#osdd
When i'm in your head
i'm in my head
And when I hold your hand
i've got my hand
And when I say i'm sorry
youre the only one
who understands
When i'm you
it's the only time
i'm who I am
Apr 27
Apr 27, 2026 at 10:16 PM UTC
I, sunny semloh, am not a real person.
i am a figment, a fragment, a pigment, an attachment.
i am not a functioning body, i am a peace of a mind
i am not a full brain, i am whats behind.
i am not a full human, but a simple thought
a piece of someone, that others forgot.
i am not a real person, i am simply not
i cannot be perfect, i am filled with rot
Aug 14, 2025
Aug 14, 2025 at 4:09 PM UTC
I think it was always going to be sunny
I think we knew it from the start
One of the first
A character
Created to take care
To make sure
And it started
With a song.
"You are my Sunshine"
She would sing
From the very beginning
Before the accident
Before the hurt
Before Him.
"My only Sunshine"
She rubs our back
Lulling me to sleep on that old old leather couch.
The quilt and lace blanket covering my tiny body.
"You make me happy"
I loved her, I thought
I had no clue what love was
Love was required she taught me
I loved everyone then
There was no bad in my life.
"When skies are grey"
The wind howled outside her old house, the windows creaking
I was with Nana
I didn't care.
"You'll never know dear, how much I love you"
There it is again, love
So why didn't I feel it?
"Please don't take my sunshine away."
I think that was how sunshine was created
Made
Came into existence
She was made after Nana
Made into a caretaker
Thank you sunny
Jun 7, 2025
Jun 7, 2025 at 7:57 PM UTC
Listen... I know you're upset-
Upset? Darling I'm far more than "Upset" with you.
If you would just listen-
What reason does she have to lemon? You've started blocking them all again. We can't go back to what we were.
Alex I'm trying to get better.
Getting better means getting rid of us then?
That's not what I said.
Liam, you do realize over half the system is gone? Merged, dormant, fading away. We can barely keep up now.
I've tried to take on responsibilities. As has Sunny and Eclipse. But we can't keep doing this. We still need help. YOU need help.
I'm sorry.
Your apologies are worthless.
Nicole, don't send him spiraling again. Ares just got us let out.
Hey, you wanted help.
Look, I have to watch littles now, Liam just... Stay close to front.
I'll have willow watch you.
...
Jun 5, 2025
Jun 5, 2025 at 5:28 PM UTC
turn back the clocks, rewind it
there's something else behind this
not that hard to find it
but hard enough to fight it
Jun 4, 2025
Jun 4, 2025 at 3:41 PM UTC
i am the strength, the saftey, the fear.
i stay close, always near.
the one they call when things go wrong
the silence hurts, their screams a song.
the body aches, battered bruised
couldve been simple, had he refused
you
all those nights ago.
but he didnt know.
i keep them alive.
let the body thrive.
Apr 13, 2025
Apr 13, 2025 at 10:43 PM UTC
wasnt any reason for me to lie.
the scars and bruises where they lie
why on earth do you doubt
why do you push and shove and shout
selfishly sick is what i be
the trauma fake? oh honestly!
i let it happen
i hurt myself
i do it all
and don't ask for help
i am failing critically
i am sick, selfishly.
i let you laugh
i let you lie
i kiss my "normal" life goodbye.
i let my thoughts
dissipate
let the next person take my place
if i lied for over a year
wouldnt that make the truth everclear?
foggy memories swirling endlessly
we are sick, selfishly
-yjp
Feb 27, 2025
Feb 27, 2025 at 9:01 PM UTC
it neither killed me,
nor made me stronger,
it did a third thing
~
got angels and devils sitting on my shoulders, in my ears
these different parts of me— you’ve seen them through the years
i live in fragments
i'm never whole
it's not the life i thought i'd lead
at least it's never ******* dull
i lost my head
found these instead
and never felt quite like 'me' again
even when i’m alone
i’m never lonely
~
i hear the voices
from the inside out
oh stop; i recognize that look you're giving me:
"why keep it hidden from us until now?"
