#noconfidence
I am told to speak up,
Then to shut up by the same people.
Alone, I'm in this big tub,
Water filling it up until I get crushed by the pressure.
The people talk continuously.
I wonder where they got that confidence from.
Because I can do neither,
Maybe because I was taught that when I was a kid, in my own little "home".
Dec 24, 2025
Dec 24, 2025 at 3:07 PM UTC
When I speak I stutter,
As if there is no worth,
To the words that I utter.
My thoughts sound out in a jumble,
A mess that cannot be deciphered or untangled.
My thoughts are clear but my sounds are a mumble.
If only I could convey my message,
Give to you my thoughtful deliverance.
Instead I make myself look like I am swimming in ignorance.
When I write my words are clear,
But you’ll never see it because of my fear.
My fear of failure,
My fear of disappointment,
From you, in me.
If only I could share my mind,
So you could see things through my eyes,
So you could feel these feelings of mine.
Because my mouth does not connect to my mind.
My mind is sharp but my voice is weak,
I feel nothing but shame,
When I speak my bumbling speech.
Oct 6, 2018
Oct 6, 2018 at 1:46 PM UTC
All these tears I've wept,
the secrets I've kept,
the nights I haven't slept.
For myself, I cannot accept.
- self-esteem dreams
Sep 22, 2017
Sep 22, 2017 at 3:43 AM UTC
It's me who is my enemy,
Me who beats me up,
Me who makes the monsters,
Me who strips my confidence.
Jan 20, 2017
Jan 20, 2017 at 9:42 PM UTC
I used to fear depression. Now I look in the mirror and want to smash it into pieces. I put on fake smiles, I have no confidence, no one likes me, I hate this place. Now I know why I feared it.
Jan 12, 2017
Jan 12, 2017 at 11:20 AM UTC
doubt
questions
doubt myself
no confidence
my own worst critic
motivation is gone
I hunger to find it back
I long to feel good about me,
feel good about the words I’ve written
but I don’t think I can do this much more
overflowing with confidence, I write
ambition rises like a phoenix
fires of yearning burn aloft
passion for writing to you
joy of sharing my soul
hunger to write more
words are my life
I will write
words of
love
Oct 28, 2014
Oct 28, 2014 at 2:24 PM UTC
My loyalties ought to be elsewhere
Not self-respect.
Twenty-ought years
Of listening, performing
Commands in my ears
Atop the most prominent point
Of a circle.
Do I speak up and proclaim my wants,
As they have, as they do
Whose execution is one’s normative due?
Do I risk monstrosity
That grotesque
Of passivity turned active?
O, people hate the biting mirror.
Architecture worn and rubble
Precludes the fate of so headstrong nations:
A people, all leaders,
Would swallow and spite
Litter the flowers with bones
And plight.
Great structures built with power
Are levied ‘gainst the weak
For plurality would cancel it out;
It’s not imperative
Bodies of power to push for us all,
The lion’s share.
It’s more an empty cadence, mere practice
To tickle emotions
And prove, ultimately, the infallibility
Of tenets of strength and structure:
The passive are submissive
As they should.
Aug 14, 2014
Aug 14, 2014 at 8:32 AM UTC