#ow
Grabbed my hand and lured me to her rose bed
Marks on my neck and my hip
I laid my head on her thigh
As she put her hand in my hair
I felt like I was going to die
My cross necklace weighed heavy on my neck
But I knew something then
I will never find it in me to submit to a man
I will never be his wife
Sharp teeth curly hair
Hips swayed and stomach rose
Smoke swirled around her hips
And I knew then I was born not of Adam
But of Eve
And Lilith had claimed me
Feb 9
Feb 9, 2026 at 10:29 PM UTC
Scorched earth dripping from my fingers (you know how sometimes the smell of smoke can save lives?
and how sometimes I'd prefer I slept in)
glistening a while as the pieces crumble into invisibility.
I'm ever waiting
To become what I make, and
I don't mind if you let me think I'm winning the race until I've lost you
completely
If I don't speak please don't take it to heart, my best years are gone but you can have my ghost
If you wish to. I'll be here. Ever writhing, tied to my promise: no longer screaming. My silence
Is the best gift you could ever wish from me, if you knew me well-enough you'd know that to be true.
I've took on so many names and faces and manipulation tactics, at this point I'm a one-man-cult
Victimising shadows,
I'm kind to myself now but I still feel nothing mostly, but that doesn't have to be your problem
Any longer
Than you make it, I've grown up some with little option otherwise. I'm yours I'm yours I'm yours, for as long as I'm willing to be dragged around.
Fallen weak,
Ever-bleeding as long I can breathe without thinking.
Some memories are better left untouched and some regrets taken to the grave and some people left to crumble themselves to nothing again and again, undisturbed for as long as can be expected.
Don't wait up for me, you'll end up as good as a prayer for the dead to return.
Apr 2, 2024
Apr 2, 2024 at 10:36 PM UTC
i thought we'd ******
in shared breath, hot and sweet
peach lips parted
not in passing one another
silent
avoiding eye contact
Oct 8, 2021
Oct 8, 2021 at 11:44 AM UTC
No it doesn’t
belong to know
the first fellow
on my pillow
in meadow how
he anyhow,
showed good flow
of shadow on my
window that
overshadowed
rainbow to outflow
reflow, to reglow and reshow
my endow
of WoW!
Jun 17, 2020
Jun 17, 2020 at 4:08 AM UTC
Ache in my chest
A shake in my hands
Zoned out gaze
I saw this coming
I like to ignore
The red flags
Nov 24, 2019
Nov 24, 2019 at 7:55 PM UTC
"It's the only color I call home, because where the flora is green, life will always be seen." By K.A.S.
The storm ebbs,
Always at the very edge,
Teetering off the very ledge.
The storm flows,
But it just never moves,
It just never goes.
I remember when your words dressed me so proudly.
I remember when your eyes said love so loudly.
But I guess I was right,
Because every sunshine day ends in a cold dead night.
You never knew what I meant
When I swore every breath of yours was heaven sent.
But I guess I was always wrong,
Because we just sat in silence,
Forgetting all our words,
And forgetting all our songs.
But I still love you from the highest sight,
I still love you to the dimmest light.
I still love you every day,
I still love you every night.
But if a time should come
Where our future is unclear,
Know that I love you always,
I'll always be waiting right here.
I think
You might think
That maybe I didn't feel when our ship began to sink.
I think you didn't notice
The break in my heart,
And in all my other parts.
Because you turned away
When I started to decay.
I don't know if you'll ever tell me
Where we were led astray,
But I know, now,
Nothing green can stay.
Yeah. Nothing green can stay.
Jun 22, 2019
Jun 22, 2019 at 10:35 PM UTC
You were falling
So I stretched out my porcelain hand
But you were scared
And you gripped it too hard
Now it’s broken
And so are you
Jan 4, 2019
Jan 4, 2019 at 12:37 PM UTC
Oof
Ow
You got me.
What now
Tss
Ah
What a
crushing
blow.
Mm
Yah
You showed me
Aug 20, 2018
Aug 20, 2018 at 11:06 AM UTC
Wiggly fuzzy sweetie pies
canoodling along my toesie-woesies.
Meowing purraciously as they
noodley-poodley awound the really biggy cat chair.
I'm waying on the couchie- ouchie!
Their sharpy nail digs into my fleshy-weshy by accident
but that's okay!