i don't recall much from after ten years old
let’s call that 'brain rot'
lost memories of repeat awful happenings
that i still don't know if i deserved or not (you didn’t)(x2)
the only one who ever truly knows what's going on is you
Jan 13, 2025
Jan 13, 2025 at 7:33 PM UTC
there’s somethin funny going on up in this house
check the front, now the windows, see? the lights are out
no one’s home, just us voices, extra extroverted noises
just the other people in your head making you regret your choices
it’s just us bonus mouths to feed and sometimes hands to hold
we hope you hear us when we say this covert thing is getting kinda old
Dec 23, 2022
Dec 23, 2022 at 1:08 PM UTC
I'm a stranger in my own head,
A sojourner embodied.
As I lie here on my old bed,
Impressions flashing oddly.
I'm a stranger to my own needs,
my old provisions moldy.
I'm lost, can hardly proceed,
But must continue boldly.
Jan 6, 2025
Jan 6, 2025 at 7:54 AM UTC
i’ve gotta rewire some things inside me
not in the right headspace to take life on right now
without a little extra help from those around and before and inside me
i’ve gotta release some demons, exorcise me
keeping them bottled up for so long, they’ve
got other people’s hands all over me, shaking things up
a prisoner to my own hidden feelings , i’m ready to burst
want to get it out, once and for all
not be trapped inside any longer
a bunch of secrets bouncing around my bones
like stubborn trespasser(s)
i
mold
meld
melt
molt
i find myself lost in us again
wrapping your& words around me like a hug
falling in love with this cosmic entanglement
watched us bloom in times of turmoil
and
i'm just so happy to be home, finally
May 13, 2022
May 13, 2022 at 12:26 PM UTC
head filled with thoughts of knives and blood and tears and the finality of the silence that comes After.
short car rides feel that much longer one-handed and with your mind taking detours.
an empty passenger's seat, save for the bag of fresh pharmacy goods; bandages and pills and the sting of the chill winter air.
the suffocating feeling of being stuck inside all day, except this home is a body and relief is only found in quick, deep successions.
basement flooding with memories of Then and When and Red and we find ourselves to be lost in it all. drowning even.
wade through the murk and discover us in the darkest alcoves of yourself. we hide in the shadows where it's safest, drenched.
it's hard to stay present around these parts for very long without something (or someone) stirring inside begging us to forget the rest.
Sep 17, 2021
Sep 17, 2021 at 12:01 AM UTC
i
discovered
im not the only one
here.
there are
a few of us.
all
different ages.
that would
explain the memory gaps
Jul 18, 2021
Jul 18, 2021 at 1:32 PM UTC
never quite sure of who or where i am
this head's all over the place
wishing it all could be so easy
to look back at this face
see the real me through these eyes
not be fooled by this flesh disguise
there's a familiarity to the confusion
voices echoing inside me
they want to share time
invited them in, it’s a party
can't distance ourselves in the same body
Apr 7, 2021
Apr 7, 2021 at 10:04 PM UTC
people ask me how i’m doing and i say ‘okay’
nobody questions it; cuz that’s what they all say
only time my words are questioned is when i speak my mind
don’t wanna hear reality, so put me back in line
i wish the whole wide world could know just how i feel
this life of fear and lies simply has no appeal
the voices in my head speak more truth than you
i’m getting tired of always confusing the two
my mind is a haunted house; there’s more to me than meets the eye
body full of so many secrets despite my size
if given the choice, maybe i wouldn’t choose this one to possess
occupying a vessel this anxious just leads to more stress
‘friend in high places’ but the place is your head [in the clouds]
smoking and drinking to quiet us; but trust me you can’t drown us out
there’s more work to be done and words to be said
most talk internally but that don’t mean we’re not friends
something to be said about an openminded guy
with so much personality they started to compile
a collective consciousness sprouting within
took years too long to finally let us in
but here we are, now you know and you listen
at names mentioned, your heart now quickens
beats as one, as we are together
a single unit of several, here for each other
confusing to all but one another
you find yourselves in us
Mar 9, 2021
Mar 9, 2021 at 4:18 PM UTC
there's a ghost in the basement
who comes out when it's raining
i don’t know what he wants
but i don’t want him to go
i find comfort in the hauntings
and i hate to admit this
but i think i’m more afraid
of being alone
Dec 14, 2020
Dec 14, 2020 at 5:14 PM UTC
got all these voices in my head
and monsters in my bed
and memories of words and things
i can't recall i said
Dec 9, 2020
Dec 9, 2020 at 11:46 PM UTC
Come and breathe with me.
