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#opioid
The first settlers to the area called the Lumber River Drowning Creek. The river got its name for its dark, swift-moving waters. In 1809, the North Carolina state legislature changed the name of Drowning Creek to the Lumber River. The headwaters are still referred to as Drowning Creek. Three p.m. on a Sunday. Anxiously hungry, I stay dry, out of the pool’s cold water, taking the light, dripping into my pages. A city with a white face blank as a bust peers over my shoulder. Wildflowers on the roads. Planes circle from west, come down steeply and out of sight. A pinkness rises in my breast and arms: wet as the drowned, my eyes sting with sweat. Over the useless chimneys a bank of cloud piles up. There is something terrible in the sky, but it keeps breaking. Another is dead. Fentanyl. Sister of a friend, rarely seen. A hand reaches everywhere to pass over eyes and mouths. A glowing wound opens in heaven. A mirror out of doors draws a gyre of oak seeds no one watches, in the clear pool now sunless and black. Bitter water freezes the muscles and I am far from shore. I paddle in the shallows, near the wooden jail. The water reflects a taut rope, feet hanging in the breeze singing mercy at the site of the last public hanging in the state. A part-white fugitive with an extorted confession, loved by the poor, dumb enough to get himself captured, lonely on this side of authority: a world he has never lived in foisting itself on the world he has - only now, to steal his drunken life, then gone again. 1871 - Henderson Oxendine, one of the notorious gang of outlaws who for some time have infested Robeson County, N. C., committing ****** and robbery, and otherwise setting defiance to the laws, was hung at Lumberton, on Friday last in the presence of a large assemblage. His execution took place a very few days after his conviction, and his death occurred almost without a struggle. Today, the town square collapses as if scorched by the whiskey he drank that morning to still himself, folds itself up like Amazing Grace is finished. A plinth is laid in the shadow of his feet, sticky with pine, here where the water sickens with roots. Where the canoe overturned. Where the broken oar floated and fell. Where the snake lives, and teethes on bark, waiting for another uncle. Where the tobacco waves near drying barns rusted like horseshoes and cotton studs the ground like the cropped hair of the buried. Where schoolchildren take the afternoon to trim the kudzu growing between the bodies of slaves. Where appetite is met with flood and fat and a clinic for the heart. Where barges took chips of tar to port, for money that no one ever saw. Tar sticks the heel but isn’t courage. Tar seals the hulls - binds the planks - builds the road. Tar, fiery on the tongue, heavy as bad blood in the family - dead to glue the dead together to secure the living. Tar on the roofs, pouring heat. Tar is a dark brown or black viscous liquid of hydrocarbons and free carbon, obtained from a wide variety of organic materials through destructive distillation. Tar in the lungs will one day go as hard as a five-cent candy. Liberty Food Mart Cheapest Prices on Cigarettes Parliament $22.50/carton Marlboro $27.50/carton The white-bibbed slaughterhouse Hmong hunch down the steps of an old school bus with no air conditioner, rush into the cool of the supermarket. They pick clean the vegetables, flee with woven bags bulging. What were they promised? Air conditioning. And what did they receive? Chickenshit on the wind; a dead river they can't understand with a name it gained from killing. Truth: A man was flung onto a fencepost and died in a front yard down the street. A girl with a grudge in her eyes slipped a razorblade from her teeth and ended recess. I once saw an Indian murdered for stealing a twelve-foot ladder. The red line indicating heart disease grows higher and higher. The red line indicating cardiovascular mortality grows higher and higher. The red line indicating motor vehicle deaths grows higher and higher. I burn with the desire to leave. The stories make us full baskets of dark. No death troubles me. Not the girl's blood, inert, tickled by opiates, not the masked arson of the law; not the smell of drywall as it rots, or the door of the safe falling from its