#oldwritings
You took me today, to the place where you broke your arm. You told me how you were young, your parents on the other side of the park, and how much pain you were in. And you told me you didn't cry. And I wanted to kiss you. I wanted to kiss you and tell you that I know you've endured pain, much beyond a broken bone, but refused to let yourself show how much it hurt you. I wanted to kiss you and tell you that I know how strong you are, even when it's all broken. I wanted to kiss you, I wanted you to be mine, so that you never had to spare tears over broken bones or broken hearts again.
Sep 20, 2014
Sep 20, 2014 at 12:25 AM UTC
I used to hate the smell of cigarettes because they reminded me of you. And all the bad decisions you had made. They reminded me of the late night calls begging for a rescue. They reminded me of the broken window and bloodstained hand. You were so addicted to the things that lead to your demise. But you've traded your cigarettes and ***** for Christ and a bible. And you've bargained for your forgiveness and prayed for some redemption. But I still hate the smell of cigarettes, because they serve as a reminder of just how easy it is to spark the things we think will give us healing, but end up catching fire and destroy us.
Sep 20, 2014
Sep 20, 2014 at 12:23 AM UTC
They talk about these dead cells. Shocking them back into life. Making them immortal because every time they slip into nothingness they are brought back. I don't believe that any amount of science could bring you back to me. Not the way you were before. Your cells may return but you never truly will.
Sep 20, 2014
Sep 20, 2014 at 12:21 AM UTC
I never thought I'd be here
In front of this giant among men
As you tell me that you've struggled
And there's a light at the end
I never thought I'd be here
Sitting by your desk
As I confess that I'm not happy
And am wishing for the end
And I never thought I'd be here
As you tell me to hold on
I never thought I'd be here
But I'm already gone
Sep 20, 2014
Sep 20, 2014 at 12:20 AM UTC
The good can never stay
And the bad refuses to go
Your clothes aren't fitting right
And your spring skies only bring you snow
Your hands are numb,
to match your heart
And poison words
From your lips departs
Are these butterflies? Or nausea?
The two seem so alike
I'm puking up my feelings for you
But you turn around to fight
No comfort to be found here
No lingering embrace
All that's left's an empty soul
To match a nameless face
Sep 20, 2014
Sep 20, 2014 at 12:19 AM UTC
I wish there was more I could say to make you understand
The demons are inside of us, walking hand in hand
And when the nights come, when I cry myself to sleep
I tell myself it's your demons, that make you say those things
But the truth that I'm to afraid to find,
The truth that hides within your mind
Is it from your demons you wish to be free
Or are you tired of something else, something more like me?
Our demons don't play well together, at least not anymore
So perhaps we should say goodbye and open up new doors
Sep 20, 2014
Sep 20, 2014 at 12:14 AM UTC
I wonder what it's like to be the moon. To look down on those. Sleeping peacefully, falling in love, creating memories. I wonder how it would feel to know for once I was the source of light in someone's life. To be the one that is beautiful beyond comparison. Look at that moon tonight. I wonder how it would feel to be so selfless you let others use you for the countless hours. The moon that hangs, seamlessly without strings, but steady as a rock. It's reflection skewed by lakes and seas, I wonder if the moon is ever as lonely as me.
Sep 20, 2014
Sep 20, 2014 at 12:08 AM UTC
She craved adventure while he shied away. She'd step off the edge of a cliff, knowing she'd fall or fly, not caring which. While he'd stand by her side, ready to move, yet strings still attached, refusing to let him be ungrounded.
She longed so much for something other than automated responses and faked opinions. Something more than just a mirror.
Her mind was a canvas, waiting to be colored, while he remained hidden under plastic, to keep sheltered with all his domestic familiarity.
Sep 14, 2014
Sep 14, 2014 at 11:36 AM UTC
We all have things in life
That try to bring us down.
We push and pull and fight,
And scream for any way out.
Held tight for bonds of conformity,
Not daring to stand out.
We bury our identities,
And ourselves, begin to doubt.
But there's no reason for these things to be,
Why hide a luminous light?
Forget the rest and live your life,
And let your dreams take flight.
Sep 14, 2014
Sep 14, 2014 at 11:17 AM UTC
I understand life comes in waves
And I'm beginning to think
I need to hold onto the things that save
And let go of those that make me sink
Sep 20, 2014
Sep 20, 2014 at 12:18 AM UTC
Your binoculars are cracked
You've lost your sense of sight
Alone in the dark
You're filled with utter fright
Your targets been missed
And there's no where to go
Your binoculars are cracked
And now you've nothing to show
Your binoculars are cracked
The only way to see
But you're so far in the future
You forget to stop and be
Your hindsights 20/20
And now you realize
Your binoculars are cracked
But you have perfectly working eyes
Sep 20, 2014
Sep 20, 2014 at 12:17 AM UTC
I spent a lot of time missing you today. That one song came on that always makes me think of you. And I can't help but wonder if you're proud of me. I missed you more today than I think I have in thirteen years. I wondered if we'd be on this trip if you were here. I wonder if I'd yell at you for using all my stuff. I wonder if you'd cry on my shoulder when the boy at school doesn't love you back. I wonder if you'd roll down the windows with me and sing your heart out. I wonder if you'd look up to me or if you'd learn from my mistakes. I have a lot of thoughts on my mind tonight. Most about you. And I wonder if we'd go out together. I wonder if you'd have a crush on that boy in our church and I wonder if you'd be begging to wear makeup like I was. I wonder if you'd look like me and mom. I wonder a lot. I hope you know that I spend a lot of time thinking about you. And a lot of my decisions factor whether or not they will get me closer to meeting you.
Sep 20, 2014
Sep 20, 2014 at 12:12 AM UTC
I had a dream just the other day, that you were happy.
Happy like you were in July. Happy like you were when we were with each other.
And in the blink of an eye the world changed and you weren't happy anymore.
You pulled away. You said hurtful things and I couldn't believe you had changed so much.
To me it seemed like an instant change, and then I began to wonder how long those dark feelings had been working within you.
How long had you been fighting to stay happy and stay alive?
And what made you let them win. I don't know when the change came. I don't even know why.
But I know that it did. And I hope you find all that you want out of your life.
I dreamt about your happiness. If that doesn't make you believe I love you then I don't know what will
Sep 20, 2014
Sep 20, 2014 at 12:09 AM UTC