#nurseryrhymes
Rockabye Baby in the Treetops.
When the wind blows
The cradle will rock.
When the bough breaks
The Parents will sue.
NEVER STICK BABY UP IN A YEW!!!
Jan 8
Jan 8, 2026 at 6:18 PM UTC
(This is in memorial to Rudine Deratus who lost her health helping the People of Haiti.)
Jack and Jill
Went up the hill
To fetch a pail of water.
Jack fell down
And broke his crown
And Jill came tumbling after.
Some Buddhists heard
And following their word
They prayed for them all day.
But it disturbed them not:
Suffering doesn‘t stop.
Buddha said, “it was the way.”
Some Muslims learned
About this spill
And shrugged,
“For pain is Allah’s will.”
But some Christians heard
And thought, “Absurd!
Those Kids could have been killed!
They took the plunge
And raised the funds;
To bring the water down the hill!
They worked all night!
They worked all day!
Too scared to stop!
Too tired to pray!
They worked themselves
into exhaustion!
(But when Children are at risk
There is no time for caution!)
Their bones hurt too bad
For them to sleep!
Their crankiness
Did make some weep!
Their crankiness
Did make some fuss!
It even made
Some Christians cuss!
Others pointed
Fingers then:
“Look! Their faith
Does make them sin!”
“Seek peace and meditate!”
The Buddhists cried.
“It's not your fault
That some have died!”
Though the Christians ached,
They soon brought down
Running water
For the entire Town!
Jan 8
Jan 8, 2026 at 6:11 PM UTC
Humpty Dumpty sat on a Wall
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall
And all the King’s Horses
And all the King’s Men
Could not put Humpty together again.
But along came a Salesman
With miracle glue
He looked at Humpty
And knew what to do:
He spread him all over
With some of his goo.
So now Humpty Dumpty’s
As good as new!
Jan 8
Jan 8, 2026 at 6:04 PM UTC
This is based on an April Fool’s Day Sermon a Minister of mine gave. “Brother Ben” (Benny Burlison of Palestine Texas) preached from Nursery Rhymes that day instead of the Bible. He managed to make a moral point anyway, using some variation of this. I can’t remember his exact poem but I did remember the plot, so I just rewrote it.
Hey ****** ******
The Cat and the Fiddle!
The Cow jumped over the Moon.
The Little Dog laughed
To see such a sight
And the Dish ran away with the Spoon.
“No!" Said the Cup
Whose Kid was the Dish.
"Her marrying a Spoon
Was never my wish!”
And “No!” said the Bowl
Whose Kid was the Spoon
So they both prayed to God,
“Get our Children back soon!”
God heard their prayers
So when they went to a park
They met up with a compassionate Fork!
“Go home!” Said the Fork!
“I agree!” said a Knife!
“You are much too young
To be Husband and Wife!”
These Cutlery advised them all night
By the light of the Moon
The Kids came back
By the next afternoon!
Jan 8
Jan 8, 2026 at 5:58 PM UTC
by the light of the m👀n
in the blue @fterⁿ°°ⁿ/
həy ****** dibble,
a cat p!ays a fiddle,
a li'l d○g nam'd Skiffle
laffs like fracking a maniac,
& a cøw jnmps
👁ver a runcible ****
Jul 27, 2024
Jul 27, 2024 at 4:22 PM UTC
Mirror mirror on the wall
Who told the biggest lies of all
A tisket a tasket
He just flipped a gasket
Red Rover Red Rover
Let warheads come over
One, two skip to my Lou
Three, four, you’ll start a war
Five, six, you’re in a fix
Skip to my Lou, my darling.
Seven, eight, it’s just too late
Nine, ten, you'll never win
Skip to my Lou, my darling.
Here we go Lupti Lou
Here we go Lupti Lie
Here we go Lupti Lou
Why don’t you lay down and die
Ring around the Rosey
A pocket full of posers
Bashes, Crashes
The World falls down
Mary, Scary, quite contrary
How does your evil grow
With fire drill bells and armored shells
And dead bodies all in a row.
ljm
Apr 16, 2018
Apr 16, 2018 at 1:09 PM UTC
In the front yard
Over toward the left
Beside the climbing tree
Under the branches of the magnolia
Is a garden of dahlias
And a pond of water lilies
Which is great for hiding a body
If the need ever arises
So what happens when Jill
Comes running down the hill
Crying to Mary and her lamb
About how Jack had laid a hand
On her now ever-present frown
Spinning her head round
Jill is bawling because she knows
For breaking Jack's crown she'd face death row?
Into the pond half the body goes
The other half helps to make the plants grow
The girls sit and talk over a cup of tea
When Jill ponders over the meaning of free
Certainly not the sirens blaring out front
This is when Mary stubs out her blunt
Wanted for suspected ****** with fear in her eyes
Poor Miss Jill would have rather died
She begged and she pleaded for some form of mercy
But she was tangled in a web of controversy
Little lamb taken into custody by law
Mary found face down in a bale of straw
Foaming at the mouth
***** plus pills equates to south
Hauled off to jail
And stomach pumped back from hell
The girls become shells of nothingness
Creating only emptiness
Jul 7, 2016
Jul 7, 2016 at 12:09 AM UTC
Straw houses are
not
the safest,
but are
the warmest.
Mar 8, 2016
Mar 8, 2016 at 2:52 PM UTC
Mary, Mary, quite contrary,
How does your garden grow?
With breaking heart, torn apart,
And sharpened blades in a row.
Sep 24, 2015
Sep 24, 2015 at 5:32 AM UTC