Close your eyes and feel what I feel.
You cant can you? You cant close them, because we are standing on the edge of a cliff. Your closed eyes would only make you sway. Gravity will call your name and your feet will betray you.
Breathe in the air of disaster. Do you smell its smoke? Its sweet is it not? Its enticing and dangerous and you want to breathe deeper. Your nose is a ****** for the scent.
Feel this wind that sweeps around our barely lifeless bodies. Like mannequins we stand here quietly. Almost like we are invisible. That is how the world feels. People rushing by and around me like the breeze. I watch silently from within my own body unable to control anything on the outside.
I watch others control my own actions. They put me in danger and I let them. Why do I let them? Answer me why do I let them?
Breathe in this truth with me. The truth that we are never controlled by our own will but by the fear from within us. The things we have gone through in the past. The unknown. It takes us by the hand and leads the way. We call out and ask where it is taking us but does it answer? Why would it? I already know.
It takes us to the end.
So breathe with me and we will wait on this cliff edge a little longer for the void to call our names.
Sep 8, 2020
Sep 8, 2020 at 9:38 PM UTC
So many colors make up our bright mind
Only few can be seen by those outside
Our colors are wonderful, sweet and kind
Others of them are bitter, dark and hide
Each is a person hidden within us
Who want to be seen as real as we are
Sometimes they cry out they scream and they cuss
But they are nothing to fear, not by far
They are heroes who saved us from our death
Came forth from the back to stop the attack
They don’t want to wait until our last breath
Sure they have problems, but cut them some slack
Jan 9, 2019
Jan 9, 2019 at 6:56 PM UTC
It was faint before but I can hear them now
They’re yelling and fighting to vow
They had no choice originally in the matter
But they’ve taken up their part and chatter
They try to work in any way they can
They take control and begin to plan
Helping us all through methods of coping
They give us a reason to continue hoping
They know the dangers of the world first-hand
Take up their place and together they stand
They save us from continued grief
They hide the pain and emerge brief
No one will mess with us again
Jan 9, 2019
Jan 9, 2019 at 3:13 PM UTC
Three in the afternoon and everything is fuzzy
You feel the familiar prickling under your skin and welcome it with open arms
But you can’t feel your arms
This vessel isn’t your body
But at the same time it is
You’re watching yourself lay there hopelessly while you pray and scream And cry
Oh, God, please don’t let me die.
But you aren’t dead
But are you even alive?
A bittersweet medium where nothing is real and your chest is on fire
You live in the flames, you feel yourself escape the trap of gravity
And you are floating
The bed you lay on is no longer touching you
You are in the air, weightless, but only for a few moments before
You crash down to earth and farther
And farther down more
Falling into endless
Painless
Void.
Am I alone?
Am I real?
Words ramble off the tongues of a homely face
But the words got mixed up in Google translate
Foreign words ringing in your ears and you can’t tell if
If you are really experiencing everything you are
Or if you’re just playing make believe with yourself.
Back to nothing.
Always everything but.
Mar 24, 2017
Mar 24, 2017 at 3:49 PM UTC