I lovie-dovie-wuvie-very-muchie
my darling widdle biddy kiddy cats!~
Nov 15, 2017
Nov 15, 2017 at 1:24 PM UTC
I feel like you think of me
As a child.
Pat my head,
Kiss my cheek,
I'm cute sometimes
I'm funny sometimes
But I won't get what you think
I won't get what you feel.
You're proud of me occasionally,
But you won't ever lean on me,
Or let me help you.
I'm too broken myself
To help any part of you.
And I'd like to say,
That after each wall I break through
There's another and then another,
But there's only one or two I've gotten through.
Maybe I am just a little girl,
A child who's been too used
And too injured
To really get it,
But that doesn't mean I can't get it.
Though I understand the fear
Of opening up to anyone.
There was a lot of fear
When I opened up to you.
I just kind of thought,
At first,
"What do I have to lose?"
Apparently a lot.
I have a lot to lose.
Nov 22, 2016
Nov 22, 2016 at 11:11 AM UTC
I can't really put together my inhabitable thoughts anymore. Everything about you is still left wide open just like the door you tore apart.
I look for you now in everyone I meet.
Searching for a small sign that you are still in my everyday life. That your smile isn't wiped off the face of the earth and you coffee eyes were still within someone else who shared the same taste of music as you. Your hands reminded me of maps which lead me to where I wanted to stay for the rest of my life. Every exhale that came out of you guided me like a lost sail boat and hushed me up to shore. I loved listening to the sound of your voice telling me to sleep, yet reminding me that our time was limited and that I didn't have all the time I needed to have with you.
Absolutely no one can compare to how your coffee stains left on old written notes were like my gold stars. I felt at home in your arms and you were at peace in my head. I want that back. I want you back.
Nov 17, 2015
Nov 17, 2015 at 12:31 AM UTC
My back hurts so bad,
But nobody will help,
Please let me die now.
Sep 17, 2015
Sep 17, 2015 at 12:03 PM UTC
The light dapples in
Throwing odd shadows
On the plastic surrounding me.
Like a strange sunset put there
To taunt my eyes
Each droplet of water
Is another arrow
Shooting new spikes of pain
Through my body
Hundreds
Thousands
Millions of drops
Per second
Splash onto my skin.
1,000
2,000
I could have avoided the pain
I could have stopped this
Not going to the beach
Not going on that walk
But oh, I would not take it back.
Not one second.
Every
Happy
Minute was another
Happy
Memory
To add to my collection
And even
As I lay here
Rivulets of water
Washing down my red skin
I am making another.
You tease me
Like some cruel trickster
Happiness
Dripping down my back
Turned to cruel
Twisted
Pain
Running up my spine like a knife.
Oh, blissful pain
Would that I could feel
You to your full relevance
Instead, you trip over me
Leaving pain in your wake.
Like a torture machine.
This feels so bad
But so good.
Once the water is freed
From the contraption shooting it
Like a pistol in my heart
Onto my skin
It rebels against its maker
And trickles delightfully across me, sending delightful shivers
Into me
Only to betray me again.
Oh, sweet treasure
Would that your painful side were invisible
So
I
Could sleep
Once
Again.
Jun 23, 2015
Jun 23, 2015 at 11:19 PM UTC
The first time I spent the night in his room, I did not sleep.
He laughed when he came back from the bathroom to see that I had folded his shirt while he was gone, asked me why, and I did not answer him.
At four o'clock in the morning I slithered away from his bed, wearing his sweatpants.
I folded them neatly in my closet.
When you grow up with a single mom, you learn quickly that there are times when you will have to be alone.
You learn to do your own dishes and check your own homework and wash your own laundry.
You learn to fold things neatly and put them away.
There was never anything neat about you.
No matter how many times I folded that shirt, my feelings for you were always messy and they were everywhere.
It reminded me of laundry day,
Clothes scattered around my room, listening to upbeat pop songs as I gathered them to be washed.
Some things were muddy from a rainy October recess, there were white pants stained red from a ****** knee, a green sweater splattered with grape juice because I just couldn't keep my glass full.
Some things almost looked clean, but I knew better.
My days with you were full of almost clean.
Evenings of red wine and laughing and card games that became nights of drunken giggling and pulling off my white tee shirt, stained with grown up grape juice.
And my mom isn't here to help me get the stain out.
