#myvoice
I smile and laugh so people see
The easy, simple side of me.
But deep inside there's more to show,
A hidden heart they never know.
I wish that someone understood
The quiet pain beneath my good
And saw the parts I try to hide
That live so softly deep inside.
I don't need much, just someone near
Who sees my truth and stays right here
Someone who looks at me alone
And finally knows the real me... known
Mar 8
Mar 8, 2026 at 5:59 PM UTC
They say “use your voice”
What they don’t realize is that my voice is deep within my stomach
And I cannot find it
How can I find the words to explain what I’ve been through
And how I’m feeling when I’m in fear
Fearing I’d only be laughed at
Being afraid that nobody would believe me
And only believe my abuser
How can I compete with someone who is far much older than me
Because I’m just a “child who doesn’t know what she’s talking about”
So the only friend I have is my silence
Because she understands everything I’m going through
And I don’t have to say a word to her
Jun 8, 2020
Jun 8, 2020 at 2:13 AM UTC
So I ain't quite in the box,
If you have children,
If you have a puppy,
If you, if you, if you.
I have my own stuff,
Maybe I need to find my voice,
Maybe I need to not read others,
I'm sick of it.
Sick of not finding where I fit in.
Not finding the so called box.
Apr 17, 2020
Apr 17, 2020 at 5:59 PM UTC
I want to speak
I want to say hello
I want to say I love you and I always have
I want to tell you I keep going in hopes that one day
I might really know you
I want to tell you how even though you are human,
Somehow, you are perfection
I want to say I'll be there for you when no one else is
I'd love to tell you death is a small price to pay
To see you smile
But instead I tell you nothing at all
Because my voice,
My voice is a toxin
That freezes hearts
And when I speak
The toxin pierces my lips
And I am helpless to stop it
It wouldn't matter what I'd say
My voice would stab you as if it were a knife
And it would leave permanent scars
My voice would stain you with
All of the horrors that are me
So I'll keep those words to myself
And pray that you'll find someone
That can make you
Smile
Nov 11, 2017
Nov 11, 2017 at 2:56 PM UTC
I set up a place
to mourn,
like a Mother & her dead,
a deep & sacred peaceful bed,
she sleeps & she weeps,
beneath,
a vigilia soaking moon,
a flickering flame
of love snuffed out way too soon,
& boy that thing can really croon,
Death of a friendship,
& maybe romance,
gone in the wind,
we hadn't a chance,
or a last dance,
a last shooting star
came in cutting in deep
left a painful, poignant scar,
dug it down just a little bit too far,
put it on the shelf and put it in a jar,
You're shining,
& I'm the one who's endlessly whining,
because your light,
your light is ever shining so very bright,
shining, shining, shining,
a heart is ever-pining
Cuz' I sit 'neath the florescent light
that took my sweet & needed sight,
exposed to your external radiation,
composed in your internal frustration,
imposed by your nocturnal causation
& endless is the aggravation,
Wanting to glow & wanting to go,
wish that I didn't ever know,
that florescent ink, I stare & blink
Never stop to wonder & think,
Hey I'm burned, I'm blinded
you think I would be reminded,
you know I never really learned,
such star crossed lovers
never under starlit skies
& star kissed covers,
over me they hover,
hover
I got a million reasons to let you go
& ya you know,
ya know,
I should run for the hills
take some kinda pills,
lose every bit of my will,
I should just.....
walk away,
No I should never let you leave early
or stay, but anyway,
you come,
in lucent technology,
appear on the screen,
I think hold on, this must be a dream,
your not exactly what you might seem,
I know it's my voice, so yeah it's my choice,
& in its sound I do rejoice,
but I missed,
I missed,
as I kissed that passing tear,
but I've lived to fight another year,
as it travels here no more,
no, no more,
instead she's the one,
knocking,
waiting at your door
your door, your door,
hey knock, knock, knock,
tick tock tick tock I hear the clock,
ohhhhhh...oh, oh,
hey boy is anyone with you
tonight?
