#newbie
”Where is home ?
Is it where I'm growing, living, sleeping ?
Where im travelling ?
Where im working ?
Or maybe hoping to live in ?
I couldn’t get the answer until I found that home,
It is not necessarily a house,
But it is something, someone, you feel safe with, good with, happy with.
It is okay to change of home,
For me sometimes my home is my book, then my home is my music, Then my home are my friends and often,
My home is simply silence."
May 8
May 8, 2026 at 11:38 AM UTC
”I was questioned,
Why do I write poetry ?
Is it to express my feelings,
Express the deepest pit of myself that i can’t tell out loud,
or to find myself in a maze that we call life.
It may even be to entertain myself and for fun,
or maybe out of boredom.
After reviewing my thoughts and studied my opinion,
I came to the conclusion that..
I myself still don’t know.
Maybe i don’t want to know,
Maybe one day I will,
Maybe I never will,
Maybe you know and i don’t.
But who cares,
As long as my brain still questions the world and it’s people,
As long as my hands still write words in an order to make them delightful,
And as long as my heart still beats,
I will write over and over,
And nobody can ever stop me, not even me”
May 8
May 8, 2026 at 5:19 AM UTC
Winter has pried its way into the depths
Sinking chilled claws into subcutaneous layers,
Penetrating spaces harboring vital warmth
Diminishing lively promises
Objects surrounding me are chilled
Inflexible, they seem
Bothered by any attempt of motion
Complaining with creeks and cracks
All in agreement
Descend further,
Permanently frozen fixtures
Something needs to be done
Slide open a frosty drawer,
Revealing an empowered wand
Electric arc lighter
Magically USB C charged
Two discs, behind a cast iron cage
Lie in wait, ready to emanate sun like fury
Arc sparks gas rolling through a slithering line
Blue flames erupt, heat tumbles upwards
Above, hands rub and roll first
Then a kiss to the face
Put a fan on high to circulate
Opposing forces engaged
Zero degree weather, living inside a van
Elements reign, they remind
Whose who & what's what
Trying to survive
Jan 29
Jan 29, 2026 at 10:14 AM UTC
Are you blind? Can you not see?
I do this **** without a thought
I do this **** so effort
Less - ly
Like an old man
sittin in his rockin chair
Sippin on some green - tea
Like I'm speedin down
The highway just free to be - me
Can you not see? Writings like an ***** and it functions like a heart - beat
Boom boom - strap your ***** in and find a comfy *** - seat
Boom boom - my writings all be formin when I'm walkin down the **** street
Boom boom - Ima be lol'in as my fans line up - boom boom - for a meet n greet.
Do you finally - see?
Its like a mean grean hulkish transformation Ima straight beast.
I be smashing competition like
Michael Jordan - its a straight feast.
Hulk smash! Its a fine treat.
I be swishing all my buckets as they
All be kissin my - feet
It all comes without a thought and
Comes very natural- ly
like a virus - coursing through my veins like a musical dis - sease
Ima sneeze... Achoo!
And pass it onto others - as much as I - please. ***** freeze!
Ima infect the world with my
Musical. - ******
Now that I've laid my piece
While sippin on some green tea
While ridin so free
I hope you finally - see -
Ima straight beast.
Peace!
😂
Oct 25, 2020
Oct 25, 2020 at 3:03 PM UTC
Small, weightless forms
Yet striking with such force
Be it blood, rain or something else
Little drops carry so much
So much meaning, the small drops
Be it us, be it the world
The droplets of this earth
They are what makes it work
They're the substance of it all
Little bricks that build our reality
For us to be whoever we want
Or anything, in actuality
It's all those small details
That bring us closer
For at the core of our souls
We are just many, many droplets.
Oct 20, 2020
Oct 20, 2020 at 7:54 PM UTC
My life train is passing through,
Many stations.
I don't know what exactly but they have some kind,
Of temptation.
May be one of them is,
My destination.
Regarding my feelings I really have,
No explanations.
Sep 26, 2020
Sep 26, 2020 at 2:28 AM UTC
I've seen you smile with pain in your heart
Watched you fall,
Crash to the bottom
And crawl your way back to the top
You're stronger than you think
Every day is a new beginning,
A new page, a clean slate
A chance begin anew, start afresh,
To get it right
I want you to taste life like it's new
Let the sun remind you
That life is beautiful every day
Let the rainbow bring colours of laughter to you
Embrace the gift of life
Cherish the blessings that guides you
And may you only know
Hope that makes you dream
Failure that brings you success,
Success that brings you joy
Friends that makes you laugh
Passion that makes you live
And love that makes you love more.
