#middleschool
He was young—
too young for goodbye,
too young to be remembered
in past tense.
We were still learning lockers and schedules,
still believing life was something
that waited for us.
Nobody saw the signs.
Nobody but me.
The quiet heaviness,
the way his smile didn’t reach his eyes,
the way his jokes felt like cover
instead of laughter.
I didn’t know him best—
I just knew him enough.
I told someone.
I tried.
I said he wasn’t okay,
that it felt deeper than a bad week.
They said it would pass,
that he’d be fine.
I wanted to believe them.
A month later,
the world proved me wrong.
They called it an accident.
They gave it a softer name,
something easier to swallow.
But I knew.
And knowing has followed me ever since.
We were in middle school.
He had so much left—
years, choices, versions of himself
he never got to meet.
Every October 14th,
I write him a letter.
And his family, too.
Not because it fixes anything,
but because forgetting feels worse.
Because love doesn’t stop
just because someone is gone.
I used to think it was my fault.
That if I’d said it louder,
sooner,
better—
he’d still be here.
It took time to understand
that caring doesn’t always mean saving.
I still carry his name quietly,
still wish the world had listened.
But I know this now:
seeing him mattered.
Trying mattered.
And remembering him—
every single year—
still does.
Feb 3
Feb 3, 2026 at 10:50 AM UTC
The end of summer rains
Fall softly to the Earth.
God’s tears!
God’s gentle tears!
For the school bells call
The Lions of the school yard
And the Lambs must go too!
Jan 7
Jan 7, 2026 at 5:33 PM UTC
Music
It gets me through,
Hearing others express how i feel
Grief
Confusion
Relationships
Friendships
All those…
more.
Expressions being expressed
Doesn't work
I speak in crushed riddles
With cracks
And quick unprepared responses
That were shoved out because i haven't spoke in hours
excited for company
came off awkward
Just liked the feeling of a conversation
Life is like that
And music lets me communicate and exist
It's what i lean on
Dec 12, 2024
Dec 12, 2024 at 9:10 AM UTC
The bright light reflects
from my tear filled eyes
With countless vents
It is time to say goodbye
And I don’t reach out
My identity is a circus act
For those who find it amusing
I am not to overreact
Yet I am still self accusing
And I don’t reach out
I have to put up with more
Than anyone else
I have more to endure
In a world of parallels.
And I don’t reach out
I’m the human embodiment of Atlas
Holding up everything unfurled
But the sky isn’t just mine, alas
Not everyone is rivaled
And I reach out
Sep 21, 2024
Sep 21, 2024 at 4:13 PM UTC
The hallways are so crowded
With students like a school of fish
The Endless Sea of Knowledge
So easy to get swept away
Far from where you want to be
Your locker, your class, your connection of P.E.
The Endless Sea of Knowledge
The students absorb their studies,
Like a sponge from the sea
The Endless Sea of Knowledge
Knowledge is the key
To life above the sea
Out in the real world
Where we'll eventually be
So use your time wisely
While here in...
The Endless Sea of Knowledge
Feb 8, 2022
Feb 8, 2022 at 8:05 PM UTC
D&D books and pirate smiles
Our middle school crush has gone a thousand miles
Behind the band room kisses before class
Only your Stitch impressions could make me laugh
Late night phone calls and good morning texts
I love you like I’ve never loved the rest
Jun 17, 2020
Jun 17, 2020 at 1:52 AM UTC
His name is Carter
And he’s all alone
In school
At home
Even on the bus because
no one sits next to him,
(But I’ve made an attempt
To be his friend
But I can’t break free of the honesty
That he is extremely annoying
So I will leave him to himself
Whenever I can)
One day his bag was extra heavy
And I could see it
But I did not ask about it
To not let out the brutal honesty
At the end
That I really did not care
Except my mind went there
Courtesy of the news
And I looked at the shape
Which wasn’t outlined as a rifle
So I looked the other way without paying attention anymore
And when I knew my safety was not compromised
I did not care about why it was so heavy
I stood behind him in line when
His bag bumped against me and
I pushed it out of my face because
What a nuisance!
He turned around looking annoyed
and quite frankly I did not care about his feelings
Apr 3, 2020
Apr 3, 2020 at 9:22 PM UTC
8th grade, thirteen years old.
That’s me.
Has two close friends with depression
and can think of another seven in the grade who also do.
That’s me.
Knows three people who have attempted suicide,
five who have slit their wrists,
a girl who had such a bad panic attack
she almost died,
three people who have starved themselves.
That’s me.
Only knows these few struggles of a few people.
Knows there are probably countless more
thirteen
year
olds
who have to battle their own inner demons
on a daily basis.
Thanks God everyday
that she doesn’t know what these demons look like
and hopes she never has to.
That’s me.
Wishes she could just help take away her friends pain
but can’t because she doesn’t
have the slightest idea what it feels like
but she wishes she oh so wishes
that she could somehow
convince everyone that they matter
because they do
they all do.
She believes any person anywhere can and will
bring value to the world when given a chance
if only we could make them see that.
No one deserves to die!
That’s me.
8th grade, thirteen years old.
That’s me.
Nov 20, 2019
Nov 20, 2019 at 8:17 PM UTC
All alone.
Hidden from humanity
A lone ship on the sea
In the middle of the night.
In the dark
Without knowledge of the trends
Being an outcast until summer ends
Is it a calling or a lie?
