#notsure
I'm not sure exactly where I stand
When people ask me if I'm a boy or a man.
But does it really matter?
You're going to see what you want to see.
You're going to say what you want to say.
So while you decide, I'll be standing on the side
Just being me.
May 1, 2021
May 1, 2021 at 6:29 PM UTC
Steady, we go along, stable, we seek our comforts.
And beyond us, the rest of everything lives.
Surrounding our dinner tables a conflict festers,
As my father yells across at my uncle about
The hate of our current leaders.
(i leave my eyes at my plate)
Consistent, we see ourselves, ugly, we see another side.
Another side I frequent is a “shooting range”,
Where before the curriculum starts for the year,
We learn how to fight against a shooter inside.
As I learn the thoughts of shakespeare,
And recite the constitution.
(i fear for when the shooting begins again)
Lost in a known life, I cower beneath those who stood taller.
The fervent few who knew history and what cycles it spawned.
The powerful ‘leaders’ who promised a better tomorrow,
Corrupted by constitution, and empirical deduction.
We stand side by side as family in the face of terror-
Be it red, blue, donkey or elephant.
(i know the lies they spread and still follow synced)
Oblivious we march in protest to ourselves.
Not knowing the start or how our story began.
Impervious to outside influence we are herded into ideologie,
And fed the grass and grains of knowledge warped into ‘morality’
Undead beliefs cycle themselves to those of the generational heir,
And respawns in the minds of those too cowardly to accept something else.
Fact and fiction morph into each other-
And grey becomes all we can see.
(blinded by a light gray scaled, i see myself as no one and everyone as the same)
Dec 15, 2020
Dec 15, 2020 at 4:50 PM UTC
Tell me them
Please
I want to hear you say it
I don't care if you don't mean it
Lie to me
I can't stand this
This unspoken hell
The hell that was unleashed suddenly
Talk to me at least
Please
Stay
Jun 15, 2019
Jun 15, 2019 at 10:45 PM UTC
Why does HE create such benevolent primary elements?
Why does HE assemble such monasteries in such a destructive macrocosm?
Why does HE reward with such magnanimity but in disobedience punish us with such brutality?
Why ,
Does HE create such benevolent primary elements?
Nov 19, 2018
Nov 19, 2018 at 3:46 AM UTC
even though i just met you this February,
even though i just met you this spring,
you are so unique.
different, really, i have never met someone like you.
We are opposites.
yet so close.
you get mad. Really mad sometimes.
i hope i can get you know you better.
let's hang out more.
let's go to another country sometime,
and get some smores.
Jun 8, 2018
Jun 8, 2018 at 11:35 AM UTC
* *
Even if I want to speak truth,
I don't think I can
I don't know if I know the truth
do you? really?
Maybe truth reside somewhere far
I know what I thought about,
what I perceived truth
can be true, may be not?
I'm never entirely sure,
what I have as truth is true
or what is the colour of raw truth.
......?
maybe that I'm clueless is the truth?
*
Nov 10, 2017
Nov 10, 2017 at 6:14 AM UTC
i’ve never been an actor
only degrees of myself
the mercury keeps rising
as if it has a mind of itself
it feels like a neo noir movie
dark, grim like a detective
so much I didn’t foresee
so much that’s unexpected
i have a friend, beautiful, caring
we had drinks at a restaurant
she wanted me to meet her friend
what is it that she could really want
i keep wanting to ask her about it
it’s as if my heart is afraid to die
it’s as if i can’t risk one heart beat
if only she knew my eyes don’t lie
which one is worse
being unhappily secure
or sleepless fulfillment
it’s something we all endure
i don’t worry about lunch
or buying someone a ring
i have you in all my prayers
but you only live by the wing
i wonder how one-sided it can be
dreams are only what we remember
if I tell someone then it’s not a dream
it’s just another line from an actor
it's like watching people board a plane
i’m not sure if they know why they’re going
waiting to get there is how they live
but arriving is how you’ll soon be knowing
Sep 12, 2017
Sep 12, 2017 at 10:28 PM UTC
Amongst the crowd
I can hear your heart beats so loud
I think I'm crazy
'Coz all around you is hazy
Everyone here is a good view
But no one is special except you!
I don't know if I'd take a risk
All i know with you is a bliss
I might get lost
Let's see where it goes
Maybe all is well
Or it will turn out as hell
Mar 22, 2017
Mar 22, 2017 at 4:22 PM UTC
I can cling to a golden thread of desperation if you put it within my reach
I can wrap it around my fingers and toes
I hope to cut off circulation until every breath of mine is a beautiful violet
I can twirl on the tips of my toes until the world around me turns faster and I am standing still
I'm not in wonderland
My teeth are made of glass but no matter how hard I clench my jaw, they refuse to break
My eyes are growing blades of grass within them but my god **** lawn mower won't start
Why do I always expect to be cared about?
Why are you always the martyr?
Why is it my job to take care of you when I still have to learn how to take care of myself?
Why can't you let branches grow from yourself and be your own **** person?
You follow in my footsteps like you are afraid of making your own imprint on this earth
Dig your feet into the ground and stomp
Create earthquakes with the impact
Shake down every brick building that was built up to block the sun from reaching your eyes
I was not put on this earth to be your protector
Your protector is within the thread of the leash you tied around my neck
I'm choking on air and you pluck it out of my mouth and swallow it whole and still complain of not being able to breath
Stop walking behind me and start running beside me
Gold is only found where you look and so far, you pretend to be blind
Stick legs don't bend but they break pretty **** easily
The flowers sprouting out of my ears are wilting
Recycled ideas should not fill your head
Your own ideas should
The thread tied around my wrists is yellow and black
I can't find the strength to snap it
I'll spend my empty days unraveling it, only getting it tangled up again
Feb 25, 2015
Feb 25, 2015 at 12:38 PM UTC
Why is it in movies
The characters are so real
So specific
But in reality people aren't even sure who or what they are
We're all in between
Living to slowly create some sort of something we can tolerate calling ourselves
Dec 5, 2014
Dec 5, 2014 at 10:41 PM UTC
I'm not sure about you
I'm not sure about me
I'm not sure about us
I'm not sure about you leaving me
I'm not sure about me staying behind
I'm not sure about us being apart
I'm not sure about you and I being together
I'm not sure about how to say to us;
I'm
Not
Sure
Oct 27, 2014
Oct 27, 2014 at 2:55 PM UTC
bloodied hands rub walls of confessionals like a cheap imitation of the most beautiful stained glass
theres beauty in the way you whisper my name followed by the words not good enough
your body is colored in someone else's fingerprints and i've been burning my hands to shape mine in just that way
kiss my lips until they crack like the sidewalks of the city that we used to dance in
bare feet on dashboards, cigarettes in your mouth, and hands around my neck: a list of things that make the most sense
a sunset reflecting off a mirrored building, eyes watered down until dark blue is nothing but the color of blue jeans
thunderstorm veins and lighting in my skin as my jaw becomes a platform for your kiss
your eyes are pools of holy water, but my lungs are full and I've been drowning for quite a long time now
Apr 20, 2014
Apr 20, 2014 at 9:54 PM UTC