#pastself
Dear past self,
I hope you're doing alright
Though I know you aren’t
I hope someday you’ll sit down to write
Or pick up your guitar and,
Know that you’ll be okay tonight
I know you treat that bed like a tomb
And your family is worried about you
Your face becomes gaunt
Your brain dies doing an assignment that's long overdue
And someday you’ll forget about cliques
And that toxic friend group,
And learn to speak out about the subjects,
That are considered taboo
Someday you’ll put down the blade
And learn that you don’t deserve pain
That those girls shouldn’t beat you down
And maul you until only your bones remain
I hope you know that you won't ever be perfect
Because beauty is hard to maintain,
When the voices get louder
And you’re going insane
But past self,
I hope that someday you read this,
And know that you will escape
You will crawl out of that abyss
And when you do,
Know that I’m proud of you
Apr 29, 2025
Apr 29, 2025 at 8:12 AM UTC
Sometimes, I wish that I were different
I am not talking about weight, height, or physically
I wish I were the old me
The nice me
The one who didn't expect ulterior motives
Expect to be hurt
The one who was afraid to say no
Or come off as mean
Sometimes, I think I'm still in there
Deep down
Underneath the fake cloak of harshness wrapped around me
Used as a shield
Protecting me from the world
Still protecting the old me
May 8, 2024
May 8, 2024 at 8:31 PM UTC
She who spoke with no love,
waited on external acceptance
That, it never came
She who found comfort in a shell
Delicate and golden, but unrecognizable
to a polluted mind
She who bowed to insecurity
Scoured and torched by internal pain
She no longer seeks to remain
And she no longer will.
Nov 2, 2020
Nov 2, 2020 at 12:49 PM UTC
Growing up all I wanted was to be pretty
My dreams and ambitions
Revolved around physical aspects of myself
I always told myself that I would be better if I was
Skinnier
Or prettier
And eventually I couldn’t tell the difference between
Want and need
I was convinced my depression would go away
If I was 100 pounds lighter
If my skin was clearer
That I’d be more talented if I was a size zero
Because then I’d be able to write about happiness
And someone loving me back
Instead of being sad all the time
If I could tell my younger self one thing
It would be that you were not put on this earth
Just to be pretty
So now I tell myself that I am brave
And strong and resilient
I lived through parts of my life that should’ve defeated me
But I’m still standing here
And maybe I would be happy if I was a size zero
But I need to learn what happiness feels like
Without beauty getting in the way
Apr 3, 2019
Apr 3, 2019 at 8:22 PM UTC