#notboyfriend
You said, “It’s not that I don’t want you,”
and somehow that hurt more
than if you had just said no.
Because almost feels closer
than nothing at all.
You say you need to work on yourself,
that you’re not ready,
that you don’t want to drag me
into something unfinished.
And I nod like I understand,
like my heart isn’t quietly arguing back.
I don’t want to fix you.
I don’t want to rush you.
I just want to be there—
sitting beside you while you figure it out,
not waiting on the outside
pretending I don’t care this much.
I feel selfish for wanting more,
pushy for wishing you’d choose me anyway.
But when I’m with you,
I feel like myself in a way
that’s hard to explain and harder to let go of.
You make it easy to laugh,
easy to talk,
easy to forget how complicated this is.
I don’t want to be just friends.
I don’t want to pretend
this doesn’t matter to me.
I want to be the person
you let in while you grow,
not the one you come back to
when you’re done.
And maybe that’s too much to ask.
But it’s honest.
Apr 10
Apr 10, 2026 at 3:15 PM UTC
I like you in a quiet way,
the kind that doesn’t have a name yet.
Not “boyfriend,”
not “mine,”
just this soft space
where my feelings sit and wait.
I know you talk to other people.
I see it,
hear it in passing,
notice the way your attention
doesn’t belong anywhere for long.
And I tell myself
I have no right to mind.
You’re not mine.
You never said you were.
But that doesn’t stop the small ache
when I realize
I’m not the only one
who gets your jokes,
your time,
your smile.
I don’t want to be selfish.
I don’t want to expect things
you never promised.
I just wish—quietly, secretly—
that I didn’t have to share you
with the rest of the world.
I wish I could say
what this feeling really is,
and hear you say it back.
Because liking you feels easy.
Not knowing where I stand
is the hard part.
Apr 10
Apr 10, 2026 at 10:09 AM UTC