hinges, or the chassis of cars, airborne over the rise by the planetarium, three classmates plunging wide-eyed in the river’s icy arc – absent from prom, still struggling to free themselves from their seatbelts - the gunsmoke at the home invasion, the tenement bisected by flood, the cattle lowing, gelded by agriculture students on a field trip. The air contains skin and mud. The galvanized barns, long empty, cough up their dust of rotten feed, dry tobacco. Men kneel in the tilled rows, to pick up nails off the ground still splashed with the blood of their makers. You Never Sausage a Place (You’re Always a ****** at Pedro’s!) South of the Border – Fireworks, Motel & Rides Exit 9: 10mi. Drunkards in Dickies will tell you the roads are straight enough that the drive home will not bend away from them. Look in the woods to see by lamplight two girls filling each other's mouths with smoke. Hear a friendly command: boys loosening a tire, stuck in the gut of a dog. Turn on the radio between towns of two thousand and hear the tiny voice of an AM preacher, sharing the airwaves of country dark with some chords plucked from a guitar. Taste this water thick with tannin and tell me that trees do not feel pain. I would be a mausoleum for these thousands if I only had the room. I sealed myself against the flood. Bodies knock against my eaves: a clutch of cats drowned in a crawlspace, an old woman bereft with a vase of pennies, her dead son in her living room costumed as the black Jesus, the ***** oil of a Chinese restaurant dancing on top of black water. A flow gauge spins its tin wheel endlessly above the bloated dead, and I will pretend not to be sick at dinner. Misery now, a struggle ahead for Robeson County after flooding from Hurricane Matthew LUMBERTON After years of things leaving Robeson County – manufacturing plants, jobs, payrolls, people – something finally came in, and what was it but more misery? I said a prayer to the city: make me a figure in a figure, solvent, owed and owing. Take my jute sacks of wristbones, my sheaves and sheaves of fealty, the smell of the forest from my feet. Weigh me only by my purse. A slim woman with a college degree, a rented room without the black wings of palmetto roaches fleeing the damp: I saw the calm white towers and subscribed. No ingrate, I saved a space for the lost. They filled it once, twice, and kept on, eating greasy flesh straight from the bone, craning their heads to ask a prayer for them instead. Downtown later in the easy dark, three college boys in foam cowboy hats shout in poor Spanish. They press into the night and the night presses into them. They will go home when they have to. Under the bridge lit in violet, a folding chair is draped in a ***** blanket. A grubby pair of tennis shoes lay beneath, no feet inside. Iced tea seeps from a chewed cup. I pass a bar lit like Christmas. A mute and pretty face full of indoor light makes a promise I see through a window. I pay obscene rents to find out if it is true, in this nation tied together with gallows-rope, thumbing its codex of virtues.
0
Sep 17, 2018
Sep 17, 2018 at 12:47 PM UTC
I-95, Exit 22: Open, My Country
The first settlers to the area called the Lumber River Drowning Creek. The river got its name for its dark, swift-moving waters. In 1809, the North Carolina state legislature changed the name of Drowning Creek to the Lumber River. The headwaters are still referred to as Drowning Creek. Three p.m. on a Sunday. Anxiously hungry, I stay dry, out of the pool’s cold water, taking the light, dripping into my pages. A city with a white face blank as a bust peers over my shoulder. Wildflowers on the roads. Planes circle from west, come down steeply and out of sight. A pinkness rises in my breast and arms: wet as the drowned, my eyes sting with sweat. Over the useless chimneys a bank of cloud piles up. There is something terrible in the sky, but it keeps breaking. Another is dead. Fentanyl. Sister of a friend, rarely seen. A hand reaches everywhere to pass over eyes and mouths. A glowing wound opens in heaven. A mirror out of doors draws a gyre of oak seeds no one watches, in the clear pool now sunless and black. Bitter water freezes the muscles and I am far from shore. I paddle in the shallows, near the wooden jail. The water reflects a taut rope, feet hanging in the breeze singing mercy at the site of the last public hanging in the state. A part-white fugitive with an extorted confession, loved by the poor, dumb enough to get himself captured, lonely on this side of authority: a world he has never lived in foisting itself on the world he has - only now, to steal his drunken life, then gone again. 