#nothappy
I cried in silence again.
The tears streamed down
And made puddles on my carpet floor
I'm lying on again.
I watched the minutes change again.
Somehow the clocks go from five thirty
To nine thirty in an hour;
I've been on the same assignment.
I took a nap this afternoon again.
But I didn't even turn out the lights,
I don't know if i fell asleep
Or if I was just falling like I was the rest of the day.
My sweatshirt sleeves are wet again.
It's too hot out to wear long sleeves
But I sweat through it anyway;
I'm just cold.
My room is scattered with mess again.
Bugs crawling, biting at my legs
As I'm lying in my bed, awake,
Because I'm living a nightmare.
I'm not happy anymore.
But don't think I ever was,
I'm not sad, not quite,
Don't know who this world was made for...
But I don't think for me.
Jun 9, 2025
Jun 9, 2025 at 8:48 AM UTC
I don't know what I did
The past is so blurry
I can't remember
What I did to deserve this
My mind won't leave me alone
But you will
My hands move on their own
Texting you again
I know you'll never love me too
I understand you're using me
But red flags through rose-tinted glasses
Just look like flags
Armed with my heart on my sleeve
And rose-tinted glasses
Ready for you to use me
Because pain is the only thing that's real
Jun 25, 2020
Jun 25, 2020 at 10:31 PM UTC
She looks so happy, always laughing and never crying
But beneath that smile, heart of hers is slowly dying
She's covering it up with that lively mask
Keeping it up just be an impossible task
I hope she knows that one day it will break
And everyone will see that it's all been fake
Not just her smile but her entire life
She's doing it all to escape the knife
She's trying her best but it's cutting deep
And even tho she feels the pain
She'll never let them see her weep
Apr 1, 2019
Apr 1, 2019 at 1:53 AM UTC
i think i was just used
my mind abused
for ****** gain
and personal strain
he's a good friend
or was rather
now i'm starting to think
i don't matter.
Mar 6, 2019
Mar 6, 2019 at 5:22 PM UTC
Ive been regretting to write this because I don’t want it to be trye. The other morning I woke up to find my brother died that night. He was 16 and seemed to always be a happy person. I should have seen the signs. My father and Grandmother are torn up. We all blame ourself. We have lost a HUGE part of the family. I might seem fine at one point then terrible the next. The pain of lost comes in waves. I hope you all had a great 2018 and a fantastic 2019. I’ll see you all in the upcoming year of greatness. 2019 is for you little buddy. May you rest calmly and happy just like you seamed to live with us. I’m sorry I didn’t know you needed help. I love you.
Jan 3, 2019
Jan 3, 2019 at 9:17 AM UTC
Sitting in a large room
with a few people
around - 2 friends,
20 acquaintance,
One frenemy, and
50 sloggers with a frown.
Every time I look at their filthy face
I tend to rub down
the pain the sarcasm
They use to bring me down.
I often
fail to understand
the purpose why
these ********* are still
running around
For, I find this place
to be ideal for dressing down.
Everyone here looks stuck,
behind the thick walls
of the glorious fraternity
with hidden brawls
trying to solve unworthy affairs
when all they can do is a conference call.
They are highly judgemental and fail to express
the agony behind their not-so-happy face.
Broken and shattered,
Cause they never really mattered.
with their morality scaling down
laughing while facing a nervous breakdown
these losers are nothing but a big pile of
something in the colour
"Yellowish brown."
Aug 9, 2018
Aug 9, 2018 at 7:25 AM UTC
I’m not entirely sure on how to start,
Other than I have depression,
I feel like I’m falling apart...
This isn’t exactly how I wanted it to be,
But we don’t always get want we want,
I’m just trying to let you know, let you see.
I’m always shrugging my shoulders,
I can’t seem to really get used to it?
But I’m not getting any bolder.
It’s like drowning,
Chained to a rock, i’m Sinking.
I can’t stop, i’m Always thinking.
Crying out of nowhere is fun as well,
It makes me wanna give up my soul,
Literally feels like I’m living in hell.