Cherie Nolan© 2016
Oct 26, 2016
Oct 26, 2016 at 3:24 PM UTC
maybe you can be my inspiration
my muse
cause God knows alone I'm useless
my backbone my strength
my focus
to make it home
to you
maybe
I'm just a dreamer
a believer
in humanity
in life
in you
in second chances
swimming with sharks
and biting back
just as hard
if not harder
for you
Aug 13, 2016
Aug 13, 2016 at 3:17 AM UTC
I can hear a voice in the distance
Echoing off the far corners of my mind
And with the intensity of thunder
It comes and it goes
And each time it gets louder
I try to run away
But
There is no escaping the storm
Trapped within my head
Agonizing torture
Unrelenting pain
The storm has risen
Less the rain
What have I've done God
God what have I've done
To receive such pain and punishment
Contemplating suicide
In search of a gun
If this is my hell
Then life isn't worth living
Flashes of the past
Lighting with a storm
Have spawned a tornado
And it's causing me great harm
Driving me mad
Driving me insane
Driving me to the edge
With gun
In hand
Aug 13, 2016
Aug 13, 2016 at 2:20 AM UTC
Togetherness
Embroiled
In the hearts
Of lovers
Forever
Stranded
On an island
Of love
Absent
Of
Malice
Attempts-
To ******
Their insecurities
Blanket illusions
Masking the effect
When love
Becomes lust
A race to nut
A
Cozy
Little
Lie
Aug 11, 2016
Aug 11, 2016 at 5:24 PM UTC
***** mixed
with a full moon twist
dry and on the rocks
keeps my tongue tide
and close to your ear
while you sexily sip Ciroc
we talk about this and that
and all the slick ****
that comes before ***
and God
that dress
the cause of my distress
killing me ******* softly
Abetted by light friendly caress
bordering the edges of
polite chatter
that sparkle in your eye
highlights a devilish glint
you lean closer
and whisper in my ear
I'm not ******* you tonight
smoke signals I've mastered
so between the lines I see
*****
*****
*****
bartender
another drink
please!
Aug 10, 2016
Aug 10, 2016 at 12:34 PM UTC
Never in my life
Have I've heard
Anything good
Escape your mouth
In regards to me
I am a **** stained smear
At the bottom of your loafers
Bird **** droppings atop
Your prized buntal brim
Your eyes for me
Holds no sparkle
Or joy or love
For that matter
Only contempt
At the thought
That I am your seed
You spit phlegm
In spite
Of my existence
A regurgitated reminder
Of you
There are no complexities
In truth of procreation
I am the
Mirrored continuance
Of your self-hate
At war with myself
In a battle
Where no one
The victor
Covered in
**** stained shame
A biblical ***
Resign
To live life
Shunned
At the bottom
Of your
Shiny
Brand
New
Shoes
Aug 9, 2016
Aug 9, 2016 at 12:22 PM UTC
Fragile flowers withering
The crumbling of innocence replaced,
By carnal knowledge of
Violence and death.
Abstract eroticism
Riot their vision
Like an hypnotic drug,
Smothering their existence
Aug 9, 2016
Aug 9, 2016 at 11:04 AM UTC
crickets don't chirp in hell
they burn
brighter than the fire
that fuels your scorn
feeding your anger
like cicadas at dawn
takes hold
and suffocate
subjugate spirits
until hearts are torn
love don't come easy
to a cold heart
or a misused
trampled on
abused heart
love is war
unpredictable
from the start
like the urgings of youth
grasping at straws
gasping at yet
another of life's
myriad illusions
lost
in a tabernacle of lies
love tossed aside
like schmatte
as if
God doesn't exist
who am I to love?
