#notmyfault
once had a boyfriend
well was he technically that?
me thinks not
me thinks he just wanted to *** into
ma pants
and a few other assorted boys used this
same line
how they would complain
entangled in the car
hot breath heaving
long deep kisses
bodies writhing
on summer nights
and cold winter ones too
always squirming away
from curiously demanding
hands
after the zipper
between the thighs
warm delicious sensations...
But WAIT....
what will they say tomorrow?
so.... squirming away
never giving in
to the passion arising
high as the sky
frustrated...
these boys
would complain
like a little boy
not getting their new toy
YOU are giving me
BLUE *****
really? is that really
a condition?
or are you just pulling my
proverbial leg?
and REALLY
it is MY fault?
me thinks not...
in any event
one day it came
to say
well... if you aren't
acquainted with your
right hand
perhaps now is the
time
and if you want a little
variety
use your left
and if you are feeling particularly
frisky
try them both
for the menage a trois!
it worked perfectly for ME
for them
well
i didn't wait
around too
long to
SEE....
Jan 23, 2016
Jan 23, 2016 at 1:44 PM UTC
It’s only a necklace.
It shouldn’t mean much at all,
yet it holds everything I can never have,
it’s all I can do not to fall.
I’m gripping onto the shadows—
to the person he left behind.
Trying to remember his voice, his smile,
to make a picture inside my mind.
Is it strange to hate someone you never knew,
yet love them all the same?
I cannot tell if this is the truth,
or if my head is playing games.
The photographs of his kids and loving wife
make me wonder if he was ever there at all,
or if he was just a ghost of self-made fiction—
the unknown will become my downfall.
The truth is, he has so many others now.
A family to call home.
So why can’t I just let it go,
and go back to my own?
It’s just one silly gift.
It shouldn’t mean so much to me.
But without remembering who I was,
how do I know who I’m supposed to be?
Feb 24, 2021
Feb 24, 2021 at 3:15 PM UTC
It's not your fault if he doesn't say hi as you walk by.
It's not your fault if she doesn't seem to know you exist.
But it's not their fault either.
It's not your fault if you feel too much or nothing at all.
And if it gets bad, there's nothing wrong with curling up in a ball.
We all need an escape.
This is an important one.
It is NOT your fault if you get addicted to the drugs or the drink.
It's not your fault if you get so stressed, you can't eat, sleep, or think. It's not your fault
Because bad things, confusion, sadness, stress, loss, anger...it happens to everyone. It's not a choice.
Sep 19, 2020
Sep 19, 2020 at 11:02 PM UTC
The words roll-off
your tongue
like you've been
practising
in front of a mirror
Don't attempt
to humour me
Somehow I
want you
to wear my skin,
try it on
see how it
feels
But at the
same time I
don't wish
such a thing
on my worst enemy
Your jokes
always hit home
You told
each one
with a straight face
how was I
supposed to know
whether you
meant it or
not
You find it
frustrating just
being my guardian
imagine the torment
I go through each
and every day
trapped in this
skin of mine
You can't blame
Him,
so you blame
me
It's
sickening
Youth isn't
an excuse
it's a scapegoat
Please let me be, and grow up
Jun 10, 2020
Jun 10, 2020 at 10:44 AM UTC