#newwriter
i love you that much
so when there is
a choice
between you and me
i choose to love
May 16, 2025
May 16, 2025 at 4:34 PM UTC
maybe
i love you
because
i don’t know what love is
i’m sure
i do
but for you
i don’t want to follow the rules
May 10, 2025
May 10, 2025 at 6:01 PM UTC
you can drink how much you want
but you will never see me in her
you can find another girl
who jokes the same as I did before
who laughs the same, who smiles the same
but it will never be me again
Mar 26, 2025
Mar 26, 2025 at 2:09 PM UTC
Sorrow swirls in the shell that I am
Was already broken before we began
Cracks only noticed if you doubletake
Pieces of me held together by tape
no one could see the facade was great
Finally I think I wont hesitate
This is the first day I walked through my gate Since losing myself through tragic mistakes Then by what must have been fate
I stumbled onto a girl hunched by a lake with no expression on her face
pieces of her scattered all over the place
I asked her how long has it been this way?
A tiny voice shaking with fear
Said as long as I remember
You See this lake is my tears
I state one this size must take many years you would a been a child where was your Mom during this dear?
The small voice replies She was drinking her beers . Chasing a man she didn't even notice that I was crying began. And It's my fault in the end there's no denying before me mommy was happy.
I stop her right there and say this just can't be true why would think that way
I get no reply the small voice went silent
Still waiting to die . Then I say it louder why is this inside of your head did you think it up yourself or is it something someone said.
She replied more quite then before
Mom told me herself one night on the floor
She came home drunk and alone
I loved nights like these bc after I rubbed on her feet I got I lay next to her untill we fell asleep . I thought she liked it to then she told me it was my fault.
I listened and thought wow I'm such a coward took me so long to face the world bc image is my power . That night we spoke for what seemed like hours.
That was one of her many sad sad encounters this woman never felt any joy or excitement for over 30 years she took on others burdens and liked it. Because she thought it was her role
I couldn't handle hearing this anymore
I started grabbing up all the parts that I could see. Trying to piece her together my tape at her seams I kept pulling more from from every part i could see then i started to drop parts of myself thoughts of what if people see me not whole, wait this girl needs my help. Picked up my parts as the dropped put them in my pocket she has been sad to long it's time for me to stop it. She started to stand she was almost all together this was my plan . I wanted to give her the rest of her life never feeling any of that pain or strife All the pieces found,but one I frantically searched in the sand where is it ? It's not here how can I keep my promise? Her smile was my goal I told her that honest . Her last part was gone she thanked me and said that I tried it was enough. Just take the tape back this gesture had touched her but can't feel it inside . The part that was missing was her heart. I had used all my tape and pockets where full . I came so close to seeing her glow . I couldn't stop now she needed to know life has moments that are more precious than gold I wanted to show life h . Said you will take the burden of others as long as they ask well take mine as a final request . I want you to live your life to the fullest and try your very best
Never loose that smile please stay focused I will be rooting for you then I reached in my chest pulling my heart out I felt it's final beat . Placed in in her and it fit perfectly I could see that the rhythm of her new heart was well it was me . I smiled and said now your complete
Oct 7, 2024
Oct 7, 2024 at 6:56 AM UTC
Asked me to never leave ,
Said you just wanted love
Your past made it hard to believe
My past had me giving up
I wanted you to see
That you where always enough
So I Reopened my scars
And started to bleed
My past mishaps
The hidden history
Ripping them open
For you, but the world's could see
Still not enough because
Your trauma ran deep
Filled with insecurities down to the core
Your beauty unique and I needed more
The cost to succeed
Is fabled in lore
Wanted to be your Hercules
Struggles I endured
As new scars where taking form
I started feeling weak
Realizing in that moment
To save you would mean loosing me
I start to think
maybe I should walk away
Then your words clearly rang
You asked me to never leave
So your hero I will stay
It took every drop I had
When I had nothing left
you rose like a queen
Filled with my love
You started to leave
In your eyes you conquered the beast
No hero came Your enemy was me
Oct 7, 2024
Oct 7, 2024 at 6:43 AM UTC
You where the
Shining hope that
Brought me back to life
You filled the hole
in my heart
Just right
from the start
It was a perfect fit
Then
A nightmare hit
When I thought
I love my kids
I feel so sick
I had a family
Loved them
Thought she
Was ride or die
Never once did
It Cross my mind
That she would
Leave me behind
I realized
Fear in my eyes
Repeating the pain
Stuck in rewind
After that
I stayed in disguise
Love hidden through lies
Forgetting you and I
Are separate you couldn't
See my hearts true intentions
And I Couldn't hear
any of your questions
Begging me why
Or see tears in your eyes
Years of repetition
Left you traumatized
I'm sorry that
My inability to change
Changed your view
Witch changed the way
You shaped To fill the hole
In my heart
You where a perfect fit
Right from the start
But today is different
I played the biggest part
I Just damaged while
you helped me grow
I wish I could manage
Just to let you know
When you vanished
I faced the fear alone
I'll never cover up
A fear with a lie
It took me letting you go
To open my eyes
Now I have to live
the rest of my life
Knowing I caused
The demise of some one
That fit me so perfect
I hope that in time someone
Shows you your worth it
This is the goodbye
I don't want but
You deserve it
Oct 7, 2024
Oct 7, 2024 at 6:41 AM UTC
twelve thirty-something in my sister's apartment
a moment of dancing and your lips met mine
tequila-stained breath and the sound of them talking
all disappeared at that moment in time.
