#painandgrowth
And what have I done, a heart on the floor, down for the count,
knocked out by one single flaw. Bathed in light, then a shower
of stars, my dawn breaking into tremors. Oh how she startled
my soul, and moved me like an earthquake—but I should have
known, every quake leaves cracks behind.
And so I drained these tears into a teacup, she smelled of coffee—
a buzz I thought I could hold onto, but a high that would crash.
Still it was more than a crush, but still it crushed me, in her
absence.
And it's a chest searching for her heart, it was that treasure to be
in love. Her crystal tears pierced like glass, diamond skin shining
against the night. I kissed her softly like petals once— a flower
crying toward the sun, wings stretching, fragile, _open_.
And she never sinned against me, but I sinned for both of us—
wasting our time, cursing the very love I swore to keep sacred.
She covered me in kisses like a new born, but this child grew too
far, too fast, away from her arms.
Now these tears run cold, drying out the rain. And still, their
beauty remains— washing it all away, even the memories of pain.
Oct 5, 2025
Oct 5, 2025 at 3:46 PM UTC
I've also felt
all windows were watching
all walls were listening,
I'd also felt at that time
streets and footpaths were speaking
and veils were lifting.
I've felt
even when I was walking
even when I was stopping
all trees and birds
sky and stars
bosoms and bangles
were seeing everything.
It's true
in that hesitation
whether to stop or proceed
get off or get over,
all roads had appeared
unfathomable.
It's true
I had also read
on the face of surroundings
some broken
some disconnected
some cracked expectations.
I've touched some sentences
and have kissed some words.
Eyes that obstruct the road can be removed
but what happens when hearts block the passage?
that's why
I've also pretended not to see
the windows and walls.
At such time
it has also seemed to me
there've been conspiracies against me,
search for instruments
to hit me in my words
has also been going on.
I've also felt
those eyes and looks
have also been sending a river
of the flowers of feelings somewhere,
raising a hill of the aromas of imagination.
And have experienced at such time
my mind sleeping in the joy of love.
and have felt some arid passion taking me somewhere
lopping off sensitive branches of life.
At such moments
felt my mind wake up with the temptation of life
gathering courage for flowering beauty
even in the desert of living.
Do not think
I've reached where I am now
by slipping like a landslide
or evaporating like a cloud.
I've climbed up here
holding the hilt of time's sword
after driving it
into my tender heart.
Whether anybody comes to convince me or not
a part of my life does always ache
arresting my chest.
-०-
Jun 9, 2025
Jun 9, 2025 at 1:12 AM UTC
The world of lies, with hollow eyes,
No, it is not the place for me.
You know I'm lonely—so lonely,
No one beside me, lost in the sea.
I long for a soulmate to carve a name
In the golden sands by the restless waves.
But the tides will come and wash it away—
Who do I turn to? Who will stay?
The sun exists, yet hides at night,
Just like me—I seem alright,
But deep inside, I fight my plight.
This world is a shadow, near in light,
Gone in the dark, out of sight.
This world won't change, I know it's true—
But one day, gold will come to you.
Let the dogs bark, let them sneer,
One day, their voices will disappear.
If they won’t let you fly, walk the sky,
If they block your path, keep moving by.
Push ahead, no matter how,
Chase your dreams, don’t stop now.
Without pain, life is incomplete,
Wings will sprout, though your back may bleed.
This world won’t change, but still, I try.
I am alone, lost in the night.
I don’t know when or how I’ll fall,
But I know—again—I’ll hit the floor.
****** tears from words that sting,
Yet life sways like a see-saw swing.
One day you're high, one day you're low,
But through it all, you learn and grow.
Mar 29, 2025
Mar 29, 2025 at 7:10 AM UTC
I wish I arrived at humility out of love,
minutes often I arrive at its doors
through the pain of humiliation.
My self righteous anger brought me
to this moment of the beauty of humility
as I cradle my bruised hand after punching a wall.
I am a human being that makes mistakes,
and the beauty of a spiritual life happens
through progress not perfection.
I am growing little by little,
and slowly breaking the cycle of violence
passed from my father, passed to him by his father...
I cannot spiritually grow alone and without help.
The beauty of humility is that I am not alone, and
I am neither the worst or the best. I am human.
May 19, 2014
May 19, 2014 at 9:41 PM UTC