In the morning, you made me tea and sang me Bob Dylan songs and I almost felt clean until I remembered your hands clasped at the curve of my waist the night before.
But I am well versed in cleaning up my own messes.
I lathered your sweat off my body with too-hot water and vanilla body wash, but your finger prints stayed under my skin and I couldn't remember the recipe for homemade stain remover and besides, it kind of looked like a pattern.
I should know by now that wine is not going to make the messes any tidier, but it's nice to forget how bleach smells sometimes.
You didn't notice how nicely my shirt was pressed when you were talking to her, and I guess that's when I realized that you didn't really mind the stain on her collar or the wrinkles
And I realized how harsh I looked next to the dirt on your canvas shoes and the rip in your jeans.
I guess I thought that if I folded my feelings for you neatly enough, you'd think it looked pretty,
But I never imagined that you wanted me messy, you said you like sleeping outside and you wish you could see the stars in the city,
I thought,
I wish you looked at me the way you look at the galaxy.
When you brought my sweater back to me, you told me you tried to fold it like I would, but I thought it looked better crumpled up and half-folded.
As I took in your disheveled hair and wrinkled tee shirt, I said goodbye.
I never really took my body out from under your fingers, and maybe that's why my chest bruised when you left,
And all I could do was fold my sweater.
Jan 29, 2015
Jan 29, 2015 at 5:59 PM UTC
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Jan 7, 2015
Jan 7, 2015 at 2:48 PM UTC
Its funny how your words hurt more when your not speaking them.
Its funny how you blame me for the action when you continued it.
Its funny how you leave, then get mad at me for being distant.
Its funny how much you hurt me.
Its funny how much I take.
Its funny how much I blame on myself
Ita funny how i still love you
Its funny how neither one of us can tell who's worse
This acctualy is not funny at all
Because I just lost my best friend.
Amd im never getting her back.
And she will never
Accept my apology
But i am sorry.
All i ever wanted to do,
was help,
I promise,
Im so sorry
So leave me Alone
And let me cry.
Jan 7, 2015
Jan 7, 2015 at 1:04 AM UTC
It would be funny if there was a guy who yelled Ow! and felt like he'd been slapped every time someone broke a law, no matter how minor.
Jan 5, 2015
Jan 5, 2015 at 11:47 AM UTC
like a walk of shame
except i'm beautiful and proud
and the fall weather got here last night
unpacked it's bags but forgot to paint the leaves
and i'm walking and there's nothing shameful about anything i did
and alleyways look beautiful too
in their own way
and i'll skip breakfast because i'm still drunk
and i'm still in love
and my shadow looks a bit taller than i do
i left my underwear behind
lace crumbled in the floor
REMEMBER ME
i stole somebody's mcdonald's
and ate it in the street corner
did i leave my cardigan at yours?
see you tomorrow
making latte art hungover in some beautiful knock off paris store
and i asked you, politely, to leave the mess outside
and you never saw that butterfly temporary tattoo on my chest
everything is temporary
because you didn't even bother to get me undressed
but you left your mark on my neck
thanks for that
just know you're not the only one who i made eyes with last night
i kissed a few on the lips
you aren't the only boy who fancied in my *** perfume
at least you walked me home
it was five am but at least you walked me home
and your dorm room wasn't big enough for how wide my legs were but this dress was tight and you bruised my thigh
or that might've been the other boy who threw me into the dark corner and i fell to the floor as he fell into me
but my hair is long enough to cover this hickey
and i'll take a sip of your coke and whiskey
i listen to that boys song and laugh on my way to work
and the shins are playing in starbucks
and i wouldn't mind if just for a second
i could pretend to die
Oct 5, 2014
Oct 5, 2014 at 4:08 PM UTC
Shin splints are painful
And they also feel heavy
Don't ask how I know.
Jul 1, 2014
Jul 1, 2014 at 10:15 PM UTC
I feel like ramming my crowded thoughts
Into a red brick wall
But somehow I feel that would only cause more pain
And wouldn't help at all.
Apr 30, 2014
Apr 30, 2014 at 12:17 AM UTC
This song is so stuck
In my head, that it hurts.
You ever felt that?
Apr 26, 2014
Apr 26, 2014 at 1:17 AM UTC
I am too tired
To say something worthwhile
So let me not speak.
Apr 17, 2014
Apr 17, 2014 at 3:58 PM UTC