#mrm
pain from within is like a shot of lightning to the chest
that no one sees
but everyone hears
how were we to know that just because we see light
doesn't mean that
better times are coming
light stands for good but connotates putting the bad
out of our heads when
it just gives us a better view
Aug 21, 2020
Aug 21, 2020 at 10:09 AM UTC
blood isn't effective
because someday you'll run out.
we know this.
soak up sun instead
drench yourself in salt water
kick up dirt under your heels
let blades of grass slice open your back
then slice open your mind
it you let your pain come from elsewhere,
you'll have time to produce your own happiness
Aug 17, 2020
Aug 17, 2020 at 9:41 AM UTC
good can always come from bad
call me a hypocrite, but drowning causes life
and thinking causes death
let the water fill your head and void your
recesses of any toxicity that resides there
better to drown in the new than
to stay stuck in the old
and while rain waters can convert to
toxic waste, sometimes a weekly purge
is more than necessary
Aug 12, 2020
Aug 12, 2020 at 9:53 AM UTC
for shaking hands, i find a prudent remedy
is a rainy day
doctors recommend laying on the pavement
with your back pressed to the ground and
eyes closed, mouth open,
drinking in all the purity the sky
offers you
it is only then, in drowning,
that you will remember how to feel
alive
Jul 27, 2020
Jul 27, 2020 at 8:37 AM UTC
sometimes i find it's easier to stop trying to find
that specific blueprint in the back
of a drawer
and create a completely new one based on the
pieces i'm working on and think
outside the box
Jul 22, 2020
Jul 22, 2020 at 9:47 PM UTC
what are issues if not explosions?
i know most, myself included, prefer a slow burn, a quiet scorch,
but explosions are inevitable.
it's figuring out what to do with them and how to navigate them
that is the fun part
you can build so many things
from that amount of pieces
Jul 20, 2020
Jul 20, 2020 at 1:12 PM UTC
fire doesn't always burn out.
once it's there, it is always there.
it may not still be roaring, but embers have a way of incinerating you, just at a slower pace.
that's why i always keep a canister of gasoline handy-
you never know when you need to douse yourself to feel alive.
Jul 20, 2020
Jul 20, 2020 at 1:04 PM UTC
it doesn't hurt to lose skin against skin sensations?
maybe i'm extraordinary, but
aching hurts
and i ache constantly
Jul 20, 2020
Jul 20, 2020 at 12:42 PM UTC
that temptation for me didn't come in the form of drugs or alcohol but the intoxication of others
i admit i found solace in their lips and their hips and everything inbetween
but is it wrong to want lust when love has ****** you?
sometimes i leave my icebox open on accident and
it makes my house absolutely freezing
how come we have to pay
to turn down the heat
Jul 20, 2020
Jul 20, 2020 at 12:32 PM UTC
but the rust still remains.
between your fingers, in your hair, cracking across your lips and the birds you admire from your broken window.
did you ever stop to think that it made you appreciate being clean?
it's not as beautiful as silver, not as strong as titanium, not as effervescent as chrome.
it covers you head to toe and still you insist that you've moved on.
i see your true colors, and right now they're all varying shades of red.
what happened to you, what did you lose?
and what did you think i turned to?
*drugs and ******* money, i can hear the birds sing
maybe it's deliberate if it's lacking substance*
somehow that's not where i ended up but the birds are still tarnished and that honestly just makes me thankful for the temptations that gave me more than the color red
did you scrub yourself raw trying to burn the memories away?
can you still hear the birds?
Jul 20, 2020
Jul 20, 2020 at 10:10 AM UTC
if you visited my mind you'd find a lot of broken teacups,
glistening with the remnants of silver that pushed its way up my throat when i realized that i was alone again.
and if you wanted to look closer- watch your step, more shards- you might even find a glint of titanium somewhere. it started slowly, a taste for black without the need for sugar and cream, and grew.
it was so effortless once i let go of my wishes to continue to stay a purist, as my tastes grew from sharp and metallic to true and tough, because- a little to your left, careful- let's be honest, silver is beautiful but a facade.
and i can't help but wonder how things would have panned out if- let me move that for you, hold on- we had started out with black instead of sugary pretenses and swirling wishes to be bigger than we were.
because nothing is more tough than a black coffee. and when i lace mine with titanium, i realize that we could have been stronger.
what are you drinking now?
Jul 20, 2020
Jul 20, 2020 at 8:50 AM UTC
and the wandering continues through abandoned boathouses where we hung up our words at night
soaked to the bone in emotion and despair yet clinging to the hope that tomorrow would bring smoother tides
how could we have known that silver only lasts for so long before it tarnished, and inspiration is nothing if not fleeting?
the wood of the docks is decaying now, along with dreams had in years past that got tangled up in our lines before we ceased trying to cast them anywhere anymore.
but I still watch the sunset every night and wonder what would’ve happened if we had gotten into our boats and never looked back.
Jul 14, 2020
Jul 14, 2020 at 10:20 PM UTC
i miss writing hearts into my eyes
and drawing bombs over my heart
and dipping it all in silver,
claiming it came from my tongue
instead of from a paint can
did you ever think about
how we could have been as famous
as those burn outs that write
songs for girl groups with lyrics
talking about *** and heartbreak
when what we wrote about was
more real than the goosebumps
i got each time i pressed "post"?
i miss the vagueness, the inspiration
that flowed through me without
my even needing to try, just
sitting down at a keyboard and slamming
it against my forehead until songs
spilled out of it like silver
we were the best of poetry pen pals
that only looked to each other for
the words to say that guarded us
against the words said against us
when we got off our computers
write to me again?
Jun 19, 2020
Jun 19, 2020 at 11:26 AM UTC
The person who always
knows when something’s the matter
But doesn’t pry because time will tell
The beauty you hold
doesn’t just come from the outside
But It is flowing within
You have a kind heart that not everyone
Deserves to see but you show it to anyone
You think needs a pick me up
Everything you’d want in a best friend
Could be found in you
So I worry about you going away
I could never get tired of our late night talks
The ones where we just lay in the dark
Because I can tell you anything and everything
But as it turns out
Everyone has a different definition of forever
And I hate that I’m waiting to see what yours is
May 4, 2018
May 4, 2018 at 9:46 AM UTC