I can only die
Aug 9, 2016
Aug 9, 2016 at 9:44 AM UTC
She came as a breath of fresh air
As beautiful as
Morning Glory
Embraced by dew bathing
Epiphanic
Under a yawning sun
Gentle as a breeze
Her softness
My hallucinogen
I melt in her arms
Continuously
I am in awe of
Her beauty
Breathtaking
Delicate
Feminine
Black
Beautiful Melanin
I fell into her spell
With alacrity
Coffee Black no
Sugar no cream
My Queen
Envied and persecuted
Her essence
The epitome of strength
Like coffee Black no
Sugar no cream
My Queen
Aug 8, 2016
Aug 8, 2016 at 7:34 PM UTC
If I
can dream
a dream of dreams
where every scene serene
and the only sound I hear
is the sound of your laughter
sweeter than the air I breath
I would sleep until infinity
nap
til kingdom come succumbs
to my reality in its totality
vicariously
seeing you as I
see you
my most beautiful
angel
I would die
if not for fear
of suicide
just to be by your side
again
just the two of us
like in the beginning
to hold your hand
to touch your skin
to kiss your lips and
gaze into your eyes
and dream
of what the future
may bring
I didn't tell you
I love you that day
the day God decided to take
you away
from me
I was busy
distracted
just the thought of that
destroys me completely
so I sleep
and I dream of what
could have been
of what we had
I sleep
and I dream
for its where I find
peace
it's where
I find you
Aug 7, 2016
Aug 7, 2016 at 9:57 PM UTC
The sound was deafening
The earth griped groaned and grumbled
Beneath their feet
Seconds of mobocracy
Followed by
An eerie silence of confusion
Shock and awe
The sun sat high unnerving
As the dust settled
Exposing the grotesque macabre
That is now their reality
Tear trickled traces speckled with blood seared
Upon muddled faces covered of soot
Stood surreal against the carnage
Unabled to grasp what has happened
Trudges about in symbiotic aloofness
Slowly a crescendo of wails
A wretched affair
Sliced into the mid day air
Sending chills to all within ear
Sirens heard from the distance
Approaches quickly
Adding to the cacophony of sound
An orchestra of pain
Reminiscent of
Dante's Inferno
Rock rescuers to the core
Bodies strewn and dispensed
Lie unrecognizable
Young and old alike
For death does not discriminate
As neighbors extend helping hands
Black and white
Slowly the healing begins
We can breathe again
Live again
Trust again
For surely hate cannot be
Allowed to win
The outpouring of support was astronomical
The love felt was undeniable
People say I'm ideological
But love conquers hate
And that's
Indisputable
Aug 6, 2016
Aug 6, 2016 at 5:37 PM UTC
Tomorrows are for dreamers;
I suspect today I will sleep.
Aug 5, 2016
Aug 5, 2016 at 2:58 PM UTC
Wars
Pillage
Disease
Religion
Money
God
Soul
Attrition
Governments
Environment
Man
Condemn
Hope
Space
Future
Question
Abortion
Children
Hunger
Apathy
Mortgage
Empathy
Judaism
Catholicism
Islam
Baptist
Banks
Greed
Gluttony
Foreclosure
Black
White
Division
Impasse
Blind
Death
Legions
Secret
Collaborate
Destruction
Abscond
******
***
******
Jew
Fat
Skinny
Tall
Short
Ignorance
Intolerance
Hope
Hate
Love
Death
Poverty
Wealth
Displacement
Abstract
Reality
Agony
Distrust
Temperament
Conglomerate
Drugs
Pharmaceutics
Capitalist
Socialist
Fascist
Conformity
World
**********
Society
Downfall
Atrophy
Silent
Protest
Propagate
******
Life
Precious
Dream
Regress
Degenerate
Exfoliate
Human
Substance
Into
Nothing
Hell
On
Earth
Freedom
A
*******
Mockery
Aug 4, 2016
Aug 4, 2016 at 8:47 PM UTC
My dog barks incessantly
through the night
At ghouls and ghost
Only a dog's eye can sight
For I swear when I look
There's nothing to be seen
He barks at the wind
The trees and
All in between
He barks at me
When I come to see
What has him acting
So strangely
