#parentification
A child is once an adult once they comfort the baby and forget how to sulk,
once they have lost the ability to quit their brain,
once they stop wishing for toys and instead wishing that they felt sane.
By convincing the sheep that they needn’t not weep because the wolves had already been fed,
but what she did not include was that it was by the means of her own arms and legs.
Soothing the child whispering she’d “only be gone a little while”,
and yes,
she has to go live her life.
Preaching to ignore the slurs and every each cruel world,
saying “don’t let it corrupt your pure souls”.
With tears flooding her eyes,
and sorrow in her smile,
sorry that she has to leave them in a nest of thorns.
-Apologies, E.S.
May 16
May 16, 2026 at 12:55 AM UTC
Having to carry the weight of everyones dreams since i could walk
Had to learn to be an adult before i was taught
Constantly having to act a decade ahead
While still having a time to go to bed
Eight going on eighteen
Expected to be twenty while still a pre-teen
A binding contract I never signed up for
Feels like eternity forevermore
The weight I carry makes my knees cave in
Even after all these years, their words crawl under my skin
Cutting me down bit by bit
Making me feel like I'm not worth it
Living vicariously through me
But they never even try to see
Who I am
Getting screamed at for not saying ma’am
Anger at me for being “too old”
But my childhood continues to be withhold
Do better be better they always say to me
But what if what I'm doing is the
Best that I can
be?
Feb 9
Feb 9, 2026 at 9:40 AM UTC
I am a product of my parents pain
Holding the weight of their trauma on my shoulders no older than nine.
I'd be lying if I said I regret the roles I played
in the chaos they create
We were only little kids, up the stairs not far away,
watching the cracks run up the wall, breathing in menthol
this was our fate
And from that day, the chaos insued, mini mommy #2
sleepless nights, blood shot eyes. Just like the baby was mine.
Since day 1 it's what I was expected to do.
My baby brother was no less than 2
The night I awoke to screaming and banging,
I knew the role it was time to assume,
I rushed down in a panic to grab him out of their room.
I froze in fear watching the anger trickle down their faces and seeing the way my father paces.
My friends were all dreaming in their beds
while I was on the phone with Mamaw trying to use my head,
To get out this house, before we're dead.
In the morning when they all got ready for math I started to buckle his carseat so fast,
ready to leave this mess
I just want my baby brother to get some rest.
They're screaming through the walls again,
yet my little sister silently sleeps through their soundly battles
while I hear my brother cry for the 19th time
Making my way downstairs
Peering into the room
just to get ****** into their doom, forced to choose a side.
Becoming apart of the fight that night made them make amends
finding a common enemy means they can be friends.
I just wanted quiet
I just wanted peace.
I just wanted calm and for my baby brother to sleep.
I swear I'm a good mother to him I swear it's so true,
I know that I am because I'm doing more than you.
I need my baby to sleep. It's good for him, you see?
So you have to find common ground by villainizing me
for a little bit of tranquility,
maybe we can all get some sleep.
My father is full of rage
and my mother seeks control from her anxiety,
they were a dangerous combination of chemicals
causing me to sizzle over slowly, symptomatically
Ruining my brain functions,
systematically.
Though, I have gained from them every part they hate about themselves.
Searching to find their insecurities in me
but can't relieve myself of their generational wealth of trauma,
so maybe we can just pretend it's all okay,
just for a day.
I can't untagled the parts of them that are within me.
I am forever bound and chained by their past and pain,
there will always be pieces of them that are pieces of me.
I feel my father's rage and I seek my mother's control,
yet I'm grieving them like they're dead,
while trying to picture what I'd really do about their death.
The weight of their mistakes push down tightly on my chest.
I don't like confrontation,
but I'm staring the sun straight in the face
Begging you both to love me properly
Praying for a life where you guys kept me safe.
I just wanted to be your kid.
Not a piggy bank vault of hidden secrets
forced to keep collecting and harboring your emotional baggage, just for you to forget
Leaving me with lockets of memories
That will forever remain hard to piece.
Feb 11, 2025
Feb 11, 2025 at 2:12 AM UTC
She stands on a chair
Looking out the window
Above the kitchen sink,
Scrubbing baby bottles,
Sippy cups, and baby
Food jars.
She sees her entire
Second grade class
Playing a game of
Tag without her.
The baby cries from
The bedroom.
She jumps down
And runs to the
Back of the house,
Dragging the chair
With her.
She jumps on the chair
And lifts the baby out
Of the crib.
She reminds herself
To support his head
While she walks to
Their mother’s door.
Her mother is asleep
In the arms of a different
Man than last week,
She smells the all-too
Familiar mixture of
*** and Wine.
The man opens his
Eyes and barks at
Her to get out.
She carries the baby
To the ratty couch
And feeds him
As they sit with the
Two other children,
Listening to her
Peers laughter through the
Window above the sink.
Jan 5, 2016
Jan 5, 2016 at 1:45 PM UTC
Your mum wants to be remembered to you,
That you do not love any more your dad,
I know that you don't think,
With this fear which we suppose
If you do not comply her,
But don't worry,
I know it is heavy,
My boy, don't cry,
Dry up your sadness,
No, I don't blame you.
Listen your inner voice,
Time will proved us to be right,
And keep us close for ever.
I will always be there for you,
My son, wherever you are.
Someday you will understand better,
You will be free of your own choices,
And I know that this day,
We will be together as before,
With the pride and the happiness
which build our lives and more.
Apr 16, 2015
Apr 16, 2015 at 5:50 AM UTC