as if she hadn’t had friends the way I do,
as if her life had begun the moment I did.
But growing older has taught me something I was too young to see.
My mother was not always just my mother.
She was Kate. Not just Kate she was called Kate olafemi oju ni face.
She was a woman whose beauty turned heads,
who could walk into a room and leave men breathless.
Now, in my late teens, I see it clearly.
The more I grow, the more I become her.
The way I dress.
The things that catch my interest.
My sense of style.
And whenever I go somewhere she was once known,
my face is traced back to hers before my name is learned.
I have her smile.
Her voice.
The way she frowns at the smallest inconvenience.
The way she dances to every song
even when she doesn’t know how.
I see her in myself when someone says something tacky,
when I cover my mouth and laugh without thinking.
She does this too,
and for the first time, that realization brings me comfort.
The way I analyze things
it is exactly like her.
People used to say, “you’re becoming more like her”,
and I would argue.
But growing up has humbled me.
It has shown me how ungrateful I once was,
and how unfair it was not to appreciate what she gave me.
She gave me her life.
Her soul.
Her happiness.
And I regret not honoring that sooner.
I am strong today because I inherited her strength.
I carry her resilience in my bones.
Maybe I don’t say this enough,
but she will forever be my one and only.
So let it be known
I am, and will always be,
my mother’s daughter.
Mar 19
Mar 19, 2026 at 9:55 AM UTC
Dear younger me,
I know you’re confused right now.
You’re sitting in a quiet room,
staring at the cracked ceiling above your bed,
the slow fan turning in tired circles,
wondering why life feels heavier for you
than it seems for everyone else.
You think something is wrong with you.
You watch others move forward easily—
passing exams, making plans,
laughing without carrying weight.
And you wonder
why every step for you
feels like walking through mud
on a long road after rain.
I wish I could sit beside you for a moment.
Not to change anything,
because strangely…
every painful chapter you’re living now
is shaping the person I became.
Yes, you will fail sometimes.
Yes, people will misunderstand you.
Some will leave.
Some will laugh.
There will be nights
when the world feels too heavy
and the silence of your room
feels louder than any crowd.
There will even be moments
when you feel lost enough
to question whether you should continue at all.
But listen carefully.
Those nights will not destroy you.
They will build something inside you
that many people never develop—
depth.
One day you will understand
that pain was not your enemy.
It was a teacher.
A quiet teacher.
It taught you patience
during the slow days when nothing moved.
It taught you kindness
when you began to see how much others suffer.
It taught you humility
when pride would have made you blind.
You won’t become the loudest person in the room.
But you will become someone
who understands people.
And that is a rare kind of strength.
One day you will leave home,
walk through unfamiliar cities,
and begin building a life
piece by piece.
Slowly.
Quietly.
Step by step along that muddy road.
And one day,
the boy who once felt like a burden
will stand as a man
his family can lean on.
Your parents will no longer look at you
with worry in their eyes.
They will look at you
with calm.
Maybe even pride.
And when that day comes,
you will finally understand something important—
None of those painful years were wasted.
They were forging you.
The road was simply longer for you.
But one day
your steps will reach solid ground.
So don’t hate yourself
for struggling.
Just keep walking.
I promise you—
I’ll be waiting for you there.
— From the man
you are slowly becoming.
Mar 7
Mar 7, 2026 at 3:57 AM UTC
White tees. Tank tops. Bare arms.
Thoughts trail backwards—
my thinking cap worn in reverse.
I reach for a verse.
...but my Bible
is well-dressed in dust.
Some days I wear faith
like a sweatshirt— soft at first,
until pressure pulls at every fibre
and I want it off.
Peeling pride from my chest
should feel freeing—
...instead, I feel naked
in ways fabric never fixed.
Rags & Expensive tags —
another kind of poor.
Time wears us all thin, while we
keep wearing life’s heavy clothes—
stitched with ego, tailored by fear.
Dressed to survive.
...quietly undressed by truth.
Feb 14
Feb 14, 2026 at 2:38 PM UTC
I would give up some happiness
for a
little depth & to gain some
mental space to try to think for
myself. I might
spend a bit of time alone. But
I’d just use it to try
to grow in originality without
external influence
trying to adjust what suits them.
Still, I would give
up some depth to make another
happy. So I could give back
what was given to me.
Accountability to become a better
person.
Jan 12
Jan 12, 2026 at 1:05 AM UTC
You look so much
better now —
“I was always better,
You just didn’t stay long
Enough to finally see it.”
_Personal Growth_.
Dec 11, 2025
Dec 11, 2025 at 1:08 AM UTC
Ladies, fire up your brains, let your thoughts ignite.
If you don't, you'll start to dread being a shadow in the light.
Mount aboard... Let your brain drive you to the gain train.
Mount aboard..Let your brain
drive you to the gain train.
Petty pessimists are going to color your grey matter as insane, of course.
but they'll mimic your moves
once they see
what you gain from your course.
