#pastregrets
If I could go back;
Then at first I would apologise to all my " mistakes ",
MISTAKES??
Mistake of not chosing right career at right time.
Mistake of felling in "Love".
Mistake of being absent on my" brother "birthday.
Mistake of trusting people, who didn't belong to me.
Mistake of being an "open book" to everyone.
Mistake of not prioritizing myself.
Mistake of being "super nervous" at my interview .
I WISH I COULD GO BACK....................................
I WISH I COULD GO BACK....................................
I WISH I COULD GO BACK....................................
Apr 22
Apr 22, 2026 at 11:48 AM UTC
Past
Imagine a trailer
The smell of **** fills the closed walls
A women most would call mom
Sits in a haze screaming at her reflection
She's here but she isn't
Her body is here
Her head isn’t
Noxious chemical odors
Burn the eyes
A young girl
Two older boys
Sit and watch
Looking at my brother
He looks at me
So young
Our older brother gone
Eyes blood red
Scratches cover his arms
Daddy didn’t like him very much
Daddy didn’t like any of us very much
But that’s okay. He's gone now
Blue lights are American
Blue lights took him
Blue lights are bad
brother whispers in the dark
But they made daddy gone
So they can’t be that bad
Looking at mommy
She’s quiet now
She’s my future
She is American
I look just like her
Can’t talk
So hungry
But shhh don’t whine
Or mommy will wakeup
She’s my future daddy said to me looking at mommy
Daddy didn’t like any of us very much
Were an American family
Mommy screams. Daddy’s mad
I'm mute. Twin brother is sad
Older brother is high
Blue lights are bad
These things I know
Replaying in my head
I am American
This is
My past.
My present.
My future.
Future
Years later I'm in elementary.
Birth mom didn’t want me.
She took my brothers
She left me
But that’s okay now
Because I’m better.
I'm in school
Were American
All the kids talk
I can only say
The first three letters
In the alphabet
My voice hurts
Everyone is kind
So much different
Than what iv always known
Adults are American
Adults are patient
They aren’t gonna hurt me
Still, I hide when they yell
When a hand raises I flinch
But it's okay now
Because I'm better
I have a family now
We are an American family
Mom doesn’t hate me
Daddy holds my hand
Teachers speak kindly
I don’t know what they say
I don’t understand their words
But it's okay now
Because I'm better
I'm American
Years later and here I am
I'm in high school
I understand the words
Well at least most of them
Friends surround me
I'm happy now
I'm better now
My baby brothers
Are my light
My younger sisters
Are my path
My friends
Make me smile
I look at my mom
Her long blond hair
She’s happy
Daddy loves her
I don’t look like her
Her blood isn’t in my blood
But my future looks like her
With a home and children
Happiness and a partner
I won’t be like my birth mom
I can do better
I can be better
I will have a better future
Birth mom and dad might
Have given me a bad past
But my mom and dad
Have given me what
Most don’t have a
Better future.
My past is bad
My present is better.
My future will be good.
Apr 17, 2020
Apr 17, 2020 at 10:09 AM UTC