#nayokenzarobynoliver
A Visceral Collection Of Thoughts: Genevieve of the Deep
24/2/15
10:52
"What if we could be like this forever?"
She asked, right before daylight broke through the window.
Her gaze fixated up on his lips
As they were draped in dawn.
He tried his hardest to answer her
Sincerely
In between yawns
"What if we were willing?" Came out from his mouth
As she anxiously read each word.
"We can't control the winds of time, no more than we can control the depths of the mind.
Just slow down so I can be with you.
The more time we spend the less we save."
She sat up, letting the sheets fall to her navel,
Tears welling up,
Her heart racing with every gulp.
She looked at him
With a glance of which to read he was unable.
"I wonder if you'll miss me as I already miss you."
20/2/15
9:59
On a train
Racing through the night
She feels as if her life is being
Led in black and white
Monochrome
Distractions
From colourful
Would- bes
Could- bes
Maybes
And disillusions.
Glancing down at her lap
Upon it, the note from him
This is a plunge she's not ready to take
But his is a heart she's not ready to break.
On a train racing through the night
She's distraught
Between a decision concerning wrong and right
Which path to take
Whose heart to break
A union so encouraged
Yet, such a risk to take.
What would she become
If she were to take on his name?
Would her loss be soothed by potential gains?
On a train racing through
The night
Her mind wonders off to the shore outside
Her heart floats along the coast
Ready to set out with the tide
12:12
He longed for her
For reasons he knew not.
He longed for her
For reasons she knew not,
Yet he made her the most
Distraught
She had been in her whole life.
Time escaped her
As he called on her.
Her choices seemed to have been made for her.
Her family's blessing
Her hand to be given away
All for the sake of a name.
He longed for her
For reasons he knew not.
She longed for another
And sure of his feelings she was not.
Was this to be what her life was to become?
Was she to settle with someone else who wasn't the one?
25/2/15
20:00
A single rose
Awaits her
In a vase by the vanity.
She sits,
Staring into the mirror.
Three days prior
To a life changing ceremony
Built upon disparity.
A single rose
Awaits her
In a vase by the vanity.
Her thoughts flood with memories of them.
One she loved for sure
In spite of his heart being unsure
And the one who longed for her
Yet she didn't love him
And of this she was sure.
A single rose
Awaits her
In a vase by the vanity
Dripping in money, name, and social standing.
A rose from a good family,
However many thorns.
A thorn for each month of courtship,
Only 3 at that.
A whirl wind affair,
Her own private hell, dressed up as a grandiose affair.
A realisation that all families have thorns.
However, she was determined to pick and choose.
Thorns can be worth the pain if you let go of that which you hope to lose.
She knew this rose was solely meant to wilt before her eyes and she'd only have thorns.
A single rose
Awaits her in a vase by the vanity.
To her left,
From the balcony,
The ocean calls her name softly.
A single rose
Awaits her in a vase by the vanity.
Suddenly,
She gives into a rush of insanity.
13/3/15
10:11
She ran
Fleeing down the stairs
One after another.
She ran
As if all of her troubles
Were to vanish under the soles of her feet.
Knowing not where she was going
She descended down the spiral staircase.
No time for shoes,
No time for make up
No time for her hair.
She ran
Right out the door
Tired of wondering if there could be more.
She ran and ran
Until she reached the shore,
She could no longer deny the beckoning of the waves anymore.
18/2/15
12:13
Submerged,
Submerged,
Submerged.
She pulled up her dress and walked in
This wouldn't be the last of her
This wouldn't be how it ends
But somehow this wouldn't be the start of anything either
Bubbles of air escaped as she descended deeper and deeper
Visions of the past escaped
And she plunged further and further
Soon the world around her fell to hues black and of gray
As she let the world around her slip away
Submerged,
Submerged,
Submerged.
That's all she had ever been for an age.
Galaxies sprung to life and died around her.
All while Her white dress shimmered akin to the tears of those who knew her
And yet she was still submerged.
She watched as time went by
Forlonging the hand that Life held out to her
Disregarding the embrace Death longed to bestow upon her.
Frozen by her fear
Yet illuminated by her passion.