When you conquer all obstacles blocking your tracks..
And you'll ride higher than cowboys on horseback.
All you need is vision
embedded in your memory.
Deploy your knowledge..
and the beast of life is
Conquered, slain.
Dec 4, 2025
Dec 4, 2025 at 7:00 PM UTC
__Dear IS__,
Is it fair you hold the key to my drive— to make something, yet
make it too frightening to try? Your breath pretends to drift slow
in my ear, but beneath it, you’re clearing the field, planting seeds
of every fear you know will take root.
Is it the power lines I see wired from me to you— feeding your
hands as you siphon my strength, splitting my will from the things
I keep tucked deep in the vault of myself? As you arrange them like
weapons, calling each by name to remind me of the parts I’ve tried
to love but sometimes can’t.
Is it the way I urge, wish, and will to act— only for you to spool film
from my past, running old scenes like warnings until my courage
caves to your script? Your message is _seen_: as nothing moves unless
you approve.
Is that you, who rests on my chest like a stone, chastising, shrinking
me to the size of my doubts— small flaws made giant, slippery
floors of thought that tilt more than they ever should? Well… not
anymore. You don’t get to rule me, or write my rules.
Goodbye, Insecurity—as if I could ever feel secure in you.
Yours,
faithfully unfaithful,
Ex-companion.
Aug 13, 2025
Aug 13, 2025 at 11:53 AM UTC
My world was once built on a shifting of sand
A fortress of whispers I held in my hand
I guarded its gates and I prayed they would hold
A story of love that was growing so old
But I traded that crown for a different kind of prize
In the service of others, with new, open eyes
I wore a new symbol, a promise, a creed
A red cross of healing for a desperate need
So if you should wonder how I finally grew,
And let go the ghost of a yesterday's you,
Know that a new purpose showed me the light
And led me to love in the stillness of night
-by Majd Saab
Aug 2, 2025
Aug 2, 2025 at 3:36 PM UTC
I used to hold truth
like a weapon —
sharp, clean, final.
But now it moves.
Not like a lie,
not like denial —
but like a tide
that’s been waiting for me
to grow strong enough
to swim deeper.
What I swore was solid,
now trembles in my hands.
Not because it was false —
but because I’ve changed.
And now I fear
not the truth itself,
but the way
it keeps becoming.
Jul 23, 2025
Jul 23, 2025 at 4:29 PM UTC
Giving myself odd looks, while trying to even the score—
pointing out my faults like counting sins on abacuses.
Too many to tally, and every action I take I just hope
adds up to something. But I’m outnumbered by myself.
Feels like an inverted midnight— too heavy to be noon.
Doing the most, while barely praying at all— maybe
because doubt multiplies faster than faith settles.
Failures pile up like fractions with no common
denominator— just me, subtracting reasons to believe,
dividing purpose by disbelief, and hoping somehow
I’ll solve it all to find some peace.
Trying to count what I can still hold, not out-of-hand
habits or dust-covered promises. My Bible feels more
antique than answers— pages heavy with silence
until I wiped it off and saw… another layer still
hiding underneath. Like dusk, again. But this time,
_I opened it— and let it open me._
Jul 17, 2025
Jul 17, 2025 at 5:25 PM UTC
It is on my tongue—
a feeling
palatable,
aerodynamic transition,
palpable.
Redesigning for flight,
for movement through resistance,
for letting go of drag.
Whereas my muscles would tense up,
a few inches from the ground—
now I’ve learned that to clip one’s wings
is to stay anchored, be shackled down.
Not that being grounded
isn’t a form of comfort, safety, or security—
but there’s a shift that comes
from renegotiating the terms
you’ve set with your own mind.
It’s a daunting challenge,
yet a necessary one.
Because I want to see the world,
not from behind a pane of glass,
but with wind in my lungs
and wonder in my chest.
And I want to fall in love—
falling into bed with you,
multiple strings attached,
and still feel like the luckiest person alive.
To do that,
I am taking flight
in ways I could not have foreseen
as a child.
Jul 12, 2025
Jul 12, 2025 at 4:36 AM UTC
Everything is so terrifying for the introvert going outside—
the overthinker rehearses all of their prestored sentences,
Sitting on impeccable lines with no trace of uncertainty,
but ever so certain that it’s what the ear wants to hear.
The hopeless romantic knows the picture of a good love
story, but can’t seem to paint that picture for themselves—
Because imagination never quite imitates real emotion.
_And it’s irritating._
But haven’t I been them all? A single character playing
too many roles— the pencil in my story, trying to sketch
out the scenery of a better life. The pen, trying to write
out a good script that fits in the ink folds of my cerebellum.
My skin wears the wrinkles of time, bruises like an overcoat—
a weathered face, but it’s body has no spring in its step.
I’ve been depressed. But when you’re made to grow up too
fast, to keep pace with the world, what else do you expect?
Still, don’t expect me to be anything less than my level best.
