#notanymore
BOY: Hey, If you're just thinking
I'm gonna start the conversation
I'm sorry! Unlike all the times,
It's not happening this time!!
NOT ANYMORE!
GIRL: Oh! I see...
I know right!!
chuckles
Dec 15, 2018
Dec 15, 2018 at 6:45 AM UTC
Afterall , I guess,
It wasn't all that bad.
Maybe nothing is all that bad.
I danced at the cliff with you for a long time ,
The fall felt like end of life - quite painful but everybody saw that coming.
And there were days for sure , when the dances appeared like a havoc , heated with chaos all over it.
But we danced through.
They told me to move on and forget him. Is that what moving on means ?
Maybe nothing is all that bad.
I hope our brains came up with recycle bins.
Escapism isn't a word , if it is I don't see where it exists.
I carry pieces of people with me as I share the same breath with them .
And to move on from him took me long enough , but I remember the firsts and the lasts and will always do.
Because he took a part of me too ,
A part that is safe with him.
We shared our bodies together ,
We drew each other on the canvases of love ,
I dived into you , you were there like a safeguard, full of air.
And the laughs and cries are always real , no one can be that fake.
So maybe when you share the same corridor as mine and would pass besides me I won't pause to gather the mutual atoms amidst us anymore .
I would recognize the smell as something familiar , and will walk away.
Maybe it's time to let go
Jun 29, 2018
Jun 29, 2018 at 12:39 PM UTC
Friends fade.
I know this.
Why does it hurt though?
Knowing because of a decision I made,
My friendship is fading.
It wasn't a bad move.
I introduced her to another person.
Now her life is consumed by that other person.
She thinks because I've been here for three years
That it's okay to ignore me
Because I'll “Never leave”
Sure.
We will go with that.
I'll cry
I'll think about ending everything
I'll be dramatic
I'll take the poking and prodding
I'll take the “jokes”
I'll take the low blows
I'll take the teasing and the ********
But I'll be there
When she needs me I'll be there
But then I need her she tells me to find someone else
When I need her she tells me what I need to do
When I need her she tells me to **** it up
When I need her she tells me to stop crying
She's a pessimist
What am I expecting?
Nothing,
Anymore.
I'm an optimist.
At least I think I am.
Can I be an optimist when I feel like **** all day?
Can I be an optimist when all I want to do is die?
When all I want to do is never see anyone ever again,
Yet crave human connection?
Why do I care?
Why should I care?
People don't care about me
Why do I care about them so much?
Why should I care that because of me my best friend has new friends?
Why should I care that she does everything with her that she use to do with me,
Even just sitting in silence together.
That was our thing
Now it's theirs.
I shouldn't be angry
Or jealous
I should be happy
She found someone new
A newer, cooler version or me
Right?
She doesn't need me anymore.
She was the one to put the time limit on the friendship
Not me
When we get into arguments she says
The two years is past it's due.
Like we weren't supposed to be friends for this long
With this mentality
She doesn't try to repair
To fix
To care
I put in double the effort for something she doesn't want to fix
Because it's over the expiry date
Because
According to her
Our friendship is rotten
Something that shouldn't be
Something that is an anomaly in her life
And because of this she doesn't think she should care
That she shouldn't try
Nov 17, 2017
Nov 17, 2017 at 12:18 AM UTC
I was jealous of pretty girls
I was jealous of smart girls
I was jealous of the popular ones
I was jealous of the rich ones
Jealous of girls with a lover
Jealous of girls with a father.
Jealous cause I was
Unable to believe in myself
Unable to accept myself
I wasn't happy with myself.
I used to be so insecure before,
But not anymore.
Aug 10, 2017
Aug 10, 2017 at 5:30 PM UTC
If you asked me about his eyes,
I would tell you about how they shine when he smiles
and how they look all brighten up when he's laughing.
I would tell you about the look he gets when he's happy
and how they avoid mine when he's mad.
I would tell you about how I can taste the sweetness from his eyes
when he looks at me and smiles.
I would tell you about how it hurts me to see his eyes sad.
And if you asked me about his hands,
I would tell you about how they always seem to find mine
and how their softness makes me feel calmed.
I would tell you about his arms
and how they comfort me and make me feel loved
when I feel like nothing is right.
I would tell you about the tenderness of his lips
and how I always want them up against mine.
I would tell you about his kindness, his sweetness and charm,
and how he never fails to make me laugh.
If you asked me,
I would tell you about how time spent with him never seems enough, and somehow I always end up still wanting more.
There’ll never be enough words to describe my love for him.
There’ll never be enough ways to show him how much I care.
He’s my one, my everything and my forever.
And I wouldn’t like it any other way.
May 21, 2016
May 21, 2016 at 8:59 PM UTC
For someone who once called me their everything,
You sure didn’t seem to give a ****
When I called you, thighs bleeding and eyes leaking
But all I got was a voicemail
At least I got to hear your voice one more time
Truth be told, I don’t want you
No, I don’t want you
Not anymore
Not like I used to
But I want you to want me
I want you to want me, but know you can’t have me anymore
Not anymore
Because you let go of the one girl that ever actually gave a **** about you,
Yes, I want you to want me like I once wanted you
So you can feel the pain that comes with karma
And one sided love.
Nov 11, 2015
Nov 11, 2015 at 7:26 PM UTC
Disgrace you say
To who?
To you?
It's okay
You don't have to worry
Not anymore
I disown you
Jun 9, 2015
Jun 9, 2015 at 6:34 PM UTC