It was never the right time for her
11:10
"Waste away with me"
She awoke
At the bottom of the sea.
"Waste away with me"
Finally grasping the time she had eluded for an eternity.
She wondered how could anything have remained the same
For those above her on the shore,
For those who hadn't made such brash decisions
Leaving all they knew behind
In order to buy an ungodly amount of time.
"Waste away with me"
She was still submerged
In the arms of Davy Jones.
"Waste away with me"
Could she ever really return home?
Back to the love from which she fled,
Back to the dawn drenched sheets, the one mourning in bed, asking her honest love, one true,
If he were willing to spend a lifetime, no longer as one, but as two.
"Waste away with me"
The voice called to her again.
She rose to her feet,
Looking to the water above her.
Her eyes had never shown as bright
As they did in these depths, this night.
Pulling on her white dress at the sides
She ascended up and out to the tides.
The waves washed away beneath her bare feet in the night.
She breathed in the ocean air
High above the sea
Glancing upon the forgone lights of her city
Balling her hands into fists
As she took in the night air
Howling around her.
"Waste away with me"
The voice called out to her again
As she flew towards the shore.
25/2/15
12:24
Soaring
Above the town
As the waves beckoned to her
Searching in the night
For the love that had escaped her.
Where would there be any trace?
How much time had passed?
Where had the years gone?
Soaring above the town
As the waves beckoned to her.
She flew as if it were something she easily knew how to do.
Her shimmering white dress fluttered
In the wind.
Her haunting, howling mane swirled around her head.
Her eyes, now blue as the seas, pierced brightly through the night,
Yet she was still unable to find,
The man
That she loved for all this time.
Soaring above the town
As the waves beckoned to her
She caught glimpse of a cemetery
And began her descent down.
Jun 23, 2015
Jun 23, 2015 at 12:23 AM UTC
sometimes you have to accept
that you just can't sleep
as the memories begin to creep
and trickle into your heart
reminding you of company
you still long to keep
Jun 10, 2015
Jun 10, 2015 at 1:04 AM UTC
“It’s cool.”
I say,
Under my breath.
“No big deal.”
I mutter, though no one is left.
But in reality,
What if I built you up,
To an expectation
To which you couldn’t live up?
I reckon that’s not fair
To you.
So in all actuality,
“It’s no big deal.”
I just gotta get over you.
Jun 3, 2015
Jun 3, 2015 at 4:37 AM UTC
let go of your demons
but embrace them as they leave.
life goes through seasons,
this is simply the colour changing of
the leaves.
Jun 10, 2015
Jun 10, 2015 at 1:11 AM UTC
Honestly?
I just want to hold your hand
As we drift into sleep.
I want your face to be
The first thing I see
As we wake in the morning.
I want to see you at
Your best and your worst
I want to spend all
Of my time
With you.
And I want that to be something
That you want too.
I want you in a way
That probably isn’t
Completely fair.
I want you to lay your
Head on my chest
As I run my fingers
through your hair.
I want it to be us,
And
The world out there.
Outside my window
There’s nothing for us.
Even though you won’t see it,
Your smile makes me blush.
I want you in a way,
I know I can’t have.
Because, ultimately,
I’ve realised,
It’s your love I can’t have.
Because in all actuality,
You’d never want me
This bad.
Jun 3, 2015
Jun 3, 2015 at 4:38 AM UTC
I write the words
That I’m too afraid
To say.
Knowing full well
That you’ll read
Them someday.
Jun 3, 2015
Jun 3, 2015 at 4:22 AM UTC
And in this moment
I am infinite.
So you’d think I’d
Bend because
We were intimate?
I was curious to find
Your intent.
What could you gain
From my attention?
There are galaxies
And eons growing inside
Of me.
A darkness
With emoceans
Deeper than the seven seas.
I’m cutting my chains.
Far from you.
I’m setting myself free.
Jun 10, 2015
Jun 10, 2015 at 1:13 AM UTC
you've never loved if you've yet to
wish upon a star.
forget your pride,
give her the sun, moon, stars,
and your all.
Jun 10, 2015
Jun 10, 2015 at 1:09 AM UTC