#nan
Cured salmon glistening
between thick seeded slices.
Three plump tomatoes.
Like castle guards.
I watch in awe:
my toes poke through
knitted holes in the
blanket, fleshy moles.
Nan pushes in The
Thornbirds VHS and
she rambles about
the birds going west.
She says: ‘I’m glad
I can stay here and
not fly anywhere.’
cosy and safe.
Nan places another fleece
blanket on me. We drink
dark hot cocoa and
watch birds from the sofa
Nov 28, 2020
Nov 28, 2020 at 11:26 AM UTC
i’m the man who’s gonna wake up next to you
slipping away, a non-starter, her leg crosses over mine,
a right sided shakedown shackle, adhesion flesh as
tough as old yellowed scotch tape sticking stuck
no escaping, a known 6:00am risk when you sleep with
a pre-advertised holy roller, twist and turner woman,
making you into an unofficial woe-man (too)
left hand grabs the lamenting instrument, the beat up iPad,
to record your enslavement, a distraction from the bladder’s
faint morn winking at you with a Cheshire grin, muffling a
chuckle, at a predicament wonderful familiar, but unresolvable
this situation, a category of life’s small measure of annoyances,
invokes the wordy title, and a write-down list of pluses and minuses,
which I’ll spare which o’witch be the longer list
poems are where you find them, under your nose,
looking out a city bus window, but sometimes like flypaper,
they just come unasked and stick to you, the separating of the skin,
like a too tight bandaid, ain’t worth the pain and freedom gained
later, share this missive and her suggestion, she will prepare an
NDA (a non-disclosure agreement) or adopt other strategies like
pushing me out of the bed without warning when i am typing ,
to witch and to wit, reply,
ah!
another poem commissioned, and
*perhaps, name change too, needed,
making love in the morning*
12/14/19
Dec 14, 2019
Dec 14, 2019 at 1:40 PM UTC
Epitaph
How do you grieve the loss of a loved one?
How can you possibly be expected to carry on?
How do you cope when a loved one is hurting?
How do you cope with the loss of your Mom?
You remember the good times you spent together;
You remember the times you laughed and cried.
You remember your loved one always, forever;
You forget the fact your loved one has died.
They wouldn’t want to see you sad;
They would want to see you laugh.
They wouldn’t want you to suffer in silence;
Remember their love, for it is the best you will ever have.
So goodbye Nan,
Goodbye Mom,
Goodbye Friend,
Goodbye my loved one.
(C)2013 Aa Harvey. All Rights Reserved.
Aug 27, 2018
Aug 27, 2018 at 7:25 AM UTC
Mothers shouldn’t cry.
Hello Nan, I’m sorry I wasn’t there enough.
I miss you; God how I miss your love.
I try and try, but I just mess things up;
My heads becoming unglued, how do I carry on?
It’s all over the place, what’s forward or back?
Confusion falls all around us, what’s up with my head?
This can’t be real, come on your having a laugh;
I must be dreaming, am I still in bed?
It’s no dream, it’s the truth. She’s dead and she’s gone;
She’s floating up above, to Heaven; her new home.
She’s been there all your life, from the moment you were born;
But she won’t be there to comfort you,
Through the grieving my Son.
Remember her best moments,
Like her cooking when you came home;
Remember the good times, not just this bad moment.
Remember the things, she taught us about life;
Remember her loving you, when you were just a child.
Always wanting the best for you,
But disappointed when we failed.
She could get angry sometimes,
But she could also make us smile.
You were like the Godfather, or Godmother of the family.
Without your guidance, where will we be?
Lost and confused, not really believing this is real;
Being forced to accept that you are not here; this is surreal.
I thought you’d live forever. Not you; you can’t go;
Seeing all my life in an instant,
Wishing you were here for your Grandson.
Like you always have been, the permanent star.
Guiding us, leading the way for us;
Shining brightest for us all.
(C)2013 Aa Harvey. All Rights Reserved.
Aug 13, 2018
Aug 13, 2018 at 6:40 AM UTC
It’s a hateful love.