Elevated fears go up, while my hope quietly goes down.
Yet on the upside? I stopped pretending to flip my frown
upside down. Some days I’m up. Most days I’m so down.
But I’m not always down— just holding onto the little hope
I find in creation; beauty painted out from my frustrations.
Like the weather, my mood keeps shifting. And whether
you’re caught in a long winter after a short summer,
Don’t worry— _it’s all just a passing season._
Jun 27, 2025
Jun 27, 2025 at 4:58 PM UTC
Just how glass cracks
after a lapse,
one should make a gaffe
to smash the mirror of arrogance.
May 23, 2025
May 23, 2025 at 6:05 PM UTC
Don’t let a day to come in your life when you grieve on your past days for not using them wisely.
May 20, 2025
May 20, 2025 at 12:40 AM UTC
Eyelids fluttering closed, I see those eyes,
Swirls of hazel that still thaw my heart,
Maybe I should've known from the start,
now I'm paying the price, tearing me apart
I let him in, a little too fast,
held on to him a little too tight,
thought I'd survive the blast,
that I'd rise, not fall in the fight
It's been a whole year since,
the scars remain fresh still,
maybe one day I'll feel the thrill,
when my heart puts together it's flints
May 10, 2025
May 10, 2025 at 2:51 PM UTC
In her presence,
a quiet dawn breaks,
soft and steady,
like the first light of day.
Her heart speaks in whispers,
a language I’ve always known,
no words needed,
just a feeling,
like the earth calling me home.
Her smile is the calm
that stills the storm inside,
a gentle breeze on a restless sea,
where I can find peace,
where I can finally breathe.
She holds the weight of the world
with a grace that never falters,
turning every moment
into something warm,
something true.
I don’t need to understand it all—
I just need to feel it,
this quiet, tender magic
that wraps itself around me,
whispering that it’s okay
to simply be.
And in her gaze,
there’s a garden,
where every part of me can grow,
where every shadow finds its light,
and I can rest
in the softness of her soul.
Apr 20, 2025
Apr 20, 2025 at 5:04 PM UTC
I met a version of myself,
A past that lived in quiet hell,
His shoulders weighed with untold truths,
In his eyes, the ghosts of youth.
He stood, proud but lost inside,
A prisoner of dreams denied,
I knelt in shame, a ghost of me,
Torn between what was and could be.
"You know," I said, "you've been this way,
Caught in a cage where shadows play,
But let me tell you, now I see,
You're still inside of me, and free."
He smiled with pain, the truth untold,
"I never wanted this, you know—
This life of striving to please the blind,
The masks we wore, the thoughts we mined."
But in his eyes, I saw the change,
A flicker in the dark, so strange,
And I realized, as time flew past,
We'd both been caught, both built to last.
Now here I stand, no more a slave,
No longer bound to past’s dark wave,
I freed myself, and freed him too,
The shackles gone, the world anew.
And though the road remains unclear,
I hold his voice, I hold it near,
For in his steps, I see my own—
The strength I’ve sought, now fully grown.
The shame, the guilt, they start to fade,
Replaced by light, by love’s cascade,
And in that moment, I finally see,
That all I sought was always me.
Apr 14, 2025
Apr 14, 2025 at 3:43 AM UTC
Well, I've become who
I didn't want to be, and she --
is okay with it.
Apr 14, 2025
Apr 14, 2025 at 3:36 AM UTC
From a bench in the park,
I saw myself walking.
And I thought,
he looks good,
he works, he writes,
he does what he loves,
he has something to offer.
What I offer has value,
I have value.
Mar 15, 2025
Mar 15, 2025 at 10:57 AM UTC
Every morning when I wake up,
I tell myself how much I love myself.
I look in the mirror,
and say:
How beautiful!
I listen to myself
when I have a problem.
I prepare a delicious breakfast,
after work,
in the evenings, I train.
I take care of my friendships
and also my nutrition.
I take care of my appearance
and my thoughts.
I caress myself,
I give myself gifts,
and words of encouragement.
"Every gesture I give myself
is a hug to my soul,
and to my inner child.
I take care of myself, I love myself."
Mar 14, 2025
Mar 14, 2025 at 5:26 PM UTC
So many times,
life denied me
what I longed for,
what I hoped for,
what I thought was mine.
Sadness,
uncertainty,
wrapped around me.
Why others?
Why not me?
Time and again,
I thought I understood:
It wasn’t mine,
I didn’t deserve it.
But today,
under the sun,
I ask myself:
Why not?
I am worthy.
I know how to love,
I strive every day.
I respect,
I believe,
I share,
I give.
And those who know how to give,
also know how to receive.
I deserve everything in my life.
I deserve freedom.
I deserve health.
I deserve peace.
I deserve prosperity.
I deserve love.
I deserve happiness.
What are you denying yourself?
Mar 4, 2025
Mar 4, 2025 at 7:27 PM UTC