Those hours
Spent crying at a pillow
Where has the world gone?
Where have I been?
Like a worm
I lurk below the ground
Awaiting the end
Of it all.
Oct 3, 2018
Oct 3, 2018 at 6:02 PM UTC
Laughter
Love
Joy
And Tears
Are all feelings I have felt throughout my 7th-grade year
The people I know
And the people I wished I didn’t know
Are all makers of my
Beautiful
Wonderful
Magical
And fabulous year
At Congress Middle School.
May 25, 2018
May 25, 2018 at 2:40 PM UTC
What is contained in those years prefacing our story?
Memory is a fickle thing-
Pieces of mine have been left in storm drains and deep closets
Give me what you can-
the frayed shoelaces from fifth grade and clip on ties from homecoming dances
We can trade these like baseball cards-
the patch of woods behind my childhood home for when you learned how to ride a bike
Could you spare the day you knew your mom would leave?
You can have the time I realized silence is tangible when you want company- it rests heavy on your chest as you sit alone at the table .
I take what we've traded and tuck it between my floorboards, in the panels of my walls, in my window frame
What was contained in those years before us is safe in my woodwork as you gift it to me
And the years to come will hold pieces of me
Apr 7, 2018
Apr 7, 2018 at 3:42 AM UTC
There is the one girl that speaks
And when she is at her peak
You sit and think about everything you missed
or the people who coexist
But its towards the end of her speech you’ll cry
Trust me you will never find out why
You might look back and realize
That every word she said was a lie.
-the one who spoke in sunsets
Then comes the one that thinks
She’ll think even when on the brink
Of mental insanity
Oh the humanity!
What will happen to her?
She only sees the blur
Of what her life could be
If only she were able to see
-the one who needs glasses
I felt bad for the invisible
The one who was never able
To make herself feel seen
Maybe I was just mean,
But no matter
She was only a scatter
Of what made a personality
Unfortunately, hers lacked finality.
-the one who I thought I knew
The one who felt
Was who I got dealt,
I saw her at my lunch table,
And wondered if she were stable.
Her eyes sparkled a delicate no.
She was always able to bestow
Emotions of what she wanted onto others,
She never was able to recover
Once they left out the front door
With her lying on the dance floor.
-the one I left on the dance floor
Finally, there is me,
For so long I was lost at sea
But I came back to shore
And Oh!, I just adore
What I have become!
I don’t want this to be done.
I refuse to go back to how I once was
Because
Lies I can never untell,
Because
I’ll never forgot my mother’s face
Because that was never who I wanted to be
And all three years were agony.
-the poet who wished for better
Mar 31, 2018
Mar 31, 2018 at 11:09 AM UTC
By the time you're 11
And in middle school
The pressure will be high
And too much
And you'll be squeezed
Into a quark.
Mar 9, 2018
Mar 9, 2018 at 11:15 AM UTC
You think that one day
Your heart might stop
Sometimes you can be scared
And sometimes you’re not
Sometimes you want to die
Sometimes you don’t
It depends on who you’re with
And what’s going on
Being depressed
Or bipolar isn’t easy
It isn’t fun either
Always ruining moments
You want to know why
You’re life’s upside down
But you can never find out
Because you can’t slow down
Know you’re not alone
There are others like you
Who want to be happy
But have no reason to
Jan 14, 2018
Jan 14, 2018 at 8:09 PM UTC
Middle School
Full of friends and love
Hate and lust
Being thrown under the bus
Doing the right thing
Is harder than it sounds
Harder than it looks, too
Always wanting to be found
Rescued from the abyss
That feeds off of your sadness
That doesn’t know when to stop
That will make you collapse
Needing support
Wherever you can find it
Taking it from others
If it means peace
Life upside-down
Never know how
To turn your life over
That frown upside-down
So when you find peace
Wherever you find it
You never want to leave it
But sometimes you must
Coming back to resurface
After all the sadness
You see the world differently
Then you saw it before.
People can help
But sometimes they don’t
Sometimes they think their helping
But really they’re not
Don’t fall for the lies
The deceptions they place
To try and make you come with them
And do the wrong things
Because in the end, you’ll find
You never wanted to be with them
You just want to be you
And not just some hologram
Embrace who you are
And what you’ve gone through
No matter what it is
Walk up with open arms
Take what you have
And don’t worry about what you don’t
Because in the end, you’ll find
There’s nothing wrong with you
You’ve been through high times
And low ones, too
But no matter what had happened
You found your way through
Through the darkness, you emerged
Opening your eyes
To a new world of color
Without wearing a disguise
Learning who you are
Can change how you act
Change how you feel
Even change how you react
Because now you know
How to see in color
No longer in the darkness
World seeming brighter
Every day can be a good one
If you know how to live it
All you have to do
Is change how you see it
Dec 5, 2017
Dec 5, 2017 at 3:30 PM UTC
Let's pretend that I can dance tonight
Who needs friends? Who needs day's light?
I'll pretend I can whip and pirouette
Let's see how far into the night I get
One hour, two hours, three crowds and four
My vision is blurry but I'll dance some more
I wonder how that boy did his coat and his hair
I gotta get out to the garden's frigid air
Who needs the friends from schools that you know?
Who needs that cute guy when the dances get slow?
All I need is the beat that shakes the ground
And the dusk induced feeling of no one else being around
With the last song of the night
The cops push us out without a fight
Mar 7, 2017
Mar 7, 2017 at 6:59 PM UTC