As I see them head over, prepared to be bored and depressed.But it’s not hate to her, it’s hate for her condition.Despite the sighs and groans,We are caring and praying for salvation.
We wish to return her energy,
Give her a skateboard, a boom box, rocket boots to blast through sunny streets and laugh as the wind frazzles her silver twizzles.
Alas they sigh, but I never will.
I still remember being in wonderland.
Every meal a banquet.
From hand labelled tins of sweetness
Which have made 1950s adverts just as nostalgic to me.
Get off the ice floe,
Your blanket and water bottle are ready,
As I give one more hug.
Aug 2, 2018
Aug 2, 2018 at 6:04 AM UTC
I was sitting on the edge of your hospital bed,
thinking about my mother, your daughter,
and whether the smile she was masking the pain with would falter;
when the jagged rhythm of your breath had altered
I jumped to my feet, and let my mother take my place
as we listened to gasps of breath change the pace.
The nurse said it was normal that you couldn't feel any pain
but it was the sound of your death that I was scared we'd retain
I stood in the corner watching my uncle and mother create a wall with their figures,
as if them looking away would put a hand on the trigger
After 10 minutes your breathing got quiet, so quiet we thought you were gone
Then with the whoosh of your lungs, louder than before, it was like you were saying "so long!"
The silence replaced it, I still stood in the corner and noticed that no one had moved,
As if a moment so final needed it's minute to say goodbye to the body it used.
Nov 28, 2017
Nov 28, 2017 at 7:28 PM UTC
time to say goodbye, they say
ten years and counting—
eleven after May
you never get over the loved ones you lose
the pain just fades a little,
like the bump leaving the bruise
you're a scar on my broken heart,
permanent and painful
but i love you like art
time to say goodbye, they said
nearly eleven years
nana, why'd you have to be dead?
they told me to move on so gouge out my eyes,
I'm tired of being subjected
to seeing a world where you're not alive
May 11, 2017
May 11, 2017 at 1:06 AM UTC
You.
You who taught me love and kindness and hope
and knitting and optimism and forgiveness and baking.
Yet you were also my first loss.
You taught me grief and how nothing stays the same.
Even a mind can deteriorate so much I wonder it makes me wonder if
you ever were so good.
Maybe I just exaggerate. Because you aren't here to prove me wrong or disappoint me.
But how could anyone have been so good?
But even if I was looking at you through the rose tinted glasses of youth
I refuse to tarnish my opinion of you
I will keep these glasses forever
I insist.You taught me all this and more.
Because of you I visit grandad more
to remind me of what
I lost
and a reminder to appreciate what I still have.
That house will always remind me of you
I hope that is ok.
Nov 12, 2016
Nov 12, 2016 at 5:55 PM UTC
Tender oversized hugs made of never ending love.
A broad smile bought belly laughs time and time again.
Aching cheeks from a dose of over indulged happiness.
Always larger than life.
Life and soul.
Our life and soul.
Deep set wrinkles from a lifetime of worry.
Never stopping to rest.
Fussing here pampering there.
Your selflessness and determintion to enjoy life knew no bounds.
You enjoyed the next generation of
the family as much as the last.
No longer disabled and heaven
rejoices at the return of an angel.
The last of your generation.
Reunited with long lost relatives.
We feel your love Nan
We always have.
We always will.
Till we meet again....
Good night
and
God Bless.
X
Mar 17, 2016
Mar 17, 2016 at 4:52 PM UTC
You are the water to my seed,
you push me to grow, blossom and succeed.
You are the hope whispering in my ear
when my despair is growing near.
You are a superhero in disguise and inspire me
to become a strong independent woman and be the best I can be,
I hope that when I'm older I'm even half as remarkable as you are -
you are the most supportive, caring, beautiful person I know by far.
You are so special to me and every day we spend together is so sublime,
and no amount of seconds, minutes, hours, days, weeks, months or years with you will be enough time.
And out of all the grandparents in this universe so divine,
I'm so glad that you got to be mine.
Dec 9, 2015
Dec 9, 2015 at 7:27 AM UTC