Chocolate brown eyes and with a gaze I got lost in
What does this mean? Who is this guy?
your hands on my waist and the feeling of fire
all disappeared when you said goodbye.
Six months later you walk up my driveway
hands in your pockets, hair freshly done
lost in my sheets we spend half the day
How could this be? Is he the one?
One year later, we share the same bedroom
i sleep every night my head tucked in your arm
people's assumptions, is this happening too soon?
that feeling of fire is a slow constant warm.
You know all my secrets, we share the same hairbrush
we go and buy groceries, we laugh through the aisles
i know that I’ve said I’ve loved once before
but day after day you heal my inner child.
You hold my heart like it’s glass in your hands
Delicate and soft, precious as diamond
They always told me true love is worth waiting for,
but I never thought this was how I would find him.
I am yours in mind, and body, and soul
I’ll go through this life holding your hand in mine
and when our bones turn weary and old
when our breaths slow down and we know that it’s time
I’ll die smiling knowing I lived this life with you
we shared the best and the worst of our days
And when we depart I know I won’t miss you;
In every lifetime, I’ll love you this way.
Jul 4, 2024
Jul 4, 2024 at 12:25 PM UTC
Friends walk side-by-side
when you need them most
as woes tug at your sleeve
or tackle you from behind
they're there to halt the fall
until you're ready
ready to face the rising sun
as the curtains open on a new day
that is not overwhelming anymore
Jun 13, 2023
Jun 13, 2023 at 9:05 AM UTC
Love is a smile or a hug,
making someone a cup
of tea. Love is holding hands,
intimate massages,
offering support.
Love is early morning kisses,
making breakfast
in bed. Love is complete understanding, long conversations
and telling truths.
Love is a connection of the heart,
making a long journey. Love is
forever enduring, always receiving,
helping others.
Love is a word (or two),
making joint decisions,
love is unspoken -
sometimes soundless
or confidently loud.
Love is intimate, love
is kind, it's those late
phone calls. Love is unwavering,
intimate stares,
delicate yet strong.
Love is more than ****** intimacy,
it's keeping a
life promise. Love is sacred -
beautifully pure,
love is holy.
Love is all of these qualities.
so before you love -
remember them.
Feb 6, 2022
Feb 6, 2022 at 3:15 PM UTC
The little deity that demands to be worshiped
It fills your soul with it's potent fragrance
Kings and queens are brought to their knees
By this little deity
The purest of souls becomes the darkest abyss
Controlled and empowered for its purpose
Breaking free is not an option
Underestimate not the power of this deity
This deity relishes the torment it gives
Playing on weaknesses
Poking and provoking
A volcanic eruption
For this spontaneous deity
Comes and goes at whim
In uncontrollable bouts
Preying on it's unsuspecting victims
Inside its shrine weapons are created
Killing and destroying
Like a fire breathing dragon
Consuming all in it's path
When this deity is done
Regrets and emptiness are left in its wake
With you crumbling to your knees
The extent of damages unfolds.
Aug 17, 2020
Aug 17, 2020 at 6:06 AM UTC
Let's talk about life.
Talk about pain.
About the scars and let them speak.
Let the cuts of the heart speak
the story of the lines in your wrist.
Let silence fill the place. let dance in between the nakedness of words
That cut the throat and spread colors of sadness until someone young with the same broken soul come to hold your hand and to talk about tragedies and sing pretentious poetry and make your skin dance in the glass. In the same understandably manner and let watch **** and in the morning when they need you most leave them with the naked body and create one more heartbreak. one more grief.
let create the happy face that no one gets to know How eyes ache in the closed room Where tears break the soul and let see everyone weep, let walk and run from everything that makes you feel the rain. And when the boy who lives next to me, tried to attempt suicide some days before. And said to me why are you so sad And smile like heaven and he continued let make love and get attached but not in name of love and create more love and love every day and one day I'll
Vacated your heart. And give me one more chance to break your courage to live. Just one more chance to destroy your essence and one more chance to make love with you and one more chance so I can leave your life with tragedy.
and He is too kind to me.