Aug 19, 2020
Aug 19, 2020 at 6:44 PM UTC
you.
you became
from the 1,999,999.
so despite what it may seem—
you are a rarity,
a true force of nature.
out of 1,999,999
you were the one which
remained:
the one who overcame.
your emergence itself was a miracle—
so how could your existence now be any less?
Jun 11, 2019
Jun 11, 2019 at 3:05 AM UTC
I remember the moment
I knew they were watching—
the moment they became of thin air.
but who were they?
our mothers?
our sisters?
our friends?
could they be everything
wrapped up in one?
so from that moment forward
I lived in a fear
of them staring & spying—
judging every last move.
will they always be watching?
god, please say they won’t.
Jun 11, 2019
Jun 11, 2019 at 3:07 AM UTC
my body is sanctuary—
my body is built of stone.
my body is always with me—
why im never alone.
and while it may be
a part of me,
this place is not my home.
this structure of bone and
mysterious matter is truly nothing
but a place to house my mindless chatter.
the rest is but dust,
taking up space to prove I exist—
to show i am more than my madness.
I am a heartbeat,
a brain wave,
a breath.
I am a sister,
a daughter,
a friend.
but I live in a body that
is not my own—
this is not my home and
therefore I may roam.
Jun 11, 2019
Jun 11, 2019 at 3:00 AM UTC
the newbie failure complex(ity)
the poems come torrentially,
hurricane, waterfall & tornado are working adjectives
worthy of the task, yet unequal to the unlimited army
of the written dead of unread poems and poets
that occupy the nether of blog, podcast, and poetry sites,
orphan stars in the un-salvaged junkyard galaxy of verbiage
a faceless wight, once alive, now permanently dead,
we shuffle march, chanting each our own newbie poem,
onward soldiers to ignominy and glory so fleeting,
we are forgot before we are remembered
*this is life in poetry,
or better yet,
the worst of it, (sigh)
this is the poetry of lives*
all for nought,
nought for all,
at least we pass our prison time
in the company of fellow strugglers*
May 13, 2019
May 13, 2019 at 5:44 PM UTC
Feelings spilled on the moonlit paper
Heart on her sleeve holding it tighter
Pitter patter of heartbeats
Her favorite sound in her playlist
Wide awake under the blue ceiling
Another night with overflowing feelings
It's time to create artwork in silence
Where everything seems to make sense
Bleeding pen on her hand and memories in head
She’ll write before her feelings gradually fade
She's a fighter just to win her life
A believer of "Maybe soon everything will be fine"
Sep 30, 2018
Sep 30, 2018 at 1:23 PM UTC
It’s already 3 in the morning
My eyes are still wide open
I’m not even yawning
I’m not even doing anything
Staring on the ceiling
Right there I saw my world crashing
Right there I saw myself drowning
Right there all I want is sleeping
Sleeping and never waking.
Sadness lingering around my body paired with the emptiness that wasn’t evident if you saw me,
It’s here, right inside this ugly mediocre body.
I beat myself every night,
Thinking is tomorrow really worth to survive?
My day goes by “yes I’m fine” when it’s actually “help me, I’m dying inside”
All I could ever think is to die
Dying fascinates and scares me at the time
Questions began to arise,
“It wouldn’t hurt that much if I leave everything in this world behind, right?”
It’s so unusual that one day you feel nothing,
And then the next couple day suprise, you feel everything
And when I think everything’s okay
There someone somewhere saying “something’s wrong today”
You think this is the day you can justify you’re definitely happy
Only to realize that later at night in the four corners of your room you’re incredibly lonely and empty.
And to be honest I don’t know why I feel this way,
One thing I know for sure there was missing inside me,
I couldn’t possibly pin point what could it be,
So I’m trying to fill it with thousands of possibility,
I ask myself “Am I going to be like this day by day?”
I never understood myself then,
Was there something wrong with me?
Was I over reacting?
Or this is really the real me slowly unraveling?
I couldn’t tell anyone what I feel
putting my feelings into words is so much to deal
But then I tried,
I tried telling them I’m dead tired.
And only to get “It’s all in your mind.”
They would say be positive
Or look on the bright side
I hope it’s that easy,
But it’s not, right now my mind is way way messy.
And how I wish I could control what I think,
And when a toxic negative thought felt like coming,
I could let it go away in just a blink.
