#misgender
i feel like i cant breathe
most of the time
maybe its the tight binder
on my ribs
maybe its the suffocating thoughts
that tell me im not good enough
maybe its all the stares
that i know are questioning my gender
i wish i could tell you it gets easier
every time someone calls me a girl
when im wearing all mens clothes, a binder, and short hair
but it doesnt
it gets worse
so much worse
no matter the effort i put in
how hard i try
to present as masculine as possible
at the point where i cant even
see anything feminine about myself anymore
im always seen as the thing
that will always break me down
sometimes i think
it would be easier to take it all back
say im a girl and dress like one
at least then
ill be seen as how im trying to
ill hide behind a mask
say im something that im not
because arent i doing that already?
saying im okay and that it doesnt matter
when someone calls me a girl?
putting on fake smile
and act like it doesnt feel
like someone took my spirit
and covered it
with the wrong color paint
i feel like i shouldnt be myself
most of the time
Mar 25, 2018
Mar 25, 2018 at 10:06 PM UTC