1871 - Henderson Oxendine, one of the notorious gang of outlaws who for some time have infested Robeson County, N. C., committing ****** and robbery, and otherwise setting defiance to the laws, was hung at Lumberton, on Friday last in the presence of a large assemblage. His execution took place a very few days after his conviction, and his death occurred almost without a struggle. Today, the town square collapses as if scorched by the whiskey he drank that morning to still himself, folds itself up like Amazing Grace is finished. A plinth is laid in the shadow of his feet, sticky with pine, here where the water sickens with roots. Where the canoe overturned. Where the broken oar floated and fell. Where the snake lives, and teethes on bark, waiting for another uncle. Where the tobacco waves near drying barns rusted like horseshoes and cotton studs the ground like the cropped hair of the buried. Where schoolchildren take the afternoon to trim the kudzu growing between the bodies of slaves. Where appetite is met with flood and fat and a clinic for the heart. Where barges took chips of tar to port, for money that no one ever saw. Tar sticks the heel but isn’t courage. Tar seals the hulls - binds the planks - builds the road. Tar, fiery on the tongue, heavy as bad blood in the family - dead to glue the dead together to secure the living. Tar on the roofs, pouring heat. Tar is a dark brown or black viscous liquid of hydrocarbons and free carbon, obtained from a wide variety of organic materials through destructive distillation. Tar in the lungs will one day go as hard as a five-cent candy. Liberty Food Mart Cheapest Prices on Cigarettes Parliament $22.50/carton Marlboro $27.50/carton The white-bibbed slaughterhouse Hmong hunch down the steps of an old school bus with no air conditioner, rush into the cool of the supermarket. They pick clean the vegetables, flee with woven bags bulging. What were they promised? Air conditioning. And what did they receive? Chickenshit on the wind; a dead river they can't understand with a name it gained from killing. Truth: A man was flung onto a fencepost and died in a front yard down the street. A girl with a grudge in her eyes slipped a razorblade from her teeth and ended recess. I once saw an Indian murdered for stealing a twelve-foot ladder. The red line indicating heart disease grows higher and higher. The red line indicating cardiovascular mortality grows higher and higher. The red line indicating motor vehicle deaths grows higher and higher. I burn with the desire to leave. The stories make us full baskets of dark. No death troubles me. Not the girl's blood, inert, tickled by opiates, not the masked arson of the law; not the smell of drywall as it rots, or the door of the safe falling from its hinges, or the chassis of cars, airborne over the rise by the planetarium, three classmates plunging wide-eyed in the river’s icy arc – absent from prom, still struggling to free themselves from their seatbelts - the gunsmoke at the home invasion, the tenement bisected by flood, the cattle lowing, gelded by agriculture students on a field trip. The air contains skin and mud. The galvanized barns, long empty, cough up their dust of rotten feed, dry tobacco. Men kneel in the tilled rows, to pick up nails off the ground still splashed with the blood of their makers. You Never Sausage a Place (You’re Always a ****** at Pedro’s!) South of the Border – Fireworks, Motel & Rides Exit 9: 10mi. Drunkards in Dickies will tell you the roads are straight enough that the drive home will not bend away from them. Look in the woods to see by lamplight two girls filling each other's mouths with smoke. Hear a friendly command: boys loosening a tire, stuck in the gut of a dog. Turn on the radio between towns of two thousand and hear the tiny voice of an AM preacher, sharing the airwaves of country dark with some chords plucked from a guitar. Taste this water thick with tannin and tell me that trees do not feel pain. I would be a mausoleum for these thousands if