But it’s not.
It doesn’t go that way.
I’m crying each night, crippling my own heart.
To the situations I am trying to brush away so hard.
I’m maybe the one to blame.
For the thoughts that hardly keep me sane.
And then one day I get used to feeling not okay.
I get used to the hole living inside
To the devil that’s speaking in my mind.
And lastly, I get used to telling people I’m wonderfully fine.
But I couldn’t help but to hope
Hope that one day
All of these ******** would go away,
hope to go back to the old me,
Positive, spontaneous, happy and carefree.
Sep 27, 2018
Sep 27, 2018 at 8:43 AM UTC
You cannot create a monster
and then condemn it
hate its ugly features
it’s terrible gait
You cannot be afraid
to look into it’s cold eyes
touch it’s rough skin
or feel it’s hot breath
You must face the consequences
Because
when I look into the mirror
I do not see myself
but all of what you’ve made me
I see pale skin
and bruised lips
and bloodied knuckles
and a demonish grin
I see a monster
ready to do monstrous things.”
Sep 21, 2018
Sep 21, 2018 at 7:50 AM UTC
all my life
i've been preparing faces
to meet the faces that
i've met
friends
family
the man who delivers newspapers
at our doorstep each morning
i've laughed at their silly jokes
as they tossed their heads from side to side
in naive stupidity and their sheer ignorance
a pompous lot, the human race i tell you
i've acknowledged their staunch morals
and tried to make them my own
as they scorned at the girl in a skimpy dress
and chewed on mutton bones gluttonously
all my life, i've been trying hard
to blend in
with people who've shown me
that i don't belong with them
and tonight when i shed gallons of tears
i have only my bed and pillow to share
i've learnt that my sadness
is my very own
Sep 5, 2018
Sep 5, 2018 at 2:30 PM UTC
as he stood brave, staring, into the eyes of death 'are you not afraid ?' asked death.
smiling, he replied,
'do you see fear in my eyes ?
it's not death i fear, it is the living.
it's not oblivion i fear, it is the remembrance.'
as the fog lifted,
as he found himself to be stranded on this rock again,
his arrogant smile was no more to be seen,
his eyes were no longer fearless.
Jul 24, 2018
Jul 24, 2018 at 7:51 AM UTC
Stars sparkle in the dark
Like when I look into your eyes
but now its just darkness.
Jun 27, 2018
Jun 27, 2018 at 6:30 AM UTC
I met a person, who’m at first glance I can tell
That I love the way she talks and how her hair smells
As days went by I just couldn’t resist
I told her how I felt, “Thank God you exist”
“I’m sorry”, she replied. “We could still be friends”
“For if we trully fell for each other, it wouldn’t be a happy end”
May 2, 2018
May 2, 2018 at 2:25 AM UTC
Hello there, you're a new face
Hello there, I see that you'll be taking my place
Fix their problems and lick their wounds
Keep their memories of me out of sight
as I'll be the reason they cry each night
Hello there,do me this favor
Let the love for me waver.
Feb 6, 2018
Feb 6, 2018 at 11:45 AM UTC
this bridge between us
built of kerosene
and you;
you were holding
a ******* candle
i got love for you
even if youre doubting me
i was trying to get to you
but you lit up the bridge
you watched me burn
and turned into ashes
all these words meant nothing
and you've always been this heartless
stabbing knives of deceit
behind my back
taking a part of myself
and set me on fire
Jan 24, 2018
Jan 24, 2018 at 7:48 PM UTC
Fairy tales and fantasies are someone's cause of happiness,
Happiness that can't be seen in reality,
Reality that we want to escape,
To escape just to feel faux happiness.
Nov 29, 2017
Nov 29, 2017 at 6:20 PM UTC
I am lost in a world where griffins fly and the faries flutter through the trees,
I am lost in a world where mermaids inhabit the lake,
where dragons are curled around mountains and magic is complete real
I am lost in a world where I am free, a prince/ss that does not need saving because I have saved myself
I am lost in my own mind,
so please, do not disturb
Oct 5, 2017
Oct 5, 2017 at 12:12 PM UTC
her touch was soft,
mapping out the constellations of freckles on his shoulders and back,
pale skin,
blue eyes and golden hair against the dark sheets of the bed,
words of honey left her lips,
spreading warmth throughout his body,
she was the sun he had been chasing for years,
too bad eclipses only last for a few brief moments.
Oct 5, 2017
Oct 5, 2017 at 12:22 PM UTC