I don’t ever really talk about it,
No one really... cares?
I don’t know how anyone feels about it...
I just sorta... sit in this silence.
Waiting for this weight to go away.
I don’t like it down here,
I don’t wanna stay.
But I gotta, because i’m Chained.
My mind is insane, constantly strained.
I just wanna go back into your arms,
Where I feel at home.
That way... I can feel some sort of comfort.
I know this is probably not the best poem to explain how I feel,
But it’s the best I could do, I finally broke the seal...
Jul 31, 2018
Jul 31, 2018 at 1:09 PM UTC
I miss home
I miss home so much
I don’t feel good Being here
My heart is comfortable
Not my brain
I can’t sleep at night
Up all night
Can’t think straight
I miss home
Where I feel more comfortable
Crying on the inside
Smiling on the outside
Nobody will understand
Why I miss home
Jun 5, 2018
Jun 5, 2018 at 3:44 PM UTC
People read my poems.
People sometimes like my poems.
People sometimes tell me they can relate.
People sometimes put my poems on there page.
But no matter what i write.
People never say.
I like your poems.
Nov 8, 2017
Nov 8, 2017 at 5:23 PM UTC
Tell yourself you're worthless a thousand times a day
create a work of abstract art on your arms, blue veins aren't the only lines painting the canvas
forget what a smile looks like, but remeber what happiness felt like
sleep the days away, become a night owl and your prey is your own brain
**** every ounce of humanity that once remained
become the lifeless corpse you pictured in your grave.
Revive yourself
begin to sew the open wounds back together
start to remeber what a smile was and taste the sweetness of the sun in the day
live in your warmth, thrive in happiness
did life truly get better? are you finally happy again?
revert back to your old ways
the golden days were just a figment of your imagination
a wonderland of sorts
happiness for you my dear, is never to be truly obtained.
you're worthless remember? you don't deserve it.
Oct 17, 2017
Oct 17, 2017 at 11:54 AM UTC
Letting the Light Burn
Flashing stars in an empty room
Say it louder
Turning around around the way I've been taught
Lights Burn and Flashing
Classical piano slower
Say it louder
Another happy thought
Turning the universe around me in my room
Dancing with the stars on my ceiling
It's you
Everyone has a hard day sometimes
You would know more than most
You will never tell with the smile on your face
No one can guess the pain you felt
Say it louder!
Another happy thought
I feel you
I see you living long
No hiding behind the door!
But opening the window for me to join
Say it louder
Another happy thought
Somehow morphing into your shadow
In a way becoming more like you while keeping who I am
Running low
Start to lose my sense of home
Then it's you
Say it louder
Another happy thought
I want eternity
Don't give me a thing
Faces on film is all I see
Say it louder
Another happy thought
You can tell the world now
That it's all gone and now it's all here
Please
Say it louder
Another happy thought
Aug 19, 2016
Aug 19, 2016 at 4:45 PM UTC
I'm sorry I'm a failure I'm sorry I'm a **** I'm sorry I ruin everyone's life I'm sorry I'm a nobody and I'm sorry that I care what people think I'm sorry I'm depressed I'm sorry for being mean I'm sorry I'm stupid I'm sorry I feel pain in my heart cause nobody cares about me I'm sorry I am empty of happiness I'm sorry I am a ****** up piece of **** I'm sorry I'm alive and doing these things I wish I was different but I'm so sorry I'm not I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm so sorry I'm nothing to be exited about I'm sorry .........
Jul 10, 2016
Jul 10, 2016 at 10:03 PM UTC
*my daily routine is tragedy
i just want to be happy...*
(c.m.h)
Aug 18, 2014
Aug 18, 2014 at 11:53 AM UTC
if i am smiling,
it doesn't mean
i'm happy,
if i am laughing,
it doesn't mean
i'm happy,
if i am having fun,
it doesn't mean
i'm happy,
it only means
i'm too sad
to do anything else,
besides hide under
masks which include
fake smiles and
a happy soul.
May 21, 2014
May 21, 2014 at 2:19 PM UTC