May 21, 2020
May 21, 2020 at 9:46 PM UTC
✧She smelled of flowers and vanilla✧
✧Late at night you could hear her;✧
✧She'd sing to herself quietly✧
✧Just like her daddy always did,✧
✧If you'd look close enough✧
✧You'd see the tears in her eyes✧
✧And the storm in her heart.✧
✧She'll never admit it,✧
✧But she does deeply miss him.✧
May 11, 2020
May 11, 2020 at 4:06 PM UTC
☆My head's in the clouds,☆
☆My eyes are on the stars,☆
☆My feet wanders in the forest,☆
☆My fingers are dancing with the flowers,☆
☆My soul's traveling somewhere east,☆
☆But my heart remains with you.☆
☆Sounds like i'm torn apart?☆
☆No my dear,to be honest☆
☆I've never felt so whole.☆
May 3, 2020
May 3, 2020 at 6:58 AM UTC
♡I love you,♡
♡More than all the clouds and stars,♡
♡Deeper than all the oceans and skies,♡
♡Further than the horizont and moon,♡
♡Louder than all the screams and fights,♡
♡Warmer than the sun itself,♡
♡I Love You.♡
May 1, 2020
May 1, 2020 at 12:40 PM UTC
✿I wish i could go to another world✿
✿To start it all over again,✿
✿Without the same mistakes;✿
✿Without wasting half of my life✿
✿just by being sad and alone.✿
✿I want a new beginning.✿
✿Please give me a fresh page ✿
✿and a sparkly ink,✿
✿Let me begin again✿
✿I promise I'll do it right this time.✿
Apr 29, 2020
Apr 29, 2020 at 1:48 PM UTC
It is hard to find a light
A moth drawn to the flame
Because we have lost something special
Oh, where are we?
It is hard to understand
How life has changed
We’ve lost our old selves
Oh, where are we?
Why is there a human
Standing all alone, in the dark?
Is it because he can’t find the light?
Oh, where are we?
Why is there a human
Crying from his soul?
Is it because he can’t find himself?
Oh, where are we?
Why is there a human
Trying to pull apart from the dark?
Is it because the dark is blinding?
Oh, where are we?
Maybe that human is us
And we can’t find something missing
We have lost someone long the way, ourselves...
Oh, where are we?
Dec 14, 2019
Dec 14, 2019 at 7:10 AM UTC
Erosion of her brain
made her something new
but new
is not always shiny
new
can be angry
new
can be dangerous
new
can be broken
new
can break you
and her
and us
No going back to the womb
it isn’t the same home
I wonder
would she grow me differently
with her new brain?
maybe she’d grow a daughter
who knew
who her mother was
with brain cancer.
Nov 4, 2019
Nov 4, 2019 at 3:47 PM UTC
I slam against the door of time
like a petulant child.
What do you mean,
I scream
What do you mean,
that there is no alternative
to this ********
you call waiting.
Oct 26, 2019
Oct 26, 2019 at 4:28 PM UTC
Did you know I’m brave?
Did you know I’m caring?
Did you know I’m extraordinary?
I’d like to cash these in.
I’d like a payout.
I’d like something in return.
Did you know I’m weak?
Did you know I’m pathetic?
Did you know I’m ungrateful?
I’d like to be punished.
I’d like to be held accountable.
I’d like to bleed away my guilt.
If you’re still listening,
I’d like to know what it is
that I truly deserve.
I’d like to feel free from worrying
that I’m taking too much,
Or not enough,
Or too much,
Or not enough
Oct 23, 2019
Oct 23, 2019 at 2:49 PM UTC
Are you lost? And asking me for the way.
Well, my love, I am as lost as you are.
Mar 31, 2019
Mar 31, 2019 at 10:08 PM UTC
You were searching everywhere.
All in vain.
But didn't it strike you,
How can you look for someone,
who doesn't want to be found?
Mar 23, 2019
Mar 23, 2019 at 5:25 AM UTC
In some parallel universe.
Where blessings are curse.
Where doctor are called nurse.
You keep your kids in the purse.
You sit on the dogs and houses are guarded by horse.
Where the grains are powder and the flour is coarse.
Where the rain is burning hot and the bird roars.
The money is nothing and your right matters.
The guys are scared to go out in the night and the world is hers.
Apr 7, 2019
Apr 7, 2019 at 9:08 PM UTC
I am having trouble holding on.
I am f a l l i n g
a p a r t .
My balance is out of place,
My vision distorted.
Where are you?
Jul 21, 2018
Jul 21, 2018 at 12:01 AM UTC
a forceful action
an unprovoked violation
aggression hiding away a fool's pain
brought back only by a sleeping inhalation
like a child
putting shapes into a box
forcefully slamming the two pieces together
screaming at an uncaring world
what you don't understand
these pieces, are my only hope
they're the correct shapes
nothing is wrong
they're perfect
but they don't fit
like a bride
when she stumbles upon her gown
an unnerving frustration
fate playing some kind of game
it's perfect but it doesn't fit
you're perfect
Feb 4, 2018
Feb 4, 2018 at 6:17 PM UTC