He barks at shadows
Cast by the moon
A shadow of his tail
Has him all swooned
He barks at cars noise and
Strangers in the night
He barks at every little thing
That cause him fright
He barks at the neighbors cat
At the neighbors fence
He sits and dispense
Of barking until spent
Breaths lap water then barks again
He barks a melody
That's well received it seems
For out of the night - the howling begins
Dogs and cats alike
They bark at the moon - they bark at each other
They bark at whatever gives
them pleasure
Aug 4, 2016
Aug 4, 2016 at 11:54 AM UTC
ripples on the lake
quiet reflections
a mallard takes flight
Aug 4, 2016
Aug 4, 2016 at 11:28 AM UTC
static energy
your kisses upon my flesh
killing me softly
Aug 3, 2016
Aug 3, 2016 at 4:26 PM UTC
I can savor
The taste of fear
Riding upon the wind
As turbulently
As your troubled mind
Seeks desperately
To understand the mortality of this moment
The life and death mechanics of reality
The realization
That we are to die
As evident of the staccato pant
Of your futile labour
Frivolous at best
Arouses a sense
Of ******* justice
Hard truths
Brought to bear witness of
Your infidelities
Your betrayal
Lies
Aborning of arsenic
Sputters froth
From your womb
Searing traces of bitterness
Cascades a corrupted truth
Transformed into an ugliness
That has become us
Two hearts that once beat as one
Cast fervently
Into a cold war
Unrelenting hatred
Reciprocated
Ricochet
Unmitigated threats
Wounds
That cannot be reprieved
How did we get here?
Do you even care-
To ponder the thought?
How
I once loved thee
A dream shattered
By the realization of now
But
The now I can live with
The thought of losing you I cannot
**** this relationship
Endure
I must
For the taste of you
Is the sake of me
My sustenance
I close my eyes
In perusal of happier times
When life was bearable
Abruptly
I'm jolted out of my reverie
By hilt of your scorn
Protruding from my chest
Animately
I touch
As if to confirm its legitimacy
A reason for its being
Overwhelmed by solemn peace
I collapse in passive supplication
And as she turns and walk away
Contemptuous
Of the final utterance
To flee my lips
I forgive you
I ponder
If she ever
Loved me at all
Aug 3, 2016
Aug 3, 2016 at 12:20 PM UTC
i awaken to breath
light kiss
upon my nape
the softness of your touch
electrifying our bodies
pumping life
into a new day
Aug 2, 2016
Aug 2, 2016 at 4:00 PM UTC
Salty tears
Slither like snakes in summer
Meandering moments of madness mused
Ratchet heart and rabid tongue retorts
Flimflam fluke fisticuffs fought
A mirrored mirage manically manifest
A parade of psychosis fevered pitch
Easy the embryo erased eternal
Gods grace given gone
Sanguine souls stand sequestered
A pitiful penitent they plead
A song of Solomon heralds
Cherubs on chariots
Carrying chalices crafted of gold
Seeks repentance refrained from sin
All souls suffer life myriad interpretations
And all
Must answer
In
The
End
Aug 2, 2016
Aug 2, 2016 at 10:21 AM UTC
hearts
as cold as sleet
beating frigidly
within a desolated cavity
a wasteland of remembrance
teetering on madness
echoes thoughts of insanity
where words
vitriolic at best
cuts deep
beneath the soul
a place
where beauty once lived
lay ugly and abandoned...
and as winter creeps
through cracks long forgotten
love
lies trampled in the madness
Aug 1, 2016
Aug 1, 2016 at 2:16 PM UTC
It hit you like a sucker punch
With eyes wide open
Like the door I walked out of
Leaving your heart broken
Emotions cast about
Useless as wasted tokens
For the fair has ended
And I'm tired of pretending
So cash in your sentiments
There's no saving for a rainy day
I would prefer when I'm gone
Not to even remember
Your
Face
Aug 1, 2016
Aug 1, 2016 at 2:04 PM UTC