#myfirst
We are still flowers blooming
From the old pear tree of ours.
We can’t see this gardening,
Too stubborn to look upon.
We’ve made mistakes when pruning
That we couldn’t appreciate,
Looking from the new, old spring
There are tools which were misplaced.
We thought that it would be ours,
The old pear tree didn’t last;
Its leaves left quicker each time,
How fools were we, we’re outcasts.
I thought of the old pear tree,
Maybe some compost would help,
But what’s pulled out of its roots
Has it worse to resurrect.
I still remember the day.
How we inserted the seed
Hoping it’d be for display,
Then, getting a weird breed.
Maybe that’s thanks to weirdness
Or of being passionless.
The thing is that all was gone,
The old pear tree just got drowned.
Much water for it alone
Not intentional, just did.
At first, I thought it was me,
“Had I fertilized over?”
Later was you obviously,
“Why did he ever bother?”
But that seemed, somehow, just wrong.
It was after that I saw.
We couldn’t take care of it,
Neither myself, nor you,
Just our bad inattention.
We both forgot about you.
I still like the old pear tree,
Even if it is fallen,
I know that it was the best,
That’s what is most important.
We thought we had yet to bloom,
But we never really did,
That’s why we never saw fruits
Of our giant, old pear tree.
Nov 8, 2024
Nov 8, 2024 at 12:35 PM UTC
Climbing those stairs to find you there, facing my fears with an inch of my insecurities. Pain doesn’t seem so bad when I’m with you, it’s sting lies beneath our skin like sweat from being at the third heaven. Dreams smell like colors of purple, red, & orange glazed over your body, the night isn’t as dark when you’re present because the moon is in the foreground of your face behind those pupils are memories of us I wish to relive not because we won’t share anymore but because love is too great a thought to forget. Mystery yielding. Frightened, illuminated, reborn, strengthened, trust (My First) I hoped to be protected by you like my father would have or maybe cherished like my brother did. But you gave me something else, poetry that was for me. Not the girl in the corner that knows she’s loved but me the one who sometimes doesn’t believe that I am. I hold onto your words like she held the hem of His garment but in this case He makes us whole. I feared you not because I thought you would harm me but because I knew I could fall in your arms and you’d catch me here I am thinking you’re not capable but somehow the pain of the past life dwindles in your eyes as I tilt my head back to see that smile, it pours in me like water from a well, washing the hurt with a stare. that God formed in you as a child. I know you’ve been seen as less than by those who wish they had what you possess,
I don’t see you as less than or too much of, but just enough to quench this sojourner’s search for truth, kind to the eyes is your countenance pure is your beat. Shoulder to the heat, ear to the street frightened to become one of them. Pursuing me with fear that I’ll leave not believing the trees are green breath escapes the one who runs too far, let curiosity be your bed and drape your body with this nitted blanket of affirmations from me to you. That was created by pieces of your heart. No I have not seen what you have but I have lived my struggle to the fullest and now I’m ready to embrace lit rooms with echos of your voice contorting my body to it’s tone moving this dancers hips to a tune she’s not familiar with, but then again danger seems safe with you. So I am safe with you
We aren’t apples and oranges we are the seeds of Him to be watered by hurt, disappointment, rejection, and love because when we blossom we will be a manifestation of HIS creation not a product of their discrimination.
Feb 2, 2019
Feb 2, 2019 at 2:36 PM UTC
Tell me, if loving you is healthy
Been holding my tongue full of worries
Nature's shades can be yellow, blue, or green
Please show me things I have never seen
I'm only asking for dominance, full of desire
You had your chance, I can now call you a liar
My hands cannot stop from writing you different poems
Afterall, I still wonder, will you read all of them?
All of these try-outs are a waste of time
It's all unworthy, was it because I'm out of time?
'Could see your sins and they are relentless
I know you're skilled, though I still think you're perfect
The options I've been dealt are done foolishly
These silly reasons are lowkey plain stupidity
So tell me, if loving you is healthy,
You can tell me the answer to stop and finish it with an advisory
Oct 20, 2017
Oct 20, 2017 at 6:31 AM UTC
Every time I step into a café
I look around, checking if a particular someone
is already there – sitting alone, with a book, lying on the table
But she’s never there. Not yesterday. Not today.
When I see her, I just wonder
How’s she doin’ – always seems to be fine
Always carrying that beautiful smile –
That’s when I start to blunder
Because I start to think, more than I should
Thinking that she’s my soul mate, she’s my lobster
that she’s the one I must be with. And I actually believe it.
I will be with her for good.
Now she’s in front of me, I can smell her perfume
but cannot grasp her hand. She does not look –
I don’t know if she knows what I know
that one day she’ll be the bride, and I the groom
And I’m thinking – ‘this is my chance -
I’m not gonna blow it’. The words are at the tip
of my tongue but can’t be uttered. I start to
think of all the nights we’ll spend in romance
She’s gone. I don’t see her anymore
Possibly she’s dating some other guy
I tell myself, it’s gonna be fine;
it’s just a crush. She’s probably a *****
I keep trying to get rid of these feeling
that now are no longer stranger to me
for I’ve loved a number of women – but this one
she’s different. I love her for no reason.
I realise I don’t want to move on but
be with her. Can’t give up. That is not something
a dinosaur would do. And I feel happy.
I feel complete. I feel driven, excitement in my gut.
If I do one day get her, I am sure
that I won’t let her go. But hold her
close to me, even on some breaks.
We’ll stay in a love that is pure.
Vowing that I will try and make you happy as much
as you make me, I’ll do anything for you
just to see you smile again
to which I smile again, with every touch.
Sitting alone, in a café, looking at a coffee bean
I remain wondering, if you’d get off a plane for me -
for us. If we’ll ever be.
If you’ll ever realise that you’re my Rachel Green.
Mar 2, 2017
Mar 2, 2017 at 12:00 AM UTC
You stole the smile from my eyes
My sight is dimmed
My heart is hardened from your lies
Now I know how big of a nothing I am
You took my innocence
And I’ve transformed into a dam
You better be careful I’m about to overflow
My emotions are rising
I don’t want to care, but it’s hard to let go
I can’t help it I still want you
You were my first
You’re in my DNA, but I want to be someone new
Jul 11, 2014
Jul 11, 2014 at 1:32 PM UTC