I only had the room. I sealed myself against the flood. Bodies knock against my eaves: a clutch of cats drowned in a crawlspace, an old woman bereft with a vase of pennies, her dead son in her living room costumed as the black Jesus, the ***** oil of a Chinese restaurant dancing on top of black water. A flow gauge spins its tin wheel endlessly above the bloated dead, and I will pretend not to be sick at dinner. Misery now, a struggle ahead for Robeson County after flooding from Hurricane Matthew LUMBERTON After years of things leaving Robeson County – manufacturing plants, jobs, payrolls, people – something finally came in, and what was it but more misery? I said a prayer to the city: make me a figure in a figure, solvent, owed and owing. Take my jute sacks of wristbones, my sheaves and sheaves of fealty, the smell of the forest from my feet. Weigh me only by my purse. A slim woman with a college degree, a rented room without the black wings of palmetto roaches fleeing the damp: I saw the calm white towers and subscribed. No ingrate, I saved a space for the lost. They filled it once, twice, and kept on, eating greasy flesh straight from the bone, craning their heads to ask a prayer for them instead. Downtown later in the easy dark, three college boys in foam cowboy hats shout in poor Spanish. They press into the night and the night presses into them. They will go home when they have to. Under the bridge lit in violet, a folding chair is draped in a ***** blanket. A grubby pair of tennis shoes lay beneath, no feet inside. Iced tea seeps from a chewed cup. I pass a bar lit like Christmas. A mute and pretty face full of indoor light makes a promise I see through a window. I pay obscene rents to find out if it is true, in this nation tied together with gallows-rope, thumbing its codex of virtues.
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155
Licking the ***** off the small peaks, Each dilated eye in ecstasy truly speaks. The peaks are so natural button-like soft, Conveying sans the speech the desire oft. Whenever stiff & excited about to burst, Titillating the sensuality be with trust.
0
Jan 16, 2016
Jan 16, 2016 at 11:00 PM UTC
Ovoid Opioid ******
Here I lye with you- you don't listen, so my words write reversed haikus I don’t need your drugs, but I do need you to know no one deserves this. I choose to let you treat me like I’m blindfolded; Still, I gift to you- Graphite and color a blank sketchbook (with this piece) Inscribed in the front. Art is all I know so this opportunity. to express it all- Has such strong power, you might never truly know… Still- I hope you do.
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Oct 24, 2022
Oct 24, 2022 at 11:39 PM UTC
Dear Liam (The Gift You Never Got)
Justin I forgive you, won’t you call me, your birthday must be coming soon we haven’t spoken since we moved our family into the desert. I just pray you’re not seeking cotton fever yet again, chasing the dragon, or at the very least eating school buses while falling into ‘H’ before you find yourself in bed drunk again, and on Ambien too. Dead too soon. You’ve always wondered why I didn’t introduce you to Ryan, my other incredibly dear and brotherly friend. Well wonder none more, he’s in a padded room at Mt. Sinai in Lakeview or perhaps Northwestern’s adult care unit, there was talk or at least I imagined he could make it to Lakeside Manor right there East of Foster. So it’s clemency, peace of mind, and something to loosen the edge off your back, something to let you fall, something to set your pain at weightless your mind at I-Don’t-Have-To-Give-A-Fuck-Anymore, my friend where have you been? Where have you taken yourself? Please drag yourself back at least a half-step, reverse your position and engineer an out please. I can’t begin to accept losing both of my brothers to two versions of the same disease.
0
Oct 20, 2019
Oct 20, 2019 at 1:10 AM UTC
You Might Be Snorting Dope & Eating Bars, He’s Blacking Out & Having Seizures
surrender and defeat, my fated causality, by mine own hand done in, 'twas the death I ordained, when to the addiction of ego, I did, did I, concede and become another casualty by mine own mind
0
Aug 19, 2018
Aug 19, 2018 at 5:41 PM UTC
the ego addiction - the organic opioid
A pain killer, Not a killer of pain.
0
Aug 5, 2020
Aug 5, 2020 at 1:52 AM UTC
Opioid